Ben Loves a Challenge Ch. 16

"Please, leave them, just for another minute." Dean obliged, sucking Ben's softening cock back into his mouth, cleaning it up. Ben trembled, then his knees finally did give out. Dean lowered him into his lap, then gently removed his fingers. Ben's gape felt extra empty and strangely unsatisfying, as if his ass could only feel sated after it had been fucked full of cum.

"That was hot," Dean breathed, his hands going around Ben's back. "I wanna fuck you, but I don't think I can get hard enough again, and I definitely can't cum again right now."

"Me, too," he agreed, leaning forward to rest his head on Dean's shoulder. "You're amazing."

Dean snorted. "I should be saying that to you," he said, running his fingers softly up and down Ben's back. Between his fingers and the gentle rise and fall of his chest with each breath, it all felt so nice that he started to doze off.

"We are gonna use the other condom," Dean warned, his hands catching Ben's ass cheeks. It woke him quickly and he moaned when Dean squeezed his cheeks hard.

"Dean," he whined. He kissed Dean's neck up to his ear, then over to his lips. "You're driving me crazy. I love you so much."

Dean kissed him, the gentleness of the action filling him so full of love that he worried he might burst. He kissed Dean back, trying his best to share the emotions he was overly full of.

Eventually they just sat at the foot of the bed, spent and sated in each others arms. Ben had never felt a peace so deep. He dozed again, he must have, cause he jumped when Dean softly tapped his fingers along his shoulder blade.

"Hey, Ben?"

"Hmm?"

"Sorry if you were sleeping."

"Wasn't," he mumbled. "Just drifting."

"Let me up? I wanna brush my teeth. Are you tired?"

Ben shrugged, then got up. "A little, but also not anymore, if that makes sense."

Dean smiled. "Yea, it does."

Despite what he told Dean, he was asleep before Dean came back from the bathroom.

The next morning was their last day off before they returned to work. Dean was still sleeping, he had a feeling that Dean wasn't much of a morning person, but he was already back on his usual schedule. The coffee was brewing, filling the kitchen with its soothing smell, the sun was shining, and all was right with the world. He read the news on his phone while he munched on a piece of toast, killing time until Dean was up.

About an hour later Dean strolled into the kitchen in just a pair of pajama pants. "Morning," he said, then yawned, stretching out.

"Aren't you cold?" he asked, eyeing his boyfriend's naked torso.

Dean shrugged. "Not really. I usually keep the temperature a lot cooler at my place, cause it's expensive, and the building's so old and drafty that it doesn't matter how hot I turn the heat up to anyway." He went over to the coffee pot and picked it up, then put it back down again. "Where do you keep your mugs?"

"Above the toaster there," he directed. Dean found them and pulled out a green mug, then poured himself some coffee. "You sleep well?"

Dean smiled with half of his mouth. "Never better," he said. Somehow he felt Dean was teasing him, but he couldn't quite figure out how. Dean's phone dinged and he looked down, smiling fondly, waking Ben's jealousy.

"What's that?" he asked, trying not to sound jealous.

"Metri. Wants to stay at my place for a while," he said. "You really don't mind if I stay for a few days, like, you know, trial period?"

He licked his lips before he spoke. "I want you to do whatever makes you the most comfortable."

Dean studied him for a minute before typing into his phone again. "Okay. How about a week, and I'll let Metri crash at my place. He's going through some shit right now."

"I know," Ben admitted.

"You know?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, well, I kinda guessed when he took me shopping the other day. He wouldn't say much about it, but... Well, he's all tied up over someone he likes, but won't admit he likes. Seems complicated, I told him he knew our phone numbers if he wanted to talk about it." Ben shrugged.

Dean considered this for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, he doesn't really like talking about himself. His past boyfriend, I mean, the last one he ever had, he was abusive. No one even knew, I mean, Jimmy wasn't even in our friend circle then, and Metri wasn't, like, I dunno. I was busy with my own stuff, so I didn't pry. I wish I had now, it was some bad shit."

"Abusive?" Ben asked, then took another bite of now-cold toast. "Like how?"

Dean tilted his head thoughtfully. "I guess, like, domestic violence. It happens a lot more than you'd imagine, in the LGBTQ community."

"Wife-beating? But, he's a dude?"

Dean sighed. "Yeah, but think about it, Ben. Being in a cis relationship isn't that hard-"

"Cis?"

"Like, a 'normal' relationship, a man and a woman."

"Oh," Ben said, feeling a little out of his element.

"Yeah. So in cis relationships, women get abused all the time, right? It's pretty common, yea? There are just those types of dudes who like to hit someone, yell and say hurtful shit, just hurt them for whatever reason. Take shit out on their partners, shit like that. Women have all sorts of resources now, I'm not saying it's okay or even comparing, by the way, just saying it is a thing that women have. And even then women can be real scared to speak out or seek out help.

"Now, same types of guys can be gay, yea? And, honestly, this isn't just tied to abusive men. There're plenty of abusive women, too. Anyone can be an abuser."

Ben nodded. "But, women aren't as strong as a dude. So, wouldn't it be easier if they are two guys?"

Dean shook his head. "Ben, it's all about emotional power, not necessarily physical power. You've never known anyone who's been domestically abused, have you?"

"My mom, just once. My dad came home, he'd been cheating on her and she caught him. They were yelling, then he threw a big heavy vase at her. Hit her in the shoulder, she had a big bruise for weeks. He wasn't there when Molly and I got up the next day, and we knew better than to ask. When he still didn't come home after a week we finally broke down. She said he'd left, abandoned us. I never saw him again."

"How old were you?"

He thought about it for a second. "Around ten."

Dean nodded. "Your mom's a strong lady. It can be really hard to leave, especially when you have kids. My mom used to counsel women at the church who were in abusive relationships, I can't tell you how many times I heard about how some lady couldn't leave her asshole husband because she didn't have a job, or they had kids, or he really loved her and she probably deserved it. That last one, that's what happened to Metri. I don't wanna get into it, it's not my place to tell you, but he was with a guy who brainwashed him into thinking he was worthless. That no one else would love him, cause he's gay.

"Problem with abuse in gay couples? No one cares. There aren't resources available for us like there are for women. A lot of people think like you, like, they are two dudes, so they can defend themselves. You wanna hear a scary fact? Back in the seventies there was this kid, naked in the street. Beaten, bloody. A neighbor's daughter saw him and told her mom, they called the cops. When the cops came they gave this poor naked boy, he was fourteen, back to his 'partner', even though the boy was crying, begging not to go back, but he wasn't American, didn't speak English.

"The woman questioned the police, Ben. She told them that the boy was a kid, the police told her he was an adult. Fourteen, he was only fourteen, but the cops didn't care. They told her it was just a domestic dispute between 'the gays' and to butt out. They found him later, dead, a victim of Jeffrey Damher. The cops coulda saved this kid's life, coulda stopped a serial rapist and murderer, but because they assumed he was gay they didn't even care.

"Sorry, I know that was extreme, I didn't mean to go on, but it's something that I watched Metri go through, too late to save him from the mind fucking that his ex put him through. I don't know how to help him, Ben, other than to be here for him."

Ben reached out and took Dean's hand. He was trembling, his face pale. "Hey, thanks for telling me. I mean, I knew he'd gone through some shit, but I didn't realize, I feel so dumb now. Like, it makes sense, I just never thought about it before."

"You never had to," Dean said, squeezing Ben's hand. "It's not..." He sighed heavily. "Sorry. I really killed the mood, didn't I?"

Ben shrugged. "I never really thought about being gay, about how hard it is. Like, I'm sorry. I..."

Dean smiled, still paler than Ben liked. "Don't be sorry, Ben. It is what it is. Anyway, Metri's gonna stay at my place for a while, and I'm gonna stay here."

"You sure you don't need to be with him?" Ben asked, his chest tight for all sorts of reasons.

Dean nodded. "Metri just needs someplace that isn't full of Zion. He needs a break, and his apartment is too small, so it's all Zion all the time."

"That's another thing that I really don't understand too well," Ben admitted.

"The drag thing?" He nodded and Dean sniffed. "That's a conversation you should have with him and Jimmy. They both got into it for different reasons. It's empowering, and it's also an escape. A way to protect yourself with a persona."

There was a comfortable silence between them despite the morbid topic they'd just been discussing. Ben stood up, taking his cup and plate to the sink. He rinsed them and put them into the dishwasher, then turned back to Dean.

Dean was smiling at him, still sitting there with no shirt on, and Ben suddenly wanted to touch him. He slipped behind Dean, still sitting, and wrapped his arms around his neck, hugging him from behind. He leaned forward and put his chin on Dean's bony shoulder, then leaned his head against Dean's.

Dean closed his cold hands over his forearms and leaned back onto Ben. "This's nice," he said with a contented sigh.

Ben nodded. "It is." He closed his eyes and relaxed, just enjoying Dean. It was cut short when Dean's phone rang from the other room. He pulled away reluctantly, then followed Dean as he went to retrieve his phone.

If he thought Dean was pale before he'd been wrong. Dean's eyes were glued to the phone's screen even after it stopped ringing.

"Dean? You okay?" he asked, trying to see who had called, but the screen went black in Dean's hand.

Dean shook his head. "I dunno," he admitted, sounding hoarse.

"Who was it?"

"My brother. Sean."

"Oh. You said he called you the other day."

"Yeah. I didn't, he didn't leave a message."

Ben took Dean by the arm and steered him towards the bed, then forced him to sit down. "Are you gonna call him back?"

Dean shook his head. "No. I don't wanna talk to him."

"Does he know? You're gay, I mean?"

Dean shook his head again. "No. None of them do, at least I haven't told any of them." The phone's screen lit up and Dean's brother's name and a profile picture that was the default silhouette filled the display. Dean's hand began to shake.

"You should just answer it," Ben said. "If it makes you this upset, just answer it and get it over with. Right? Like, pull off the bandaid instead of letting the uncertainty eat you alive."

Dean pursed his lips. "You're right. You're right." Still he didn't do anything. Ben waited for a second, then reached over and slid the green circle up to answer the phone. He hit the speaker button. When Dean didn't say anything he nudged him with his shoulder. "Ah, hello?" he gasped out.

"Dean?" Sean sounded younger, but he had a deeper voice. "Hey, Dean? You there?"

"Yeah, hey," Dean said, swallowing hard. "Um, what's up?"

"I was trying to call you yesterday but I didn't get through. Shit, bro, I haven't heard your voice in years, you sound exactly the same. How are ya?"

"Did, um, why'd you call me?" Dean's hand was shaking, so Ben took his phone in one hand, and his hand in the other. He squeezed reassuringly.

"Oh. Yeah. So, um, mom's, ah. There's no easy way to say this."

"Say what?" Dean snapped. "What's wrong with mom?" Dean's trembling had made its way to his voice, and Ben wished he knew what to do to make it better.

"Mom's in the hospital, Dean. She's in the hospital and she wants to see you as soon as possible."

"Why?" Dean exclaimed. "What's wrong with her Sean?"

"She's, oh shit, Dean, I gotta go, dad just got here. She's at General, room 421. Gotta go, okay. Bye!"

"No, wait, Sean, hold on," Dean said, pacing now. "Sean! Sean?" He looked down at his phone, then raked his hand through his hair. "He fucking hung up on me. What the fuck. What the actual fuck."