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"I'll be eight."

"Eighteen?"

"Silly." She laughs.

"I have to buy you a present. A king has to spoil his princess on her birthday."

"You're not a king."

"Am so. Look." I pick up the cricket bat we've been practicing with in the back yard and hold it like a sword. "Tar rant ta ra! Onward, fine steed. Let us conquer these peasants." We laugh at my stupidity.

"Make Mummy stay with you." She says with a serious frown. The smile having dropped from her little face like the tennis ball she had just held.

"Oh darling..."

"You can do it. You can make her stay. Hmmph. 'He' made her stay."

"I won't ever make her stay. Not like that. Not even you. I won't make you stay either. He was..."

"Mean. Evil. Like in that movie."

"Which movie?"

"Rapunzel. He never let her cut her hair and he made her stay at home all the time. Mumma wanted to go to work and teach kids like me. She loves kids. And he made her stay. She still won't cut her hair or mine and it's so hot. Look at my neck! It's red."

"You want to get a haircut? Is this what this is all about, Twinkles?" I started calling her twinkles as a bit of a joke after she spilled a whole little bottle of glitter in the bath one night and we all ended up going to work with random glitter on us for a couple of weeks.

"I don't know."

"Hmm."

"I want a cuddle." She straddles me and hugs tight against me. "I just want to make my own mind up."

"Oh..." I snuggle her head in the palm of my hand, pulling it into my shoulder. "Okay. So, look. We have to all learn a new thing. We have to learn to tell each other how we feel without being afraid. I think they call it 'trust'. You know?"

"Like when you ask me what I want for tea and it doesn't matter? Even if Mum's at a meeting and it's a big thing like spaghetti?"

"Even then. We have to be honest and not afraid of each other."

"What if you get cranky."

"Oh..." I nod quite seriously. "Well, you know how that worked out last time? I'll probably get all spastic and go and-"

"Hahahaha." She giggled so happily that I felt forgiven for my outburst so long ago. "You'll try and throw the mower on the roof again. You almost got it."

"What if you get cranky?" I ask her very seriously.

"I don't."

"Why not? Surely you get angry sometimes. There's been lots of things that would make a normal kid get cranky that have happened to you."

Her eyes start watering, and she holds me terribly strongly for a small person.

"I do. But I can't do anything big enough."

"Okay. So..." I snuggle her head with my hand a bit more. "We'll get to work on that. There's lots of ways to get angry feelings out without hurting people. You can draw. You can kick a ball around. Maybe even a punching bag. Maybe we can ask Mummy, she's a teacher, I bet she has great ideas? What do you think, Twinkles?"

"I think I love you, Daddy Blue."

"I think I love you too, Penny."

I'm wondering where Connie's gone as Penny settles in closely to my neck and warmly fills my arms. We've long since eaten and Penny's way past time for bed. As my little cuddle buddy starts winking and blinking, I hear sniffles. Loud, sobbing sniffles that twist my head back gently so as not to disturb my little lap warmer and find Connie standing braced upon the breakfast counter watching us.

She sobs so deeply and smiles so fully at the same time that I don't know what to make of the moment.

"I love you so fucking much." She mouths silently. "Thank you."

They had hair appointments the following day. Connie rang to book the appointment after Penny settled that night.

The next day, her words, "It's up to her," rang deeply in my ears as the trumpets that heralded a kind of freedom for them both.

Penny perched in the kid seat and told the hairdresser, "I don't know. Just cut the ends off. I like it how it is."

Connie's haircut took a little more getting used to.

"She always had it like that. Look." Winnie said, passing me an old yearbook. "Grade twelve. Looked like a boy."

"Did bloody well not." Connie laughs pointing at the picture. "Tits, clearly."

With her short pixie cut hair she looks fucking cute. Devilish. Like mischief waiting for a place to happen. Following her haircut and the weight of years of conforming to someone else's ideals falling on the salon floor all around her ankles, she's been a dynamo. The bedroom has required a second four pack of condoms in the same week and a new tube of KY.

It's like a younger version of her has been released from some prison and is stampeding all over ground it's feared to tread. The other night she insisted we try anal sex. I've never done it and probably won't ever beg to do it again, but it was a wild moment. Seriously, it was just good because it was wrong. The stimulation was all in the wrong place for me and she had to jill herself off to come.

No complaints. Definitely a bucket list moment but I don't think either of us will put that on the repeat list.

We flew high. We soared on some nirvana of our birth through some really hard times. We felt invincible and we got so damn happy. So damn happy that something had to snap.

Like Icarus with his beautiful wings, we were having our time in the sun. One evening snuggled up closely, the three of us were on the couch when the phone rang. We were soaring high above the problems of the last few months and smiling quietly to ourselves in smug utopian comfort.

"Gordon. It's Greg. Are you home tomorrow evening? There have been developments we can't discuss on the phone."

"Sure. Just me?"

"Shit." He was quiet for moments and Connie looked up puzzled at me. "Look. Probably best if we meet at Terry and Winnies. I'll have friends with me. An inspector and Frosty. Er... The assistant-"

"Commissioner. Jesus Greg. Are we safe?"

"Lock your doors. Can't say more. Around four o'clock tomorrow. Is that too early?"

"I'll take a couple of hours off. We'll be there."

We locked our doors and checked all the windows. Connie laughed at me when I put the cricket bat underneath the bed. With Penny between us and our bedroom door locked as well, we lay awake tossing and turning for a long time.

~*~

There was an unmarked police car parked next to the shed when we arrived the following afternoon. A tall, older man with lots of shiny stuff on his shoulders was leaning against Terry's boat alongside a very stiff and prim looking woman. She was tall and thin and angular with a severe face. Her dark hair was tied tersely in a neat bun and her humanity was only confirmed when Terry said something that made her smile. In that moment you could see another side of her.

We were all nervous as we approached. Little Penny held my hand tightly and frowned darkly at the visitors. I wondered what was going through her mind. It had doubtless been a long while since she'd seen a police uniform.

When Greg saw us, he gestured to the others and they met us halfway down the driveway.

"Constance, Penny, Gordon... These are my friends, Assistant Commissioner Ackinclose and Inspector Knowles."

We shook hands and exchanged hellos.

"Please, let's not be terribly formal. I'm Kevin to friends of Greg's."

"And I'd be more comfortable if you called me Anne." The inspector insisted. "Terry has loaned us his study, if you don't mind getting straight to business. We've got a lot of ground to cover."

Terry took Penny back into the house with promises of ice-cream and jelly, and we followed the three stern looking people into Terry's study. We sat informally around the large desk and Anne arranged a dozen or more manilla folders beside her laptop.

"So... Greg raised some concerns while we were fishing the other weekend and they worried me." Kevin explained. He had a warm tone that conveyed sincerity and more than a little power. "Now, there is a law that makes it a criminal offence for me or any other cop to identify a confidential informant in relation to drug matters, so I have to hedge around a little. Let's just say that I was quite suspicious about who may have provided the information which led to the raids on your place, Gordon and on Terry. So, my friend Anne did a little digging for me. I'll let her continue."

"My job is to investigate coppers and other public servants, politicians, judges that sort of thing. It doesn't make me very popular but it's an important one. I usually don't handle things personally; I have a team of detectives who handle most of it. Unless it's someone with a lot of power or like this matter, if it stands to embarrass the Police Service greatly."

"I'll get straight into it. A lot of police believe that once they hit the 'delete' button their email history is lost. In fact, our servers archive seven years of sent and received mail along with delivery logs. When Kevin asked me to take a look at your ex-husband to find any evidence of concealing his domestic violence and possible links to ongoing harassment, I stumbled across a history of emails that has threatened an avalanche of fallout as we follow the branches of investigation that it's opened up for us."

"Specifically, for yourself Constance. Over the period of your marriage, he has manipulated other cops, doctors and tampered with official records. The other police officers have to be investigated as well now, because by assisting him to change the course of justice or simply not following procedures, they too have committed offences. You are about to become very unpopular with the local police."

"It's Connie please. And we've had our share of harassment already."

"I can't outline the evidence to hand but let me assure you I am aware of your cat, Gordon and your tyre. It may have been mentioned in an email. I also know that you've both been getting a bit of traffic attention and patrols have stepped up in your street."

"I felt like I was being paranoid." I admit.

"We can't do anything about your firearms charge." Kevin frowns. "But Roger has been suspended without pay until the outcome of the investigation."

"Ah, that was on me. I just never got around to it."

"What's likely to happen to Roger?" Connie asks.

"Well, let's just say your matters are the tip of an iceberg for him. He's facing criminal charges of stalking, pending a complaint and statement from each of you. We'd also like fresh access to your medical records. I'd consider it a personal favour if you let me charge him with every count of assault, he's ever committed against you. My mother was a domestic violence victim and I take it very personally."

"Can you charge him with assault for hitting me? I was always told that all they could do was take out a protection order because it was domestic violence, not an assault. I couldn't see the point; it was just a piece of paper."

"You've never been given the truth. Deliberately. Your husband and his colleagues made sure you weren't able to embarrass them. In any case, their world is about to become a very bad place. In answer to your question of whether I can charge him, there are some limits which Greg will properly explain in relation to statutes of limitations, but let me assure you, he will be held accountable for every serious assault he committed. There is another matter..." She looks questioningly at the Assistant Commissioner who slow nods with a gravity that is fearsome.

"You see. Ah... He's... Roger has been working in the watchhouse. He can't access his weapons while there is a protection order against him. Without his weapons, he can't remain operational, so he was placed in a non-operational role. Oh dear." She fumbles with a folder and inspects a sheet of paper. "This is unpleasant... His email history unearthed a network of criminal activity by police and prison guards that is going to become one of those scandals akin to the Fitzgerald era."

"He and others have been coercing female inmates into committing sexual acts with them and sharing video of it via private dropbox and other file sharing services. We have enough evidence already to charge him with six counts of rape along with other analogous offences arising from his actions. At present we haven't taken action because we have to co-ordinate with interstate services and pull the trigger simultaneously to prevent destruction of evidence and to contain the media fallout."

"Holy shit." I mumble.

"He raped them?" Connie asks.

"Not violently. But his use of his authority to procure sexual acts constitutes rape. It was 'I'll let you have a cigarette in the vehicle bay if you blow me' kind of stuff. Still... a thorough abuse of power and rape in the eyes of the law."

"Indeed." Kevin nods. "We have a covert operative deployed at the watchhouse for the time being. The thing that concerns us presently is ensuring your families safety. As Anne outlined, as witnesses, you are about to become extremely unpopular."

"It certainly explains a few things." Connie's face is dark. I haven't seen her this angry looking before.

"Like what Connie? Are you remembering behaviours or events? We are going to pick your mind over the next few days while we take statements. It would help if you make some notes to help your memory."

"Like herpes and two other STI's the bastard left me with."

"Oh snap. I am sorry for you. I'm also concerned, Kevin."

"How's that, Anne."

"Well, the fact of infecting Connie means firstly that we have to cast our net wider to include his time in town here. There may be victims here as well as at the watchhouse more recently. We'll have to have all of his victims notified and tested. Perhaps even consider 'Knowingly Transmit' or other endangerment charges."

"Do you mind for a moment?" I ask them and nod in Connie's direction. "We might just go for a quick walk."

"Of course. Take your time." Anne says and I lead a teary Connie out on to the veranda where we sit on a swinging double seat and let the dust settle in our minds.

"I'm worried for Penny and you." I eventually tell her. "Maybe if you stay out here whi-"

"I'm not leaving you. Don't make me go." She sobs.

"I'll be fine. I want you here away from the cops in town."

"Penny won't understand."

"Bugger it, Constance. What if they do something to my house? I don't want you in town."

"I have work, Gordon. I still have to... God. What a damn mess." I rub her back as she breathes deeply, "I'll stay out here, if you stay too. That's it. Final. No discussion."

Despite my worry for my house and belongings, I worry more for the girl's safety. "Fine."

"I'm so sorry."

"We've been through this. He's making his choices. You're making yours. I love you. You're not forcing anything on me. Drop it please."

"I can't believe some of it. I understand the domestic violence and the cover up but the rapes? I never imagined he'd be violent to other women."

"They put it more like coercion."

"Still violent in my books. Stand over-ish. I can just see his face. He was like that with me sometimes. He'd force me sometimes... Others, just make me feel like shit if I didn't feel like it."

"This is going to be really tough, love. They're going to drag you through years of abuse and make you live it all over again. We can just skip it. Bugger off somewhere and let them tidy up their own sandpit."

"The karma bus is coming for Roger. If I can't drive it, I'm getting a seat right up the front." She wipes her eyes and growls it with a vengeful tone I've never heard in her voice. "Promise me, please. Look after yourself. I'm going to be a bit of a mess. I know that. But I'll still love you. Please remember that. Just let me fight my battles. You look after you and Penny."

"There's plenty of me to go around. I'm here for you too."

"Bloody hell, I love you Gordy."

"It's my willy isn't it? You're just gagging for it."

"Idiot."

~*~

I took three weeks off. The AC, Kevin, spoke directly with the Minister for Education who immediately put Connie on indefinite paid leave. If it wasn't for Mel, our time at the Boland's farm would have been like a holiday. Mel was our constant reminder that we were sequestered for a reason. She was a witness protection officer; appointed by Anne to keep us safe for the duration.

Anne was insistent when she said, "She's a personal friend and a colleague. We worked together in Child Protection a few years ago. She's also one of the few women to pass the Special Emergency Response Team selection process. She unfortunately, injured her rotor cuff in a helicopter jump, so she didn't finish. She's the hardest woman I know and the only one I'd trust."

So, along with setting up an infra-red perimeter and a bunch of surveillance equipment, she liaised on a daily basis with the investigators and took many addendums to our ever-growing statements. She also took great joy in cruelling us with personal protection training.

The little grey-haired lady sat on my chest with her knees pinning my elbows and slapped me gently on the face.

"Next time I pin you, I'm going to kiss you. Try harder, or the old lady will probably even use tongue."

Connie laughs her bum off. She enjoys seeing me thrown around like a rag doll by the little woman. "Yuck. Don't do it, Mel. You don't know where that tongue's been."

They have quite the banter going. "You're next young lady. I know full well what he does with that tongue, and you should stand advised that I play both teams."

"Ooh." Connie giggles.

"You okay, cobber?" Mel asks. I've been a bit off.

"Yeah. Bit of a gut ache. Headache too."

She puts her hand to my head. "You have a temperature as well, mate. Maybe you're coming down with a bug."

Mel stands and hands me a rubber gun. "Okay Connie darl, you know the drill."

I stand with the 'gun' pointed menacingly at Constance and she strikes quickly as she has been instructed. Her hand grasps the barrel and tips it sharply upwards and in the same movement she yanks the replica down out of my best grip to turn it on me and say, 'bang bang bang'.

"Okay. Place it down. Secure his person. Check for other weapons. Create distance."

Lying on the mats I watch smiling as Connie exaggeratedly 'searches' my crotch, "He's still got a weapon, but it's only a small one." Then she backs steadily away checking her environment.

"Good girl. Years ago, we used to just train recruits to rehearse taking the gun so it became a kinetic memory. Once they'd stripped it we'd have them hand it to their training partner so they go again. We changed that when a cop took a crook's gun like textbook and automatically handed it back. What a spoon. Okay, Penny darl. You and Daddy Blue do the jingle bells training while Mummy and I do some more pressure point work."

Penny loves this. I take a training pad that's shaped like a triangle and hold it between my legs to protect my 'bells'. My favourite little miss takes a 'guard up' stance and shouts, "Back off!" and kicks the pad as hard as she can. Then she giggles and does it with the other foot. We only stop when one of her kicks reminds me that I need to go and piss for the hundredth time today. I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with my bladder.

Maybe too much water, I think as I pee behind a tree. There's a funny itch or sting as I flow and it finally dawns on me what I'm experiencing. Fucking hell. Not right now. Please god no.

Inspecting the skin of my shaft I find three tiny red spots. They look like nothing. But when I touch at them, they itch. Oh god, this is gonna kill Connie. There are more little spots around the base of me in my pubes. Jesus. I have to tell her and how?

"Oww! What?" Connie huffs noticing my expression as Mel drives the knuckle of her index finger into the nexus of Connie's jaw and neck, just below the ear. Mel releases her and looks at my grimace.

"Um... I need to visit the doctors, Mel. I'm sorry Connie, I've got a few spots I can't explain."