Bending the Rules Pt. 09: Legendary

10036 words.

For those of you who might be curious, Part 6 had scenarios loosely derived from the Trolley Problem, the Chinese Room Problem, and the Prisoner's Dilemma. Their shortcomings are otherwise entirely my own.

Not based on any particular gaming franchise or storyline.

*****

"Adana, you up...?" Nuru asked, tugging at her. He felt no power to use.

"Party girl's out cold. Time to go see what else can go wrong," Nuru said.

He ate, picked up his drum, called Jaheem and went to his usual place near the gate. Deron was there waiting for him.

"Got news for me?"

"Better," Deron said, dropping a full load of armor.

"Oh. Say, this is good stuff. I don't suppose you have a line on another chest piece that isn't the same variety as those legs. That set has a garbage bonus; it's only technically even a set."

"Not yet. Few of them left in circulation - seems to be the hardest part of this whole thing."

"Dangit. Gonna have to offer a better rate I guess."

"You might. People who can get that deep into Granite Canyon have to be higher level, at least fifteen I would say."

"Alright, well - good luck. EXP payday is coming up. Meet me at the temple for that, if you want. I'll mark your quest regardless, but tell me your tale for Style Points."

"You bet your bottom dollar I'll be there."

*****

The group from yesterday showed up again, with a few more friends - levels thirteen and fourteen, some of them.

"Yo! You made it!"

"What? Of course I made it. I've got a quest," Nuru said.

"See? I told you he did."

"No, you said he's giving a quest."

"That's what he said!"

"No, he said he HAS a quest. That's different."

"Quit being so literal. You know what, I bet you he's got both. Isn't that right?"

"Back up. What are you talking about?" Nuru said.

"The reason you're here. I say you've got a quest you're filling. He says you are giving out quests. But you haven't got a mark, so I know that's not right."

"I don't need the mark for an exclusive."

"See, I told you-"

"No, hold on. Look, be straight with me here. Do you have a quest you're giving, or are you filling one here?"

"Since when do I owe you an explanation?" Nuru said, sensing some entertainment potential.

"Since we left you those leg armors you needed yesterday!" one of them protested.

"Hey you, come over here," Nuru said to the thief.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Didn't I tell you that I didn't need that armor yesterday?"

"Well, maybe, but-"

"Don't be like that, we're trying to settle a dispute here."

The thief sighed. "Fine. Yes. Happy now? Are we all leaving?"

"Not so fast. OK, so he doesn't need that armor. But clearly someone was bringing him some yesterday. He needs something, right?"

"He could be picking up for somebody else. He might not have the quest himself, just doing somebody a favor."

"Guys, he can talk for himself-"

"Shut up, Greater Flatulator. He just said he doesn't want to."

"Hey! It was a minor curse from an imp with high initiative! I'd like to see your saving throw on that!"

"But I wasn't the one that fell for a mimic trap."

"We're getting off topic here. So, does he, or does he not, have a quest to give?"

"I say definitely yes. He was accepting loot from the one guy yesterday."

"Yeah, agreed."

"OK, and does he, or does he not, have a quest to fill? Not just an objective, an official contract."

"I say he's just making a little side money. A bard doesn't do quests on his own."

"Well, hold on. Does the armor fit him? Could he be wearing it himself for some reason?"

"We've proven you're giving a quest. Can I get a copy of that?"

"Guys, I'm having some trouble with people on my situation here. Why would I offer anything to anyone at this point?" Nuru said.

"Not to accept, just read."

"Nope, sorry." Nuru shook his head.

"Gentlemen, we seem to be at an impasse here. How about we play our game and come back to this?" the thief said.

"Fine, fine. But this isn't over!"

They broke into groups, divided up a bunch of leg armors, and ran at Nuru.

"Remember guys, tap on the shoulder only!" Nuru reminded them.

Now, in groups, they came on at him, just far enough apart to be difficult to hit at the same time. Jaheem came in strong, knocking them over left and right, just knocking them from their feet. This, however, only slowed them down; it did not stop them from moving forward. He switched to knocking the front man of each group back into the others, who caught him - sometimes. Those who caught the man in front were knocked back a bit, and those who did not kept on, but on the second pass Jaheem knocked the next row back, and those who didn't catch on the first pass were themselves thrown backwards, where the ones who caught on the first pass were again knocked back slightly but as a group were still moving forward. However, with a few of the groups knocked out, Jaheem had more time to come back and knock them back more frequently. Before too long, everyone was nearly back where they had all started.

SHOOMP

"Woah, what's all this?" Ace said, appearing in a column of dust and fog. He was soaking wet.

"Somebody told them it would be fun to bring me those common armors, and for some reason, this lyena doesn't like them. Anybody's guess who's going to win, although it was a Beast Class victory yesterday."

"Hey! Smoke portals are cheating!"

"The heck, dude! Did he score? Why is he dripping sweat if he used a smoke portal instead of running like the rest of us?"

"Ooh, I know! Show us your quest! He's got a quest for you, right?"

"Uh... yeah," Ace said, showing it to them. "You haven't been giving out this quest to everybody? People weren't biting before."

"Turns out, some people just wanted to farm the cheap crap, without looking for the full set, and take advantage of my price-match-plus-20-percent. So no, I stopped giving it out," Nuru said.

"Told you nobody would come through like me. So, no big deal, I just got you this," Ace pulled out a chestpiece.

"Guys? Do my eyes decieve me? Is that a Legendary?"

"I... I think so. Holy fuck!"

"Wait a minute. That's way too good for a Level Four to equip properly."

"Don't you want to keep it for yourself? What's he paying you for it?"

"I dunno, what's the going rate for Legendaries these days, Nuru?" Ace said, grinning.

"I'll have to get it appraised - no idea, honestly," Nuru said.

"Dammit! Not an end to game time already!" the Level Twelve thief complained.

"Look, we don't have to go just now if you're all ready for this weird game of tag you've got going on," Ace said.

"You sure?" Nuru said.

"Oh, you're gonna pay me soon enough, or I'll find another buyer for this. It's staying with me until we settle on a price. But I know you're not going anywhere with this all but a done deal."

"I've got to hear the story of how you scored that, too," Nuru said.

"Riiight, the style points. Looking forward to it!" Ace said. "So, what exactly are we playing?"

"Bard is the goal. Get these, uh, ridiculous cheap leg armors to him and you get a point, and the group gets one too. Every minute everyone fails to do so, beast gets a point. So far, it looks like teamwork is the key."

"Gosh, you're a ferocious one, aren't you?" Ace said, looking Jaheem all over, who sat suspiciously watching all the scattered leg armors that had been dropped as everyone came to get a glimpse of the chestpiece.

"You know what? I'm in. Let me run and put this treasure in escrow and I'll come join you. I'll show you what else I got, too," he said, winking.

"Don't tell me you got the whole set!"

"Depends. Do the pieces I turned in already count?"

"Epic! How unstoppable would you be with all that on?"

"Actually it's not all that great by current standards. 'Legendary' just means it's over 100 years old, and was Masterwork quality when it was new. But it's got Reflect Damage as a set bonus, and they don't make 'em like that anymore," Ace said.

"No shit..."

"Anyway, back in a few. Don't start without me!"

"Alright dude, hurry back!"

*****

"What was your name again?"

"Ace."

"An uncommon loot find, and an uncommon name. Figures."

"Right. Gentlemen, these armors have one useful function, and one only: annoying that feliform over there. Grab yours, and let's bring glory to our factions!"

"Woooo!"

"For great justice!" the paladin yelled.

"That's a stretch."

"But he's got a quest. We all agreed."

"For real armor. Didn't you see that Legendary?"

"Well, he aught to be allowed to have these other ones if he wants. I mean he could actually equip them, he couldn't equip the Legendary without a serious penalty."

"He's probably got the DEX for it, but he's just a bard. Resist Stun is going to be much better for melee, and that just wouldn't be wise for a support class; that MP penalty would totally nerf his support capability."

"Yeah, he's a bit low on that already from the look of it."

"I'm just saying he should have that choice!" the paladin fumed.

"Hey, whatever gets you out of bed, I guess. Break up into threes, best strategy seems to be stick together and support your front guy when he gets Knockback'd. Keep pushing forward and we can all score. We got enough armors for everybody?"

"Sure, we brought extras today."

"Everybody got one? Alright, go go go!!"

They all fanned out in every direction around Nuru. He set up his drum and started pounding out a dramatic fight rhythm. "!Tasiri motsin zuciyarmu!" he cast.

"Oh yeah, hit me with that good stuff!" one of the rangers said.

"I bet he's boosting Jaheem too," one of the thieves warned.

"But there's more of us, I bet we still come out ahead," the tank said.

With so many buff targets, Nuru's MP dropped quickly. Jaheem was putting up a good resistance, but the groups were starting to close in. He paused, pulled out his partial mana potion, and took a swig. Immediately he started hacking and coughing. "Gods below, that's foul."

"A partial? Didn't you know that stuff spoils when you open it?"

"I thought I had a little longer," Nuru said. "Only cracked it open a day ago."

"Ouch, that's way too long. I mean, you'll still get a boost, but that aftertaste-"

"Pleh! No need to tell me, I'm tasting it right now."

"Well, better drink it immediately if you want to squeeze that value out of it. Chances are it'll be like ghoul vomit in a few hours. Any extra over max you drink will start a mana euphoria and it might be good enough to overcome the bad taste."

"Isn't that a waste though? Shouldn't I save it just in case?"

"Nah, you oversaturate your MP and you'll boost your mana regen for a little while. Plus the euphoria. Trust me, it's better this way."

/Nuru! Mana boost! Now!/

"Oh shit!" Nuru said, quaffing the rest of the potion. He got up to about half MP and then suddenly took a hit.

/Gotcha! Weren't expecting that, were you, you frigid cock biter?/

Nuru stood and watched, hacking and retching at the oily residue in his throat.

"Didn't have enough? Sorry about that. We got this though, don't waste a fresh one on us," the tank said.

(Talk to me. What's going on?)

/Damn husk snuck up on me as I was winding down yesterday. Thought she could trap me in an enchanted cage. Well, it worked, but not for much longer. You hear me? Death is coming for you now!/

(Oh, so when you cut off there-)

/Knocked me unconscious. I mean, had to sleep anyway, more's the mistake she made not killing me then, but I guess she wanted to deliver my head to the Fieflord herself, since someone let slip I was out of favor. Of course, that was before... circumstances changed. And now I'm too strong for her since I'm awake./

(So why didn't she kill you?)

/Revenge. She's the one I knocked off her pedestal to get to where I was. Wanted to see me suffer for what I did, no doubt. No monologue necessary, you harpy, I can see right through you. And soon you'll have a hole right through your womb I can see through, too. Just wait until he gets here./

...

/Told you himself, did he? He's changed his mind. Just wait and see./

(You mean your new thrall?)

/One of them. No, fool, I'm not going to starve here, I sent a Summons. He'll be here... there he is. Fieflord! I'd be ever so grateful if you'd break this cretin's spine. No, don't kill her, leave her to me. I want that kill EXP./

...

/_So_ good of you to come on such short notice. I'll take it from here. Don't forget, no one is to know that you're my thrall now. We must keep up appearances so idiots like this one keep underestimating me. You may go back to your business. And you, Ashanti warmed over, now you die a quick pointless death just like you deserve. What's that?

...

The Biggest Favor? Very well - give me your True Name. You're going to be cannon fodder for my first conquest. You get to live until then./

(Is she a succubus like you?)

/I'll explain sometime when you're not busy getting knocked over./

(What do you me-) "Oof! Thanks for the heads up, both of you," Nuru muttered, climbing back to his feet.

"Sorry dude! But you shoulda been looking behind you."

Adana cackled in his head.

"Three points!"

"Here's six!" another group came in and tagged Nuru on the shoulder.

"Let's go run some interference, we get more points if the rest of us make it too."

"But not for mister 'glass cannon' over there if he keeps insisting on coming all by himself."

"Fair."

*****

"Anybody keeping track here? Someone got Eidetic Memory?"

"I do," Nuru said, when nobody else spoke up.

"Well that's convenient, and improbable. What's the score?"

Nuru rolled back through his memory.

"Collective score, 21. Ace, your group got 2 each. Everybody's got at least 1, except you," Nuru pointed to the brawler.

"Ooh, mister juggernaught ends with *naught*! Literally AND figuratively."

"Shut up. I'm stronger than all of you, and you know it."

"And useless without help, just like real life. Hahah! Ow! No PvP!"

"And how many beast points?"

"Sixteen for Jaheem. Ten minutes up front, six as you all lost your stamina right at the end."

"Dang. He beat all of us individually. But we beat him as a group, barely."

"And he woulda pulled ahead if we had kept going. Crazy strong, what level are you?"

Jaheem yawned, lined up all the leg armors next to each other, and laid down right on top like they were a mat.

"Thirty-five, looks to me," Ace said.

Jaheem's head whipped around and looked him up and down.

"That's right. I've got your number," Ace said, smirking.

"Oh, snap. He understands us, too."

Jaheem looked back away.

"Down to business?" Ace said.

"Sure," Nuru said.

*****

Makena started hopping anxiously behind the counter.

"Problem?" Ace said.

"I- have to pee," Makena said.

"Liar. What are you nervous about?"

"It doesn't matter, nothing to do with you. Nuru, are you here on business?"

"That's right. We need an official Value Estimate done on this armor," Ace said, swaggering up to the counter.

"Nuru?" Makena prompted again.

"Yes. No questions, please," Nuru said.

"I see. Well, I was recently researching this particular piece. So that won't take but a moment."

Makena wrote up an official estimate and handed it over. Nuru whistled.

"Damn, that's quite a piece. Mostly prestige value, though. Well, a deal's a deal."

Nuru went for his purse, then paused. He didn't have enough to cover it.

"Say, Makena, can I borrow a little bit on my tab?"

"Since when do you do tabs?" Ace said. "You never did one for me when I was Level Four."

"I don't anymore," Makena said, glaring at Nuru. "I've been told in no uncertain terms that we have a bank in town for that."

"Uh - tell you what," Ace said. "Why don't I write you a note of joint ownership on the bank escrow and you can charge him whatever interest you like on layaway? And you can leave it in escrow until he pays off the difference, or the escrow charge equals the value of the item and then it becomes yours."

Makena grinned gleefully. "Deal!"

"Good luck with this hardass, Nuru. I guessed we'd need to get an estimate and tried to bribe him to up the price of this armor and he just wouldn't budge. You're going to have a hell of a time paying that interest off. Don't forget you need some money for the rest of the set too - I'll be back with that, and all the other pieces you wanted, later today."

"Great..."

"Later! Hope you're better at getting into those special organizations than you are at giving quests," Ace said, scowling.

"Don't forget to meet me at the temple in a couple days for your EXP. And I need that story of how you got it, too."

"Oh, believe me, I'll be there."

Ace slammed the door on the way out.

"Squee! Nuru... Nuru, that's it! You've done it!" Makena burst out.

"That's the armor we needed?"

"Most of it. But he says he's got the rest, if you trust a thief - I'll give you a day to finish up, then I've giving the mayor whatever I've got. I almost gave him that mostly-complete cheap set you brought in, but now there's no way. I mean, I'll offer that to him at a discount too, but he's going to be thrilled with this gift. A Legendary! I haven't had a Legendary in the shop in ten years, since before I bought out the previous owner and he retired. We just don't have anyone who can afford them in this area. But maybe that's all about to change. Ooh, I'm so excited I could just kiss you."

"I appreciate the thought. I've gotta get back. See you soon," Nuru laughed.

"Offer's open!" Makena winked. "Just, uh, don't tell Jelani."

"The dwarf, right? My lips are sealed."

"To him, or to me?"

"See you later, Makena," Nuru grinned, heading for the door.

"Tease!"

*****

/Now, as I was saying before I was so very rudely interrupted, I have a question for you. There are no wrong answers, technically, but some can be more right than others. My personal opinion./

(Go on.)

/Also, I need you to buy a rug and do some things with it that I will tell you. Bring it with you next time you level up. Very important. I have a surprise for you./

(Okay... I thought you couldn't reach me physically.)

/I can't. It's a two-for-one surprise special. So, first question. Do you prefer sex to be more relaxed, or more intense?/

(Both? What the heck kind of question is that?)

/The opener kind. Second question. Are you more turned on by sitting close to a lover's face, looking them deeply in the eyes as you yearn for that touch of your lips to theirs... or the thought of seeing them naked and watching them in the deep throes of passion?/

(Gosh. I have to choose?)

/Good answer. Are you more turned on by a romantic setting, beautiful sunset, flowers, pleasant fragrances... or doing something naughty or forbidden?/

(Depends on my mood I guess. I could be persuaded either way with the right person, if the moment feels good.)

/Oooh, excellent. Do you like sex to be a drawn out, choreographed affair, or simple and lusty?/

(I'd have to think about it. You say this like I've been with enough people to know, and that they wouldn't have a preference too. I'd go back and forth on that if I had a choice, I suppose. Alternating weeks maybe?)

/Good enough. I like where this is going. So, are you more turned on by the memory of that wicked girl calling herself Katlego, giving up all your control... or that tender moment with the blacksmith's girl, Imani? Which one would you want to relive right now, if you could?/

(I can do both of them. Eidetic memory.)

/Yes, yes. But if you could physically recreate those moments, which one would you do again first? Or would you reverse it with Katlego, and be the one in control?/

(I guess I have more experience to share now. I might go see Imani again, just to see how much more I could do with her. But that was so hot with Katlego... Thinking about going the other way with her is getting me excited...)