All Comments on 'Beautiful Pt. 02'

You know what they say about not being able to pick your family. She has a bunch of assholes. I really hope she doesn't get hurt in this new relationship because I have a feeling it would kill her. Great story. 5*

What a screwed up family. The dad is great, but mom and brother and his wife are terrible. Something tells me that this will get messy before it is over. Paige said the girls family were religious, I wonder if the girl is Paige? She told Melanie her last date had not been good. Just something that crossed my mind, time will tell if am right. Thank you JCMcNeilly for sharing this one. I agree with others who commented about this one feeling better than Unrequited. 5 *

Your writing is superlative as usual, but this is your first story where I’m having serious difficulty continuing. Sadly that’s because you write Helen and John - two abhorrent monsters - with such truth and clarity. I know this will turn around, but, in this one reader’s the beautiful first time Melanie shared with Sandy was overpowered by how awful her family treated her.

You have said this is the most personal story for you, and that breaks my heart. I have compete full faith that you will put it back together with your always lovely words.

I'm so excited to see the next chp, some continuation issues but still get a 5 from me. If you want a proof reader, I can help. I work with one other author helping to edit.

Sublime. I had tears.

This just keeps getting better and better. Just perfect.

I adore your stories, Hero Worship is one of my all time favourites on here. This story however, as I said after reading the first chapter is a masterpiece also!

It's making me so emotional reading it and I feel so much empathy for Melanie and literal anger towards her family (Mother, Brother and Sister in Law). I feel like she might be 43 year old, but inside there's a scared little girl, who's just looking for acceptance. Sandy and Melanie are absolutely perfect for each other & I really feel that we all need a Sandy in our lives to hype us up, tell us how beautiful we are and make us feel accepted and loved.

I'm sure that there's going to be some sort of show down/confrontation and that Melanie will finally stick up for her self, I look forward to I happening. I also feel like her Dad is going to have it out with th family on her behalf (or at least I hope he does, I'm kind of gutted he let his Daughter in Law cut in, on his Dad and Daughter dance).

I agree with another comment that Paige may actually be the one who's seeing another girl, I wonder if the awful Grandmother is going to be vile towards ge in regards to that.

There's so much depth to your main characters and I can't wait to learn more about them.

I'm waiting on tenterhooks for the next chapter/s 😊. This incredible story is already so emotive, I feel like all of your avid readers will agree in saying that we hope Melanie gets what she deserves, she seems like such a beautiful-kindhearted soul. And oh my word, she's a Mother who'll clearly fight for her children.

As always 5 stars from me ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Another beautiful chapter. This is written perfectly. My one issue is that, at least on the "beta" mobile site (idk about other versions, this is just how I read it) there were no scene breaks, so there are a few jarring moments, like going from Mel buying a dress to the Perries cheering Adrienne on at the game. Something like a line of asterisks some authors use would have helped. Otherwise, on the story itself, I have nothing but praise. This story is absolutely building wonderfully and I can't wait to see more

Very nice, thanks. I see a couple of potential upsets coming down the pike .. but I think Melanie, and Sandy and Paige will come out ok in the end. I’m looking forward to the next chapter.

god i want to punch renee/mom/john in the face

i’ve only had paige and dad and sandy for a day and a half but if anything happened to them i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

WOW!! I need to petition the powers that be to let us award more than 5* to stories as good and well written as this one us. Topping off one of the hottest stories my wife and I have read in a while, you had to throw in Clayton's 'Wonderful Tonight' Perfect choice, J C.

Please continue. Dad I hope is loving and oblivious. I fear he is actually supportive of his vicious wife and her social climbing sons.

Actually, I'm glad that the brother said she didn't need to come anymore to these gatherings, until he spouted his venom about how 'ugly' and 'embarrassing' she was. In a way it's true that these things are all about 'image and perception', so why would you torture yourself to go those these events for a brother you are not even close with and apparently can't stand you? I'm even surprised her mother pushed her to go even though they have such an awful view of her. But it hurts, that they can't look passed this image-thing and can't give her some slack. This family has definitely something a dysfunctional relation with food, even her brother shows signs. In a way it's also funny because her mother is always belittling her and saying her how she should behave, also about making sure Paige stops with playing field hockey and she's always let down. But she doesn't understand she's fussing over things she has no control over. In a way you could say she's trying too hard, although her approach doesn't bear fruits at all, either the opposite happens. I would be totally happy if Melanie learns to stand up to her mother and other bitches and takes more and more decisions based on her own feelings and thoughts. Like it's time to become independent, (like her mother said), with the support of a caring lover. Hopefully, her new lover gives her room to do it herself and doesn't take over, like 'protecting' her from all evil. Looking forward to the next one, drama is ahead!

Wow! Loving this so far. But I’m so gutted by Melanie’s low self esteem and the self-deprecating humor. I hope she can allow herself to be loved by Sandy and know that she is worthy and deserving of that love. But fuck her c*nt of a mother and her brother.

Sandy is the best friend, coach, lover, therapist, family that Melanie could ever have dreamed for. I can't wait to see how the rest of the family heals, or at least deals, with their love.

I, too, found the discontinuity around the dress fitting to hockey game jarring, and wonder if perhaps you inadvertently left out a paragraph or two.

Wow, her family (excluding her dad, of course) are even more massive pieces of shit than I thought. Melanie just needs to cut them off at this point, they were absolutely horrendous to her at that dinner. But hey! She has Sandy, and her children. That was a great lovemaking session, the visit to Sandy’s was just emotional in general. It was great, can’t wait for part 3!

My partner’s family was equally abusive. The level of brainwashing a child into believing that parents are to be respected and obeyed no matter what is sickening. Melanie’s mother strikes me as a full on narcissist, only looking at those around her, even her children, for what they can do for her. Sometimes other sibs are taught to treat the abused child as they do. Considering Mom shows Melanie’s boys preferential treatment over Page, I’d say John was likely raised that way. It took years for me to get through to my partner that even parents don’t automatically deserve respect, it still has to be earned. Eventually she was able to erase, or at least minimize, many of the old tapes that had played in her head, and we had a healthy and happy life together. I’m sure Sandy will be that person for Melanie, and while the party and the family’s actions towards Melanie angered me as much as others, I took comfort in seeing how her bond with Sandy pulled her through. This mother from hell makes the one in Nanny Sarah look downright tame. A lot going on in this story, and you’re doing a most excellent job letting us see through their eyes

I loved that Mel stood up for her daughter in front of her mother. I can only hope she can learn to stand up for herself. I'm sure when her mother learns of this relationship, there will be an immense explosion. I'd love to see Mel and Sandy happy together.

“So much more than okay” captures this storyline and characters. Know there is much more to come and I am on board waiting. I could chart a course, but would no way measure up to where you’re taking us.

Melanie needs to tell her Mom and her sister off, wow what a horrible racist family. Sandra and Melanie are happy and I’m sure there’s going to be a chapter when Sandra gets to tell her Mom where to get off

Melanie and Sandy should be involved in John's campaign. For his opponent!

Beautiful pt 3 Sandra the girl hockey coach and Melina she getting tired of her mother and brother

Great story.What total shits Melanie's family are.As if the poor woman doesn't feel insecure enough.They just make her feel worse.I feel like telling them to get stuffed big time. Can't wait for the next chapter.5 stars from me.

Twowayman62

Wonderful characters, looking forward to seeing how her kids cope… 5 stars.

Man if i was her id tell my Dad that im sorry and i absolutely love him but that I will not be coming around again as long as that woman, wouldnt even call that bitch my mom, and that asshole, similarly wouldnt call that fuck my brother, are around and then i would tell him everything they said and did during that party. I really hope that by the end of this story the mom and brother get whats coming to them. I dont even want it to be a case of they realize how shitty they have been and change how they behave. No i want some horrible shit to happen to both of them

I don't normally read Lesbian stories, but the title caught me. I did enjoy the story, being down to earth, with believable situations and characters, and a touch of bitchiness thrown in. Two lines stood out, "My ex-husband's cherry-red mid-life crisis." And "Our waiter chose that instant to drop off the check, breaking the energy of the moment." Been there! However, I cannot see a good outcome for Sandy and Melanie, it's bound to be a rocky road ahead. Looking forward to the next part. I gave it a four.

<3 So good!

part 2 was better than the first they reall deserve each other . It is truely great readingthis story and cant wait for more chapters

well done hope you submit the next chapter soon ill be waiting thanks again be safe happy and well a fan shayne

I agree with the Lions comment below regarding her Mom and brother. My one comment would be that as much as Melanie has issues standing up to her mother where her family is concerned, I believe her empathy should not let comments like the one about the hair dresser pass without a rebuttal. Still got 5 stars and really enjoying the story so far.

Dr beulahthemick; Amazing story, Melanies family certainly are a group of arseholes, but the brothers `red' tie explains a lot, all involved with the fat orange man baby's Grand Old Bigots party. I do hope that when mum, brother and sister-in-law discover her new friend and lover, that her father doesn't turn out to be a shit as well. Personally, I also think that her daughter is one of the girls on the hockey team that is gay as well. Well, written, engaging and magnetic, more soon please, five stars naturally.

An interesting family dynamic going on here for me,a retired psychiatric nurse,of a family picking on one of their own and belittling her to fit their own warped world view of what is a so-called perfect family,and how they should act and behave in the public eye.I've been involved with a lot of domestic abuse cases,where the abuser seems to need the victim to be someone they can rant on emotionally and,on occasion,physically.Why the abuser can't just walk away and find emotional fulfillment from another partner,rather than continue their tortuous behaviour,I did often wonder.Maybe having Melanie in the family gives her mother and brother a way to feel better about themselves,and their nearly impossible standards.Terrific story,superbly told,and a credit to it's author.

This chapter creates a lot of conflicts for me. I like the character development, but I’m afraid I feel like you’ve painted yourself into a corner. Unlike Unrequited, where a few months of therapy were (believably) enough for the MC to resolve, I feel like Paige will be a college junior before Mel gets enough therapy to be free of her families’ malevolence. I don’t see dad as an able support. I don’t trust Sandy to stay true to her threat to quit (although I hope she does in the shit show that is surely coming). I know it’s porn and like super hero movies, that implies suspension of reality to some extent to enjoy it, but it feels like the scene has been painted too bleak to resolve in a sports season! Looking forward to seeing how you do it!

What they said! True assholes her family, how she managed to stay alive to this point is a miracle. Her daughter is a wild card when things get public. We trust Melanie will be there for her. Despite her (failure of a) role model, Melanie is a great mother and it looks like she will make as good a lover. Time to flip that district!

Combined all the evil mothers/stepmothers and you wouldn’t even come close on how much I despise Mel’s mother. She is just evil. My hope is that Sandy is strong enough to help Mel build her confidence to defy her mother and get thru what is about ready to happen when this woman and brother catch wind their relationship. Wonderful 2 chapter!

You dropped a lot story on us. Melanie's mom is a first rate asshole (we drop the 'r' in the states) and the brother is right up there with his mother. Such a family should be taken out and shot. (figuratively, not literally). Her Dad is clouded by his love for his wife and will not see the problems of his family. I think her dad will cave if push comes to shove, and will be useless to Melanie. Sandy is such a wild card at this point. Somewhere Melanie has to start to believe in Sandy, hopefully it is a lot sooner than later. I hope Paige gets she wants and Melanie stands up to her mother. Is Paige gay? I think so, (my gaydar is problematic) and this may be a subplot to visit later. My crystal ball has gone dark and further prognostications will have to wait. Now we wait for Chapter Three.

im getting the same feeling about Paige also @Fandeboris. I fully expect in one of the coming up parts when Paige finds out her moms secret that she will open up to her mom about herself.

I am thoroughly enjoying this story so far, and I'm really liking Melanie and Sandy so far, and developing a... let's say very strong dislike of Melanie's mother :P The only bit of criticism I have for this part would be the need for line breaks between some bits... there was one where Melanie was at the family dinner, then she was suddenly talking to Sandy and it took me a couple of passes to realize the scene had changed.

Looking forward to part 3 :)

It is depressing reading about how deliberately cruel her mother and brother are to Melanie but equally comforting to see that other people can see her beauty.

i dont get why people are saying stuff like "it just seems like its too bleak to be resolved....." this is part 2 of 6 and there is drama because without it it would be boring. In every one of this authors stories there is drama that is resolved by the end so why do so many people think this is going to be any different? All of this authors stories are amazing and there is no reason to think this one will be any different. This one may be my favorite so far

What kind of family is this, the mother is a cold piece of shit, and her brother is a sad devil, I can understand that her self-confidence is at zero.

I hope Sandy can make her look brighter ahead,

excellent story 5 stars

I’m loving this story! Well, the FAMILY crap is infuriating, and all too believable. All that fear turned into cruelty. It makes the love sweeter …

I have black, vicious murder in my heart. I know they're "just" characters but honestly, I know people who come fro m families like this. I've had to fight back tears already once or twice and I just know there's more coming, and I can smell the drama that's coming too. I just know you're going to hurt and then heal us with this; I just know I'm going to hate you just a little bit for it too. ❤️ God you're good at this.

I don't feel that I need to comment further about Melanie's toxic family, but clearly there's going to be some fall out down the line.

I don't agree with those who think Paige is talking about herself. I think it is a pointer that she will be accepting of her mother's gay relationship.

What I see coming up is Sandy being accused of favouritism towards Paige because of her relationship with Melanie, and the other parents organising to have her sacked.

Melanie and sandy both have attributes that make them so loveable. Really invested already in the story already, can’t wait to hopefully see growth in Melanie’s mental health and her family to respect her as she finds her true self plus sandy get the girl. Beautiful writing as always JC, you’re one talented writer.

Please more of this story. I have nearly finished Hero Worship. when I have I will have read everything you have posted.

lol i keep refreshing every once in a while hoping part 3 is posted

Love this story. 5 stars as always.

It's my belief that Paige is talking about Adrianna.

I have read all your other stories. I feel this one is probably on the end of the list. The constant negative focus on Melanie is too much. Then we have little snippets of her getting buzzed with looks etc from Sandy. You have done much better than this.

You are a charter member of my personal Literotica Hall of Fame, the Pantheon of erotic literature. You have the most extraordinary knack for creating believable characters to whom I get deeply attached.

At the moment I am eagerly awaiting release of the further chapters, hoping that they have not gotten snagged on some technical point of administrivia.

Love all your stories and this one is no different.. Beautiful and brilliant as usual. You’re so talented and your talent is inspiring me to write more as well. Thank you🤗

Ok, her mother is horrendously insufferable, but that is the gift of a true storyteller- to write the characters in such way that makes the reader want to smack them on their heads. Really looking forward to further episodes…

Just keeps getting better and better...

I loved this story. The kindness of Sandy . The positive portrayal of women’s sports. The “ Country Club” environment and its characters were chilling. I look forward to the continuation. I really like your writing.

JS 60007, really?

JCMcN is in the "greatest" pantheon of Literotica writer-storytellers. That is Melanie's current adult persona! Our enjoyment is awaiting the development of Sandy's influence on her, how the relationship will affect her children? We anticipate Melanie's self-esteem blossoming, recovering the ability to facedown her mother, brother and sister-in-law and maybe recover her youthful body shape but the joy will be reading how JCMcM develops the whole story and interpersonal relationships.

just ignore the idiots who are like "this is mediocre youve def done better" they are just jealous that they cant write a story people wanna read

But what is taking pt 3 so long? Feel like it's not usually this long between pts.

Cant wait for lart3,4&5! Loving this story.

I cannot wait for the next chapter. While I have been waiting I have read everything else of your on this site that I had not already read. The first of your stories I discovered was "Nanny Sarah" which I have reread many times.

1. I hope you are OK

2. If you are you better have a good reason for not sticking to the plan. I have been coming back every day for part 3. Please please post it soon

3. You are fantastic! I'm loving this series as all your others works. Don't keep us hanging please

XOXO

yall the story might have just needed longer to get through the approval process and its the middle of summer, we'll get it when we get it

hope all is well!

I don't think it's taken this long before, but last time it took nearly this long for a new part, I feel like you told us you messaged lit to find out what the heck was going on. We'd like to know the story isn't lost somewhere on their servers or something

I have read stories here at Literotica for over 10 years. I have never seen a story take this long to post. Usually 2 or at most 3 days from when an author submits it, til it is up. This is going on 9 days. JCMcNeilly posted it was submitted on the 21st. I hope it is a simple glitch causing this. Like many of you, I have been checking daily for it and have been disappointed each time it is not up.

Another incredible chapter! The scene with Melanie & her mum/brother heartbreaking & can certainly see where challenges to sandy & Melanie will appear.

Honestly you really are an incredible writer.

at this point im not even sure if i give a hit if part 3 comes out. it should have been out long before now and im just over waiting for it

I think the time has come to resubmit part 3

Jeez there are some ungrateful bastards on this site.

A chapter of a free story is a few days later than you expected, no need to spit your dummies out.

And even if it never appears, this author has provided gratis some of the finest writing I've come across anywhere and I am very grateful.

Author has generously shared the story for free, you haven't paid for a single thing, so shut the hell up. You're not entitled to anything.

Chapter 1-2 were amazing. I'm patiently waiting for chapter 3 whenever it drops. Could be tomorrow, could be next year, whenever it's ready and you have free time. There's no pressure and please ignore the whiny ungratefuls.

At this point I'm becoming worried that something has happened to our wonderful author. Earlier this year, another author's next chapter was delayed and they posted on their bio that the file was corrupted and they had to resubmit it. The fact that JCMcNeilly hasn't said anything about this delay after having said it would be up within a few days of Chapter 2 is worrying.

its called an opinion, and we are entitled to have one. dont like our opinions? dont read them, its that simple

Beautiful ….. yes that fit perfect, this title ….. beautiful as in your art of writing, as in your details or your finery within Mals emotions or the lovely connection from Mel and the kids or the slow burning passion between mel and sandra …… and please write someone in to the next tale, which is kicking badly the ass from her mother and brother, jerks ….. family can break a soul and they will feeding on this laughing about ….. so give them some of their own medicine

Wonderful tale 💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋🍀

One possibility is that the author's computer has crashed and they don't have access to the internet or to their files. That could explain both the missing chapter and the radio silence.

@Anonymous stating "its called an opinion, and we are entitled to have one. dont like our opinions? dont read them, its that simple"

How asinine! How do I not read something from "Anonymous." Man up, and identify yourself! Then I'll know whom to avoid and gladly do so.

I too am concerned about the CJMcNelly's welfare.

I also am concerned for JCMcNeilly's well being. If anyone has a way outside Literotica, to contact her, could you try it and let her know we are worried about her.

GaiusPetronius I totally agree with your comment to Anonymous. I really wish that they required people to register to be able to post here. Far too many hide in shadows and post crap. Not saying every Anonymous does it, but even a few really can mess things up.

Cannot wait for part 3

i mean its pretty easy not to read any Anon messages. unless you are slow

"Anonymous" says: "its called an opinion, and we are entitled to have one. dont like our opinions? dont read them, its that simple." That is true, however it takes an amount of common sense to know when to express it, when others are concerned for the well being of someone.

I can't wait for the next chapters. Please say there are mpre. There is so much still left

Like her standing up to her mother and brother, and sticking it to Mrs.erry. The icing on the cake would be for her brother to be the one who "embarrasses" the family, as well as her father actually seeing and hearing just how awful her mother and bother are to her. Because I have the feeling he doesn't know or see the extent of ot. Great story so far.

Okay, but seriously, three weeks? What the heck is going on? Please double check that you actually submitted it when you say you did, please. I'm patient, and grateful that this story is given out for free, but there's a limit to how long the wait can be before we all get worried

Great Story so far.

As for her Mother and Brother, let's hope that Karma will return to bite them both in their asses. Who knows? Maybe John loses the Election after the Public learns what an awful person he is behind the mask.

Y’all need to chill. Something could’ve happened to the writer in their personal life. I hope everything is okay!

They posted an update! It's been resubmitted and we'll have it soon! JC is okay and was just on vacation! (I am saying this here because not everyone follows the author and thus sees the updates posted)

Can't wait for the next installment. You are a gifted writer.

This from MCMcNeilly:

I have resubmitted part 3. I had to do a rewrite on a scene, but I was on vacation and couldn’t complete that until I returned home. Hopefully my revisions are acceptable and part 3 will be up in a day or two. I appreciate your patience and am touched by those who worried about me. I am fine. 😊

What a fantastic composition by JCMcNeilly. More than mere writing, composing, a love story with all the range of human emotions beautifully described. 5 stars isn't enough.

JC, you are an outstanding writer of any genre. I really appreciate your stories! Thank you very much

There should be a six-star category for the real exceptional stories - like this one.

Terrific mutual sex! Great feelings …my type of pleasure. Well don!

More please!

Really delightful interactions and flirting between the two ladies. I love Sandy’s gentle and caring efforts to reprogram Melanie’s ingrained, automatic responses about herself and her actions.

Melanie’s mother and brother are really nasty pieces of work. It’s always good to be reminded that your true family are the persons who love and respect you for who you are, and that they are not always the same people as your blood relations.

There are a few missing breaks in-between the narrative which make the transition a bit abrupt at times. Especially the shift early in the chapter from Melanie talking to her parents to her talking to Sandy was a little bit jarring; I had to reread the passage a few times to determine where one ended and the other began, and who said what to whom. And how did Sandy touch her arm over the phone?

It’s always delightful to follow along on your characters’ culinary adventures. I would have followed Sandy on the risotto, or possibly had the Veal Saltimbocca.

Onwards to chapter three…

P.S.

Another Hall of Famer in the making!

Unsurprising I'm in love with yet another series of yours. Tragically the struggles of the protagonist remind me of my mother. She had shit family and it took my father to make her realize she was worthy of happiness. My mother was my leading champion because she knew the pain of this mindset. So sadly I'm crying a great deal reading this, tears of anger for those spewing hate, and tears for their victims.

Someone needs to drop a house on her mother. Great chapter

I can empathise with Melanie because my mum is not too dissimilar to hers. She was, and still is, a control freak and made it quite plain that she didn't like my girlfriend when I brought her home and is still harbours a grudge 30 years later. Despite me marrying my girlfriend and having two beautiful daughters. I'm glad for now, she has found love.

Brilliant second part. One hopes that Mel's mother and brother discover that family don't deserve to be treated like they are treating her. No one does. They are both coming across as hateful shrivelled up people. I feel sorry for them being so unloving and hurtful. I feel even sorrier for Mel. I'm hoping she listens to Sandy and doesn't let others destroy her. BardnotBard

I find myself trying to talk for Melanie as I am reading. This story is so engrossing, that I can picture it in my mind and yes, it makes me excited too.

Can't wait to read the next part.

Excellent writing McNeilly