by VictorBlum
Poor dialog, jerky delivery, not properly edited or spell-checked, not proof-read, and so not sexy or absorbing, no stars.
I don't think I've ever read a story that takes a nose dive off a cliff of ecstatic, erotic heights into a cesspool that swift and abruptly.
Bravo.
The story gets a 2 for all the easily corrected errors that you were evidently ok with. Knock a star off for ass play, knock another off for male ass play and you get nothing.On second thought, the strap on in the guy's ass gets 2 stars removed so you're at a -1. A black hole swallowed all your stars.