TBBT Website Battle 01 - The Seed

Welcome to the story that planted the seedling that became the battle royal of the Bernadette vs Penny website series. Enjoy!

Raj and Stuart arrived at Howard and Bernadette's house after Bernadette called and asked Raj to come over.

"Hi, Raj," Bernadette said when she opened the door. "Oh! Hey, Stuart. I wasn't expecting you."

"Yeah, Stuart and I were flying kites together when you called. I didn't think you would mind."

These boys are such children! "No, it's fine. Come in, guys." Once they got into the living room, she continued. "Our internet's down and I really need to get off...er, I mean on. With Howie away, I was hoping you could take a look at it."

"Ya! Sure, no problem." Raj looked at Stuart. "Let's start with the box and router. I know where it's at, upstairs in the spare bedroom."

"My laptop is on the bed in there, too!" she hollered at them as the pair bounded up the stairs. "I made cookies! I'll bring them up with some milk!"

"Sweet!" the two boys answered in unison.

Raj reset the main box and the router. Sure enough, a couple of minutes later, the internet was back up. He grabbed Bernadette's laptop to make sure she could still get on. When he launched her browser, a "cheating wives" website popped up. And there was Bernadette! Several pictures of Bernadette in various stages of undress and poses were on the page titled "Bad Bernie".

"Oh ma gawd! Would you look at that, Stuart?! I can't believe it!"

"Oh wow! Yeah, I can't believe I haven't found that website yet, either!"

"No, that's not what I meant! That...that...that's Bernadette!"

"Oh! Yeah. Right. That's pretty hot! What's that website again?"

Just then, Bernadette walked in. "Okay, here are the cookies. How's it...oh my goodness! You...you weren't supposed to see that!" She sat the cookies on the bed, then sat next to them and put her head in her hands. "Please promise you won't tell Howie about those. I'm so embarrassed!"

"Embarrassed about what? Howard would probably be showing them off if he knew about them!" Raj replied.

"Really? You don't think they look silly?"

"Silly?! I think they're hot!"

Stuart nodded his head. "Yeah. We always tell Howard what a lucky bastard he is to be married to you. Quite frankly, we're not sure how he pulled it off. Did he drug you or anything? Asking for a friend."

Bernadette ignored Stuart's comment. "I post them to get reactions from other men. Howie's so easy. All I have to do is unbutton a button on my blouse and he thinks we're having sex."

Raj chuckled. "Yeah, he's a horn dog, that's for sure."

Stuart persisted. "So, about the drugs..."

She looked at Raj with puppy dog eyes. "Do you think I'm attractive, Raj?"

"Me?! Well, huh, gosh, you're my best friend's wife. I don't even look..." He paused. "Are you kidding?! Yes! I find you hot as hell, Bernadette!"

"Really?" She turned to Stuart. "What about you, Stuart?"

"Well...uh..."

Raj waved a dismissive hand at his friend. "Don't ask him. He gets a hard on any time a woman talks to him."

Stuart shrugged his shoulders and nodded. "Sad but true."

"You know, Bernadette, there's only so many ways you can photograph yourself by yourself. If you really want to get a reaction from your fans you need another person."

"I know," Bernadette said forlornly. "I've got a good camera but nobody to help. Hey, would you mind helping me?"

The guys looked at each other. "Uh, yeah, we can do that," Raj said with a smile.

"Great!" Bernadette reached under the bed, grabbed her camera and handed it to Raj. "Okay, you can tell me what guys really like."

"Well, first, let's get that sweater off," he suggested. Bernadette unbuttoned her pink sweater and threw it on the bed. She was wearing a dress with a flowery pattern that looked something like your grandmother's old couch. As usual, it looked about two sizes too small. Bernadette always had to do her clothes shopping in the young adults section due to her 4' 11" frame. They don't make clothes for young adults with a 37-inch bust line. It was a choice between too tight and the right length or way too long and comfy. The guys were happy she always went with too tight. "There you go." Raj held up the camera. "Now, let's see some leg." She slowly raised the hemline of the dress. The camera clicked away as it passed her hips, revealing a yellow thong. "Wow! That's great! Now let's see you unzip it." She turned to the camera and looked at the camera over her shoulder sexily as she unzipped the back of the dress. "Yeah, just like that! That's great! Now let it fall to the ground...yeah, just like that." The dress gathered at her feet, revealing a sheer bra that matched her thong. It did nothing to hide her half-dollar-sized pink areolas or her gumdrop-sized nipples that were trying to shred the thin material. "Wow, Bernadette! That's great!" Raj paused. "Now, uh, I think you should, uh, you know, take off the, uh (gulp) bra and panties."

"Okay!" The camera clicked away while she slowly, sexily took off the bra like an old vaudeville act until she let it fall to the ground. Her tits were perfect! Milky white mounds of flesh that stood up high and firm. Then she repeated the process with the thong, slowly sliding it down her short but toned legs until she slipped it across her feet and tossed it aside. She started to pet her bald snatch with only a thin landing strip of blonde hair above it and pinch her own nipples. "How's that?"

"Perfect!"

"Really? You think so? I want to give men really hard erections!"

"I know I've got one!" Raj said.

"Yup, me, too!" Stuart added.

"So, should I try something else on?" she asked innocently.

"I'll tell you what always gets me off is a hot woman making out with a cock," Raj offered.

"Me, too!" Stuart added. "Uh, not that I, uh, ever visit those sites or anything."

Bernadette tilted her head. Her eyes sparkled. "Are you volunteering, Raj?"

Raj and Stuart looked at each other. "Seriously?" Raj asked. "What about Howard?"

She dropped to her knees. "If you don't tell him, I won't."

Stuart slapped Raj on the back. "Do it, dude!"

Raj handed the camera to Stuart and unzipped his pants. "Well, if you insist." A huge, thick, caramel-colored cock fell out of his pants.

"Oh my God, Raj! It's so...big!"

Raj smiled and waved it at her. "That's your fault."

"Mmmmmm, let's see if we can do something about that." She wrapped her tiny hand around the shaft and began to slowly stroke it while she pinched her nipples. Her tiny hand made it look even larger than it already was in Stuart's viewfinder. She looked up at Raj with a crooked smile. "Does Howie tell you about my blow jobs?"

Raj didn't want to throw his buddy under the bus. "Uh, well, you know, he might've mentioned it."

Stuart waved a dismissive hand. "Are you kidding?! He talks about it all the time! He says you suck dick like a pro!"

She smiled. "Oh yeah? What else does he say?"

"Oh, well, you know..." Raj muttered.

"He says you're a total sex freak! He says you'll do anything he asks!"

She looked at Raj. "Is that true, Raj? Does he tell you I'm a total sex freak?"

"Well, uh, yeah, actually. He says you're a total slut. I always told him he was full of shit."

Her hot breath rushed across the tip of his pole. "What do you think now?"

He smiled down at her. "I'm beginning to think he was telling the truth."

She giggled. "You don't know the half of it, mister."

Stuart watched through the view finder as Bernadette wrapped her tiny hands around the thick shaft. She pointed it at the sky and dropped her face underneath it. Raj gave a loud moan when she ran her tongue along the underside from balls to tip, and then again. She rolled her tongue around the tip, then sat back and studied it.

Raj's head snapped back when his purple tip slipped through her lips. "Ohmagawd!" Her head quickly began to bob on his pole, the tip slamming against the back of her mouth with each dive with his hands on the back of her head. Stuart made sure to get plenty of photos of her tits bouncing, as well. "Wow, Bernadette, you're really good at sucking cock!"

Bernadette looked into his face and nodded her head. "Mmmmhmmm! Mmmmmhmmmm!" Her hand dove between her legs and began to swat her excited clit.

Raj's head snapped back again when her chin landed on his balls. "Ohmagawd!"

"Holy shit, dude! She just swallowed the whole thing! That's amazing!" Stuart watched as Bernadette's throat continued to distort into the shape of Raj's manhood. "Hey, hey! Hold it right there, guys!" Stuart requested just when her nose buried into Raj's stomach and he was completely inside her. "I want to make sure I get some good pictures of this. I mean, it's amazing! Okay, let's see. Yeah, a close up. (click) Pan back...this is a great camera, Bernadette!"

"Dude!"

"Oh, yeah, right. Okay, there, a nice, full portrait picture. Oh yeah, there, your tits look great there, Bernadette (click). Okay, a landscape picture (click). Let me get a close up of your chin on his balls (click)."

Bernadette began to cough and gag. Tears started to well in her eyes. Her body was begging for air.

"Dude! Wrap it up before she passes out!"

"Oh! Yeah. Right. Okay. I, uh, (ahem), I think I've got what we need there."

Bernadette's head sprang off of Raj. She coughed and took in as much air as possible. "Jesus, Stuart! I'm a sword swallower, not a deep sea diver!"

"Yeah, uh, sorry, Bernadette. I got carried away. Wait until you see the pictures, though! The camera really loves you!"

Bernadette beamed. "Really? You think so?"

"Well, uh, yeah. I mean, that perfect milky skin. The blonde hair. The angelic face. The rockin' rack on a teenage girl's body. Yeah, absolutely."

"Really? You think I have an angelic face? That's so sweet!"

"So, how about we get a couple of tit fuck pictures while she catches her breath?" Raj suggested.

Bernadette agreed. "Oh yeah! Great idea!" She raised up and wrapped her globes around Raj's shiny post.

They were warm and soft, yet firm at the same time. "Ooooooo, that feels nice, Bernadette."

"Howie likes it when I do this, too. But his, you know, thingy, doesn't pop out the top like yours does," she revealed while she bounced up and down. She swatted her tongue at the tip each time it popped out the top of her cleavage.

Raj and Stuart both chuckled. "Yeah, we saw him by accident once," Raj smiled. "He's so tiny!"

"Wow, this looks really great, guys! With Raj's big dick and Bernadette's great rack...man, guys are gonna love this!"

"Really? You think so?" Bernadette asked sincerely.

"Yeah! Take a look!" Stuart walked over to the pair and flipped through the photos he'd taken.

"If you really want to look sexy, you should be photographed having sex," Raj offered.

"Raj! Dude! This is Bernadette! Howard's wife! I mean, a blow job is one thing. But sex?!"

Bernadette looked at Raj. "Really? Guys don't think that looks slutty?"

Stuart laughed. "Not the straight ones!" He paused. "I mean, not that there's anything wrong with being gay, but, you know, straight guys really get off on seeing a woman get a really good, hard...uh, you know..."

"A good hard fuck with a great big cock?" Bernadette purred.

The guys looked at each other. "Uh, yeah, that," Stuart replied.

Bernadette climbed onto the bed and spread her legs. "Do you think my pussy is pretty?" She squealed when Raj dove between her legs and swatted his rough tongue at her puffy lips and raised bean.

He pulled his face out of her "V" and looked at her. "Not only pretty, but delicious, too."

Bernadette looked at him as he stood up and peeled off his clothes. Her slit grew slicker as he grew more naked. "Oh my, look at you," she purred. "Have you been working out, Raj?"

He beamed. "Pilates! Thanks for noticing!" He turned to Stuart. "Hey, Stuart, get a couple pictures of that huge clit for the guys."

"Great idea!" Stuart said as he moved in closer. Bernadette gasped when his fingers touched her swollen lips and pushed them apart. "Oh wow! That thing is huge!"

"Ohmagawd," Bernadette moaned while the camera clicked away. "This is making me so hot!"

Raj tapped Stuart on the shoulder. "Okay, dude, that's enough. Step aside. It's time to tap that shit."

Her eyes twinkled. "Ooooo, are you going to fuck me with that big, fat cock, Raj?"

He climbed onto the bed and inched between her legs. "What do you think?" Stuart watched Raj rub the tip along her gash through the viewfinder.

The tip disappeared between her fleshy folds. "Be gentle. I'm used to Howie's puny little dick."

The shaft began to slide in. "The way Howard tells It, you put much larger things in there than just his tiny little dick." He threw his hips forward.

Bernadette's head flew back and her back arched. "Oh sweet Jesus!" Stuart watched Raj begin to pump his hips.

"You must be starving for a good fuck, Bernadette, because your pussy is gobbling me up!"

"Oh yes! Father forgive me, fuck me harder, Raj!" Bernadette squealed.

Raj was more than happy to oblige. He pumped his hips harder and faster than he thought possible while he mauled her fleshy globes. Stuart continued to click away, getting close ups and wide angles of all the action, hoping he didn't run out of disk space. Without even realizing it, he'd pulled his snake trouser out into the open, stroking it with one hand while working the camera with the other.

Bernadette's body soon became tense. She balled the bed sheets into her hands and held on as if she was about to launch into orbit.

"Oh Mother Mary and Joseph, don't you dare stop, Raj! Don't stop! Ohmagawd! Fuck...fuck...fuck me with that fat cock!"

Raj watched her face twist and contort. "Dude, make sure you get her cum face!" he said to Stuart.

Her back arched. She could feel two lightning bolts racing up her thighs. Raj felt her cunt spasm around his piston. "Oh God! Oh God! Yes! Yes! Ggggaaaa yaaaasssss!"

The men watched her body visibly tremble while electricity tore through her tiny body. She cursed Raj's family lineage and begged the heavens for forgiveness.

Her body finally sank back into the bed. Her death grip on the bed sheets loosened. Raj slowed and then stopped.

Bernadette was obviously not pleased. "Hey, buster! What're you doin'?! You didn't, you know, finish yet, right?" she asked while her fabulous chest heaved.

Raj smiled at her. "We're just getting started," he said as sweat dripped off his chin.

"Ohmagawd! I haven't orgasmed from actual sex in years!"

Raj slapped her on the hip. "I think your fans would like to see another side of you." Bernadette totally forgot Stuart was off to the side recording the events. "C'mon, roll over." Bernadette rolled over onto all fours. "C'mere, Stuart, get a nice close up of both her holes before I wreck both of them."

A chill ran up Bernadette's spine while the camera clicked. "You think they want to see that?" she asked.

Raj chuckled. "Oh, I know so."

"He's not wrong," Stuart added.

"Well, okay. Make sure you get me lubed up back there, mister." She squealed when Raj stabbed two fingers into her freshly fucked gash and slid them in and out. Then, just as quickly, he yanked them out. She felt pressure on her puckered hole. She took a deep breath. "Oh!" she squeaked when Raj slipped a digit through knuckle deep. He proceeded to pump it in and out several times.

She relaxed when he withdrew and jumped when his saliva landed where his finger had just been. "There, that should do it," he said. He looked at Stuart. "Make sure you get this. They're gonna love it!" Stuart simply nodded.

Raj scooched in and held his staff steady. Bernadette bit her lip when she felt him touch her freshly lubed rosebud. Time stopped when his bulbous head disappeared. She let out a long, animalistic growl neither man thought she was capable of making the entire time his long, thick shaft slid past her sphincter.

When his hips landed on hers, Raj stopped. "Ohmagawd, Bernadette! Your ass is so tight!"

"Dear Lord in heaven! That's because you're so fucking big!"

"Look at what you've done to poor Stuart, you naughty girl," Raj said. She yelped when he slapped her naughty, heart-shaped ass.

She turned her head and saw one of the most incredible cocks she'd ever seen. "Oh my God, Stuart!"

Stuart thought for sure an ass beating was next. "What?! What?! It...it...how did it get out of my pants?! Sorry! Sorry!"

"No, Stuart! Your...your, uh, thingy...it's beautiful!"

It really was. A model would give her own life for its skin tone and complexion. The size was perfect. The veins looked like they were painted on. It looked like an artisan had sculpted it out of the finest clay and broken the mold.

Stuart looked down at his tool. "Really? You think so?"

"I really do! I'd have never imagined it would be attached to, you know, you!" She gasped. "Oh my goodness! That was mean! I'm so sorry!"

Stuart shrugged his shoulders. "It's okay. My mother says the same thing."

Bernadette finally broke the awkward silence. "Well, it makes me hot!" she purred. I've got two more holes that need attention. Why don't you get up here and stuff it down my throat for starters?"

"Really? Seriously?" She nodded her head with a wicked smile on her face. In a heartbeat, Stuart was out of his clothes and on the bed with his magnificent work of art touching her lips. He watched through the viewfinder as she swallowed him whole. "Oh geeeeeez! That feels as amazing as it looks!" Don't cum yet! Don't cum yet! Don't die! Don't cum yet!

The room was soon filled with moans, groans, and cursing. It quickly smelled like sweat and sex. Each thrust of Raj's hips drove Stuart deeper into Bernadette's throat. Raj had a firm grip on her hips while Stuart molested her chest with his free hand.

It wasn't long before both men could feel their respective holes tightening. Raj slowed his thrusts.

"Look at her, dude! She's about to cum again!"

"I know! We must be doing something right!" Stuart said, honestly surprised.

Raj pulled out of her ass. "You've got to feel her pussy when she cums. It's amazing!"

Stuart pulled out of her mouth with a pop. "Ohmagawd! I haven't been fucked this good in years!"

"C'mere, lay down. Yes, like that. Here." Raj grabbed her legs and spun her around. She was laying across the bed with her head hanging off the edge. "Okay, dude, time for you to tap that pussy until she cums."

"Ohmagawd, yes! Fuck me 'til I cum with that beautiful cock, Stuart!" she begged.

"Gee, thanks, buddy. Here, your turn to direct." Stuart handed the camera to Raj.

Raj held the camera up as Stuart slid between Bernadette's legs. "Go in nice and slow so I can capture the whole thing."

"Give it to me, Stuart!" She gasped when his swollen tip touched her quivering lips. Ever so slowly, it slipped through her slit. "Ohmagawd, you're teasing me! Give it to me!"

Raj chuckled while his pole bounced over her face. "Listen to her! She's begging for it, dude!"

Stuart looked bewildered. "I-I-I know! I've never had a woman beg for it like that!"

She moaned the entire, slow slide until he landed on her. "Ohmagawd! Stuart, you're so big!"

"Dang, Bernadette! You're so tight!"

"Just fuck me, goddammit! I'm so close!" Stuart pulled back and threw his hips forward. "Oh God!"

Raj stepped back and lowered the aim of his camera. "My turn." He touched his purple head to her lips. "Open wide!" Bernadette did as asked. "There! How does your ass taste? Huh? How does it taste? Oh yeah, suck it, slut!" Just as Stuart had done, Raj slid into her face nice and slow. The camera captured the full distortion of her throat as it took on the shape of his rod. He moved the camera around and got several different angles.