Becoming Emily: Phase 01

Belle gave me her sweetest smile.

"There is. But."

As she stopped, I felt the need, as ever, to fill the silence, but she put a finger to my lips.

"Don't, little one. Let things be. They will find their level."

I saw the wisdom of that then. Later I would be astonished.

So we let it lie. We lay together, loving, pleasing each other, and becoming each of us more aware of some deep primal bond. Of course, I wanted to find a name for it, but Belle, wise beyond her years, had been right, so I let the thoughts go. Might as well capture the wind I thought.

The Sunday was perfect. We lay abed a while, and then, on a whim, took ourselves for a walk in Green Park and breakfasted at the Ritz. We spent an afternoon at the National Gallery, where I loved Belle's enthusiasm for paintings I had long loved. It was wonderful to be able to share the things I loved with the woman I loved. But the shadows of the evening brought with them a reckoning, and we lay together, kissing and caressing, both of us dreading the morrow, but determined not to spoil what became a perfect night.

Monday brought a cooler morning, and as though in sympathy with my mood, the weather was chilly and damp.

"I shall write an entirely satisfactory report my love," Belle said as we embraced. "You want to go on?"

We had discussed this several times, and I had made it clear I did.

"Whatever it costs?"

"Yes, my darling, whatever."

I watched her go with a sense of loss which made my heart ache.

How mad was this? All I knew was that I wanted to be her Emily.