All Comments on 'Belinda Rose'

What an awful dragged out story. It was disjointed and hard to follow.

Scores 2/5

Constructive criticism: I'm no writer but I can at least give you feedback as a reader.

I really liked the way the story slowly built-up the tension. It kept me reading in anticipation BUT once we discovered that Rose was not only fucking the Minister (you said he was the minister of Finance, but at one time also said of Justice. A small cock-up there I think) but had also been fucking Adrian then I expected the emotion to ramp up as well. Alas, it didn't and the story felt a bit flat after that.

I also didn't particularly like that he took her back. The alcohol and distance away from family may have been factors when she was in Wellington (but they don't justify her unfaithfulness), but the earlier affair was when she didn't drink (I think) so what was the excuse then? Really, there wasn't one apart from the fact that she's a cheat and a liar. Damned if I would have her back again.

The introduction of the missing daughter at least answered the early paragraph where the protagonist (I can't even recall if he had a name) wondered about not using condoms when he shot his load into Rose in the MG. Good to see that that little aside was answered (a la Chekov's gun).

Still a good story and it's good to see something from another part of the world. Four stars from me, and thanks for writing it.

I agree with 'Wargames' comment. I also gave this story 2*s even before I read his comment.

Well written but somewhat boring story. Also, unbelievable. Belinda Rose acted like a typical politician. However, her husbands reaction to the revelations of her affairs and their daughter wasn't anywhere near believable. A husband might, at a stretch, forgive a one off cheat. But no way is any man going to forgive a wife who hides the birth and existence of a daughter from him as well as her multiple affairs.

Clearly she had more baggage than Samsonite. Run away, run away.

Clearly a whack job.

Nothing wrong with being hard on criminals. That's a very different thing from being hard on a crazy person...like Belinda.

Locked out of strategy meetings? Fuck that! "Hey everyone out of the room except Adrian and my wife! Now you two fucktards listen closely. You piss me off one more time and I'm blowing this whole thing up. Got it!"

Uh no. The ends justify the means is NOT a conservative saying. It's liberal dogma. Nechayev and Alinsky I believe.

He is far better to her than she has a right to expect.

The storyline was interesting but the telling was poorly organised. In the author's anxiety to catch our attention the internet pic was revealed first but after that there was simply too much backstory (much of it good) to sustain the device.

The style was rather ponderous so the story seemed to drag even when exciting things were happening. A few minutes reading some of our better authors would provide useful help.

BTW, even in New Zealand it's 'discreet' not 'discrete'.

That's funny. Facts are nothing to the left. "There are no absolutes" is a lefty mantra obviously. Note, if one of them, especially a college professor, every tells you that, ask them "Are you absolutely sure?"

Liberal whack job professor (yeah, redundant) marries PTSD crazy. Drama ensues before a happily ever after ending. Like many stories on here, I can overlook the parts that make no sense and enjoy the big picture of the story arc. Fun read. Funny bits in between.

You didn’t BTB any time a wife get smart and disrespectful they get burned

Looks like you raised the ire of the knuckle dragging anti-intellectuals. Well done!

My wife had an MGB and I didn’t really fit into that. I can’t even imagine fitting into a Midget. And sex, in a Midget? You’d have to be a midget to accomplish that!

Unexpectedly liked this. The naked picture certainly drew me in (Literotica after all!) but when the usual story of the early years started, my interest started to wane. What kept me going was the fact that he suspected her of having an affair with Adrian Wilson and my interest picked up, waiting for the axe to drop. However, the twist with the Minister and the daughter, Georgina, delayed that and my expectations of impending doom grew.

The ending was not unusual as most marriages survive affairs because of children, because one prefers to be with one's spouse than without, etc. It could have gone the other way too as in most Literotica stories, as her transgressions were over a long period of time and, of course, filled with lies. But I liked the way he grew to want her back when her prison time changed her - shit happens in life, so why not roses? The road to Damascus was a good analogy and Jesus talked about forgiveness. So why not? Yes, we can call him a wimp and a cuckold but a reconciliation was a realistic option.

Much conversation but otherwise an excellent story.

You've posted too many stories, too quickly. The results are that none of them are worth reading.

1 star

Convoluted story, not worked enough. We will have to learn to condense and organize. In particular, too much time spent, like many authors, describing the first encounter.

- Try to vary the themes, or at least to vary the professions, the relationship between the spouses, with the children,… - As one of your commentators says, it is Literotica, and it is not enough to describe a photo from a porn site; especially if it is not used afterwards.

Still a lot of work. Do you have one or more pre-readers?

Reedrichards is right... sex in a MG would be pretty toughand positively uncomfortable unless she and maybe he enjoys a stick shift up their arse. Perhaps dear author thatnext time a MG or a TR6 enters the into fray the humans have sex atop the back seat/trunk or on the bob et? I suggest she leans on it for support and takes it doggy. 👍

How could any man, much less a professor; forgive what

Rose/Belinda did, not only him, but to all three of his children! Rose/Belinda was obviously nuts right from the beginning! For a learned man like a professor to marry her in the first place was a little insane at best! Sometimes you feel like a nut! Sometimes you don't. I would've taken the latter!

please dont leave the story and go into pages of back story that seems unrelated.

The husband sees his wife, his bedroom, her hair ... but 2 paragraphs later ... I was absolutely certain it was her. Well DAH.

The story is good, but I would prefer to stick to one tale.

It wasn’t perfect by any means but it was an intriguing story

That kept me interested to the end. Don’t stop writing, you’re getting people criticising for the sake of it. Happens to everyone.

You spent way to much time on background and the missed opportunities to expand Roses story. What were her views of what was happening. The part from the confrontation on was the the meat of the story, not how they met.

Not bad but she only related what happened to her after being elected to parliament. They never talked about her affair with Adrian before then? That she had an affair without the pressure early on would seem to be the worst of it for me.

I didn't know you were a cuckold fan. This lame story teaches me better! What a shame about the time!

She alcoholic Slut,he wimpy cuckold.

Truth totally object of ridicule.

Why didn't she get into therapy and stay until?

Why didn't he make it condition of staying in marriage.

Uncle in therapy for 40 years. But kept him normal functioning member of society.

Other people I know did same needed additional help to deal with mental problems.

Alcohol,drugs, infidelity,rape,loss of family, ptsd and the list goes on.

Some mentally capable of dealing with problems themselves others no!

jtwheels

The cowardly English way as usual / A Nation riddle with sexual depravity & Homosexuality ask any French Canadian . The brought there Crap to my Crete / as the Crete's say watch them run / There real good at retreats. Just about every depravity we see in Crete involves the English Rape/ hostage slavery / homosexuality's./ Drunkenness'. But again on the Blue collar side / there trades people are extremely interesting .

But I don't know if I liked the long flash back to explain how they met. It's like you're trying to rope people in with the first few lines and hope they stick around. I started reading until I got bored and scanned until the story returned to the present.

Also, they never really talked about her affair. I know she explained details how it got worse, but the husband lets it go like she embezzled in their relationship. I suppose the writer kept it to himself and decided it wasn't important, but it is. I don't know anyone that wouldn't want to know why and expect her to ask for forgiveness at the very least. Beg and plead, or accept guilt and expecting divorce at the most. No defined segment in the story makes it seem like it's no big deal to her, and the reader doesn't sympathize. I almost expected some divine punishment at one point, since she's getting off easy. Right to the end, I care more for the husband and their first child then I do her. I don't know how the English live their lives and deal with this type of betrayal, but expected more emotion for all characters. Good try.

She had a baby that she put up for abortion? And she never bothered to tell her husband? She then abandons her family and takes on two lovers that she admitted? now apparently one of them graced her house as her bedroom was shown on the picture that was released. But yet! nothing is discussed about her affairs? No asking for forgiveness? no reason for stabbing her husband in the back are given either? You would think the husband would want to know? But no. The husband is portrayed as to much of a Wuss to even ask the wife why. And so are her two sons. This was a story also of corruption to the highest, but nothing came of it. So it didn´t make sense to mention her affairs or her daughter or the theft of funds, since it had really no part to do with the story. most of the story revolved on how good he was and how beautiful and how dedicated she was to her cause. Better luck next time. this story was really boring so bad that I had to skip some paragraphs just to finish reading it.

Compromised and deep in shit but excuses and more excuses.

Wimpy cuckold.

jtwheels

Very well written and the husband was portrayed as quite magnanimous. Surely most of us males would have divorced a cheating wife for one affair let alone to. You portrayal of showed he was very intelligent and understanding of the phycological problems his wife had.

This was a very different LW story as most end with divorce and revenge against the cheating spouse. A nice feel good ending. I wish I could be that understanding. This one was less wordy than the 2 halves story. Thank you, keep writing.

Multiple, ongoing sexual relationships. His lack of care seems odd. Add in a bad marriage and I do not even read a motivation to be married to her.

I would suggest more consequences for the characters. Anguish. Counseling. A reason he thinks staying married is a valid decision.

How bad must the Wallabies be if they can’t even beat a country full of cucks? Wow, just wow.

Utterly ridiculous. There is simply no way that he could reconcile with his wife after so many years of distance, betrayal and deception. At no point in your conclusion to the story do you touch on her affair with Adrian; it’s completely inexplicable, and only makes the RAAC ending even more ludicrous.

ok.

some sketchy grammar.

i still read the whole thing.

stoopid comments. it´s just a story.

What a long strange trip it’s been.

You really do wirte the most PATHETIC cucks

She cheats for decades with multiple men

She lies for decades about the existence of her child

and the cuck still wont leave her

Rose was one sick puppy, a serial cheater and in the story I saw little or no remorse. He should of taken Georgie and the boys and kicked her to the curb for what she did.

A great story from a country whose current politics are an abomination.

From the big island that's not really better.

1 for this poor FANTASY.

Not my thing and I have decided that this writer is not one I will ever read again.

I enjoyed the story because the wife was a very damaged person. I got a real sense of the way in which he felt responsible for her, even when she was behaving badly. She wasn’t evil but caught in her own subterfuge sand inability to communicate. I would have liked more on the reconciliation process as that was really rushed. The criticism about his lack of emotion is well-grounded in my opinion. If that is one area of growth for you as a writer, that is surely it. Your male characters tend to be ciphers. They forgive but it is all pretty bloodless.

To be honest, I really hate how you construct your endings. It's too rushed. You spew so many details at the beginning. Add so many tangents at the middle. Then boom, the ending with few paragraphs which cannot satisfy the reconciliation.

It okay to add another page just for a good closure. Reconciliation stories are hated by many readers because of nice guy who just let it go. A quick ending just make it worst. For me, the ending carrier the weight of a RAAC.

Overall I liked this storey, I do feel the ending could have been better constructed, seemed a bit short at the end, but I do like the happy ending.

So cowardly English ! Cockhold , Screwed , belittled, disrespected , She lived the life of a Liberal left leaning sexual slave - Butt fucked "The English form of birth control " (They love there men's Butts) And he worries about his job situation- Not his free spirit and soul (Part of the English godless culture ) , Wouldn't you be afraid of a weak kneed wimp as a teacher of our youths """ sick story""" ( What about the guys like me that consider him a F= en crippled cunt ). That should be beat and crippled . Ball-less wimp.

Political mumbo-jumbo is tiring, it really paints the writer as a complete ignorant of political process.

The personal relations are also ridiculous. The guy can see the wife is an alcoholic, absent mother, and a serial philanderer and he is not affected by that at all. Sure, let's believe that. What else she needs to do, to attempt murder? Wait, she did that as well.

This is not RAAC, this is RAAR (reconciliation against any reason). The whole thing makes no sense. Alcoholic is achieving political career while husband festers like an idiot back home not suspecting anything. Somehow he is a Dean or something but there is not a smidgen of him doing any intellectual work other than meeting his displaced daughter.

Just like in other stories of this author here are the weaknesses:

1. Ambitious plot goes berserk as author is not interested in connecting the threads he weaves as a spider web. He cannot do that so he leaves everything irrational.

2. Characters are irrational as well.

3. Men behaving as aloof cuckolds.

4. Women are insecure and fragile damsels in distress.

5. The end is intended as RAAC but it is more of an abrupt unexplained turnaround to enjoyment of the author and irritation for everybody else.

Why write this story? If the point is to dramatize the behavior of Rose, then don't treat it at the end like a "girls will be girls, ah well" matter. I don't get it.

Wastoo unaffected by her long term betrayal of marriage viws andeven appreciated new sexualtricks totally ignoring she learned them from other men

Husband is a wimp cuck.

As a New Zealander I found this fascinating. Rose as a Blue-Green could only be a member from self described centre-right party. I read this story as one of very strong love and forgiveness from a man who submerged his liberal-left politics to keep his wife and family together. Tenuously and then ultimately successful. He is a true Christian in turning the other cheek and is eventually rewarded with all his children in one family. The vicious attitude towards punishment of criminals and wayward wives is shown to be self-defeating. This really is a story of love overcoming all - including victory over Rose's self-destructive tendencies. Kindness wins and wins big.

The idea of the plot was good

the writing style was good

but parts of the execution of the plot... I miss the part about being convinced to touch the woman with a 10 foot pole.

The level of betrayal and wrongdoing.... We are talking about a mountain of shit here and not the usual dog poop.... The best outcome would be to be civil? Not a BtB, but just neutral, indiferent?

Many stories here just seem "two dimensional". Then finally, along comes one that is multifaceted like life itself. Portrays characters as realistic. Story was an interesting tapestry of a variety threads woven together. Well written, kept my interest, and seemed "believable" compared to many other stories. I enjoyed this break from the "norm". Good on ya.

Worthless people being worthless at each other when they are dried up and old events force themn back to be worthless together.

A nice story arc. Instead of making the bitter BTB crowd happy, there is patience, trauma, and the dreaded reconciliation. Actually considering the feelings of children to boot- what a concept! Politics is a slimy business and even people with the purest intentions become corrupted. Anyhow, very good job, and as usual ignore the uber moralist anons who spew nonsense.

I realize this is fiction, but it has to be believable. No one would act like the husband did. Years and years if betrayal, numerous affairs, emotionally leaving the family. No marriage could take this. Just not credible.

@rockdoctor63: "I realize this is fiction, but it has to be believable. No one would act like the husband did."

I presume you've never met Hillary Clinton? Her husband is a snake in the grass and she kept him. Martyr.

Ez egy sz@r írás ,ki az a barom aki többszöri hűtlenség ,alkoholizmus ,letöltendő börtön és a család teljes figyelmen kívül hagyása és szétrombolása után még visszavenné az erkölcsileg és testileg leamortizálódott Ribancot?!

This is so screwed up....it's like he's a cuck without anyone mentioning it. Apparetnly he love it, because he stayed with the selfish, unthinking tramp. Rakiura if your trying to come up with something different to write about, at least make it believable and not just sad.

She has done so much lying that if she said her blood was red, I wouldn't believe it!

Burn baby burn.

What a cunt!

She’s a cheating bitch and he’s a stupid cuck.

Well-crafted story with an important message. Good job. To the Bitchers: You judge and condemn fictional characters who represent various types of behavior in real life. But what about you? You reject anyone--even a fictional character--who forgives a woman who falls. You not only reject the wrong conduct of others, you even reject anyone else who forgives such conduct. So why should anyone forgive you your faults? There is no reason anyone should do so. Anyone, even you. Or perhaps you have no faults? In judging others harshly you judge yourselves. Rakiura10: Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your story.