Becoming Pastor's Wife Ch. 02

Erin takes in a deep breath and can feel the tears welling up in her eyes. The reality of her boyfriend speaking to her like that rattles Erin to the core.

"I can't." Is all that Erin can muster meekly.

"Seriously? Erin? Wow. Okay then. Have fun at Elevate. We are done." Matt says before turning and bursting out of the office and to his car to drive home and pack up his things to go to his grandparents house.

As he leaves and the door shuts behind him, Erin takes an audible deep breath in before sobbing uncontrollably as she collapses onto one of the chairs with her head buried in her hands.

Alan couldn't help but be shocked by what he had seen. Young love was always so fragile and yet to see it be eviscerated so easily left him a bit stunned as well.

All that Alan could muster was, "Erin, I'm so sorry."

Handing Erin the box of tissues from his desk, Erin took four and tried to slow down the flow of tears, "That all just happened so fast. I never would have imagined he would react like that."

Alan walked over to where Erin was seated and pulled a chair up to be closer to her but still maintain a distance, "The reality is Erin that every person who does something worthwhile is told by so many people that it can't be done. I will always love Matt because he is my son. Nothing he can say will ever change that. However, Erin the reality is God has called me to start Elevate Church, to start my podcast, and to even work on a book. I know it seems daunting right now but this will be an incredible church. I want you to be my assistant and the social media director of Elevate Church. I know you are still in school but I know volleyball will be wrapping up soon so then you will be able to invest more in this time wise. In the coming weeks I know this foundation will be laid for this church and you will always have been the first person to join the staff."

Wiping away the tears, Erin lets out a reassuring smile, "Thanks Alan."

The rest of the afternoon is spent with Alan crafting his letter of resignation to First Baptist, Erin helping Alan pack up his office, Matt departing for his grandparents, and Alan and Erin sharing time together.

After many hours together, Alan loads up his truck and offers Erin a ride home.

Erin accepts not wanting to wait for her parents to arrive at church to take her back home.

As the truck rumbles down the road Erin says, "So what all is next for you this week?"

Alan ponders the question, "Well, tomorrow I will be reaching out for a school gymnasium to rent, staff for music and youth pastor roles, sound equipment, chairs, trailer for hauling everything with my truck, logo design, and if I have time get the house ready for sale. Should be an easy Monday."

Erin can't help but giggle at the dry remark. There was something so easy about the whole afternoon. She was still sad about Matt and their breakup and his meltdown but something about being with Alan on his day of major life change too brought back the life in Erin faster than she thought it might, "Sounds easy."

Alan smiles at Erin, "It does, doesn't it? Also, you need to help me get going on social media as fast as possible. I want to document everything we do in starting this church. I just have this big idea of Elevate being this amazing story one way or another. I have had a book idea bouncing in my head for years that I feel like I need to write now before the church launches as the guidebook really to the next chapter of my pastoral life. We have to get to work. Thanks for helping me today."

As the truck pulls into her parent's driveway, Erin can't help but be very impressed in the new man Alan has become. He has drive and ambition beyond anything she could have imagined.

Erin exits the truck and smiles at Alan as they depart for the evening.

Upon entering the house, Erin was greeted by her parents and they asked Erin to come sit in the living room with them.

The house had a very distinct 1990s style to everything, Sandy was a bit stuck in her ways as a homemaker and Mom. Paul didn't much care about the house other than anything that might affect money.

"Erin, honey how was your day today?" Sandy asked as Paul and her sat in their own recliner chairs as Erin sat on the couch.

Erin said, "It was good. I mean...there was a lot going on today with Alan getting let go and Matt and I having a fight and breaking up. Alan really does have some incredible plans though for Elevate Church and all of the writing and social media he wants to do."

Sandy looked concerned at Paul before looking back at Erin, "Honey, we just want to make sure everything is okay with you. We are sad to hear you and Matt broke up. However, what is all of this business about you going to work for Alan?"

Paul chimed in, "He had a lot of...different...things to say today darling about the direction he wanted to take the church. Contemporary music, new lighting, video board, social media, and all of the things he said about how his philosophies have been evolving. We just don't know if it is a good idea for you to be around him. You still have volleyball and your schoolwork young lady."

Erin was a bit confused at her parents blocking her from entering working for a church, "Wait...school and volleyball are still my focus but this all seems so interesting what Alan is doing. I feel like God is leading me to be a part of Elevate. I even feel at peace about ending things with Matt. Look, I promise there will be no drop off in my school work. I really just want to see what happens with all of this."

Paul and Sandy have a tough time saying no to their daughter. Paul says, "Look, any decline in your schoolwork and we will have to end this. We appreciate that you are wanting to help launch a church and feel good about it."

Erin enthusiastically thanks her parents and then goes upstairs to unwind for the night and get ready for the school week ahead.

The next few weeks are busy for Alan. While he was sad that Matt had decided to go to his grandparents house, Alan knew it was probably for the best at this time. Even though Alan suspected the grandparents, Kay's parents, would continue to speak poorly of Alan to Matt the reality was Alan knew Matt needed time away to reset. Alan thought back to his own childhood and the troubles he had in high school and early adulthood as well and Alan prayed Matt would come around like he did.

In the meantime, Alan obsessively rebuilt and changed his life. Alan found a two bedroom apartment close to the high school where he quickly obtained a permit to have Sunday services for Elevate Church beginning in a month. He listed his house for sale and quickly a house flipper offered him a healthy sum to buy it. Alan agreed and the sale was consummated a few days later. Alan discarded as many things as he could from his old life and made sure to furnish the apartment with a simple mid-century type of feel. The apartment was always a temporary stopgap between long term living arrangements.

Alan used as much time as he could to work on writing a book all about his theological and personal beliefs called Elevate Everything. In it, Alan takes an idealistic view of how successful he has been in his life. He writes about how he found his perfect woman and uses imagery from Song of Solomon to reference this imaginary success of Alan's as like deer in his life. In the book, he writes about having a successful marriage and how beautiful his bride is with her blonde looks and bubbly charm. The story is metaphorical, Alan's actual marriage was a disaster of sorts, but Alan is projecting a new aura of success and charm.

Alan writes about how successful he has been in business dealings and how God calls everyone to be successful through God. Of course, Alan knows the truth is that he has been mostly a failure in recent years and was a mild success before that.

As Alan writes the book, he knows most everything he is writing is wishful thinking on his part. The big house, gorgeous wife, and successful church are all things he wants but other than putting it down on paper as glorified fiction he knows those things are unlikely to happen.

Yet as he thinks about what he is doing, the thought occurs to him that for decades he has told people while preaching what he thought they needed to hear...perhaps now it was time to tell them what they wanted to hear?

Alan knows he should pause from writing the self glorified promoting book and write something more substantive. However, Alan knows he has tried that in the past and now the idea of him faking it until he makes it seems appropriate.

Alan continues to write more and more glorifying the idea that success is real for him and can be real for his readers if they just Elevate to his level.

The book demands pushing oneself to be successful as God desires. Alan brazenly calls on women to become women again and strive only to be good homemakers and to embrace femininity again like they did in decades past. He writes the only true way a woman will be happy is to put aside their worldly ambitions and focus only on the home and being the best wife she can be. Dinner cooked, house cleaned, being a great Mom, and being a wonderful lover are the virtues Alan writes about in his book.

Alan calls on the men to be true men and strive for massive success in the world. Calling on women to fully support the ambitions of their men, he also passionately writes that every man can be a total success if they strive hard enough.

Over the weeks of writing obsessively, Alan finds himself wanting to dive into this self built up lifestyle of his.

With Erin's help, he launches a social media presence and a podcast. Alan goes and buys himself clothing of a past time. Well put together clothing options cultivated from a nod to the 1950s begin over taking Alan's look. Anything that makes him feel more masculine becomes part of his style and persona.

As Alan continues to post on social media and do his podcasts, he continues to believe and propagandise his newfound ideas of how important it is for men to be true alphas.

Alan would record his podcast and pontificate about his idealistic views of how men should be men and women should be women.

Erin would help with podcast editing and however Alan would need help with social media engagement.

The growth over the weeks was better than Alan or Erin thought it could have been to start. It wasn't long before Alan was getting thousands of listens and views across his social media and podcast. Modest success but the uptick became quite intoxicating to Alan and drove him even more.

For Erin, many times the podcast was a seemingly deeper and deeper look into the way Alan viewed the world. At first Alan's views, especially those about the importance of historical gender roles, made Erin feel out of place and uncomfortable.

Yet as she kept hearing Alan make the arguments that the happiest marriages are likely to be the ones where the man earns and is successful and the woman is the homemaker she found herself understanding his position more.

It wasn't full acceptance by Erin but rather a lack of repulsion at Alan's views which might be viewed harshly by others.

What Erin couldn't resist was the passion in which Alan kept speaking about helping men and women Elevate every aspect of their lives: their marriage, their finances, the man's career, and the woman's duties at home.

As Erin would sit on a chair across from Alan as he did his podcast from his couch, Alan would dive in depth on every aspect he felt would make for a passionate and long term marriage.

Erin would listen to what Alan was saying and would find herself having momentary thoughts flutter in her mind. Little flashes of thought of what a marriage like what Alan was saying could be like.

Alan and Erin would spend a few nights a week working on all aspects of the church and on the growing social media and podcast.

Erin found herself happy to be on the ground floor of this massive project Alan was working on. Alan was thrilled to be working alongside Erin and to also build out his dream one day at a time.

During the day, Erin still had high school. As an 18 year old senior, her fall semester and the volleyball season was flying by.

Keeping up her studies, captaining the volleyball team, and working with Alan was a combination that was taking up all of her time.

Her last match as a high school volleyball player was set to happen on a Friday night. Senior Night was always a special night and it was no different for Erin. Her parents were in attendance as well as other family members. Alan also went to the match to show support for Erin.

The high school gymnasium was full as the seniors were announced one by one alongside their parents. Erin was announced last to the roar of the crowd. Erin was emotional as she was wearing the Fulton High School uniform for the last time. Her tears were happy ones as she thought of all of the great times she had playing and being captain.

In the stands, Alan couldn't help but notice the emotion Erin had as she hugged her parents and wiped away happy tears as her last match was about to begin.

As the match began, Erin was in the center of the action making play after play showing high energy and determination to use her gifts to the best of her ability.

In the stands, Alan couldn't help but also realize how well Erin seemed to command her huddle. The girls on the team instinctively rallied to each other after each point they won and it was Erin who always offered encouragement.

It was in that moment that Alan began to realize there was an incredible amount of potential in Erin to be a true leader of women.

Alan allowed his mind to wander to the potential of what Erin and him could do if they were together. The reality was that Alan knew his new persona, as his tailored slacks and shirt reflect, would be massively increased in success if he had the naturally gorgeous brunette alongside him as his wife.

Alan also couldn't help but notice how incredible Erin's ass was in the high cut volleyball shorts. Her style away from the court was certainly more cute than sexy. Watching her ass twitch and jiggle in the tight shorts gave Alan more reason to desire Erin.

The match ended with a narrow victory for Erin's team. It was a successful ending to Erin's volleyball time in high school and so she stayed extra long afterwards to chat with her teammates and soak in the moment with family.

Alan thought of going to congratulate Erin but didn't want to interfere with her parents and Erin enjoying the win. Alan's relationship with Erin's parents was mixed for sure though he felt his standing was likely better than it had been weeks prior.

Alan went home and wrote all through the night to finish the first draft of his book. The inspiration of his interactions with Erin in previous weeks and seeing her be an elite leader with other women was inspirational for Alan to continue to build out his perfect ideal of a woman. This template in his book is meant to be what the men who listen to Alan will want in their life as well.

Alan spent the rest of the weekend putting the final touches on his book. That Sunday night he sent off the draft of the book plus materials about his podcast and vision to a number of publishers. Alan knew the chances of him ever hearing back on this type of work was unlikely but regardless of what happened he was determined to put Elevate Church out there in the public view.

Alan continued to work throughout the week on details for the new church. A lease at the high school, figuring out lighting, sound, staff members, chairs, transport trailer, and many other aspects take up a lot of Alan's time while he and Erin also work on social media and podcast.

The following Monday, Alan received an email from a representative at Stone Rock Publishing. They were a top publisher who also worked with podcasters. Alan was very excited to receive the email. In the email, the representative outlined that the founder and CEO of the company Harold Stevens had seen Alan's content and thought it was very interesting.

The rep asked Alan if he would be interested in coming out to a writing conference put on by Stone Rock Publishing. Since the goal would be to meet up, Stone Rock was willing to pay for the plane tickets and hotel and admission to the conference as Alan would be meeting with Mr. Stevens. The rep asked Alan if there was anyone else he needed to be there.

Alan thought about the podcast opportunities that might exist on the Thursday through Saturday conference. While meeting with Stone Rock would be a huge deal, the reality was there would be other networking opportunities that might be very useful.

Alan told the rep that he would have one more person along for the trip. He asked for a separate room for Erin.

The rep agreed and set the itinerary for the weekend. Alan hoped the fact the upcoming weekend was an extended fall break at school would allow for Erin to attend.

Alan was excited to tell Erin the next time he saw her after she was done with school.

Upon telling her, Erin was excited about the opportunity and the possibility of what a deal might mean for everything Alan has dreamed of. However, Erin knew her parents might not be too happy about the idea of their 18 year old daughter traveling with Alan. The fact the weekend fell on fall break was very fortunate and would help the chance of approval plus the separate rooms.

When Erin went home, she knew the topic of traveling with Alan would be a tricky one to navigate.

Paul and Sandy were sitting in the living room relaxing and reading.

Erin walked in and couldn't help but brush her long brown hair behind her ear. A sign of nervousness as she sat in a faded plaid chair that had been in the living room for as long as Erin could remember.

Sandy asked, "How was work today darling?"

Erin sat up straight ready to attempt to appear eager, "It went really well. Recorded another podcast and actually got some very exciting news. Alan sent out his book and actually heard back from a publisher. Not only that but the publisher wants to meet Alan at this very high end conference they put on. It really is an incredible opportunity as the publisher is even part of the expenses for Alan and me to go."

Paul raises his eyebrows and peers over his glasses as he lowers the crossword puzzle he was working on, "Excuse me, young lady? Did you just say you are going with Alan?"

Erin knew that tone. That tone was the tone her father used when he was completely opposed to something.

Erin said hopefully, "This is such an incredible opportunity Daddy. The chance to meet with this company and also the contacts we could develop will really help the church and podcast grow. We will of course have separate rooms but this is such an incredible chance for me too. We are going to record podcast episodes with people we meet. I just really think this is something that will be a great opportunity for me. I'm even thinking of going into Communications for my major next year in college. The conference is even over fall break this weekend so I won't have to miss school at all."

Paul and Sandy look at each other with concern and Paul says, "Erin, honey, we understand all of this seems so exciting and we have gone along with this whole meltdown episode from Alan. We know that deep down Alan is a good man but honey this whole Elevate Church thing is foolishness. Alan couldn't run the church he had and won't be able to run this one either. You're not allowed to travel with him"

Erin breathed in deeply as she reeled from the words her Dad was saying, "Daddy, you just need to see. The podcast has grown a lot and we have thousands of listeners. Alan's message is hitting and even the CEO of the publishing company liked it so much. Please, I really want to go."