All Comments on 'Becky and Robbie Ch. 04'

Fantastic story, all 4 chapters have been the best. You need to write more of this story. At least one more chapter is required to tell us if they find away to remain together. Please do not let your other stories take preference over this one.

Venus you're getting better all the time. It's selfish I know, but can you write longer chapters. These are just so short, that no sooner that I start it's over.

We have to hear about Sharon and whether or not the twins share her or Becky just lets Robbie enjoy her alone. We also need to find out if Sharon was correct and Becky DIDN'T need protection right after her period had ended, as she had said. We shall soon see! RIGHT?

Cool story, Bro.

You are a " Wordsmith "

""

She and I made love for the longest time as we ascended the high peak of our most ecstatic sexual union. ...Finally, we orgasmed together in fulfillment, bringing our ultimate bond to its wonderful conclusion.

""

...there's a lot of this syrupy, sickly sweet, yucky ick in the surrounding paragraphs, eww!

And stuff like 'Becky gasped in pain and ecstasy, the pain adding to the passion of the moment. '. Rofl. Im thinking just pain and discomfort, heh. For her anyway, maybe he's getting some ecstasy and passion from her pain, lol. Worse though, is that it's not even as good as a 'sex' scene (hardly worth calling it that) from a dime store romance novel, lol.

My brain went 'Wait, was that supposed to be the sex scene?' And my humor side said 'yeah, but it's the edited for public schools version' heh.

Anyway very dissatisfied, considering the damned buildup! Now the buildup was awesome!