Beach Bum

I'm not sure exactly what point things turned for the worse, but I do remember that Kathy and I seemed to be doing less with each other. She was spending more time with her new "society" friends. She got more involved with the charity organization she had been volunteering for, to the point where they voted her to a leadership position.

I was very proud of her, but it ended up taking a lot of her time. When she had to go out of town for donation events, I would go with her as often as I could. There were a few times where I had not gone, for various reasons. I had no reason to worry about anything, at that time.

*************

"It was during one of those trips, that I discovered my wife was having an affair," I said. There were a few gasps, as I went on. "I had been stuck behind again, but the issue I was dealing with ended up resolved very quickly. Cliché, I know, but I went to surprise her and caught them in the act. The details don't really matter, but sufficed to say that was the end of our marriage. The money had truly destroyed the beautiful person she had once been."

After a moment of silence, "Wow," was all James could manage.

I went on. "So, she broke my heart, and I had to get away. She had been seeing the young guy on the side, and had the nerve to tell me that he was better hung and could last longer than me. When the divorce was final, she did end up with two million of my inheritance, but the rest stayed with me. My parents had asked us both to sign a pre-nuptial agreement, due to their wealth. I had initially been against it, but Kathy ironically had agreed to it back then. I'm sure back when we first met, she never thought she would do what she did..."

"So, you're saying that the money caused her to cheat? I call Bullshit!" stated Shawn.

"No, I'm saying that all the money ended up ruining her. She wasn't the same kind and gentle woman I had fallen in love with, I was just too blind at the time to see it. She'd changed, and I blame that on the money," I responded, with some anger in my voice.

"All right, all right. I get it," Shawn said, raising his hands in defeat. "Just had some flashbacks of my own."

"Anyway, I traveled for a while. Nothing could take my mind off losing her. I bought Purgatory when I felt that I had to get farther away. I chartered a crew to take me around the world, and after about two years, I ended up here," I finished.

There was an awkward moment of silence, before I heard a clang of glass. I looked to see James grinning like a fool, holding something behind his back.

"What the hell are you so smug for?" I asked, grumbling like the old man I was.

"Oh, no reason," he said, moving in front of me.

Just then, Kelly came out from behind the bar, holding onto a small cake with a candle lit on top. The group started signing that infernal damn song. I hate them. When they finished signing, they looked at me expectantly. Oh, fuck it. As James would probably say, "Hakuna Matata." Like a schmuck, I blew out the candle. Naturally, my wish stayed a secret.

"Thank you, everyone, this means a lot to this old man," I managed, before my throat caught.

"Happy birthday, Howard," James said, handing me my present.

It was the one thing that I had been looking for, but had so much trouble finding. The box was a very matte finished black, with an embossed logo and the number 50 on the front. It was Glenfiddich 50-year-old, Rare Collection Whiskey. The bottle was valued at nearly forty-thousand dollars.

"You did it, you found it?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I had to call in some favors, but I found it," James replied.

"Thank you. I don't care how you did it, but thank you, my friend. Thank you, everyone."

I looked around at my group of friends, all smiling at me, and felt a peace I hadn't known in a very long time. I was with my family. We enjoyed the small cake, joking around while we ate.

"Seriously, there is NO way that we could have put the actual number of candles on there that we need to cover your age!" exclaimed Shawn.

"Fuck you very much, sir!" I answered, using a time-honored tradition of cursing in return.

"Sorry, you're too old for me," Shawn shot back.

I couldn't help it, I started roaring with laughter. Everyone was laughing as well, and it felt wonderful to have such great friends. Eventually people started leaving, so we broke up and I went back to my yacht. The night was so wonderful, that I didn't even feel the need to drink the rest of the night away, going to sleep early that night. It was the first truly restful sleep I had gotten in a very long time.

*************

"Howard, you owe me the stories about your time on the water," Shawn said again, several weeks later.

"My friend, I will regale you with those stories, but not tonight," I replied.

He had been pressing me for details of the time after I bought my yacht. There were some sad times, spent in exotic ports, wishing that I had done this with my wife... ex-wife. Maybe if I had spent more time with her, she wouldn't have gone astray. I will probably never figure it out. There had been some happy, and even fun times though, too. Those were the stories that I am sure he wanted to hear.

"I suppose I could tell you one though," I gave in.

He simply smiled, lifted his glass to mine, and clinked with his salute. That Saturday night, I felt I could share something with him.

"You see, about six months into my journey, I stopped in Rio de Janeiro. One of the most breathtaking places I have ever been."

"Never been," Shawn replied. His look spoke volumes, as if saying, "Do I look like I could afford a trip to Rio?"

"Sorry. I just remember it like it was only yesterday. There was some kind of magic there, for me. I felt that same thing, here in Hawaii. That's the main reason I chose to stay here permanently."

"So, you stopped in Rio..." Shawn prompted.

"Yeah, yeah. Rio was a beautiful city, but the truly wonderful thing I found there, was Theresa. She managed to renew my faith in humanity," I smiled, remembering her face.

"Theresa? If she was so special, why isn't she here?"

"She used to tell me, she had too much love for one lifetime. She was very up front about herself, not a dishonest bone in her body. Basically, she was telling me that she wasn't looking to settle down. Theresa was amazing though, and in a week's time, I felt as if I had known her forever. I felt invigorated, but knew that I had to leave Rio before I became too attached to her."

"Wow," was all he said, sipping from his beer.

James and Tanya showed up then, laughing about something on the way up to the bar. They sat down, and we all greeted each other.

"Another great day, eh old man?" James joked.

"Hah, yeah, another day in paradise."

James turned to Tanya. "Seriously, aren't you upset that you didn't take that role?"

"No, not at all. If anything, I'm more glad now that I hadn't," she replied.

"What are you two talking about? That movie thing you mentioned?" Shawn asked.

"Yeah, the movie was Backcountry. We watched it last night, and damn. I felt sorry for Missy's character, but her boyfriend was an idiot. I kept yelling at the screen," Tanya said.

"She did, too," added James, with a smile.

"But yeah, I felt for her, so she did a great job on her part. The guy got it in the worst way, though. Mainly I just didn't want to do it. I'm happy doing the voice-overs and more family friendly stuff, now," Tanya replied.

"WHERE IS HE?" Yelled someone from behind us, nearly knocking me off my stool with surprise.

"Where is, who?" asked Kelly from behind the bar.

"HOWARD DENTON!" an angry female voice yelled again.

"Okay, chill lady, will ya?" Kelly asked.

"I'm right here," I replied, turning around.

Time stopped. It couldn't be. Why was she here?

"Clarissa?" I choked out, bewildered.

"DADDY!" she practically spit, voice full of venom.

I blinked, not knowing what to do or say. I know my mouth was open, as was just about everyone else's at the bar. I had to say something.

"What are you doing here? Is something wrong? I honored your wish to never speak to you again," finally having found my voice. "It has killed me all these years, but I never tried to contact you after your letter."

She stared at me like I had horns growing out of my head. "What about HER?" she yelled, pointing at Tanya.

As if time had resumed, Tanya finally caught on. "Mom? What are you doing here? Why did you just call Howard, Daddy?"

All eyes turned to me. "I guess I should explain, huh?"

Clarissa just continued her angry glare, nodding once. I looked around at all my friends, finally resting my gaze on Tanya. It was time to come clean.

"Tanya came to me, but only because I tried to help her out, financially. A few years ago, I helped fund a project she was on, so she reached out to me, to thank me. I tried so hard not to meddle in your lives, but just couldn't sit by and do nothing. You were still my little girl..."

"You hurt me more than I ever thought possible," Clarissa accused, tears now welling up in her eyes.

I hung my head in shame. "I know. I still miss her, you know. She was too good for me," I replied. "I will go to my grave regretting the pain I caused your mother, and you..."

Silence commanded the area, until James coughed. "Sorry, Howard, it's my fault she's here. I had no idea she was Tanya's mother, though. I tracked her down and mailed her a letter about you. I was trying to help you out, after you told us all about her at your birthday party."

"Mom, this is the guy I was telling you about. This is James," Tanya said.

Clarissa turned to James. "The guy you said you were in love with? Honey, he's MY age," she exclaimed.

"I know that. He has a daughter that is nearly my age. I don't care about that, and I hope you can understand how important he is to me."

I felt like I was in the twilight zone. It was the most bizarre situation I had ever been in, aside from maybe when Ellen had walked in on Candice and me. I snapped back to the present, and looked at my daughter. My God, she was beautiful.

"So..." began Clarissa.

"You're so beautiful. You remind me so much of your mother..." I tried to say, as tears began running down my cheeks.

Any anger left in Clarissa, melted away. She sat down at the table next to us, with a sad and defeated look. She, too, had moist eyes. In fact, I looked around and didn't see any dry eyes. Suckers, I hate them all.

"Clarissa, I never stopped wanting to be a part of your life. I kept tabs on you, but never interfered. I was at your college graduation, after you went back to school. Being a young mother couldn't have made that any easier, but you did great. I was so proud of you!

"When Tanya was a little girl, I tried to be there for a few of her events, too. When she was eight, I hid in the back during her dance recital. When you got elected mayor of your home-town, I saved the newspaper clipping with the picture taken during your acceptance speech.

"I have also seen every movie that Tanya was ever in. How could I not? She's my granddaughter..." I stopped, unable to continue.

I cried. I cried like a little baby, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me, then squeeze tightly. When I calmed some, and opened my eyes, my friends were all sniffling as Tanya released her bear-hug on me.

"I always wondered why you took an interest in my career, back then," she said. "I'm so glad that you're my grandpa!"

I hugged her tightly, before we released each other. Tanya looked over to her mother, and waved her over. Clarissa looked apprehensive, before giving in and joining our hug.

"I missed you, Daddy!" she wailed, sounding like my little girl again. It opened the floodgates once more in both of us.

"I'm so sorry," I said. "I have never forgiven myself, never. I lost the two most important things in the world to me, and had no one to blame but myself."

*************

"I hurt too much to understand that you lost mom too. You didn't give her the cancer that killed her. I see that now," Clarissa said somberly.

"I loved your mother dearly, but I loved you too. My heart was ripped from my chest, the day I read your letter. I knew you were mad, but the fact that I contributed to all that pain..." I said, voice drifting off.

Everyone had gone home, and I had offered a stateroom on my yacht for her to use for the night. She spotted the name painted on the stern as we approached it.

"Purgatory?" she asked.

"The story of my life," I nodded as I spoke. "I told you that I hadn't forgiven myself, right?"

This time she simply nodded. We went aboard and sat in the lounge for a while, having a night cap. Clarissa sat staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I just can't believe everything that's happened. When I was younger, I used to think you and Mom were like a prince and a princess together. When I got older, I still thought you were both silly in love with each other. Why, Dad? Why did you do it?" she asked.

"There's no easy answer to that question. I've asked myself that same thing, a thousand times over, for the last several decades."

"Was it her? Did mom do anything wrong?"

"I can assure you, it had nothing to do with your mother. I think that's what hurt us both the most. She was completely innocent. I got selfish, and forgot why I loved her so much. I think I took her for granted, that she would always be there."

"Why didn't you try harder to make her get treatments?" she asked, again with agony in her quiet voice.

"I did everything I could think of. I begged her. I tried to bribe her, by offering to leave. I offered to let her get revenge on me, with another man. I even begged her to see a grief counselor, but she had already lost the will. It broke me."

"You know, two years after I got married, I tried to reconnect with you. Aaron, that's my husband, talked me into trying. He said it wasn't good for me to keep the negativity inside. So, I went home. By that time, you had moved out, and there was no one around that knew where you went."

"I had no idea. After I sold everything, I moved out here. I kept tabs on what you were doing, but didn't have you followed or anything like that. I never knew... Your last letter to me really hurt, but I respected your wish."

We sat silent for a time, letting the day's events process. Eventually, she got up and announced she was tired, going to bed. The next day, we spent nearly eight hours reconnecting. She told me about her husband, and we talked about Tanya. I told her about my marriage to Katherine, and how that ended. Lastly, we talked about the future, and staying in contact with each other. After dinner, she packed her things for an early morning flight home. We enjoyed a nice dinner, with James and Tanya joining us. It truly felt like family.

The next morning was an emotional one for everyone. James was kissing Tanya goodbye, as she was off to Australia to shoot some family movie. He was going to be joining her in a week, but being apart that long always made them extra sentimental. Wuss. Clarissa was tearing up, saying bye to both Tanya and me.

"Make sure you call when you land," I said. Now that she was back in my life, I didn't ever want it to end.

"I will, I promise."

"I should come visit your family for the holidays, this year," I said.

"I'd like that. Bye, Dad," she said, as we hugged one last time.

My life was far from perfect, but it felt pretty good that night. As I prepared for bed, I said a silent prayer to Ellen. I could only hope she heard me.

Thank you for being my wife. I hope you are proud of the daughter that you helped raise, and one day, I hope you will forgive me. I love you.

I just hoped that I could forgive myself.

*************

Constructive criticism (positive or negative) is always welcome. As usual, I won't delete any comments unless they are simply attacks against me or one of my editors (even the usual "1* cuck shit" comments). Lastly, I do NOT intend to make the Beach Bum like "The Shack" that Todd172 has created. He deserves the credit for giving me the inspiration to have a central meeting place for my group of castaways, but beyond that I will never copy another author intentionally. Honestly, I look forward to reading a lot more about Todd's crew, just as much as some of you hopefully do. Todd, if you read this, thank you, sir!

I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it, and look for more tales of this crew in the future!