Beneath the Ice Ch. 07

Charlotte wasn't sure how Zoe would take the news that she had an aunt and uncle, but as she had no true frame of reference for the difference between blood ties and friendships, she took it in stride.

"Like Auntie Sarah?"

"Yes." Charlotte glanced over her shoulder before changing lanes. They were on their way to Sunday dinner with Theresa and Clyde, and she was nervous. "You can call her Auntie Theresa." She hoped. Theresa might have a different opinion about the moniker, but that could be a conversation for when they were all together.

"And what's an uncle?"

Charlotte had to smile at that. If only Sarah could pin a man down, Zoe would already know. "An uncle is married to an auntie, or if I had a brother, he'd be your uncle."

"Okay." Zoe fell silent, absorbing the information. "Is Alexei my uncle?"

Charlotte nearly choked, turning it into a cough. "No, sweetie. Alexei is--" Oh, jeez. What was Alexei to Zoe? Her 'Grumpy', sure, but that wasn't what she was looking for. Before she could think of a response, Zoe continued talking.

"Because my friend, Stacy, at daycare, she says she has a stepdad, and his name is Caleb and he lives with them, but he's not her dad." A pause. "Or her uncle."

Charlotte stifled a sigh. Zoe wouldn't understand the nuances of an adult relationship. She supposed she could classify Alexei as a stepdad, but she hesitated to slap that level of attachment on him, when she had no idea if they'd go the distance. She could hope all she wanted but that was it for now. She shoved that thought aside before it could give her more anxiety than she needed for the evening.

"Well, that's nice for Stacy. Stepdads and uncles are all great, but Alexei isn't either of those."

"He's not?" Her little voice was confused now. "So he's an auntie, like Sarah?"

Charlotte shook her head and slowed for a red light before glancing over her shoulder at her daughter. "Aunties are girls and uncles are boys."

"So Alexei is an uncle." Zoe sounded so sure it made Charlotte smile.

"He's not, sweetie. He's my--" Boyfriend, Lover? Revelation? "--Special friend."

"Oh." Zoe's little nose screwed up as she made a face. "Okay. I can still call him Grumpy?"

"As long as he's okay with it, yes." Charlotte had long ago made peace with it.

Zoe's questions answered for now, she fell silent, and Charlotte drove the rest of the way to the swanky neighborhood her sister and brother-in-law lived in. She followed Theresa's directions and pulled up on their circular drive, gaping at the big brick-faced McMansion.

"They live in a castle!"

Charlotte snorted out a laugh at Zoe's innocent exclamation. Even to Charlotte, it did have some castle-like characteristics.

"Remember what I told you earlier, okay?" Charlotte climbed out of the driver's seat and moved to the back door to unbuckle Zoe from her car seat. "Best behavior tonight, okay? No jumping on things or touching things you're not allowed to touch."

"Okay, Mommy."

Bless her little easy-going heart. Charlotte let out a breath as she set Zoe on her feet on the snowy driveway. It had been cleared from the storm the day before but there were little drifts all along the edges.

Charlotte locked the car and took Zoe's hand to lead the way up to the front door. She half-expected some maid or butler to answer the door. Instead, Clyde opened it with a wide smile.

"You made it!" Clyde hauled them inside with a hand on Charlotte's shoulder and closed the door behind them, swamping them in the warmth inside the house. "I'm so glad you're here. I was a little worried about you driving on those roads after yesterday but Theresa insisted you were more than capable."

"Capable, yes." Charlotte smiled. "But I can honestly say I don't enjoy driving in Chicago after a blizzard."

"Tell me about it." Clyde gave a mock shudder, before turning his blinding grin on Zoe, who had gone shy, tucking herself against Charlotte's leg, her little fist at her mouth. She gazed up at Clyde with wide eyes, one arm around Charlotte's thigh. "And you must be Zoe." He dropped down to a crouch, eye-level with the child. "I've been so looking forward to meeting you."

Zoe pressed tighter to her mom and Charlotte dropped a hand to her head for comfort.

"I'm your Uncle Clyde." Clyde paused, glancing up at Charlotte with a wry grin, as if looking for confirmation that the label was all right.

Charlotte nodded, still rubbing Zoe's hair.

Clyde reached out one hand towards Zoe and she shook it quick before putting her hand back at her mouth. "Yeah, Uncle Clyde. Or you can call me Uncle C, it's what my brother's kids call me."

"You have a brother?" Zoe asked from behind her fist.

"I do."

"I don't have any brothers. Or sisters. Or uncles."

Clyde gave her a gentle smile. "You have one now, don't you?"

Zoe nodded, her shyness fading by the second. Charlotte watched as Clyde helped Zoe out of her winter coat and boots before he straightened to his full height again. He helped Charlotte with hers, hanging everything in the front hall closet as Theresa appeared beside them.

"Hi, sorry I wasn't here to greet you," she said, coming forward to give Charlotte a hug, far less awkward than their embraces at the event the week before. "I had to wait for the oven to ding."

"Of course." Charlotte stifled her surprise that Theresa was cooking. Then she berated herself for assuming anything about Clyde and Theresa and how they lived, no matter what their house looked like. She knew as much about them as they did her. "Zoe, this is your Aunt Theresa."

"I have an auntie." Zoe glanced between Theresa and Clyde. "She's Sarah."

"That's wonderful. It's always good to have more than one auntie or uncle." Clyde put an arm around Theresa as he spoke.

Zoe's eyes widened. "You can have more?"

Charlotte exchanged a grin with the other two adults. "Oh yes, sweetie. Some people have half a dozen or more."

"Really?" Zoe's amazement was adorable. "So I can keep Auntie Sarah?"

They all chuckled before Clyde shuffled them out of the front hall and into the great room where the scents of dinner cooking surrounded them.

"Now, Zoe, what is your favorite drink?" Clyde crouched down to her level again. "Do you like juice, or milk?" He leaned closer with a cheeky grin. "Or beer?"

Zoe burst into giggles and shook her head. "That's a grown-up drink, Uncle C."

Charlotte watched as Clyde absolutely melted at the way Zoe said his new name.

"You're right, Zoe. Juice it is!" And he swept her up into his arms to further giggles and carried her into the kitchen to get her drink.

Charlotte turned to Theresa, who was also smiling at her husband's behavior. "He seems like a really good man, Theresa."

Theresa nodded. "He's the best. I feel so lucky every day."

Charlotte knew that feeling. She cleared her throat and looked around the big, open room. "Your house is lovely. How long have you lived here?"

"Oh, not quite a year. We were a few miles away before we got married, and then started looking for something a little bigger after we got married."

"A little bigger?" Charlotte smirked as she glanced around again.

"Well, we've been talking about starting a family ourselves."

"Really? That's wonderful." And Charlotte meant it. The idea of being an aunt herself had never occurred to her before now.

"Anyway." Theresa brushed a hand through her hair, a darker auburn than Charlotte's own red waves. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Just water, thanks."

Once they all had drinks in hand, they sat down around the living room. Clyde kept Zoe occupied with discussions of princesses and the merits of happy songs versus sad, leaving Theresa and Charlotte to chat on the couch opposite.

"So what do you do for work?" Theresa let out a breath. "I'm ashamed to say I don't even know that."

"Why would you?" Charlotte smiled and shrugged. "The last time we talked, I was still in college. I've been working at a store called Heart and Home." She described the store and the things they sold.

"I'll have to stop in there sometime." Theresa looked as if she meant it, so Charlotte nodded. "I'm always looking for accent pieces for this place. There are a couple whole rooms that are basically empty still."

"I can imagine." Charlotte looked up around at the lofted ceiling and the fireplace burning on low. "You'll need five kids to fill this place."

Theresa's smile twisted and she looked away, sipping her wine. "Would you like a tour? Perhaps you can give me some ideas in the empty spaces?"

Charlotte wasn't sure what ideas she'd have but she nodded anyway. Clyde and Zoe were chattering away still, reminding Charlotte of Alexei's first interactions with her daughter. Clyde was very similar in the way he spoke to Zoe, without talking down to her in the least.

Theresa led the way through the house, down to the developed basement where there was a pool table and an enormous screen with a projector mounted on the ceiling across from it. There was a spare bedroom and bathroom downstairs as well, mostly being used as storage. Upstairs, the master bedroom and en suite were nice and well-used, and there were three additional bedrooms as well.

They stood in the middle of an empty one and Charlotte turned in a slow circle, looking around, her gaze catching on the beginnings of a mural on one wall. It was a parade of animals, all with cartoonish features, and all very familiar.

"You painted this." She walked over and lifted a hand to one comical giraffe.

"Yes." Theresa sounded as though she didn't want to admit it.

Even if she'd have denied it, Charlotte would know. She knew these characters. Theresa had always been artistic, drawing and sketching through evenings and weekends when they were kids.

"They're adorable." Charlotte cast a smile over her shoulder at her sister, who stood near the door, wringing her hands together in front of her. "I assume you're intending to turn this into the nursery when it's time?"

"Yes. That's the plan."

At Theresa's tense voice, Charlotte dropped her hand and turned to face her. "Are you all right?"

Theresa started to nod but let out a sigh and shrugged. "I don't know. I feel very awkward right now, showing you my intended nursery in my house with my husband downstairs, and never having included you in any of this. For years. You must hate me."

Charlotte blinked at the stream of words and walked towards her sister. "I don't hate you."

Theresa frowned. "I'm not sure I believe you."

"I promise, I don't. I can't lie and say the last few years have been easy, or that I'm not disappointed that I haven't been around for so much." Charlotte looked around the room again and back at Theresa. "But we can't change things."

"We can't?"

"We can start fresh now, and really try to be a part of each other's lives." Charlotte surprised herself by meaning it. Was she all better after the disappointment and loss of the past five years between them? No. But she could try, if Theresa was willing.

"I'd like that." Theresa let out a shaky breath and reached out to take Charlotte's hand. "Honestly, the idea of having kids terrifies me. If you're around to give me tips and tricks of the trade, I wouldn't be half so scared."

Charlotte burst out laughing. "Oh, Theresa. Of course, I'll be here for anything you need, but I have to be honest. Doesn't matter how many tips you get, or how many books you read, it's all an adventure you have to survive on your own. Well, you and Clyde together."

Theresa smiled at that as a wave of laughter drifted up to them from the living room. Then her smile faded. "I'm so sorry, Charlotte."

"For what?"

"You were alone. Through it all."

Charlotte winced and nodded. "I was. But I survived, and so did Zoe."

"You shouldn't have had to do it on your own. I can't tell you how much I regret not reaching out sooner."

Charlotte looked away, unsure of how to respond. Anger mixed with so many other emotions that she needed a second. "I'm not going to say it's okay, because it isn't. It wasn't easy. Yeah, I could have used the help. I could have used family."

Now it was Theresa wincing, her eyes going glassy with tears.

"I don't know why it was so hard for all of you to accept my decision." Charlotte looked back at the mural of cartoon animals and let out a shaky breath.

"I don't even have a good explanation, Charlotte."

Charlotte scanned her sister's face, frowning. "Do you have any? I mean, I can almost understand where Mom and Dad were coming from, since I know what they're like. But you--" She shrugged and looked down. "That really hurt when you shut me out, Theresa."

Letting go of Charlotte's hand, Theresa turned and paced a few steps away. "I feel so ashamed now. I have for a long time. Almost since it happened." She stopped and turned to face Charlotte, her face pale and her eyes wet with tears. "I was just finishing my first year of grad school, do you remember?"

Charlotte blinked and nodded. "Sure."

"Well, after that night, when you told us, I stayed up late with them, talking and trying to get them to see that it wasn't the end of the world."

Charlotte bristled at the distinction. No, indeed. It had been the beginning of a whole new world, one she wouldn't trade for anything, not now. She held her tongue, letting her sister continue.

"I said they should let you stay, help you out for a year or two until you got your feet under you again."

"You did?"

Theresa nodded and rubbed one eye. "They disagreed."

"I bet they did." Charlotte sighed and moved closer to her sister. She turned and sat down, her back against the wall with all the colorful animals. "What did they say?"

Theresa joined her, close enough that their shoulders touched. "They said they couldn't reward you for making such a big mistake."

"Zoe was not a mistake."

"I know, Charlotte." Theresa placed her hand on Charlotte's upturned knee. "I didn't agree with them then, and I don't now."

Charlotte nodded and placed her hand over her sister's on her knee.

Theresa continued. "I told them it was stupid to make you choose, that they'd regret turning you away when you needed them most."

"Let me guess. They disagreed with that too?"

Theresa nodded. "I argued for an hour with them until Dad snapped and told me that if I really wanted to support you, then I didn't need them either."

Charlotte frowned. "What?"

"He said if I chose your side -- his words, not mine -- then they'd stop paying for my school. Mom agreed with him." Theresa tugged her hand away, her shoulders drooping. "They said I could leave with you and figure out how to pay for school myself."

Charlotte let her head fall back against the wall with a dull thud and closed her eyes. Damn them. Damn both her mother and father.

"I'm so sorry, Charlotte." Theresa's voice choked on the last word.

"I know." Charlotte sighed and reached over to take her sister's hand. "I'm not saying it's okay, but I can't really fault you for making the decision you did."

"You don't mean that."

Maybe not. "Fine. It hurts that you chose them over me. School, over me. Security. And yet--" Charlotte lifted her free hand and drew in a shaky breath. "I get it, I really do. But honestly, it's not okay that they even did that to you. To us."

"No." Theresa sniffled and wiped her face. "I shouldn't have gone along with it. I was just scared and stupid. I can't ever tell you how sorry I am."

"I know." Charlotte rolled her head against the wall and offered her sister a weak smile that she wasn't really feeling. "I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry that I ever put you in that position."

Theresa's eyes widened. "What? You didn't do anything."

"Sure I did. I was the one having a little too much fun in college and ended up pregnant at nineteen." Her tone was wry and she'd long ago made peace with her own choices. Sure, her family could have done everything so much differently, but as a mother now, she didn't know how she'd react to the news that Zoe was pregnant so young, should it ever come to that. "Honestly though, I can't believe they reacted so strongly."

Theresa sighed and wiped more tears from her cheeks. "I know. When you decided to go your own way, they didn't speak to me for months either."

"Really?"

"Yeah." She shifted and squeezed Charlotte's hand. "They paid for my next year and all, but I knew they were mad that I tried to take your side. They held it over my head for a while too, when they did speak to me again."

"What do you mean?"

"At Christmas, when you called, I suggested they invite you for dinner, at least. They said they didn't forgive you yet, and if I really wanted to see you, they'd take it to mean I didn't want to finish school after all."

"Jesus." Charlotte squeezed her eyes shut. "They were really mad, I guess."

"They were too stubborn for their own good, and because I wasn't strong enough to face up to them, I went along with it. For far too long. By the time I got out from under their thumb, I didn't know how to reach out to you. I didn't know if you'd ever want to speak to me again." She twisted and faced Charlotte more fully. "I'm so, so sorry."

Charlotte opened her eyes and took in Theresa's tear-streaked face and red eyes, and nodded. "I know. I'm sorry too, but let's stop apologizing for them."

Theresa bit her lip but nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry for me, for letting it go this long."

"Me too. I could have pushed for more but my own fears kept me from demanding your number from Mom and Dad."

"Well, now you don't need to." Theresa reached over and gave Charlotte a quick hug. "You have my number and I'm always up for a chat."

"Good." And Charlotte meant it, hugging her sister back. It had been a long time and she was ready to start rebuilding a relationship with Theresa, if her sister was willing as well.

Theresa gave her one more firm squeeze before drawing away. "I think we should get back downstairs, don't you? Goodness knows what Clyde's doing to my dinner by now."

Charlotte let her sister go, sensing that it was enough emotional discussion for one day. She followed Theresa downstairs and found Clyde and Zoe sitting at the kitchen island, playing Go Fish.

"There you are." Clyde looked up with a grin. "We wondered where you'd gone."

"I'm winning, Mommy!" Zoe held up her cards to show Charlotte.

"Good work, sweetie." Charlotte dropped a kiss on Zoe's forehead. "Thank you for keeping her occupied."

"Of course." Clyde gave her a kind smile and played another card. "I figured you two would want some time to talk."

"You're a very astute man, Clyde."

"Not really." He glanced at his wife who was moving around the kitchen, making last minute preparations to dinner. "I just know my wife."

Charlotte saw the way he looked at Theresa and was so happy that her sister had found a man who genuinely loved her. "I hope we all get to know each other better from now on."

"I know we will." He faced her again. "Zoe and I are already friends, right?"

"Right!" Zoe slapped down her cards. "I win!"

"You stinker! Again?" Clyde let out an exaggerated sigh and grabbed up the cards to shuffle. "All right, Charlotte, you're in this next round. Let's see if we can catch her."

Zoe dissolved into giggles but happily played another two rounds before Theresa announced dinner was ready.

They ate and chatted over dinner, as if they'd been doing it for ages. There were still a few moments that made one or more of them pause with awkward silence, like when Theresa mentioned their wedding. Charlotte understood exactly why they'd decided to elope. She could understand how torn Theresa would have been over trying to plan or invite people and said as much. For the most part though, it was an enjoyable evening.

After, Charlotte found herself alone with Theresa in the kitchen as her sister tidied up and put the leftover food away. Clyde had hustled Zoe off to watch a princess movie on the big screen in the basement.