Being Jim Ch. 08: Lightning Strikes

About that time three or four other students exited the building and descended the same steps that we were on. They were talking amongst themselves but quieted as they went by Kathie and I then picked up with whispered giggles and a couple of laughs further on as they went down the side walk towards the Whitehall classroom building. Kathie and I watched them go before returning our gazed to one another.

Kathie giggled a bit herself as she drew in her bottom lip again. Oh God that is so cute! I thought to myself. But the spell was broken and the real world drew us back to the here and now. I smiled self-consciously at Kathie trying to think of something witty to say. But once more I was saved by her and her vibrant captivating personality.

"I will have to set this evening's experience aside and save it as a separate sample set. I would however like to... gather some more data... at another time maybe." She said and l watched as her eyes danced with glee and one eyebrow arched questioningly. I might be slow, I might be freaking blind sometimes but I could not miss her open invitation for me to kiss her another time, perhaps several more times. I think I forgot how to breathe as that realization sank into my slow-moving brain.

I must have looked confused or conflicted or something as Kathie's smile faded in uncertainty, her eyes took on a worried expression as her head dipped a little to see if my eyes were responding and to check if anyone was home in my head. That must have done the trick because I kind of snapped out of the trance I seemed to be in at that moment. I literally gasped as I sucked in oxygen for the first time in almost a minute. The goofy smile returned and I blinked rapidly a few times and tilted my own head a little shyly.

"I think I would be a willing test subject for any... research... you might like to do." I finally said sheepishly. Kathie's eyes lit up again and her smile brightened with a show of teeth even. Her hands gripped my arms as she leaned in and gave me a quick little peck on the lips before straightening back up drawing that bottom lip in again and glancing away a little self-consciously before returning her eyes to my own.

"I'm going to be doing some research for a class in the library all this next week. If you don't see me in the student center or on "Phone" I'll probably be there somewhere... or at home with my mom..." She added a little more somberly as her smile faded just a few watts as she shrugged slightly. I couldn't stop myself from reaching out with my right hand and softly stroking her left arm from the elbow to her shoulder and back to her elbow. I gave her a knowing sad smile and nodded my understanding.

"I think I can find a reason to go to the library myself." I said with a brighter smile and let one eyebrow rise a bit. "I have an early class in the morning, then I work the dinner rush at Dom's but I don't have to close so I'll be off sometime around nine tomorrow or earlier depending on how busy or slow it is. I'll also get my schedule for next week." I told Kathie as we resumed walking towards our vehicles. It wasn't until we stopped beside the driver side door of her big Ford that I realized that we were holding hands. Kathie turned to me once more, now on the same level pavement she was just a bit shorter than I so she turned her face up to look me in the eyes again. I lifted her hand in mine and placed it against my chest over my heart.

"Kathie... Thank you." I said with a soft but serious voice. Her brows knitted and she tilted her head slightly to one side.

"Why are you thanking me?" She asked genuinely puzzled. I shrugged then explained.

"I was taught to be thankful for any gift given to me or act of kindness. Just you... just being my friend was special and I have been meaning to tell you that but this... Wow!" I spoke still in awe of all that had happened both in meeting this woman and our budding friendship and then tonight with her kiss. Kathie's face was turned up slightly and the light from the nearby streetlamp shone in her eyes as she smiled at me. Not a grin but her lips parted and her teeth... slight overbite and all shone pearly white.

"What if I wanted... more? More than just friendship Jim? I've not felt this way before, not even with my last boyfriend. I think of you all the time now and I just want to be around you... with you... I... I know that you..." She stopped speaking and closed her eyes as her face lowered slightly. Her smile vanished and that bottom lip was drawn into her teeth as she censored her own words before continuing.

"I... I know that you still love that other girl... Michelle... I think you always will. But I have a feeling that you heart is big enough to care for another. I've seen the kindness in you, I've felt it. Would it be awful of me to want to be part of it too?" With the last words, Kathie let her chin rise slightly and her eyes opened searching deeply into my own as I stared into those smoky grey brown windows of her soul. The openness and sincerity were obvious to me, as was the longing and hope.

In the back of my mind, some small part of it anyway, all that I knew about her was playing back like a recording. Her story, the sadness, the loneliness and then the joy and happiness I've seen the few times that we had been together. I also couldn't help but to think of my own happiness and joy that I felt just being around her as well. I could feel my heart swelling in my chest even as the lump in my throat grew to choking proportions. I swallowed, once... twice. I blinked, once... twice... three times. Then swallowed once more before trying to speak.

"I am happy to call you my friend... Kathie..." I began and I could see her face begin to fall as her eyebrows quivered and dipped slightly, her bottom lip trembled almost microscopically before being drawn into a forced smile... albeit a sad smile.

"For you to be more than that would be almost too much for me to dream of let alone imagine..." I could see Kathie's eyes begin to shine as they began to pool with what had to be tears.

A pang of guilt shot through me as I realized that she was taking my words out of context and assuming I was turning her down for some reason.

"Kathie... more than happy... I'd be honored... if you would like to take a chance on me and my broken heart..." That was as far as I got though as my lips were suddenly being smothered by hers. Somehow, in less time than a breath, Kathie's arms shot up and around my neck pulling me into her... or herself into me... whatever, the result was more fireworks.

Her lips were energetic to say the least, I think I even was probed by her tongue a few times as my arms instinctively wrapped around her waist and held her firmly against my own body. At some point I realized that I was tasting salt and it puzzled me until we finally pulled back to breathe once more. Searching Kathie's face, I saw that while it was shining happily, her cheeks were wet from the tears she had shed. She must have noticed my scrutiny and giggled a little self-consciously as she wiped her eyes and cheeks with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

"Sorry, I must look a mess... I'm just so emotional." She blubbered nervously while still beaming that million-watt smile.

"Never apologize for being emotional. If it's real it's okay. I was just worried that... well... tears... I just can't handle it when a girl cries, especially if I think I might have caused them." I admitted sheepishly. Kathie swatted my chest then tilted her head to one shoulder as she often had before.

"You really are special Jim. I promise you I will try to show you how much that is appreciated, if you let me." She said in a soft voice, if a little coyly. I had to wonder how exactly she might do that but shrugged internally as it was something else to be discovered about this magical creature before me.

"You don't have to do anything special for me, just be yourself, that's all I'll ever ask of you." I said earnestly as I gripped a little more firmly her hips in either of my hands and shook her slightly from side to side to emphasize my words. Again, she smiled brightly and nodded her head slightly as she blinked her eyes closed slowly to acknowledge my words.

"So, you'll join me at the library tomorrow evening?" She asked and that bottom lip got drawn into her teeth again. Oh My God! How can any guy deny something so cute?

"I will, but I'm still not sure exactly what time I'll get off work." I said by way of confirmation.

"Still have my number?" She asked.

"Yeah, I have it in my wallet." I admitted.

"Then call me at home when you get off work and we can meet up then." She suggested with a wink.

"I can do that." I said with a goofy smile of my own as I watched Kathie's eyes crinkle with glee. I watched her head tilt down slightly again and that bottom lip get drawn up and bit lightly.

"Jim... I really do need to be getting home... but... one more?" She nearly whispered, almost holding her breath. Now I might be slow sometimes but this time I was ready. Maybe because I was thinking the same thing... funny that.

Instead of a verbal consent I merely pressed closer, my hands on either side between Kathie's hips and rib cage. Gently but firmly, I lifted her torso drawing her into my chest and her lips into mine. It was a soft sensual kiss, our lips brushing softly, savoring the contact and the electricity. I let my tongue lightly brush her lips but not force beyond them... I nearly swooned as I felt Kathie's tongue do the same and there was one fleeting contact, the tips of our tongues brushed then retreated as if shy.

Of course, that's when we both drew back to breathe once more. Maybe it was me, maybe it was a new fire fanning to life between the two of us but Kathie's eyes were decidedly smoky after the last kiss. Her smile had transformed into something dreamlike... a warm relaxed closed mouth smile both on her lips and in her eyes. I could feel myself melting from the inside out.

"You'd better get going... Or I am going to pass out standing right here... You've taken my breath away." I spoke and even in my ears it sounded like I was in a dream.

Kathie only giggled a moment then winked and turned around and opened her car door. As she slid into the seat she hesitated and said "Call me..." and with that she closed the door started her engine and glided off into the night.

I stood there on the curb outside of the Patterson Office Tower and watched her taillights fade. I felt as tall as that tower behind me for some reason. Only after I couldn't see her car any longer did I take a deep deep breath, and let it out in a long slow sigh. I turned and floated to my truck and got in and drove home to the farm. That feeling of floating never went away the whole drive home, or even after I got there and made my way to bed. I think I slept that night hovering over my bed by a foot or so and for the life of me I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

I dreamt that night. An odd dream, or maybe several one after another I'm not sure but they stuck with me after I awoke the next morning. I had taken to writing down what I could remember of my dreams a year earlier for a philosophy class exercise.

The object was to list and possibly find recurring elements and then try to determine if that was a real memory or a construct by our subconscious mind. I never did get much out of the exercise but reading back through some of my dream recollections certainly raised an eyebrow now and then. I'm sure a psychologist could have a field day with my notes but I never shared them with anyone.

Eventually I stopped recording them all together but at this time I was still writing them down. When I awoke the next morning, actually before daybreak for a change, I grabbed my pen and notepad from my nightstand and turned on the lamp. Curses from across the room from my brother were mumbled as he pulled his blanket over his head and rolled over away from the light. I propped myself up on one elbow and began writing.

I was trying to make a delivery, a pizza of course, but I couldn't find the address. I didn't have a name or phone number to call and the store was too far away to drive back to. The time was running out on the order and it was going to be late. It was dark and raining and I couldn't see any house street numbers. There were lots of people walking up and down the sidewalks though, some waved, some shouted that I was going the wrong way, most just ignored me as the clock ticked down.

Then I saw my store like a beacon in the night. I stopped and took the pizza bag inside and they were getting swamped from all the orders, the make line had a curtain of pink order slips hanging and the phones were ringing non-stop. Jules was on the ovens turning and loading and pulling finished pizzas out to box and cut them and put them on the delivery rack. "Jimbo! Get a move on buddy! That order is going to be late!" I told her that I couldn't find it and I couldn't call them to get directions.

"You already have the number Jimbo... and you know how to get there, you're just driving in a fog... It's okay buddy. You can do it." She said then turned back to the ovens to tend more pizzas. I grabbed the pizza I was to deliver again and ran out the door once more only to find an old dinosaur of a push lawn mower on the curb. For some reason I knew I had to get it started or the front yard wouldn't get mowed... the Teachers were really counting on me, and Michelle to get the yard mowed but where was Michelle? I set the pizza aside and began pulling the ripcord to start the mower, over and over and over.

Jules opened the door of the store and shouted out at me "Let it go Jimbo, it's okay, let it go!" I dropped to my knees beside that old mower and bowed my head not wanting to admit defeat. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and it slid up to my neck. I heard a whisper in my ear even as the rain fell on and around me soaking me through to the bone. "She loved you Jim, but you already know that. They both did, Michelle and Penny. I know you loved them and you always will... In your own words... Remember the Joy." I didn't have to see who it was to know it was Maggie's voice.

A warmth radiated through her touch and through her words. In a moment or two... at least in my dream anyway... the rain stopped falling and I found myself straightening up but I was no longer bent over that old dinosaur of a lawn mower, now I was bent over the engine compartment of a big Ford Crown Victoria. I felt a hand lightly on my right elbow and I turned to see Kathie standing before me, smiling with her arms open inviting me in for a hug and the look in her eyes said kiss me. That's when I woke up.

As I finished writing the last words, I clicked my pen and closed my notebook and rolled back over to stare at the ceiling over my bed. I wasn't really seeing the ceiling of course, I was watching two sets of eyes dance on the ceiling as they looked back at me. One a pair of blue green gems with gold flecks in them and the other a bright shiny set of smokey grey brown. The blue green eyes faded away first but the smokey grey brown ones lingered a bit longer.

My subconscious mind was speaking to me with visions, I think. My heart was pounding in my chest but strangely it was a pleasant feeling for a change. I snapped out of my reverie when one of the roosters crowed. Yeah, some things on the farm rarely change. I got up and dressed and went to tend the animals, even that damned rooster. Later I cleaned up and dressed for classes and grabbed some bacon and toast on my way through the kitchen to leave for my drive to town and school. Mom actually commented on my smile, though she didn't ask me to explain it.

I parked at the stadium and made my way via shuttle bus to campus then to my morning class. I just made it before class began. Honestly though, I might as well have not even shown up as my mind was anywhere but in that classroom that morning. Well... other than watching the clock wishing it would move faster. Eventually however, it did move and the class ended on schedule and I gathered my books and headed to the student center. I picked up the daily paper and then got some doughnuts and a container of milk. After finding a seat I opened the paper and started eating my two doughnuts. Again, my mind just wasn't in it, every time someone walked by, I looked up half expecting to see Kathie. Sadly, it was never her.

Once the doughnuts were gone and the milk emptied, I folded up my newspaper and decided to at least do something productive in the little time I had left before I had to go to work. I headed over to the library and looked up a couple of articles for the research on a paper I was writing. Again, hopefully, I searched the faces of everyone, or at least every girl that crossed my path in the library. Still no Kathie but then that's not so unusual, I just realized that I was now somewhat obsessed. I smiled to myself thinking that it's a good feeling though.

I collected my quotes and footnotes for my research but it was time to go to work. I packed up my book bag and slung it over my shoulder and headed for the shuttle bus stop in front of the Chem Physics building, the closest one to the library really. I had just ambled up to the bus stop shelter when I heard a horn blare behind me on Rose Street. I turned to look and saw a big old light green Ford Crown Victoria gliding to the curb and behind the wheel was a cute long curly haired girl with the biggest smile on her face. My heart swelled when she waved to me excitedly. I leaned down to look through the open passenger side window.

"Hey stranger... need a ride to the stadium?" Kathie asked with that irrepressible smile beaming brightly.

"That would be great." I said with a smile of my own.

"Well hop in. I was just headed that way." She added with a giggle.

I opened the door and slid in putting my book bag in the floorboard and drawing the seat belt across me to click it closed. Kathie checked her mirrors then pulled back out into traffic and we headed on down Rose street towards Limestone. I told her if she turned left onto Huguelet drive she could get on University drive and it would take her right to the stadium. She grinned at me and followed my directions and muttered. "Show off." ...and then she giggled and winked at me. In a few minutes she pulled up in front of my parked pickup truck and stopped. I looked at her... well... honestly, I had been looking at her the entire ride over to the stadium. My mind cataloging and imprinting every detail of her profile and face. My ears savoring her every word and sound she made.

"Thank you... How much do I owe you for the ride?" I asked only half teasing.

"Oh, it might cost you a lot." Kathie quipped with an equally facetious lilt in her voice, her eyes shining with mischief. "But I'll have to think about it... I'll let you know this evening... maybe. For now, however, I think one will do." She said letting one eyebrow edge up her forehead.

"One what?" I began a little puzzled... Kathie's expression turned from a facetious grin to a bit of a pout of disappointment and then it registered in my slow brain. "OH! Okay!" I said with bashful enthusiasm as I leaned across the seat closer to her. Her pout vanished and her eyes half closed as she let her lips be bussed gently by my own. Softly brushing and pecking and rubbing. I drew her bottom lip in between my lips and then released it. Kathie gasped slightly and drew back to look me in the eyes. Those smokey grey brown orbs seemed to glow from within, even as she squinted her eyelids half closed and murmured.

"Oh... okay... I changed my mind... I think two...yes, definitely! Two..." and she closed her lips on mine once more and with a hungrier feel to it. I detected her tongue probing and tickling my lips and was about to respond in kind when from behind us a horn blared impatiently. A little startled we both drew back a little embarrassed but smiling like a couple of teenagers. I sighed and grabbed for my book bag and started to open the door.