by TheIrishTux
Ended too son though...would sure like to know what happens after!
Not the ending I was expecting but still good! I thought all along that he was in love with her. I would love to see more about Mark and what happens with Kira!
He got what he needed. Not a Disney ending for Mark (yet?), but that's the point, isn't it? When it was all over, though the ending may not have been purely romantic, it was exactly correct. Thank you for sharing
Great plot and interesting climax at the end. Felt I was left hanging and now I await the next episode to see where Kari and Mark go.
I can sympathize with marks situation. I stand 6'4 and cast a large shadow so fear is my constant companion. Your treated as though you can't do the simplest tasks. I fully understand how this can be based in reality. I've not had the ending he has. But all you can do is keep trying. Please write more like this.
Very erotic, sexy storyline. You gave just enough character description to make everything flow. You left unsaid many more details about the 2 protagonists and if you choose, more can follow
Thanks again
Ed
it only would have been better if the had actually said the words they both wanted to before the sex.
outstanding writing.
loved the story.
Im a sucker for a happy ending, sort of want a part 2 where he wins he forever though.
great work.
Please continue and write 2nd part.Would love to see if these to can continue from here and create a romantic relationship between them.
Love the story...can't wait to see what comes next although I think the dynamics in this relationship just changed!
The quality took a noticeable drop for me almost as soon as the sex started. Details like where their clothes went, body positioning, and quite a few spelling errors cropping up to name a few. Not *that* big of a deal to some, but to others, it really takes you out of a scene.
It was an enjoyable story until then, and yes, it ended too soon. I'd still give it four stars just for the rest of it. :)
This "coulda' " been a good story, and it "woulda", except for the massive COPOUT at the end. All through the whole story all the guy can think about is how much he loves her and wants her to love him. Then, after he finally gets her in the sack, he
realizes he is happy just being "friends" .What a flaming crock of it.
Sorry but I was not happy he ends up with this bitch. Ruined the story
Wish it was a non-erotic story without the sex. I can relate to the invisibility, and it made me cry.
Seemed like it could have been a pretty good romance but the author decided not to let that happen. I mean, after all the pissing and moaning Mark did, after he got in Kira’s pants, he figured out that their relationship didn’t have to be romantic? Makes no sense to me.
For someone who has to subsist on a Ramen diet to save money, Mark seems to have an ample budget for movies, booze and going out for fun.