Being Jim Ch. 08: Lightning Strikes

"Hey, only the best for us starving college students." I quipped and chuckled a bit under my breath.

"Well at least it's only a snack and not a real meal. I'm not really hungry anyway so maybe just something a little salty... those crackers look good. You get a couple bags of those and I get us a couple of cans of soda... any preference?" Kathie asked as she half turned to look at me still holding that pose with her hand on a hip and a finger to her lip... but there was laughter in her eyes.

"Anything other than diet will be fine for me... a Doctor Pepper if they have any maybe." I said with a shrug as I dug some quarters out of my jeans pocket and began inserting them into the coin slot.

"Cool, I'm not much into diet sodas either... nasty after taste." Kathie said as she too dug for some quarters in her jeans pockets. I dropped coins and made the selection twice for the whole wheat crackers then collected the bounty from the tray behind the swinging door at the bottom of the machine. I heard one can being vended as I collected crackers and another drop as I stood back up. With our snacks in hand, we left the vending room and walked down the hall to the elevator once more and waited for it to climb back up to the third floor from the first floor. As we stood there waiting, I began to chuckle which got a funny look from Kathie.

"What's so funny?" she asked curiously.

"What you said earlier when someone asked what kind of snacks we were having... "Noneyas"! That was hilarious!" I said grinning and still chuckling a little. She smiled at me and shrugged.

"Well, it was... none of their business." She said as the door opened for the elevator. We both stepped in and I pushed the button for the second floor. It was a short ride down one floor and soon we were both seated side by side in the computer terminal room where Kathie had been working earlier. Instead of turning the machines on however we opened up our snacks and half turned to face one another better. I bowed my head and said grace silently for a moment before I opened my can of Dr. Pepper. As I took my first sip I glanced up and noticed that Kathie was looking at me curiously her own can of Dr. P halfway to her lips and her eyebrows were knitted as if in thought.

"What?" I asked wondering what she was pondering.

"I've never seen a guy pray before eating snacks." She said as if it were the strangest thing in the world.

"I give thanks for all kinds of things... Nothing in this world is a given except for death and taxes." I said with a shrug.

Maybe it was the company but the whole wheat crackers turned out to be pretty good. They had kind of a nutty taste with a hint of salt. They might have been better with a little cheese, but they were perfectly fine by themselves too. As we sat and ate our crackers and sipped our sodas we talked and yes even flirted a little. I was very self-conscious of doing so as it had been so very long since I even had the desire to flirt with anyone.

Sitting up close and personal, just the two of us I found myself drinking in all there was about this lovely young lady. Kathie's figure was slim but by no means frail, she had the physique of a swimmer, maybe a dancer or a little of both. I marveled at her thin almost delicate hands and fingers, thin yes but sturdy, even strong I suspected. It was after we had powered up a couple of terminals and both of us logged onto "Phone" that I got a look at those fingers in action as she typed. I felt my heart do a little flip as I couldn't help but make a mental comparison of Kathie's flying fingers on the keyboard with those of Michelle so many years ago. I had to take a sip of my Dr Pepper to get the lump in my throat to go away. Damn! Why is life so hard sometimes?

A voice in the back of my mind spoke up... oddly it sounded a lot like Jules for some reason. "...what if it had been you that died... would you want her to never experience love again?" I would want Michelle to have been happy... and I know deep in my heart that she would want the same for me. There will always be similarities, there will always be reminders. Remember the joy and learn to love again. So, with a deep deep breath I mentally shook off the feelings of remorse and let out a long sigh and smiled sincerely at Kathie as she made a quip about something one of the guys had said on "Phone".

I don't know how, but somehow someway Kathie noticed the change in me. She actually did a double take when she saw me smiling at her. Her head tilted a little to her right shoulder and she gave me a sidelong glance with her eyes crinkling a little as they half closed, and she smiled that smile again. No teeth showing but those lips drawn out into a beautifully pleasant smile then just before she turned back to her monitor she drew in her bottom lip and her eyebrows rose in silent speculation.

We goofed off playing around and chatting with everyone on "Phone" for a little while longer but then we both realized that it was getting late and we needed to be heading home to get some sleep. Kathie and I made our goodbyes online and then made our exits. After shutting down our terminals we gathered our books and I picked up our trash from our snacks. After depositing the trash in the garbage can by the door, we walked down the hall to the elevator. Both of us were smiling sheepishly and feeling awkward I think, I know I was dying to tell Kathie I was happy to be with her and that I wanted more. I could feel those butterflies taking flight again and it was all I could do not to fidget as we waited on the elevator.

Kathie on the other hand appeared outwardly calm but I suspected she was feeling the same as I as she did that little twisting rocking thing that so many girls do. Standing still but twisting back and forth at the hips her arms were crossed at her chest with her hands tucked under her arms. And that bottom lip of hers was tucked in her teeth like she was trying to keep from saying something. The furtive glances between the two of us would have been comical at another time. We rode the elevator down to the first floor and then I walked Kathie out to her car.

"Where did you park Jim?" Kathie asked me as we reached her big old Ford.

"I'm over behind the library, it's not too far away." I said trying not to toe the ground beneath my feet like a country bumpkin in an old cartoon. I stood there with my left hand shoved into my jeans front pocket and my right holding the strap of my book bag hanging from my shoulder.

"Jim... Thanks." Kathie said while doing that twisty thing again after putting her book bag in the passenger seat of her car and closing the door. I cocked my head in obvious confusion.

"Thanks for what?" I asked truly perplexed and caught off guard. Kathie just smiled and tilted her head down just a little so that she was looking up through her lashes and a few strands of that curly long hair that had blown across her forehead. The word adorable sprang to my mind and I caught my breath.

"For just being you silly. You are a truly nice guy, and I'm so happy that we have met. I haven't really made any friends since we moved to Kentucky, but I know I have now. You." Kathie said softly tilting her head to her left shoulder a bit and puffing a breath of air to blow the hair out of her eyes. Those big bright grey-brown eyes that seemed to bore right through me. "I feel... I don't know... I just feel right around you. I know it sounds weird but it's true." She said her voice trailing off softly as if she were afraid she had said too much. Again, that bottom lip got drawn in as she studied my face for a reaction.

"I don't think it sounds weird at all, and I agree... I feel the same way about you. I can't explain it either, but it just feels right. I should thank you. You have gotten me to open up and talk about things that no one else even suspected about me. Would I..." I shook my head and thought better of continuing out loud the thought that had entered my brain just then. I wanted so badly to simply wrap Kathie in my arms and give her a hug, but I wasn't sure how she would react to that or think about it. I was elated that she considered me a friend and that in itself was precious to me. Kathie rolled her head to the other shoulder and looked at me questioningly.

"Would you what?" She asked with her brows knitted slightly, her twisting motion halted for a moment.

"Nothing... just an errant thought... a brain fart maybe." I said sheepishly and bit my tongue. As I grinned slightly. Kathie's eyebrows relaxed then climbed slightly as a light came on in her eyes. A light that I would come to recognize and both welcome and suspect as mischief in the making.

"In that case... could I ask you for a favor?" She asked with that shy smile as she began twisting ever so slightly again.

"Sure. You can ask anything. If I can, I will help." I said not really knowing what I was opening myself up for.

"Well, you know that I've not dated anyone in years, and I know that you are in a similar situation so to speak... Jim... It's been so long since I've been held by anyone or even hugged anyone. Would you feel weird if I asked you for a hug?" She asked in a rush and the twisting stopped again as if she were holding her breath.

I was stunned. I think my jaw dropped open and I could have been catching flies or maybe moths since it was nighttime, but to say I was surprised would be an understatement. I think I even stopped breathing for a moment or two myself before I stammered a reply.

"S... sure... I..." Was all I could get out before Kathie literally leapt onto me. Her arms went around my sides and her head buried into my left shoulder as she squeezed me so tightly, I'd have thought she were trying to wrestle me or something. After a surprised heartbeat or two I wrapped my own arms around her and returned her squeezing hug albeit a little more hesitantly perhaps. I couldn't help but to gasp and get a little choked up, it just felt so good... so right... so very very right. I almost laughed when after a moment or two... maybe it was several minutes I don't know I was lost in the sensation, but I did notice that both of us were now doing that silly twisting motion.

Then it happened. I thought I crossed the line when out of simple reflex or instinct or whatever I turned my head, and I kissed the top of Kathie's head right in the middle of that unruly curly hair of hers. I felt Kathie stiffen and freeze in my arms for a moment then just when I was about to panic at my foolishness and try to utter an apology, Kathie took a huge deep breath and sighed and squeezed me even tighter. I heard her sniff before she pulled herself apart from me. I think I was still holding my breath and frozen in place as Kathie raised her right arm and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. The smile on her face was genuine and made me want to melt however and I finally breathed again.

"Jim don't say a word! Thank you... thank you more than you might ever know." She said smiling and practically bouncing on her toes as she blinked rapidly and damn if she didn't draw that bottom lip in again as she smiled and cocked her head to one shoulder giving me that sidelong glance again. "I've really got to go but I will be seeing you again soon." She added as she began backing around the front of the old Crown Vic still bouncing on her toes and rocking side to side hugging herself.

"Okay... Take care and be..." I began but Kathie finished for me.

"Careful... I know. You too Jim. See you soon." She said as she opened the driver's door and climbed in to start the car. I waved as she put it into gear and glided off into the night. I stood there rooted in the same spot still trying to understand what had just happened. Oh, those butterflies! The puzzled expression on my face was slowly replaced by a goofy grin however as I turned and walked off towards the library and where I had parked my pickup truck earlier that evening.

Over the next week or so it seemed that I ran into or more often than not was found by Kathie on campus between classes or while getting something to eat at the student center. Her presence was welcomed and always enjoyed. We talked about classes and of course the antics of our friends on "Phone" on the computer. Kathie even sat in on a couple of study groups and shared pizza or snacks with us.

I think my group was just as enamored with her as I was, even after we discovered that she was observing our little group for two reasons. She explained that one was that she needed to observe a small working group for an assignment that she was working on for one of her sociology classes and the other was she simply wanted to get to know me and my friends better. Of course, my heart swelled when she revealed this not only to me but to my small group. I couldn't begin to describe the feelings I had when she looked me straight in the eye while saying this to the others... her words only told part of the story, her eyes spoke volumes more directly to my soul.

It was later that same evening, after my study group broke up and everyone logged onto "Phone" for a while. Kathie or Kat as she went by on "Phone" made her goodbyes saying that she had to be getting home to her mother. I too excused myself as I actually had an early class in the morning and I needed to get on home myself. We were both in the Patterson office tower on the mezzanine using the computer terminals there that evening so both of us had parked just outside the building for a change.

I walked Kathie out to her car. It had rained earlier in the evening for a little while so the steps down to the drive were still wet as were the leaves that had fallen from numerous trees around the building. Now it's a known fact that fallen leaves and rain on pavement make for slippery conditions almost as bad as ice. Kathie found this out when we were about halfway down the steps. Her right heel stepped onto a few of those sodden leaves and as her weight came down on the heel it shot out from under her and she began to fall.

I happened to have been on her left side in step with her and when she began to fall, I grabbed her left arm at the elbow with my right hand and kept her from falling hard on her back or worse hitting her head on the steps behind her. Instead, she merely touched down with her bottom on the offending slippery step. The feeling of falling must have given her a start but she recovered fast with an embarrassed giggle as she stood back up and dusted off her backside.

"Are you okay?" I asked hurriedly and with concern in my voice. Kathie's sheepish grin seemed to answer my question before she even opened her mouth to speak... but her eyes held something else entirely. Her eyes went wide after she stood back up and backed up a step so she was one or two steps above me now and our faces were practically nose to nose.

"Uh... yeah. I think I'm okay... just a little embarrassed." She said distractedly as she continued to look at me with that odd look in her eyes. Deep in my gut and even my heart registered that look far sooner than my mind. My brain took a moment or two to catch up but eventually it dawned on me. I've seen that look before, a few times but most notably from my soul mate that was taken from me far too soon. Some part of my mind registered that I was still holding Kathie by the elbow even though she no longer needed my assistance.

I also realized that Kathie's face seemed to be growing... no... not growing, coming closer. Her bottom lip drew up into her teeth for a split second and she blinked once, twice then her head tilted ever so slightly to one side as our noses just touched side to side. I felt a tingle on my lips as hers touched them with a feathery lightness. We both paused, drawing back just a bit, our eyes locked and hesitant as we both looked for something in the other, acknowledgement, permission perhaps? All I saw was acceptance and willingness and maybe desire.

Definitely desire... Kathie's eyes half closed and then our lips were pressed in a soft sensual kiss of exploration. Her lips felt electric and silky at the same time. Kathie's right hand was on my left forearm gripping me tightly, her left hand was splayed on the front of my chest on my sweatshirt. Time stood still. I'm not sure how long our lips were pressed to one another but we both pulled back eventually to breath, but only just so, our foreheads were still touching and our noses still brushing one another.

I'm not sure who was more stunned or surprised or excited but when Kathie exhaled her breath came out in quivering little gasps. Those eyes were wide open again and I fell into them. The light from the nearby streetlamp behind me to my left, her right, reflected off her eyes. They shone from within as well. My mind was both a blur of conflicting thoughts and at the same time calmed and at peace.

I know it sounds contradictory but that was how it was. Maybe it was my heart and not my mind that was calmed, but I suspect it was only part of the feeling as my heart was racing and if asked, I would have said that it was swelling in my chest as I stood toe to shin, head-to-head looking into those eyes of hers, sharing her breath... lips nearly touching yet.

"K... Kathie... I... I..." I began but was abruptly cut off by her soft lips once again pressed to mine and I felt her hands take hold of the sides of my face. I also realized that my own hands were now resting lightly on her hips as our lips danced and caressed one another. Once more we had to pull back to breathe, both of us nearly panting as our hearts raced. This time it was Kathie that found her voice before I did.

"I had a feeling that you might be agreeable to this but I suspected that you would be too much of a gentleman to actually start it, Jim. I hadn't planned this, tonight, but somehow it just felt right. I hope I haven't gone too far or too fast for you." She said as she swallowed and her soft smile quivered slightly as did her voice.

"Yeah. I mean no... I... uh..." I stuttered at first then shook my head to clear the cobwebs and the smoke from the fireworks going off in my brain. "I was kind of surprised is all. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it but yeah, I am still kind of shy and... well... slow I guess." I half mumbled as I felt my face heating up even as Kathie's hands slid up and down the outsides of my upper arms.

"So, you thought about kissing me?" Kathie asked with a wry little grin and one eyebrow arching questioningly as she drew that bottom lip into her teeth again. I reacted with a goofy embarrassed smile of my own and shrugged slightly.

"It's been a long time since I felt like kissing anyone but I still didn't know how you might feel about it... and well... I wouldn't want to ruin a new friendship... with my curiosity." I spoke quietly breaking eye contact for the first time as I turned my head away as I felt a touch of shame. The feel of soft delicate fingers gently touching the side of my face and turning it back towards Kathie was almost startling. The look in her eyes as I reconnected my gaze with them was warm and inviting.

"Jim, just so you know, from now on it's okay. A kiss could not ruin our friendship... and well... maybe I like how you kiss. I think..." She said with an increasingly teasing smile as her head dipped down a bit and tipped to one side slightly and she began that slow twisting back and forth motion from the waist up. It was almost hypnotic, like a living metronome.

"Just 'maybe'?" I asked still feeling like I was holding my breath and my mind reeling from Kathie's actions and now her words.

"Well, I'm not sure really. I mean it was only one... okay maybe two kisses. That's not really much to go on. I might need to sample your... technique and skill a bit more. You know... to gather more data before I make an empirical determination. I must say though, I am intrigued so far. I hope that because it was unexpected that the first... results... aren't misleading." She said as her grin grew even brighter.