TBBT Website Battle 02 - Kitchen

Raj and Stuart, completely by accident, discovered Bernadette had been posting pictures of herself in various states of undress to a particular men's website. After an afternoon of sex and photographs, they convinced Bernadette to branch off and create a charge site of her own and volunteered to help her with it, in more ways than one. They decided for the next photo shoot, they needed a third man to act strictly as photographer. Their first session got, shall we say, a little busy.

Bernadette answered the door wearing a white cotton bathrobe. "Hi, guys! Oh, you brought Leonard. Hi, Leonard!"

As they walked into the house, Raj asked, "So, how's the website going?"

Bernadette's face brightened. "Oh my gosh! It's going great! I've got so many fans! And getting more every day!"

"So, what's this website about? Cooking tips?" Leonard asked.

Bernadette looked at Stuart and Raj. "You didn't tell him?"

Raj smiled and nodded. "Nooooo. We thought we'd surprise him."

"Yeah. All they told me was we'd be taking some pictures in the kitchen. I don't know why you need three guys for that."

Bernadette's face lit up again. "Oh! It's a website..."

Raj cut her off. "Tips in the kitchen. Exactly. That's it exactly." He looked at Bernadette. "Are you ready? Do you have everything?"

"Yeah, I think so. Everything's in the kitchen." They walked into the kitchen. Leonard was expecting to see cooking utensils and such spread across the round table in the center of the kitchen and countertops. All he saw was a small digital camera in the center of the table. "There's the camera, Leonard. I know it's not much, but it does the trick."

"Well, let's get started then," Raj said. "Do you have the pancakes?"

"Yes, I premade some pancakes. They're over here in the frying pan. Is that where you want to start?"

"I think that's a good a place as any," Stuart chimed in. Raj and Stuart took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Ready, Leonard?" Raj asked. Leonard nodded and held up the camera, bored already. "Okay, let's go ahead and get that robe off, Bernadette. Nice and slooooow."

Bernadette nodded and smiled, then looked sexily into the camera. Just as requested, the robe began to slowly fall away. Leonard saw more and more skin being revealed through the lens. Finally, the robe slipped off her arms and she tossed it onto the table. She was wearing nothing but a tiny red apron that barely covered any of her front and nothing of her back. All three men's jaws dropped.

"Wow!" Raj and Stuart said in unison.

"Whaaaaaat?!" Leonard asked.

Bernadette was quite pleased at their reactions. "You like?"

"Are you kidding me?!" Raj asked.

"Wow! Just...wow!" Stuart muttered.

"What...what...what's going on?" Leonard asked in shock.

Raj looked at him with a smile. "Just keep taking the pictures, dude." Raj turned his attention to Bernadette. "Okay, now act like you're making those pancakes, okay? Make sure we get to see that sweet ass and lots of side boob."

Bernadette nodded. "Okay." She did exactly as asked, turned away slowly until she was sideways to the camera, expertly flipping the previously made pancakes in the now cold frying pan. She occasionally stopped and looked sexily over her shoulder at the camera and the boys. "Like that?" she asked.

"That's great!" Stuart exclaimed.

"Perrrrrfect, Bernadette. I think we've got what we need there, don't you, Leonard." Leonard could only squeak. "Right. Moving on. I think next we should show them your boobies and, you know, uh, down there. Maybe push the top of the apron between your boobies and pull the bottom of the apron to the side."

The top of the apron disappeared into her more-than-ample cleavage, revealing two perfectly round mounds of white flesh with two half dollar areolas dead center encircling two gumdrop-sized erect nipples. She massaged her breasts and pinched her nipples while the men watched. Then she pulled the bottom of the apron to the side, revealing a pair of pink, swollen lips and a blonde landing strip of pubic hair just above them. Leonard stopped breathing for a moment. She bit her lip when she began to rub and probe her freshly exposed skin.

The men enjoyed the show until Raj snapped them out of it. "Yeah, okay, (ahem), that was great, Bernadette. Now, uh, why don't you take that spatula and rub it against, you know, you're, uh..."

"Oh! Okay, sure," Bernadette replied. She gasped at the first touch of the cold metal to her hot snatch. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip while she slowly slid it up and down on her raised bean. She began to quietly moan. Without even thinking about it, Raj and Stuart had their rigid rods out of their pants and in their hands.

Stuart broke the silence. "Wow, that's great, Bernadette. Just greeeeeat."

Her eyes slowly opened. She pulled the handle away from her hot body. "Really? You think so?" Stuart could only nod. She turned to Leonard. "What do you think, Leonard? How does it look in the camera?"

"I...I...what the fuck is happening?!"

"It...it was perfect, Bernadette," Raj injected. He looked at Leonard with an amused smile. "Bernadette has her started her own adult website and we're building content."

"You're kidding," Leonard said in disbelief.

"Oh no!" Bernadette said giddily. "I'm making oodles of money! And we just got started!"

"Does Howard know about this?" Leonard asked.

Bernadette's face and tone did a 180 degree turn. "No! And you'd better not tell him, buster!"

The tone startled Leonard. "No no! Not a word!" He ran his fingers across his lips as if he was zipping them.

Raj stepped in. "Okay, let's get to it. So, uh, did you get...oh yes, I see it there. Have you been practicing with the banana?" Leonard's eyebrows flew up.

"Oh yes! I've gotten pretty good at it! Is that what you want to do next?"

"Yes, please," Stuart moaned.

"I, uh, (ahem), yes, let's do that. Make sure you lick it like, you know, you would a..."

"Right, right, I got it!" Bernadette said cheerily.

Leonard watched through the viewfinder as Bernadette raised the yellow phallus to her lips and ran her tongue along it, tip to tip. She repeated this two more times. Finally, she slipped it through her parted lips.

"Leonard! Dude! Watch this! It's amazing! Make sure you get some good pictures of it!" Raj implored.

Leonard was mesmerized. "Oh! Uh, yeah, sure!" The banana slid into Bernadette's face. She tilted her head back. It continued to disappear. Leonard's jaw dropped watching her throat expand to take on the shape of the fruit. "Whaaaaaaat?!"

She stopped when over ¾'s of the yellow had sank into her face and paused. Then she slowly pulled it out. "How was that?" she asked sincerely.

"Amazing!" Stuart exclaimed.

"What...what...what the hell?" Leonard asked, stunned at the events so far.

Bernadette gave a crooked smile at Raj and Stuart stroking their sticks. "Looks like you guys are enjoying it."

Raj nodded. "Oh yes! Very much!" He took a breath. "So, uh, what do you think about, you know, uh, taking the banana, and, you know, sticking it up, you know, you're hoochie." Stuart watched anxiously for her response. Leonard thought to himself, Is he asking her to do what I think he's asking her to do?

Bernadette's eyebrows furrowed. "You mean my pussy? Guys don't think that's slutty? Or freaky?"

"Oh no! Guys love that stuff!" Stuart volunteered. "Er, well, so I've heard," he muttered under his breath.

Raj looked at his friend. "Dude, give it up already." He turned back to Bernadette. "No, I think your fans will love it! Why don't you take off that apron so they can see your perfect, milky white skin before you, uh, do it."

Bernadette smiled. "Awwwww, you think I have perfect skin? That's so sweet!" The apron quickly joined her robe on the table. There she stood before them, naked as the day she was born.

Leonard swallowed hard. "Wow."

Bernadette considered the banana. "Are you sure about this, Raj? I mean, I know Howie gets off on stuff like this, but he's a freak."

Raj nodded. "Positive."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Alrighty, if you say so."

She leaned back against the counter, lowered the phallus between her legs, and spread them. She bit her bottom lip and squeaked when the rough tip touch her swollen lips. She gave a light gasp when it slipped through her gash. She stopped at three inches and brought it back out. Back in it went. Six inches. She withdrew and slowly slid back in. Six inches. Back out. Her eyes closed and her head tilted back. She moaned while the banana slid back in. There was a collective gasp when all but the stem was left visible.

"Are you getting this, Leonard? You'd better be getting this!" Raj whispered.

"Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Ohhhhhh yeah!"

"Ohmagawd," Bernadette quietly moaned. Without encouragement, she began to slide the bright fruit in and out of her slick slit. The pace quickened. Her moans grew louder with the pace. Her hips began to buck slightly. "Ohmagawd...ohmagawd..." she panted. She pumped harder. "Oh...oh...oh God! Ohmagawd! I...I...I'm gonna cum!"

Raj cheered her on. "Do it, Bernadette, do it! Let yourself go!"

Her tiny body began to jerk. "Oh God! Oh God! Ohhhhhhhh God! Cumming! Cumming! Ahhhhhh!"

The three men tried not to cum themselves while they watched her juices run down the insides of her thighs. She moaned and groaned while she continued to pump the curved phallus in and out of her snatch.

She finally withdrew the insert and laid it on the counter behind her. It was much shinier than the last time they had seen it. She was leaning against the countertop and panting.

"Oh wow! I got a little carried away. I've never cum like that, you know, with a fruit before. I mean, I fake it for Howie. But, wow! Sorry about that, guys."

"Don't worry about it!"

"No problem!"

"It's all good!"

She smiled. "You guys are great." She took a deep breath. "Okay, what's next?"

Raj gathered his thoughts. "Oh, right! Uh, well, you got the can of whipped cream, right? How about you shoot some of that onto your boobies?"

"Oh, okay! It's in the fridge."

"Make sure you bend over and show us that incredible heart-shaped ass of yours, Bernadette," Raj instructed.

"Awwww, you think I have an incredible ass? You are just the sweetest thing!"

She opened the refrigerator door and bent at the waist, looking back at the camera with a wicked grin. The light from the refrigerator gave her body a warm glow. She reached in. Her puckered brown eye stared at the camera. Swollen pink lips were clearly visible. She pulled back from inside and closed the door holding a red and white can. The men joyfully watched her tits jiggle when she began to shake it.

"So, you want me to spray this on my tits?" she asked.

Raj nodded. "Yes, please. Oh! And then lick some off."

"Gotcha!" The sound of aerosol leaving the tube filled the room, followed by the sound of the white foam splashing against her skin. She jumped. "Oh! That's cold!" They didn't think it was possible for her nipples to get harder and larger. They were proven wrong.

"That's great, Bernadette! Now, uh, now try to, you know, lick some off."

Bernadette bowed her head and lifted a breast. In a matter of seconds, she was lapping the white cream off her massive mounds like a cat lapping at a bowl of milk.

"Oh wooooooow," Stuart groaned.

Leonard gulped. "Wow."

Before long, the once fluffy foam was melting and streaking through her cleavage and down her taut stomach.

Raj stopped her. "Okay, I think that's good, Bernadette. What do you think, Leonard?"

"I, uh, I, wow, yeah, I think...yeah."

"Okay, Bernadette, why don't you come over here and sit on the table?" Raj suggested, patting on the table in front of him. Bernadette took the few steps to him. Her tits bounced when she lifted herself onto the table. He took the can from her hands.

"Now what?" she asked innocently.

"Well, I was thinking you could lay back and I'd put some of this whipped cream on your, you know, there, and then lick it off."

The corners of her lips curled. "You mean you want to spray some of this whipped cream on my pussy? And then eat my pussy? Is that what you mean, Raj?" she cooed.

"Well, uh, yeah," he said hesitantly.

"Mmmmmm, good. I was hoping that's what you meant." She fell back onto her robe on the table. Raj pointed the tip of the can at his target. She jumped when the cold cream hit her hot "V". "Oh!" she squealed.

Raj stared at the area covered in white. It was already beginning to melt. "I've been wanting to do this forevah," he murmured.

She looked over her fleshy mounds and down at him. "And I've been wanting you to," she purred. "So what are you waiting....oh heavenly father! Mmmmmmmm, oh yeah!" Before she could finish her sentence, Raj's face was buried between her legs. His tongue dove in and out of her slit and raked across her kernel. She began to run her hands through his dark, thick hair. Her body squirmed on the table. "Ohmagawd, Raj! That feels so good!"

Stuart stood up from his seat. His incredible cock hovered over Bernadette's face. It didn't match his body at all. It looked like a fine artisan had sculpted it with painstaking care. The skin tone was perfect. It was a work of art.

"Don't forget about me!" he begged. He shivered when she reached up and wrapped her tiny hand around it.

"How could I forget about that beautiful cock of yours, Stuart? I haven't stopped thinking about it since last time!"

"Oh! Wow! Really? Most women can't stop thinking about me quickly enough."

"Well, I'm not like most women," she whirred.

Stuart nodded. "You can say that again!"

"Stop talking and just give it to me, Stuart."

Raj's face followed Bernadette's body as Stuart pulled her back until her head was hanging over the edge of the table. She leaned her head back and licked her lips.

Just before Stuart touched his tip to her waiting lips, he turned to Leonard. "Make sure you get some pictures of this! It's incredible! I mean, it's mind blowing!"

Leonard watched through the lens as Stuart entered her hungry mouth. And went. And went. And went. Until his balls were finally resting on her eyelids. Her throat took on the shape of his masterpiece.

"Wow. Oh wow," Leonard exhaled.

Stuart's head went back. "That's. Fucking. Awesome!" Don't cum! Don't cum! Don't die! Don't cum!

Leonard clicked away while Stuart abused Bernadette's vocal cords and Raj's face bobbed in her lap. Stuart mauled her massive mounds while Raj wrapped his arms around her thighs in a futile effort to hold her still. Soon, he released one thigh and slipped his hand under. She jumped when two of his thick digits sliced through her slash like a knife through butter. She moaned and groaned louder and longer while his tongue concentrated on her quivering bean.

The table bounced on the floor when her body began to jerk on it. "Mmmmppppffffff! Mmmmmppppfffff!" she gagged while Raj licked her clean. A streak of electricity was racing up her thighs. Her button was vibrating under Raj's tongue. He knew what was coming. He sucked her nob between his lips and swatted it with his tongue. She nearly levitated off the table. "Mmmmmmmmmm! Mmmmmmmfffffff!"

Waves of electricity rolled through her body as the orgasm over took her. Her body jerked and leapt on the table while Stuart stuffed her throat and Raj stabbed her slit. Her mind was going blank. She finally gathered the will to push Raj out of her lap with her hands and spit Stuart out of her mouth.

Her chest heaved. "Ohmagawd!" she panted.

Raj gave her an evil look. "Oh, we're not done yet, missy."

"Wait...what?" she asked.

"Yeah, what?" Leonard echoed.

Raj stood up. Raj and Stuart had their missiles pointed at Bernadette.

"Oh...oh my!" Bernadette moaned. "You mean, after all of that, you guys haven't, you know, finished?"

Raj and Stuart both shook their heads. "Noooooooooo," Raj said with a crooked smile.

Bernadette smiled back. "Well, we can't have you walking around with those, can we? After all, with everything you're doing for me, I guess it's only fair."

Leonard's head was swimming. "Wait! What's not done? What's fair?"

The trio looked at him.

"You knoooooow," Raj said with a smile.

Leonard stared at them. He knew, but he couldn't believe it, even after everything he'd seen today. "Know? Know what?"

Stuart looked at him in disbelief. "Dude!"

Bernadette looked at him with the sexiest, naughtiest look he'd ever gotten. Not even from Penny. "They're going to fuck me, Leonard. They're going to fuck me good and hard with their big, fat cocks while you watch and take pictures of it. Okay?"

"But...but...what about Howard?! I mean, the licking, and the, you know, the sucking, that's one thing. But sex? Actual sex?!"

"Fuck Howard," she growled. "If he wasn't off playing his space games all the time and, you know, had a man's cock, we wouldn't be here today! But, since he is and he doesn't, I've got needs! Is that okay with you, bub?!"

Leonard flinched. "Uh...uh...yeah, sure."

Stuart looked at Leonard. "Dude, she's a total slut! Just like Howard's been telling us!"

Ever the peacemaker, Raj chimed. "Okay, okay, let's all take a breath. We're just going to, you know, have sex with Bernadette now, okay? Let's all just simmer down," he said calmly.

Bernadette snapped her head around. "Sex?! Just have sex?! You'd better fuck me, and fuck me good those big, fat cocks! Got it?!"

Raj held up his hands. "Sure sure! Got it." He nodded at Stuart. "We're going to fuck her good with our big, fat cocks, right, Stuart?"

Stuart nodded his head aggressively. "Yeah yeah! Absolutely! Good and hard!"

"Good!" Bernadette barked. "Now that we've got that straight, Stuart, climb you're boney ass up on the table and get underneath me." For a second, it looked like they were wrestling with each other on the table, but Stuart eventually positioned himself under her. She grabbed his thick shaft and started to lower herself down.

"Wait!" Raj cried out. Everyone froze. "Leonard, get in here. Make sure you get some good pictures while he slides into her ass!"

"Oh yeah! The guys seem to love those pictures!" Bernadette squeaked.

"Well, no wonder! Who wouldn't?!" Stuart chimed in. "I wish they could feel it. Your ass feels amazing!"

Bernadette turned her head to look at him. Her eyes sparkled. "Awwww, look at you, you sweet talker you. You say the sweetest things! Just for the record, you feel amazing in my ass, too."

Stuart blushed. "Awww, shucks, you're just saying that."

Leonard moved in close. The camera was almost between the two bodies. Bernadette resumed lowering her body. She stopped when Stuart's swollen tip touched her puckered rosebud. She bit her bottom lip and held him steady. She gasped when the tip slipped in. She paused and took a deep breath. They both loudly moaned the rest of the slide until she was in his lap while the camera clicked and whirred.

"Oh sweet Jesus, Stuart! You're so fucking huge!"

"Geez, Bernadette! Your...your ass is so tight!"

Bernadette slowly leaned back until she was laying on top of Stuart. Raj pulled Leonard over. "Dude! Get some pictures of her clit! You won't believe it! Get some pictures before I split this shit!" Bernadette gasped when Raj touched her sensitive lips and spread them apart, laying bear her quivering bean.

Leonard leaned in. "That...that...that's amazing!"

Bernadette could feel his hot breath rushing across her exposed kernel. "Ohmagawd, guys, you're torturing me! Please, Raj, I'm begging you, fuck me with that big caramel cock of yours already!"

"Okay, hold on, hold on. Just a couple of pictures." The camera clicked. "You got it?" Leonard nodded. "Okay, cool." He moved in between her legs. She nibbled her bottom lip when he touched his bulbous head to her puffy lips. Raj smiled down at her. "Time to wreck this shit," he hissed.