All Comments on 'Becoming Who We Are Ch. 09'

In contrast with "Gold Mountain", this story has a happy ending, so it's really American/Western style, huh? ;-) I would have liked to hear more about Pete, and what he did after being dumped by Melina. Still, 5 stars from me on the good story and the writing style.

I am a little confused. How did this story end up in first time.

It was a good story but would have preferred more details there seems to have been a rush to end it

How difficult it is to be a parent or a child. Very powerful chapter! I'm glad that Luke survived. Luckily, his brother was there to grab him before he fell into the abyss.

5

Awesome

This has been a remarkable resolution to a poignant story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

Congratulations on a great achievement, Van. This novel has been a throat-gripper from start to finish with a wholly believable cast of characters: the good, the bad and (at times) very ugly. They certainly triggered a whole range of emotions in me. In turn they made me hopeful, angry, pitying... you name it... I'd also suggest that you could get an epilogue story from this, set perhaps ten years later, to explore how the characters' lives changed. I hope you get the readers' acclamation that you deserve.

First, I generally dont like stories that are in installments. Too many times I have strted reading them only to have them stop and never finish. Second ,in reallity thiss should have been under "non-erotic".Third I am happy that it wasnt labeled tha way s I most likely would not have read a really fantastic story that I hate to see end. Thank you. 5 star all the way.

Excellent story!! Captivating!!

That was a great story and an impressive amount of writing. It all came together at the end. I wish the bully was punished more though. Thanks

Wow. Powerful piece of story telling.

Great story, great writer!!! You have an immense talent as a storyteller and that is a must for me! You had me eagerly waiting for the next chapter, please keep up the excellent writing.

Luke’s mom was a grade a bitch throughout this whole story. I wish you would have spent a little more time on Luke’s recovery as that was the biggest plot point in this story, in my opinion.

Good series!

Heartwarming and emotionally successful.

But , can we kick the bully a few more times please.

A very well told, emotional tale. Excellent work.

I wouldn't have read this story if it hadn't been posted in First Time. You write very well. 5 stars all the way.

Please dont let this end it's too good of a story

You did a great job of developing the characters. Then, you developed a wonderful plot and wove in several interesting supporting plots. You wove a dramatic theme into what could have been two very interesting romantic/sexual themes. But then, instead of developing those romantic/sexual themes, and continuing to the dramatic theme to resolution, you decided to wrap the story up by tying a ribbon around it and topping it with a "they all lived happily ever after" bow. That was very disappointing. I was rapt by your story telling ... right up to the point where you decided to abandon the story and cut it short. Why didn't you continue to develop the romantic/sexual themes between Mark and Melia and between Luke and Shelly until they actually had some sort of climax? Why didn't you follow the story of what happened to Jeff and his gang of bullies? Why didn't you expand on these families healing over time (if they did)? It was very disappointing to have you declare this to be the final chapter without bring resolution to any of these questions. You had a great story going, but then you decided not to finish it and left your followers hanging. It could have been so much more.

I Really enjoy it 5 stars but please finish the story you have more to do

...to this dramatic tale. Of course, it became much more dramatic with Luke being beaten up and then attempting to take his life. It was a good thing Melina and Mark came to his rescue. I was glad that Luke's teacher brought the news of Luke's writing achievement to the hospital, for Luke's sake... but more for Mrs. Tang's sake. Although her "come to Jesus" moment seemed abrupt, I imagine that having a son or daughter try to commit suicide would be a wake-up call to a lot of people. And I did very much enjoy the way things ended for Luke... including having Shelly back in his life. I am hopeful that this has brought true healing for him, and his family. :)

Enjoyed every bit of it and the resolution as well. I believe this was written some time ago, not particularly for Lit. , and not pursuing the romance and possible sexual themes didn't detract from the story in the least. I do love "happily ever after" stories as we don't seem to see enough of them in life around us. Thanks for writing and sharing. Great job!

Loved every chapter! I confess it's a bit frustrating that Jeff got away with the attack on Melina, but real life can be that way too. There really was no other way Mrs. Tang was going to be redeemed for the way she treated Luke, was there? Well done all around.

Thank you for taking the time to read Becoming Who We Are. Given its themes, it was a bit of risk to post it here, and I appreciate every reader who stayed with it!

I am working on a new novel, Year of Yes, in which a few of these characters will make cameos. The novel is set in 2021-22, and I think you'll be happy with what happened to Luke between high school and now.

Hugs, Van

Great story but really this should be in a high school short story competition and not Literotica. Got suspicious early when his mothers dreams of first love skipped any sex like a G rated story would. Kept readings as a good story but in the end frustrating. The story did not have to be X rated but at least R for this site.

Good story overall but there is no first time, wrong category.

This story touched my soul as no other on Lit has. As I mentioned in a comment to an early chapter, 50 years ago, Luke was me. Harridan mother, distant father, bullied extensively, the whole package. I came within an ace of writing his suicide note more than once. Happily, I lived long enough to be redeemed by the unlimited love of an amazing woman. Even better, she’s still with me all these decades later. You have a real gift. I eagerly await your next story with some of these characters, set in present time. Love really is the ultimate cure. I hope to find Luke doing well in 2022.

Thank you for sharing this sweet, loving family story!

Very much like me I was the fat kid that got picked on. Young brother was the tuff athletic one. My stories were oral and not written. Biggest difference was our parents though hard working and loving. Funny about those fat kids sometimes when they are juniors they get taller and they become the biggest kid in school. Never got picked on. After that. Never got in a fight even the teachers treat you different. Great story

I agree with others that this should've been on the non-erotic category.

That aside, I assumed the "Gold Mountain!" story being a tragedy would've been reflected in the larger story and it would be a tragedy as well. Overall it was a solid story that was incredibly well written, but I couldn't help but wonder why it got such a happy ending?

What happened to Jeff? Did he go further down a dark path?

It had a little bit of an abbreviated, syrupy ending with a tragedy setup. Why set us up for Lucy or Luke to die then save them at the end?