BeeBee 01

Hi folks, I'm Bobby Brinson and I've been called BB since further back than I can remember and if you want me to serve you a beer, you might want to try referring to me as BeeBee. And bring the beer because I'm just short of 20.

Obviously, I park my truck on the other side of the street and I wish I wore one size smaller clothing, but I work on that constantly and I don't have any rolls anywhere, but I still want to slim things up a bit. My hair is dark and short, very much like a certain anime character (J.D.), so that may appeal to some of you and that may not.

I've totally learned to use Denim to my advantage and whoever invented Denim should be praised forever more and whoever redesigned modern Denim for the appearance and the shaping back there should also be praised forever more.

I'm a regular on the Middleton Strip on Friday nights, although I'm not as overly popular as some of the more flamboyant fem boys. I mean, I'm not as flashy on the outside, but I have everything else on the inside that some of want from someone like me. I think.

Now, don't call me out for this based on what I just said above, but by the time I came into my own the Strip, the Lava Java Coffee Shop had it's fill of regulars, so I found my place at the Puffy Cream Puff Shop towards the south end of the Strip, but trust me, I don't go crazy with the dreamy and oh so creamy Puffy Cream Puffs. And take my word for that rather than checking the security camera system for your proof positive of that, okay?

Um, I'm not hung up whatsoever whether I like girls or if I like guys, but rather I respond to those who bother with me and I have no issue bothering back just the same and I might even bother back just a little further than you bothered with me in the first place, but that is a work in progress, so, I guess that's that then. But the truth is, since I dress in fem, I guess you can do the math on which gender most of the bothering directionally comes from and the other truth is that I grew up playing active video games, so, well, you can do the math on that too.

But my bothering back has limits at this point in my life. I'm not a stiff prude and I may deserve being known as little more than a lip gloss smearing tease, but I'm happy that nobody can claim that they have had me in certain other ways, yet. I mean, another work in progress, right? And it doesn't make me a big prude because I'm holding off for the exact right moment, time and place. However, engaging in those conversations with people can always be sort of fun. Well, at least those "it's time" conversations can be spirited, colorful and heated.

And maybe I have an internal visual fantasy or maybe I should say I have a half of a fantasy. Occasionally I think about a situation where I'm with a couple, possibly a married couple and I'm the one in the middle, you know, like the spice boy, but my thoughts don't go much beyond that, so I don't know who does what or when it happens or who wins. So, that's that, I guess.

Other than all that, I like to conduct investigations, even though thus far I have had to make up my own investigations and I get solicited, like a lot. But when you eat as many dreamy and creamy puffy cream puffs as I do, I mean, my thighs totally fill out fishnets, tights, socks, capri jeans, skinny jeans, regular jeans, pantyhose and the list, well, that's about all I wear, so the list stops there.

So, back to the Middleton Strip. I'm too new to things to snag a good parking slot right on the Strip, but the staff in the dreamy and oh so creamy Puffy Cream Puff Shop allows me to park behind the building where they have room for my truck and this is important because it clearly says to you that I can easily fit through the thin access space between the buildings because as I said, I do not have any extra rolls anywhere and that's all I wanted to remind you about.

And occasionally the biker crew that hangs out in front of the Puffy Cream Puff Shop escorts me to my truck when I'm ready to leave the Strip, but we have an understanding and they have become my buds, you know, on the quiet. But nothing on the down low.

Anyways, if you're cruising or walking the Strip some Friday night, just glance through the Puffy Cream Puff Shop windows and give me a wave, a head nod or a wink and I'll respond. I mean, I might run out and then find out that I can't handle what your head nod meant and run back inside, but everything starts somewhere and who knows for the next time, right?

And by the way, just to circle back a little because I have the feeling that a few of you are already thinking that my ass is fat, it's not like my ass flies sideways when I peel off my Denim that I rely on for shaping! It goes poof. But just a little. And maybe you like a little poof, you don't know yet. So, if you think my ass is fat, it is not. And poof is not the same plump.

Now, for the technicalities. Because I park directly behind the Puffy Cream Puff Shop, that's technically in the alley, so, technically, because of a few escorts and other visits, I have been in the alley behind the Strip with a couple of guys. Technically. But not biblically. Yet. But I'm not a prude!

Anyways, as for my activity on the Strip, I mean, tighten your seat belt for boring. I mean, my spot, the Puffy Cream Puff Shop closes at 10pm and there are not too many people in the market for a fattening, yet dreamy and creamy puffy cream puff much after 9pm, so it's me and the staff mostly between 9pm and 10pm and if you're wondering, that's a friend's zone and nothing more.

And a friend's zone is legit as a practice zone and everybody does it and it doesn't matter anything about the level of practice flirting, so, it's legit.

And then there are my loop walks up and down the Strip, which I do happily, even though the rude quirky quips and questionable offers greatly outweigh the occasional pleasant conversations, but you have to make the loop on foot or you're really the weird one and I have that title well covered already, so I make the obligated loop on foot. Besides, I always have an eye open for a better spot and a better crew to hang out with, just like many others do, so. Oh, and you had better be awfully brave if you walk the loop twice! Or submit to being a boyfriend for a few minutes.

Which I have never done yet, so let's start out with my departure from the Puffy Cream Puff Shop.

Also, I use my loop walk not only for eyeing up a better spot and a little mingling, it's also my excuse for chit chatting to satisfy my thirst for any and all investigations. I mean, I have to have a subject matter, right?

"Anna Marie, I'm going make a loop, so, what's my tip out and what's the word with the MSGA then, hmm?"

Oh, the MSGA is the Middleton Strip Gossip Association amongst the shop employees, so.

"Oh, BB, tip me out about a bazillion tonight and Wayne wants a little hand stuff from you tonight and Gino wants a little, well, we all know what Gino wants from your ass, which is your ass and um, Derek is hoping for a little mouth action from your side, um, the entire crew from the Used Dinner Plates store wants you to serve their next dice game topless, so you know, the new usual. Anyways, my bazillion tip-out please. Oh, wait, BB, you might be interested in speaking with Quinn from the Hard Candy Store to the north on the Strip. But she dropped a weird note on the bottom of her post about it being a weird family thing, so keep that in mind before you sign up for anything. Oh, LOL, and Morgan from the Quirky T-Shirt store has offered to let her tits out for you if you walk the Strip next Friday twice while wearing a t-shirt that says "Prissy Sissy Kissy Queen" in flashy red lettering, so. Also, that Morgan has some boobs, so."

"Well, I mean, I'll speak Quinn because I mean, who doesn't want to get in the middle of a weird family issue, right Anna Marie? And I mean, did Morgan say anything about introducing me to cousin and introducing me as BeeBee for making her walk of death dare then, hmm?"

"Freddy? Freddy can get lucky with you, BeeBee? Or half lucky. Or a quarter lucky or whatever you have it whittled down to. I mean, for a bazillion tip out, I'll post a rely on the MSGA chat board, but it takes a while to cycle through. Also, Freddy can get lucky with you, BeeBee?"

"Anna Marie, it's just an investigation, that's all. Besides, he always posts nice things on my Chang page, so."

And yeah, yeah, yeah, folks, if Freddy thought for a minute that he would get one tenth lucky, then he would come around more on his own. And I actually nothing else to say about that. I mean, he should come around more then, right? I mean, I'm right there in the damn Puffy Cream Puff shop window!

Anyways, as I just said, I wasn't desperate enough for a valid investigation to even think about talking to Quinn about her crazy family issue, so.

[Door chimes dingle]

"Hey, Quinn, what's up?"

"Oh, BB, I'm glad you stopped by before the shop closes. Listen, sweetie, I have an odd situation going on and I know you're totally desperate for a legit investigation, so I might have something for you, but I must warn you that it involves my whacked out black sheep of the family uncle. And before you say anything, yes, I'm talking about the same whacked out black sheep of the family uncle who caused you to leave my house warming party early, but I slapped his hands away as much as I could, so?"

"Well, normally I would reject this project dead on arrival because it's a dysfunctional family thing, Quinn, but the truth is, when you took over your family's homestead on the river and had a house warming party, I mean, that was my one and only mixer, so tell me more than."

"Alright, BB, my whacked out black sheep of the family uncle has been dying and crying since I took over the family homestead on the river and it's driving me crazy because the weirdo wants and wants bad a stupid novelty old-world map wall hanging, which is cute and all and does show some water and all, but it's just a fake wall hanging map, so why is he getting so worked up about it then, hmm? I mean, that's my investigation, so?"

"Quinn, I accept the challenge! And I already know the exact list of investigation tools and equipment that we will need and it's happening first thing this Sunday morning when you crawl out of bed!"

"So, Noon?"

"Exactly, Quinn! And with bells on with coffee on!"

I mean, I knew what I had to do and I know what I needed, so I wrote a list for Quinn right on the spot, not that I used that opportunity to be seen elsewhere on the Strip, so.

"Whoa, got it, got it, got it, will get it, huh, will get it, got it, oops, wear my forest green romper and highlight my waist by adding a black belt?"

"Quinn, the entire list is important to the investigation!"

"(Pervert). And Freddy? Morgan's cousin, Freddy? Morgan is my rival! Also, seriously, I didn't see that one coming for the one who would be the first to get lucky with you. Or half lucky or however that works in your life, so."

Like I said, LOL, I knew what I was doing. I mean, when I whittle down my body just a little more like I mentioned in beginning, Quinn has the waist shape that I would target, so. Not that my body will ever do that.

"Well, I actually think I like this romper more than I thought I did and all of a sudden, I mean, maybe I can wear it out in the backyard since my new house is above the river embankments, but you're still a little pervert, BeeBee."

"Oops, did someone just call me BeeBee over BB then?"

"Shut it, perv and no damn sneaky photos either and that goes for you too, Freddy! I know how high this romper rides up my thighs when I sit or squat, so."

[BeeBee and Freddy glance at each other and simply shrug their shoulders]

"But one or two that would make Morgan jealous might be fine if posted on Chang. Anyways, seriously, BeeBee, we have to have a ceremony?"

"Shut it, Quinn! It will be short and sweet, but it's important. Now, both of you repeat after me. I swear to shut it! Go, Quinn."

"I swear I'm going to expose you some night on the Strip at the worse time possible and to shut it!"

"Freddy, your turn, so???"

"OMFG, I swear to never respond to any texts ever again and to shut it."

"Good, Freddy, unbutton your shirt all the way, but leave it tucked in and get ready to bring the heat with the lamp when I say so. Oh, and Freddy, remove the lamp shade first. Also, you haven't referred to me as BeeBee yet, I'm just saying. Also, damn it, Freddy, Quinn won't care!"

I mean, Freddy has a nice body, so.

"Is it too early on a Sunday morning for a beer? Or five? Also, is this really happening?"

Well, I referred Freddy back to our "shut it" swear contract. And then I got him a beer.

"Now Quinn, lean forward and gently pat the lemon juice dampened sponge over the back of the novelty old-world wall hanging map and be slow and gentle, but lean forward with purpose."

"(Pervert) lean forward like this then?"

"Aha, aha, aha, but with gentle pats of the sponge, meaning not as hard as the old geezers pat your butt while you working at the Hard Candy Store on the Strip, so, gentle pats, okay?"

"(Pervert.) And I suppose you want to demonstrate the perfect "pat" pressure then, BeeBee, since I'm leaning forward, which cause my loins to push back, hmm?"

[BeeBee and Freddy glance at each, grin and shrug shoulders. It has to be the correct patting pressure]

[Pat, pat, pat, women's loins rule, pat, rompers rule, pat]

"(Pervert.) Pat like this then, BeeBee the investigator?"

"Aha, aha, aha, yeah and that's aha, aha, aha, enough. Freddy, Freddy, bring the heat, Freddy! I mean, wave the lamp bulb over the back of the map like you waving a magic wand, Freddy! Oh, turn the lamp on first, Freddy. And damn it, Freddy, if you bring the heat to me just once in the alley behind the Strip, I mean, I will come back at you really, really warm!"

[Quinn and Freddy glance at each with wide eyes and then shrug their shoulders]

"Fuck!"

"Fuck, yeah, Quinn!"

"What's happening here then?"

"Spin the novelty old-world around, Quinn. The old secret citrus juice ink is being re-activated."

"Holy "X" marks the spot!"

"It's not an "X", Quinn!"

"Huh, wait, it's an arrowhead and there are more, um, lines coming forward, um, crisscross lines, um, huh?"

"Bring the heat Freddy, bring the heat! And I said that I would respond back like really, really warm, Freddy, so?"

[Quinn and Freddy glance at each with wide eyes and then shrug their shoulders again]

[Freddy brings the heat of the lamp bulb in waving magic wand fashion]

"Ooh, voodoo, do what you do, voodoo, ooh. Holy hell!"

"No, that's holy fuck, Freddy! But BeeBee, why would my whacked out black sheep of the family uncle want to know about a secret, um, um, a doghouse then? And did you seriously just unbutton and unzip for shorts, BeeBee?"

Well, with the way Freddy was bringing the heat, I mean, it was getting hot in there, so.

[All three of them glance at each other, then glance down and then they all shrug their shoulders]

"It's not a dog house, Quinn. They just decided back in the day to make water pump shelters to look like dog houses for the property appeal and since you have city water service now, I mean, the padlocks on the water pump dog house shelter may not have been unlocked for years, maybe a decade or two, so?"

"So, we're saying what then, BeeBee?"

"I'm saying that your uncle thinks he knows that something was hidden somewhere and possibly left behind and I'm saying that he wants to know where and what and hen be quick and sneaky about it! But like a lot more-sneaky than Freddy and I have been for snapping off photos of you for the way your romper rides up as you sit and squirm about, tee, he."

[BeeBee and Freddy glance at each and grin and then shrug their shoulders]

"(Perverts). Anyways, so other than I think I am about to make an appearance in my backyard in my "indoor only" romper, what else are we saying then? And if this pans out, well, we'll see."

"Quinn, first I'm saying that Freddy needs to completely remove his shirt and then go find a big hammer from your garage. And then I'm saying that yep, we are headed to the back of your new river cottage house and Freddy can just keep his shirt off too, so."

Well, it was getting hot outside too, so.

[Pound, slam, pound, slam, pound, slam, pound, slam, pound, slam, pound, pound, pound!]

"Damn, this is a tough padlock! And BeeBee, I appreciate your support, but I don't need you hanging onto my hips like that!"

Well, at least he called me BeeBee!

"(I'm going to do this anyways soon, so) well, I'm sure we're onto to something, I mean, the map, the lemon juice trick, the dog house, I mean, this has to pan out, so, pound me, Freddy, pound me! Oh, pound the padlock a few more times is what I meant, in front of Quinn, so, bang it and pound it hard, Freddy and use both hands on the hammer!"

"Ugh, I'm going to bang and pound both of you if this pans out!"

[BeeBee and Quinn glance at each and grin and then shrug their shoulders]

[Pound, slam, pound, slam, pound, slam, pound, slam, pound, slam, pound, pound, pound!]

"Tee, he, oops, my bad guys, um, I forgot about this old ring of keys in the junk drawer, so, tee, he, then, tee, he."

[BeeBee and Freddy glance at each and grin and then shrug their shoulders with confusion]

"Oh, oh and I'm supposed to bend over slowly in this romper as I insert each key then, perverts?"

[BeeBee and Freddy glance at each and grin and then shrug their shoulders with smirks]

[Insert key, ass cheek hangs out, insert next key, no twist, insert next key, romper rides up higher, insert next key, it twists!]

"Tee, he, well that was a "duh" moment then, right guys?"

[BeeBee and Freddy, wait BeeBee was still glancing at Freddy from the last time]

"OMG, OMG, this is happening! Freddy, Freddy, get in there Freddy and start looking about and take your long jeans off if it helps."

"Excuse me, BeeBee?"

"Boxers are the same as swim suit, Freddy, I mean, get in there Freddy, bend over, yeah, ooh, is that the little space that I would fit into if we were naked and doing it, well, doggie house style, tee, he?"

"BeeBee!"

"I mean, move some stuff around, Freddy, pull on the old water pump or look for an access door and yank on the old water pipe, yank it like I'm going to yank your water pipe if this pans out, tee, he."

"Quinn, do something about this!"

"Shut it, Freddy! You want to fag fuck him anyways and I could care less, now get in there and dig around! And huh, BeeBee, you would just fit in that little space just under him while he's in this position, so, huh."

"Ladies! I'm trying to work here!"

"The trap door, Freddy, the little door, Freddy, jerk it, jerk it loose!"

"(OMG, now I'm starting to get turned on!) Freddy, jerk it, damn it, jerk it off, tee, he."

"OMFG, if this pans out or not, I'm breaking my phone for any future texts, oh, hey, wait a minute, there is something under the trap door. Oh, I think I can jerk it out."

"Aha, aha, aha, pull it Freddy, pull it like you did for me as you were returning my text because I enticed you with a photo text, Freddy, ooh, pull it my way, Freddy, pull that, OMG, it's a box!"

[Pull, plop, tries to smash BeeBee's toes with the last plop to shut him up]

"Quinn, Quinn, let one tit pop out of your romper and check for a smaller key! It's a lock box!"

[Quinn and Freddy glance at each and grin and then shrug their shoulders and one is released]

"(Perverts.) Oh, snap, I found a tiny key on this old ring of keys!"

[Oh, so now Quinn is really into the inserting and twisting of the key and shaking of her chest then?]

[Click, ooh, a heavenly glow emerges from the lock box]

"Holy grace of, wait, what am I looking at here, BeeBee, the greatest investigator ever, hmm?"