Best Friends Ch. 01

"Jason honey it is so nice to see you, what happened? Sweetheart what did she do that could be so bad?"

I was trying to stay strong and not let my emotions show. "I don't want to talk about it mum. Can we just leave it? I just want you to get better."

"No sweetheart we can't just forget, the only way is to talk about it. It was Chris wasn't it?"

I just nodded my head, and swallowed.

She sighed deeply shaking her head in disgust. "The stupid girl, what happened Jason, are they having an affair?"

"I don't know mum, it's only the once that I know about for sure, but god knows maybe it was going on all the time under my nose. I just don't know. All I know is that right now I hate her and I'm never talking to her again."

She opened her arms and we hugged again, she whispered huskily. "Honey you know she's pregnant don't you?"

"What!" I just about fell over in shock, suddenly my knees were shaking and I could barely breathe let alone stand up.

I shook my head. "No mum I don't believe it, she is just trying to trick me."

"Honey I wouldn't lie to you. She might, but you know I wouldn't. She told me yesterday, apparently she has known for weeks."

I tried to change the subject asking her about the operation and how she was feeling.

She sighed. "Well they tell me that I am going to be OK. I have to have chemotherapy and radiation therapy but apparently the prognosis is positive."

She dragged the conversation back to Cassie and me. "Jason what ever happened and I don't mean to make light of whatever it was, surely the love you share can get past this? I mean there has always been tension between the three of you. She cheated and that's wrong I will not defend her, but sweetheart think about the future. The world doesn't need another single parent family."

Her cavalier attitude was a bit galling, I just sat there thinking, shit it might not even be mine...

Mum read me like a book. "Jason don't even think it honey that baby is yours I know it is. She isn't that stupid at least talk to her."

I asked if Cassie had spoken to her about what happened.

She shook her head. "No honey I put two and two together. Have you spoken to Chris?"

"No, not since I saw the two of them together no."

"So it was you who beat him up?"

"Yes it was me, and I would do it all over again given the chance. Who else knows about the pregnancy?"

"She has told your family, I know your dad is angry he thinks you got scared and ran away from your responsibilities, he doesn't know about Chris, She won't say anything about that. Jason you know nobody is perfect. The night of your bachelor's party, to this day Cassie still thinks you had sex with those strippers."

I flopped forward. "What, how could she think that? I told her nothing happened. That was bloody Chris's idea I asked him not to."

She smiled softly. "Sweetheart it doesn't matter whether it did or it didn't happen. In her eyes it did and she is still convinced you cheated and I had to talk to her for days to assure her you wouldn't do that to her. Honey I know you didn't do anything, I have always known that."

She looked at me with that loving gentle smile. "Jason I am not defending her, I am just saying she was prepared to forgive you."

"But I didn't do anything." I whined.

"Don't you understand Jason she thinks you did and that is as bad as if you had? Even so, she still forgave you."

The next day I got a nasty call message from Cass. 'Why did you tell Mum about Chris and me, now she hates me.' Good job, I mused to myself. After mum's statement about the strippers I did some hard thinking, could I forgive her? If nothing else we did need to talk I owed her that at least.

I went around to our house and knocked on the door. When she saw me she threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tight. "Baby thank god you are home."

I tried to prise her off but she hung on for all she was worth.

"Cassie I haven't come home, I came here today because we need to talk. Your mum told me you are pregnant. I only came around to tell you I will be there to support the child. I will try to be a good father and be in its life as much as I can."

She wilted like a flower in the boiling sun and I felt her go limp in my arms, as she pulled away. "Oh I see. When did mum tell you?"

We were sitting at the table in silence just staring at each other.

In the end I couldn't take it. "Why Cassie why, why did you do that to me?"

"I don't know Jay. I suppose the truth is I fantasised about it for years. Jay, when we were young and doing everything together I always imagined the three of us together, Jay I went from living with my parents to living with you. Christ I never even went on a date with any other guys."

I interrupted. "Neither did I Cass."

She sighed deeply. "Jay you know how close we are." She paused to catch her breath. "It all started when you had your flat and he brought those girls around. We laid in bed listening to all those screams and moans coming from his room. Well I just wondered, what would it be like, the three of us together."

I sat there listening to her confession as she sobbed hysterically.

"Jay, our love making is wonderful but I built up this fantasy about the three of us together in a threesome. I was too scared to mention it to you in case you thought I was a weirdo or pervert. But then that night we were all in bed together. One minute we were tucked up in bed and we were snuggling, then there were lips kissing me and hands caressing me, I was so sleepy and drunk I didn't even know who was pulling my clothes off at first I didn't realise it wasn't you. Yes I figured it out before I started to play with you but by then I was so worked up I convinced myself you would love the idea as much as me, Chris was your brother. I don't know why, it was stupid and every time I replay it in my mind I realise how stupid I was. I am so sorry; I never meant to hurt you. Can you ever forgive me? I know it sounds weird and fucked up but I really thought you might like it I really did."

"How many times Cassie? No more lying. How many times have you had sex with him?"

She was shaking, trembling, "You have to believe me that was the only time. You must know I would never do that to you!"

"Fuck Cassie, I don't know anything anymore. I thought I could trust you with my heart and I was wrong."

"Jay, I promise on my father's grave that is the only time. Apart from that night you are the only person I have ever had sex with."

"Have you seen him lately?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yes, I go and visit most days just to see if he is OK." I think she saw the grim look on my face. "Jay it's only to see he is OK, we only talk and all he asks is if you are coming to visit. Honey he really misses you."

Over the next couple of weeks I spent most of my spare time at Cass's mum's house getting it ready for her return from the hospital. I mowed her lawns and kept it tidy. It was hard because Chris's mum and dad saw me as they drove past giving me the evil eye. I couldn't blame them but it still hurt.

My Mother couldn't believe that I walked out on Cass, but she promised to support me as best she could. She spent every day with Cassie and her mum. The reality is I think she loves Cassie more than me, they have always been close. She had always wanted two children and pined for a daughter.

I was trying to do the right thing at home as well. I mowed lawns and kept the place tidy. In my head I justified it by convincing myself I needed to keep the resale value high. Cassie was still working but with every passing day she was finding it more difficult. Whilst I was there fixing a blocked drain she asked if I would go to the gynaecologist with her for her next visit, I reluctantly agreed I did want to make a difference and support her. I wanted to be a proper parent. I didn't want my child growing up without a father.

We sat in the doctor's office listening intently as she told us what to expect during the pregnancy and about the process, she took x-rays and sonograms. I asked whether she could give us a possible birthdate yet.

She smiled and started to work through the time frame, when she mentioned the baby's probable birth date I started doing my mental arithmetic and as I did I froze, I think I went into shock. "Hang on doc, back up the bus," I muttered. "You are telling me the birth date will be around the 23rd of January?"

She nodded smiling, "I can't give an exact day or time you know Jason, but it's on or about that date yes."

I tried to get control of my breathing. "So that means the conception date was in April round about the 10th?"

She looked a little puzzled and did some quick calculations. "Yes Jason that is correct," she smiled. "Was that a special date for you two?"

I stood up flinging my chair back roughly sending it flying across the room. "Is it too late for an abortion?"

"What!" Cassie screamed. "Jason what are you saying? Jason oh my god why would you say that?" She started crying. "Jason I am not having an abortion."

Ignoring Cassie I asked the doc again. "Well doc is it still possible to have an abortion?"

She looked horrified as well. She was looking at me with a very worried expression. She reached out and picked up my hand. "Jason its OK lots of parents get cold feet, just relax and we can talk."

"No doc, I need to know, is it possible?"

She looked confused. "Jason not ten minutes ago you were happy and looking forward to this. Yes an abortion is still possible, but why would you want to?"

I couldn't hold it in. "Because Doc my wife had sex with another man on that date that's why." I slammed my fist down on her desk making her jump. "I am not raising another man's bastard baby. I want an abortion, and I want it as soon as possible."

Cassie sat with her head in her hands staring at the floor. "Jason, this is our baby, honey I took a pregnancy test the week before that party, baby the party was supposed to be a celebration, I was so happy and excited that night. I was waiting for the right moment to tell you. I wanted to tell you that night honey there is no question this is our baby."

"No Cassie, that's bullshit, I don't buy it." I turned back to the doc and asked about the abortion procedure as Cassie sat there crying.

The Doc started to discuss the procedure, but Cassie cut her off curtly. "No I am not having an abortion Jason, this is our baby. There is no doubt. What if I had an abortion and it ruined our chances of having another baby in the future? What if this our only chance to have a baby? Why take the chance. Jay this is ours please you have to believe me."

I shook my head as I paced angrily around the office. "Cassie I am not going to be involved in raising that pricks baby, I will not be around. If you go through with this and it's not mine you will be raising this baby on your own if Chris won't stand by you. This isn't an idle threat Cassie it's a fucking promise." I glanced at the doc who was grimacing as she watched on in horror. "Sorry about the language doc." I apologised.

She smiled thinly. "Its OK Jason I can understand your concern."

The doctor focused on Cassie. "Honey we have come a long way in the medical world, I can assure you both that there is minimal chance of spoiling future chances of conception through undergoing an abortion. I would never under normal circumstances be promoting this but knowing how your husband feels perhaps it is something you should at least consider?"

Cassie shook her head violently. "Jason I don't know why you won't believe me this baby is ours and will be beautiful and strong. We can't take away a life. Jason I promise you, this is our baby."

The doc convinced her that we needed to both be on board with whichever plan we decided on. She suggested we go home and think about it. We still had a small window of opportunity if we chose abortion. We needed to talk and make a decision we were both happy with.

As I drove Cassie back home she cried and sobbed, begged and pleaded.

I argued why take the chance. In the end I was so sick of the arguing I just gave in. "OK Cassandra, it's your body you do what you want, but I promise you if it isn't mine and Chris doesn't stand up you will be a solo mum."

She was adamant that it wasn't even something we needed to consider. This was our baby full stop.

When I told her I would get DNA tests done she shrieked. "WHY! we don't need them, this is our baby."

Over the next few weeks' things sort of slipped back into a routine. I visited her at nights after work.

My lawyer rang to confirm we needed a court date as Cassie was contesting the divorce. I begged Cass to just sign the papers so we could move on but she refused. "Jason I will fight this every inch of the way."

Cassie's lawyer argued that we needed to wait until after the baby's birth. As you would expect the court agreed and our hearing was put on hold.

This was such a difficult time for me. Cassie tried every day to get me to move home but I refused. I wanted to be there for our child if it was ours but the pain was to intense. Time... That fucker played its part. With every passing day being around Cass and watching the bump get bigger it was impossible to not be affected and I even started to consider her pleas, I just couldn't live with what she did, forgiveness doesn't come that easy. The overriding problem was I didn't want our child to live in a single parent home.

I helped Cassie paint the nursery and we spent time out shopping for necessities such as a crib and of course clothes and linen. I went with Cass to all of the antenatal classes and to see the midwife. It was hard watching all of the loving happy couples together. Especially when it got to the breathing lessons and I had to hold her hand and help her to breathe.

Financially things were harder than ever. All this new stuff to buy, medical expenses and trying to maintain two places was stretching us to the limit.

Cassie was down in the dumps, constantly sad and bad tempered. She was working part time and spending as much time with her mum. She was worn out. Our separation only exasperated it.

Cassie's mums return from hospital seemed to brighten her up. They spent a lot of time together supporting each other. I stopped going to her mums place because she refused to stop preaching about getting back together.

Cassie kept seeing Chris even though it pissed me off. She visited him regularly as he recovered. I told her never to let him onto our property, however one night after work I called in to see if she needed anything, and there was a strange BMW parked in the driveway. When I got inside Chris was sitting at the table talking to Cassie. The moment I saw him I turned and slammed the door walking out.

They both ran out after me and Chris caught me just as I was climbing into my truck. "Jay please wait, I just want to talk, please mate."

I flung off his arm and turned quickly knocking him to the ground and it took all my powers of self-control to not beat him to death. As he lay on the ground I screamed. "Stay away from me and my family arsehole, or there will be more of that."

Cassie just stood holding her swollen stomach, "Jay please."

I just backed out and drove away. It took me weeks to regain control of my emotions.

The big day finally arrived. I was at work when Cassie rang. I raced over and picked her up and drove her to hospital as fast as we could, on arrival she was taken straight into the delivery ward.

I stayed with her the whole time. I held her hand throughout the birth and even cut the umbilical cord. It was painful and wonderful watching the birth of our first child. We had watched videos and been to all the antenatal classes together but it doesn't fully prepare you for the reality of it. I watched Cassie as her face wracked with pain, and her body convulsing wildly as she tried to push the baby out. Then it was all over the baby was out and the doctors and nurses whisked the baby away to be cleaned quickly before bring her back and placing her in her mother's arms.

Cassie smiled and looked contented all her pain forgotten as she stared lovingly down into the baby's eyes, I can't explain the look on her face it was like all the pain she had just endured had vanished. Cassie was euphoric holding her daughter in her arms gently cradling her, with such a loving embrace. She held her hand out to me with a huge expectant smile. "Jay honey come and hold her. Come and look at our beautiful new baby daughter."

There were tears of joy in her eyes, her face looked so elated. But the moment I stared down into that babies face I just knew it wasn't mine, I didn't need DNA tests I just knew. Without saying a word I turned away and headed for the door. She cried out. "Jaaaaasonnnn..." but I just kept walking my paces growing longer with every step, I burst out the front doors into the fresh night air. Taking in huge gulps of air I staggered over to the bus stop and collapsed. I sat for ages catching my breath trying to get my mind together.

Cassie's mum came running breathlessly out after me. "Jason, what's the matter love? Is something wrong? Honey come back in and hold her."

I just grimaced. "Mum she is not mine."

She looked horrified. "Don't be ridiculous...you don't know that love, you are just being paranoid."

"No I can see it in her face that baby is not mine, that is Chris's baby."

We sat for a time just staring into space, neither talking, eventually she said. "Jason that is a gorgeous little girl and you are imagining things, she is yours... Do not think otherwise."

She dragged me against my will back inside, where Cassie sat beside the basinet rocking the baby with a big smile on her face.

When she saw me she asked. "Jay what's the matter? Why did you walk out? She is such a beautiful little thing, Just look at her. She is so tiny and gorgeous."

I didn't want to say anything while her mum was there.

Mum hugged me tight, trying to reassure me. "Jason she is just perfect." Her smile was huge she was radiant and happy. "Jason she is the splitting image of you."

That was it, now I couldn't hold it back. "No she isn't mum she is the splitting image of Chris. This baby isn't mine." I could see the look of horror spread across Cassie's face. Her face turned to stone as she absorbed my words.

I stared angrily at her. "I told you I wouldn't raise Chris's baby but you wouldn't listen you had to do things your way. You better ring Chris and tell him the good news."

Cassie bawled. "Don't be ridiculous look at her. She is ours, yours and mine. Please don't even say it, Jason you are just being silly."

I stood rooted to the spot shaking my head. "The DNA test will confirm it but I am telling you this child is not mine."

"Baby please we don't say that, we do not need a DNA test mum tell him, please tell him. Tell him she is ours."

Mum peered up at me hopefully through hooded brows. "Surely this isn't the time for this. She is a beautiful baby and by blood or not she is yours, once you hold her in your arms you will realise."

"No mum, she is not mine, you can see it as well as I can, don't lie to me, I trust you and expect better from you."

She held me close, "Honey I can't tell by looking at her. When I look at her all I can say is she is beautiful, nobody knows looking at babies whether they look like anybody. She does resemble you," she sighed optimistically.

"Well the DNA test will be the proof of the pudding." I mumbled.

I walked out stopping at the reception desk where I managed to wipe the smiles of their faces as well as I snarled. "Do not put my name on the birth certificate." Once home I locked myself in as the calls of congratulations filtered in.