Becoming Who We Are Ch. 08

"I guess," Melina said with a shrug. "I don't feel any different."

"Well, you act different. You're much more sure of yourself."

"It must be the self defense lessons."

"Maybe," Julie said. "Or maybe you're just growing up."

"Whatever," Melina replied, secretly pleased at her sister's words. How nice not to be treated like a kid!

They came up to the shopping plaza and entered the pharmacy. Julie hung back as Melina strode through the small store, a pregnancy test-seeking missile.

"Here they are," she said.

"Shh!" Julie hissed. She grimaced as she looked around to make sure no one could see them. "You don't have to shout," she muttered into her sister's ear.

Melina stiffened, then relaxed as she saw Julie's worried face.

"Sorry."

"All right."

Julie stared at the selection, glanced around again, then yanked one from the shelf and scuttled to the register. She felt sure she saw a disapproving glint in the clerk's eye as the man placed the test in a bag.

"I'm glad that's over," she said as they began their journey to Mark's house. "Was it me, or was everyone staring?"

"It's you, " Melina informed her. "I don't think I've ever seen you this nervous, even before the state championship meet."

"That's nothing compared to this. At least at a meet I know I'll do my best and I'll win or lose, but either way, it'll be over soon. This may never be over. Oh, God, what'll I do if I am pregnant? I'm too young to have a baby, but I hate the thought of, of making that appointment to..."

Melina put an arm around her sister's shoulder and gave her a hug as they walked.

"It'll be okay. Whatever happens, whatever you decide, I'm behind you."

"Thanks," Julie said gratefully. "You're the best."

Mark met them at the door.

"Hi, Julie," he said with a smile. "Come on in."

"Hi, Mark," she replied, casting an appreciative glance at his athletic frame. "Melina's told me all about you. I'm really glad to meet you."

He returned her look of admiration with interest. While somewhat shorter and thinner than Melina, Julie had the same light brown hair, green eyes and firm jaw. They had both done well in the Taylor gene pool, he thought idly as he ushered the pair into the house.

"My mom left with Mary about half an hour ago, so it's just Luke and me right now," he said, obliquely referring to the purpose of their visit. "Come on in."

"What a pretty place," Julie said as they stepped into the living room. "I like all the photos hanging over the couch."

Mark frowned thoughtfully at the wall. He hardly ever looked at it anymore.

"My dad used to be big on family photographs," he said. "When I was little, I hardly ever saw him except with a camera in his hand."

"Why'd he stop?" Julie asked.

Melina winced and hunched into her shoulders. She had forgotten to brief her sister on that aspect of Tang lore. To her surprise, Mark answered easily.

"My brother, John," and he pointed at a large portrait of a grinning boy, "was killed in an accident on his eleventh birthday. After that, my dad kind of lost interest."

"That's horrible," Julie exclaimed.

"Yes, it was," Mark agreed. "John was a great kid, and my parents really loved him. After he died, everything changed."

"Well, I guess that's to be expected," Julie said slowly. "At least, that's what my psych professor would say."

"And he or she would be right," Mark said. "You know, I don't think I realized how weird my family had gotten until I met your sister."

"What do you mean?" Melina asked.

"For one thing, your parents actually smile and joke around. Mine don't. But what really got me thinking was when you had your biking accident. Your mom was upset, but my mother about went off the deep end, and you aren't even her kid. She was meaner than ever to Luke, and pretty short with the rest of us. But that's not a normal reaction, is it? I mean, you might expect her to be depressed because it reminded her of a sad time, but she was really angry."

"Did she ever get over what happened to your brother?" Julie asked, slipping into psychology student mode.

"No," Mark said sadly. "She never did. It's like her life stopped on that day and she's..." He paused, thinking of how to say it, "...alternated between marking time and being mad at Luke ever since."

"Why would she be mad at Luke?" Julie asked, mystified.

"He's John's twin."

"You'd think she'd treasure him all the more."

"You'd think, wouldn't you? But Luke and John are what's called mirror image twins. That has something to do with the way the egg split. Anyway, that means all the things John was good at, Luke isn't, and vice versa."

"Oh," Julie said after a few thoughtful seconds. "I see."

Mark regarded her thoughtfully.

"Yeah," he said. "I think you do."

They heard the clatter of shoes and looked over to see Luke descending the stairs.

"Hi," he said to Melina as he glanced toward the other girl.

"Hi, Luke," she answered giving him her sunniest smile. "This is my sister, Julie."

"Hi, Julie," he said, barely meeting her eyes.

"Hello," she said, putting some extra warmth in her tone as her mind noted his slumped shoulders, downcast expression and general air of expecting a blow to the head.

"Come sit with us?" Melina suggested, patting the sofa beside her.

He shook his head.

"Nah. I was just going to get something to drink. You want anything?"

"No, thanks," Melina and Julie said together.

"Okay," he said and shambled down the hall out of sight.

"So do you want to, um, go ahead?" Mark asked Julie.

A surge of anxiety rose in her. She tried to control her heart's sudden acceleration.

"Sure," she said, her level, calm voice covering her inner turmoil.

"Melina, you know where the bathroom is?"

She took the hint and led her sister to the bathroom. As Julie stepped inside, Melina pulled her back and gave her a swift hug. Julie clung to her for a moment.

"Good luck," Melina said.

"Thanks." She made herself walk forward, then closed and locked the door.

Digging the box out of the bag, Julie regarded it glumly. She did not really want to do this, but somehow, Melina had made any other course of action impossible. Julie frowned a little over that. Since when did Melina tell her what to do?

She sighed, realizing she was trying to talk herself out of this. Her hand trembling, she ripped open the box, resolving to get on with it before she chickened out. Tearing the paper off the test strip, she followed the directions exactly, laid the strip on the counter, checked her watch and waited.

An entire flock of butterflies fought to escape from her stomach as she stared at the strip. Oh, God, what'll I do, what'll I do, what'll I do? She closed her eyes for a few seconds, opened them, then rubbed her damp hands on her jeans. The faucet caught her eye and she turned on the water. Washing her hands would kill at least fifteen seconds. She lathered them thoroughly, rinsed them comprehensively, dried them mercilessly. Unable to stand the suspense any longer, she checked her watch. Two minutes! She fixed her gaze on the strip, saw one line appear, and grabbed the box for further guidance. Closing her eyes, she counted to fifty in Japanese, then looked at the strip again. One line.

She sank to the closed toilet, put her face in her hands, and sent a prayer of thanks to God. One line meant she was not pregnant. Her abdomen began to churn and she hastily undid her jeans and flipped up the toilet's lid.

She emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later with red eyes and a smile. Melina leaned against the hall wall, waiting.

"Well?" Melina said hesitantly.

"No baby," Julie whispered, and flung herself into her sister's arms.