All Comments on 'Being Busted Brings Benefits Ch. 07'

Just God awful.

I disagree with the direction you have taken this, it just seems, weird. I have enjoyed the entire series and quite a lot of your other work, but I just have to say I don't like this chapter

Horrible way to take the story was expecting something else

First time reader.i have to say that I disagree with the other comments

It was very good something different ! It makes

Your art very unique!!! Is there another chapter?

Started with a snotty comment about people who object to your poor editing job (really proof reading your work is the minimum you should be doing before submitting and don't bullshit about not posting for positive feedback because if that was the case you wouldn't post at all) and then took your up-to-now-decent story off on a ridiculous tangent. Whether you're intentionally showing your middle finger to your fans because you're such a child that you can't take even the mildest criticism or you just think wildly flipping your plot around without precedent is somehow good, edgy writing is irrelevant. This was a poor effort in every respect. If you want to write a story with a twist, plan it from the beginning.

The 180 in the story line is just weird. Sorry

So to the story. This chapter went dark fast. This is 1 of 2 stories i have read this month that was dark. I hope the author can bring it back out and get of kind of pay back to the father for his mother and Makayla with some great twist and finding out what happened to Makayla and his mother.

Bitch session next!

I am agree and disagree with lots of the comments from people write here, but its there opinion. In my opinion who ever wants to leave a comment needs to sign up so there is no "Anonymous". Its "FREE" people to sign up. If people have to pay for this site it would ruin this site, but there wont be any rude people on here either. That's why i signed up so i can leave comments so if the author wants to contact or comment something to me, they can. The way they come across and how they and responded to the stories and send messages to the authors makes them never write again. I have reed lots of great stories and some not so great. At least there are trying to add to the community at large and maybe even improve over time and get better. Rude commenter's should kept there mouths err fingers shut.

Well, the storyline sure took a hard left turn, and I don't know if it was for the betterment of the original storyline.

Only time will tell.

I was a bit disappointed in how the son turned into such a wimp.

Well put. I guess for some it's just easier to throw a temper tantrum.

I liked your story, but even liked you authors notes notes just as much... I am no gramatical genius but a few typos doesnt bother me nor detract from the story...keep up the great writing...

Nothing led up to these discoveries. No foreshadowing, no hints of character attributes. Suddenly, one important character is written off as dead, another barely mentioned is now a competing force with endless revelations.

This chapter feels like it was picked up by another author, who liked the source but had his own ideas, and could not wait to implement them.

enjoyed your opening comment, if you have a comment sign your name or don't read the story this isn't lit. class. enjoy your writing keep it up and ignore the anonymous assholes.

I have to say that the direction of the story has veered sharply from where it started. But I can't say I dislike where it is going because we haven't gone far enough down the road to see where it's headed.

I have to agree with digdaddyrich about the son being such a wimp all of a sudden. Maybe it is time for him to grow a set of brass balls and take his old man down. In the process he could free his Mom and sister from whatever hold the daddy prick has over them and become the new Boss. This way, he gets them both.

As to the rant at the beginning, I have to agree with the sentiment if not the reasoning. If you are going to criticise someone else's work, at least have the courage of your own convictions enough to have an user name and some way for the author to reply to your remarks. Otherwise, it is as if your just throwing out vitriol but are afraid to be challenged face to face.

5*****

M51

you sure know how to surprise me I'm wondering what you'll think up next and I hope the dad gets his because hes acting all douchey

Kickass story. The end sure Came out of left field, well written. Sure a few typos, be a good challenge for the perfectionist to submit their litterary efforts. When you get around to it write final conclusion. Tho not much left to be said. Look forward to your further writings.

Poor author. Someone had the unmitigated nerve to call attention to the numerous mistakes in spelling and punctuation, the run-on sentences and the incomplete ones, and the mistakes made with homonyms (that's word that sound alike, but are spelled differently, for those of you who don't recognize the word), and the apparently "made up" words in these chapters. The author got offended, and decided to throw a major public temper-tantrum / hissy-fit.

Poor author. He (generic use, since this author chooses to remain "sexless" as far as the Bio page entries go) blatantly admits that the only error-checking or reading for proof that occurs on these stories is what HE does. That's mistake number one, sadly.

Any real published author will tell you that one of the basic facts of "editing" a story is that - if the author attempts the edit - he usually doesn't SEE the mistakes he made in the writing. His mind actually "sees" what he INTENDED to write, regardless of whether or not that's what appears on the paper or monitor. That's one reason why additional editing staff is employed in the publishing industry.

Vince Flynn is the author of the "Mitch Rapp" political/thriller novels, which have sold millions of copies world-wide, at least half a dozen of which ranked in the top 10 of the New York Times Best-Seller list. He's been a script/story consultant for the fifth season of "24", and invited to give guest lectures to the FBI and CIA.

Vince is also dyslexic. He publicly admits that fact on the dedications page of almost every one of his novels - where he thanks his wife and two of his best friends for being "extra sets of eyes" to review his manuscript for dyslexia-caused errors prior to his sending it off to the publisher. Publishers actually HAVE staff editors whose job it is to review ALL manuscripts for ANY errors in spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc., before sending the manuscript to be typeset and printed. Those editors would catch Flynn's mistakes, but he believes that anything worth doing is worth doing both well and correctly. So he has the errors caught BEFORE the publisher sees the story.

If a professional, paid, best-selling author can take this degree of caution to see that his work is error-free, it seems to me that ANY author could at least check his work at some level. But this story's author blatantly admits to really not giving a damn whether his work is riddled with mistakes. (He's far too eager to get it out in print so that he can [hopefully] receive rave reviews for his efforts.)

Yes, the Literotica stories are published for free. But, contrary to this author's rant, we readers actually DO have the right to WANT to read stories that are pretty much free from errors. Small errors aren't too difficult to deal with, but larger ones often force us to back up and read a sentence 3 or 4 times, to figure out what the author is REALLY trying to say. When such an instance occurs right in the middle of a hot sex-scene, or an important conversation between characters, the errors truly DO disturb our "sense" of the "flow" of the story. It's rather like being in the theater, watching a movie, and someone in the row in front of you has a major coughing fit that drowns out some dialogue lines. You think, "What did I just miss,

here?" And the flow of the story has been at least temporarily derailed, for you.

Oh, someone may get a bit of geography wrong, or some science, or an historical fact. That's to be expected, because it's often difficult to write about places you've never been or time-periods before you were alive.

But spelling and grammar? If you're writing in ANY of the major word-processing programs, the software has routines to check both. Spelling errors are red-lined, with grammar errors called to your attention in green underlining. If a word isn't in the very extensive dictionary included with these major programs (Word, Pages, Star Office, etc.) it's underlined as at least misspelled. So words like "cumulated" ought to show up underlined in red. Whether the author meant "cumulative" or "accumulated", both words show up in the list of suggested replacements provided by the word-processing software, if you simply right-click on the underlined word.

If you have problems with homonyms (such as "you're", "your" or "to", "too", and "two", or "peak" and "peek" and "pique"), then you need to use another person's eyes to scan for those mistakes. That person is called an "editor".

And so, Mister Author, either start correcting your own mistakes more carefully, or submit them to an independent editor for proofreading. But, if you insist on simply tossing them out onto Literotica in order to have readers posting "Wow! Great Story" reviews (and you ARE doing this, or you wouldn't bother crafting these tales, let alone publishing them!) and not caring to check for your mistakes, do not throw a public hissy-fit when someone else calls you on the carpet for your gross errors!

You are an idiot. The word cumulated is an actual word and used perfectly by the author. It means to 1. to heap up; amass; accumulate. So next time you try and find fault with some ones writing and word choice have the common sense to look it up first so you don't make yourself look stupid.

I really appreciated your story until this chapter. I like violent or very nasty stories but I didn't have that feeling for this one. For me it was a love story between a mother and a son. There was the Maykala (or what's her name) challenge so they realize their true feelings.

And then, the father's coming and the story died. Out of nowhere the super mafioso kind of father comes and changes everything. The characters are out of character and a love story becomes a slut mother story with a slut half-sister.

I don't mind a few grammar mistakes (I'm french so I sure make some myself) but a massive change of direction in a story, I hate that.

I don't know if it was your plan or you just did it because you were pissed off but you ruined a perfect good story for me.

Well, usually any comments posted by the author at the beginning of the story I ignore. I read it to see if there has been a warning about certain content that some people find distasteful but this time I came back from chapter 8 to read it.

Yes, you can tell those who are being picky about grammar and spelling to suck it. Yes, you can suggest that if they have nothing better to do then they can go read someone elses stories.

No, we don't have to do either.

If the stories started out with poor grammar and spelling and was consistant in that I would forgive the errors.

You author are well versed and well writen. It shows in your stories.

I like how you changed the plot to add an unseen twist but I find the errors to be distracting. I do not read these stories just as stroke material, if I did I would find stories from another author who doesn't build as much into the plot.

Please write more stories of this calibre to entertain those who enjoy it. I know that most good authors will write the stories of what they like, so obviously you, author, must enjoy the theatrical plot twist that you employed with this one.

The detractors are often those who seem to have nothing better to do (not judging the critics) but they do know good stories as well.

Please try to find an editor that will work quickly with you to be able to publish something not only entertaining but readable as well.

Thanks for putting up with our criticism and our comments. Some of it is meant to help since we like reading your stories.

I must of taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque....

Unexpected ending. I half expected rod Serling to walk into the last scene. The darkside jingle actually did start playing in my head. Was this ending in your outline, or just made up as you go? I'll leave the spelling/grammatical errors alone as they are comparatively low as far as literotica stories go. What really happened to the girlfriend and the mother? The father was very vague right up to the end. Did the kid know his father was in the mob? Eventhough you raised a lot of questions I'll keep reading. As for your 'rant' you have to take the good with the bad. Everybody is a critic. I've been there.

I liked the first six parts but this section is where you lost me.

Seriously pissed off about the direction the author took this one star rating

Serious took a wrong turn and lost me with how mykala was treated like peice of trash nobody and no remorse for her from anyone. At this point i am rooting for the dad.

Trying not to be one of the anonymous grammar nazi bitches you rightfully smacked down a couple chapters ago, and just sharing what I find disappointing about a fic that was developing in one direction one moment, and then suddenly turned into a totally different story the next.

The story is well written, the sex generally pretty good, but the people are scum.

His dad is obviously mafia or something, and David is a conscienceless prick who consigned a girlfriend to death without so much as a word of protest.

Both of them getting blown to bits would create zero remorse for me. Generally it's not a good sign when your readers give zero fucks about your protagonist.

No idea how a "motherfucker" story turned into a "heartless shitbags taunting their family members" story. Wonder if Stasha knows... or cares?

I guess that's the price that you pay when there are no tags or story descriptions.

Can I suggest you preface the story by saying it has a dark side to it?

J

Surprising twist that with great writing could make an interesting story. Keep it up - I know I am.

Great read I would spell check without bitching about the mistakes. I would add size and things like that cause they are always curious lol. Don't let the Haters get to ya, they obviously have NO LIFE. Thanks for taking the time to make it enjoyable read.

Way to ruin a fuckjng story you cuck

You might as well have just started this chapter with they all kill eachother n an orgy murder suicide. Like one minute im reading tom sawyer. Then it just randomly turned into lord of the flies. Thats how fuckimg dumb this was. Youre invested then all of a sudden someone changed the channel

As a romantic, this story is done. This is still a good, interesting story but whatever romance, intimacy and love between mother and son that had developed in this reader's mind is now dead. The authors' rant at the beginning of this chapter may be justified. I never other's comments. This couple/authors have written a flaws, complex story with logically intertwined plots. The stor is/was believable. TLike real people, the characters are complex beings within the narrative. Psychiatrically, psychologically, and emotionally, these characters have the same, sometimes unrecognizable , flaws as real people. In this story, as in real life, the reader is shocked, angry, sad and feels somewhat betrayed but continues on because he/she has no choice.