All Comments on 'Be Careful What You Wish For Ch. 02'

You're combining some of my most powerful fantasies. Therapy inducing sex. Women seducing reluctant men. Taboo sex (especially powerful when it's a woman pretending to be a daughter rather than the actual daughter, which you've done to wonderful effect with Kathy gets a pony and John the lawyer stories).

But it's not just the content. It's your storytelling methods. The voyeuristic element of the husband. The way you were able to shift perspective seamlessly. Under a lesser writer, it often becomes confused, garbled mish mash. But with you, it gave the story a kinetic energy, and another viewpoint in which to put ourselves.

Your descriptions were fantastic. Many great similes and metaphors to paint pictures. Also, on a personal note, I've always loved your use of ellipses. Please continue with it. I know some people give you criticism for it, but fuck them. I think it gives exactly the intended effect, which is indicating the pause between exclamations from your characters --- establishing the rhythm of the sex and breathing.

As always, thank you for all your contributions. You are an exceptional storyteller.

Please write more stories, you have talent.

This is a great story done in your usually wonderfully descriptive way. Wow - so hot! There are so many places you could take this... from the lovely therapist to her sexy assistant, to the hot next door neighbor... more please. Keep it up! (err sorry for the pun).

I'm glad to have been able to enjoy EnCarta's various submissions over the years. I hope you are well, wherever you are. I know you've taken long breaks before, so I can only hope this is another one. But whatever the reason for your absence, I miss your writing. Good luck to you in all your endeavors.

You had the potential to tell a good story, but you left it half way across the arc.

Did the "therapists" just turn Marion into a lizard-brain fuck monster? Dave sure doesn't want a wife who viciously kick her partners in the nuts all the time and brings home STDs!

The woman who recommended the therapists didn't appear to be a sexual predator, so what's going to happen to Marion by the end of her therapy? Dave needs to have a serious talk with the friend. Then he needs to have a long talk with the therapists and insist they explain their work, and how they plan to resolve the process. He's got to learn to man-up, be pro-active, and insist on answers.

Then (if this is the extent of the therapy) Dave needs to learn to use the trigger words responsibly - "aeons" when Marion is in bed with him, and then "hectic" as soon as they are done with a fuck. Don't let the monster out of her cage to roam the streets!

If there isn't further therapy resolution, what would happen if Dave set up a hidden video camera and taped Marion's transition (at home) from cold bitch to monster, and back. Ask her, when she is "sober", which one she wants to be?

Please do the hard work here and finish the story! Thanks!

RK