All Comments on 'Best Friend's Kid Sister'

Dan was just too nice, too considerate. She on the other hand was a little syrupy sweet but I could see that in her shy character. In any event I really liked this story. It was great romantic escapism. Well done.

This was a nice story. Please keep writing. I do have to say that the dialogue between the main characters was stiff, stilted, formal...not at all the way 2 people falling in love would actually talk to each other. A good editor would be a huge help with this and make a good story even better. Thanks.

Not a bad story over all but stop using the word womb as another word for vagina. A woman's womb is her uterus not her vagina and a mans penis will not pass through the cervix as the cervical opening is less than 1/2 a milimeter in diameter during normal time(not dialating during birth)

Put it in the bin and don't write any more

I liked the premise of the story, which had great potential, but the writing style made it almost painful too read. The dialog is just too unbelievable. No one talks that way, especially old friends.

The premise was interesting, but it read like two actors quoting lines in some undiscovered Shakespeare play; very stilted. Use dialogue that is a little more down to earth and I think you will be more successful.

I wish real love was like this. It was beautiful. But we all know this isn't real life. But every woman can dream :)

Most stories or tales here are not so clean cut worded, it gave a eloquent view of what two old friends might do but doubt it would happen this way in todays world. I have to say that it was a nice little break from some of the raunchy stories, please try writing somemore.

TOO many comma's, like, way, too, many. You broke sentences up with commas that didn't need it, made it difficult to read. I'd like to give you higher than a 3, but the comma's took so much away from it.

Gave me a migraine. 1 star.

....the wording felt stiff. It felt like something out of 19th century England.

I loved it. The story was very descriptive. Eventhough we don't go through the methods that Dan and Cindy did to define and show love doesn't mean the story was bad. We could use some of their methods instead of rushing into the sack then get heart broken in the end.

The Cheese!

So much cheese, its everywhere!

I agree with so many of the other commentators.

I managed to read the first and last page. Nobody talks like that.

And womb? Ugh !