Behind the Scenes Ch. 01

Damn was I wrong.

Ever since that crush on Connor, or probably something more intense than that, I never felt a simple, physical attraction was enough. So random sex with a random hot guy didn't satisfy me nearly as much as the thought of something real and lasting. I found something like that two times or so, but it still wasn't the real thing.

Which was ironic, because after finally discovering that sex with a guy might be the right path for me I realised that I was only halfway down that path after all.

So in addition to still trying to get that imaginative feeling of content with random guys, I also took care of business myself a lot, so to speak.

I had figured out I was most likely gay, now I had to figure out for which guy specifically I had been fated to become gay. And I had a good feeling about who it was.

Despite all of this I still had a hell of a libido though. I'm starting to think my puberty will stretch until I'm in my eighties. Surely a guy of twenty-one is not supposed to have about a thousand boners a day, right?

Not that I jerk it a thousand times a day of course... two or three usually does the trick.

Thinking of wanking brought me back to thinking of Connor. And Connor's sultry voice casually dropping "Leo" still rung in my ears. The vibrations of it travelled straight to my decently sized cock, hitting all the right places along the way.

I didn't bother opening the buttons in my jeans. A groan escaped my lips as I flipped myself onto my back and shoved my jeans and underwear down, digging my bare feet into the mattress. Luckily I had ended up on my bed during the conversation with Connor. I pulled my shirt off. All my clothes landed in pile at the foot of my bed.

I was naked and ready and it took me .003 seconds to realize that no one (preferably Connor) was actually there to have fun with me after a quick look around the room.

Righty, you're up.

I propped myself up against the headboard of my bed. My phone was right there next to me, but half-naked Connor saying my name was still burned into my mind so I closed my eyes and palmed the head of my cock. I inched my left hand from the bottom of my thigh towards my hip, across my abs and then teased my nipple.

I saw Connor move his hand over my chest and I felt my own hand starting to pump my member, the foreskin pulled back over the tip. A single pearl of precum was already spilling from my slit. Connor looked me straight in the eye as he dragged his thumb over it, still caressing my chest with his other hand. He spread the drop over his thumb and brought it to my mouth.

As his hand got closer I stuck out my tongue, a smirk crept onto his face and he surprised me by putting it in his own mouth and sucking on it sensually. His eyes fluttered closed at the taste and a throaty moan vibrated deep within him. His hard-on descended onto mine and he started humping me, still tonguing his thumb. When his eyes opened and noticed my marveled expression the corners of his lips curved up.

He slowly took his thumb out of his mouth, all the while licking the rest of his hand sloppily. He brought the wet hand down between our bodies and gripped our cocks together, jerking them off feverishly. A needy sound fell from his full beautiful lips before he smashed our faces together in a toe-curling kiss. I could taste traces of my own juice as his tongue battled with mine for dominance. My hands grabbed the wonderful globes of his ass and helped him set the rhythm to our... holy shit that ass was unreal. I couldn't help but moan and-

Nope.

Nooo no. This was so wrong.

I looked down and was so relieved to see that I hadn't cum yet. I couldn't do it. I couldn't jerk off to the fantasy of making sweet, sweet love to my boyfr- no!

Connor was just a friend, and not even that. A colleague. A colleague to be. I couldn't just beat my meat knowing nothing like that was ever going to happen. It would be bad for me and for our work-relationship. No way was I going to let a crush come between me and my dream. And worse, his dream.

I looked down again and found my dick half-hard in my hand. Reluctantly I picked up my phone and pulled up the first porn website that came to mind.

"Barely legal bubblebutt femboy gets drilled by hung grandpa." No thanks.

"Garrison Rochart tries alternative sounding materials." Heck no.

"Handsome jocks muscle scat." What's scat?.. oh, oh! God NO!

I mean, to each their own, but all of those made me doubt wether I might be asexual alltogether.

So I clicked on a video with a cute guy around my age who seemed to be getting nailed by two different guys in two different holes and relieved myself within the first five minutes in a way that made it feel more like a chore than anything else.

When I shot my load all over my stomach and hand, reached for a tissue from the box on my nightstand and cleaned myself up, an empty feeling creeped up on me. More empty than usual after a jerk-off session.

How was I going to handle all of this?

Where was all of this going to take me?

And was I even remotely ready for any of it?

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Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!