All Comments on 'Beach Weekend'

Divorce the whore yesterday.

when it happened to me I didn't get pregnant but I think my husband knows what happened

I hope Tish had some orgasms when Kyle and Lee fucked her!

An interesting story, there's something about being at the beach that winds me up too, that being said, salt water inside my private parts might not feel so good, but I admit to never having tried to do it under the water either.

Thanks for sharing, Jackie.

Great story. Similar thing happened to me, except I was with my boyfriend at spring break. He got drunk and passed out. Then three other guys carried me to their motel room and fucked me all night. I was pregnant when I got back to school. I put my baby up for adoption. Carla

Hell yeahhhh, to Carla and the other anonsluts , yeahhhh women like you need this cuntry of hoeamerica, yeahhh babes, let them grab yo by da puss!

As for the drivel above, who gives a fock about‘a stupid slut, a cuck, two high moral future captains of the economy and a little sorrow bastard?!

Captcha

Read both this one and ‘The Red Dress’ and they both have the same weakness—no drama. Now before you get your feelings hurt, let me hasten to clarify; you can conceive a good story line—you are just lousy at telling your story. (Sorry to be so blunt, but if you correct that one thing you’ll be one of the best.)

You didn’t ask for it, but you surely need constructive criticism, so here goes.

# Make your characters believable for the life you give them. In both these stories wife’s character should have been working in a cheap Mexican Cat House. Man! Give her some moral guide lines and just a bit of character. I’ve owned Bitch dogs who act exactly like your Tish.

# Jack has got to be the dumbest SOB alive. He leaves his wife at the beach for a couple hours (What the heck is needed so badly when you’re staying in a tent on the beach?) and when he gets back he goes to sleep. Then the stupid SOB lets a couple strangers get him drunk so they can fuck his wife again.

# Dialogue! Absolutely none of the very thing that can add drama to a story; it’s through dialogue we can best give the readers insight into our characters soul. Why did Trish so willingly allow herself to be violated?

Suppose we’d read something like this: “What the hell’s so important that you need to drive all the way back there today, Jack? I thought this was to be our day of frolicking around and maybe getting a little bit out in the water.”

“I’ll be right back, Babe. You’ll hardly miss me.” Jack gave her a peck on the cheek and walked away.

“Hardly miss you, my ass! Here I am looking forward to a good screwing and he’s off on a wild goose chase.” She looked over where the two strangers were staring back at her, thinking, ‘I bet they wouldn’t leave their woman stranded on a beach…’

Anyway, you get the idea. Study writers like Reed Richards, Carvohi, RichardGerald and SwingerJoe and others. Merge their styles into one that fits you.

Most important—don’t get discouraged, you have talent, just fine tune it. cd

thecarolinadreamer - Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate the time you took to do it. I understand what you're saying. The stories I write aren't really stories, they describe an observed event. That's why I don't include motivations or dialog. When you see something happening at another table in a restaurant you don't know what the people are thinking or their background. You just see what they're doing. The events I describe have a root in reality but they are indeed fantasies so they go to extreme. And when I write in first person I don't include dialog because I honestly couldn't tell you much about the conversation I had last night other than what generally we talked about. i doubt that someone relating an event much later would remember, either. However, your comments have value and I will certainly consider them in my future writings.

And who cares about the loving, kind hearted and supportive husband who loved her more than his own life (everyone says that but in this rare case it was true) went back to a pier on the Delaware River after work one summer evening and shot himself in the head, so his family could not give him an open casket at the funeral...

Hey not one of us is perfect but tell the truth and let the proverbial chips fall where they will

Reads like a list

This is a fantastic story and just reminds us a lot of babies are conceived at beaches. This is the story of how I got to raise strangers’ babies. My wife,Janet(37) and I(35) were just a little older than Jack and Tish when this happened. Janet and I had been married for two years; second for me, third for her. Janet had two sons, 19 and 17. Janet had gone back to college [Hofstra] at age 33. Janet’s last semester spring break was approaching. Janet had become very good friends over the last two years with the six other people in her education study group; two guys (Mark and Kim), four girls (Amber, Madison, Heather, Olivia). None of them had ever been South for a spring break. The Friday night before the start of spring break, at Kohls (students favorite bar) the group including Janet made a pact to go to Daytona. The group would take two cars and take turns driving. The plan was to camp on the beach. Janet told me and the guys at Sunday breakfast. The plan was the four girls in one car and Janet and Mark and Kim in the other car, and leave from campus Wednesday after class and drive straight through. That Wednesday at noon when Mark and Kim agreed to let Bruce and Steve ride with them. So off Janet went with four guys. Janet had always been able to handle her alcohol as in wine. But for the ten days she was gone it was gin, vodka, tequila, bourbon, and beer. The group arrived in Dayton early Thursday, set up camp and slept till nighttime. Then the parties began and according to second hand reports (Janet refuses to talk about spring break) Janet in er string bikini was a big hit but refused sex. As a resut of refusing, Janet was targeted by a large group of guys from one fraternity and they administered Rohypnol the rape drug multiple times. Amber said over the ten days Janet was a virtual prisoner of the fraternity and was fucked continuously. One of the guys had a very long cock and Janet’s IUD stuck his penis head and while she was passed out, he pulled her IUD out. Janet returned home dehydrated and confused, but recovered. It was not until almost four months later that Janet realized she was pregnant. Nine months following the spring break Janet delivered fraternal twins, one boy, one girl.

I want tô fill a pussy with a Lot of cum too.

and women get all bent outta of shape when a man asks for a paternity test, and don't say that they don't, shit Maury Povich has made a career out of it

Good story.

Hey Anonymous that shared his story. Dude, I'd have dumped you wife so fast.....she might have been given date rape drug. But she put herself into a position for something like that to happen. My wife would never go off like that alone with friends or not like that. Your story is as bad as some of these unbelievable stories.

I don’t like stories where the husband is too stupid to know what would happen to his wife when left alone with 2 studs hovering around. And why would a happily married woman just let two strangers have their way with her.

Why would any woman go through with the pregnancy with the almost certain likelihood that her husband

was not the father? I mean, did she want to stay married, or not?

Oh he will find out, that is a guarantee. 100% a fact that he will find out