All Comments on 'Basketball Diaries Ch. 01'

original and fun. congratulations. stay with this couple: competitiveness and attraction are always a hot combination.

Lovely story! Good writing.. and a good read. Part is somehow reminiscent of another story in the archives here about another Josephine playing basketball...

i really enjoyed this story. I really enjoyed teh strip basketball game they played. i hope there is another chapter maybe wehre their siblings fuck the other's siblings

but just one thing: two very clinical mentions of bartolin's fluid in the middle of hot sex scenes really breaks the mood. erotica is generally not the place to show off your knowledge of formal medical terminology. it makes a girl feel like she's suddenly been yanked off her lover's cock and plopped down in her doctor's office, where a technical lecture on birth control and std's will be next. not the response you were wanting me to feel, i hope? =)

Very nice story - and let me guess... will the brother and sister get to play in chapter two?

On the upside: The extended metaphor of basketball as sex is a superb idea. The dynamic character development--from rivals to lovers--is a refreshing technique not often utilized on this site. That they could be caught in the wide open driveway was imbedded tension from early on, but that it was voyeuring siblings who enjoyed it was an unexpected surprise that presents sequel possibilities. And I liked the way the final score was couched in terms of orgasms. Finally, the whole episode has no doubt got Kevin's confidence up, so I expect him to be a real star on court in follow-on stories.

On the downside: Kellog, dude, are these special Kamehameha rules for one-on-one streetball y'all use over there in Hawaii? "Winner takes it out?" No b-ball player would ever say that--the expression is "make it--take it." Play to 15 by 2s and 3s? In this kind of game, there's no 3-point shot or 2-point shot; all shots made are worth a single point. "Top of the key," you mention over and over. You tellin' me Kevin's dad painted a key on the driveway? And a 3-point line, too, right? Calling a charging foul?! Please, even pussies know that's not done in this sort of game. Together, these b-ball blunders undermine the story's credibility. I echo the previous comment that technical terms like Bartholin's fluid do not belong in an erotic story.

In sum, your writing is very good, but your lack of real-world one-on-one roundball knowledge significantly detracts from the story.

Loved everything about it! Great story, concept, and the sex was really hot. I have played basketball with girls and wished something that perfect happened to me