Best Man's Duties

"I don't want to bribe you, nor to suggest that you would lose for money..."

Jacob's expression of horror showed that would be impossible.

"...but what I want is the duel to be a demonstration, as it would be between two villagers. The bridegroom or his champion always wins, doesn't he?"

"Yes. Unless he is not the bride's choice. If the village thinks the girl's father is forcing her to marry, the challenger might really try to defeat the bridegroom."

"Has that happened often?"

"No. Once, about thirty years ago was the last. The bride's father owed the groom's father too much money. He was really selling his daughter to the groom in exchange for his debts being written off. The bridegroom was nearly as unpleasant as his father -- and lost the duel. The village elders were very angry with the groom's father and bought out the debt."

"So what can I do to convince you to make the duel a demonstration, Jacob? You want to be Gerald's brother in law after you marry Sophia. Irina wants Gerald. He's her choice. Sophia wants you. A real duel could wreck the chances for both marriages."

"But I can't marry Sophia. I don't have enough land to support us. I can't buy or rent land because any spare land locally is owned by a syndicate from the capital. It's a shame because no local will take on that land even as tenants. The owners want too much money to lease it out but they aren't getting anything for it now."

I asked Jacob for details of the syndicate which he gave.

"I'll try to buy some land from them, Jacob. If I do I'll discuss with the village elders how to rent it out including to you. The rent would be fair and you might have enough land to marry Sophia. Would that help?"

"Yes, but I'd be your tenant, Ralph."

"But not Gerald's. It wouldn't be a bribe to you from him but a sensible arrangement for the whole village. You could consider it as a present from me to the village to celebrate Gerald and Irina's wedding."

"If you can buy the land and if I can rent some at a price I can afford, then we have a deal. The duel will be a demonstration and I will take a nominal cut from your sabre. But can you do it in time, Ralph?"

"I'll see. Wait a minute or two, please."

I took out my mobile phone. It took a few seconds to get a signal. I rang General Victor and asked him to get me to the capital quickly. He surprised me. A helicopter will arrive in twenty minutes. I'll be in the capital a quarter of an hour later and the helicopter will wait for me to return.

I went outside with Jacob. I had to ask for help from some of the village women who took brooms to mark a large H in the dirt at the centre of the village square. Five minutes after they had finished a black armoured helicopter landed. I asked Jacob to tell Gerald and Irina that I would be back soon.

We left in a cloud of spray. At the capital we landed beside the river at a heliport. I took a taxi to the office building that housed the property syndicate. The receptionist was reluctant to let me talk to anyone until I gave my local name and my rank as Major. That and General Victor's name got me in to see the chairman of the syndicate.

He was startled that I wanted to buy the syndicate's land around the village. His secretary hurriedly brought the file. They had bought the land ten years earlier but had never made a single coin in income from it. We haggled over price. He wanted a profit of twenty per cent on the purchase price. I offered ten per cent. I waited in his secretary's office while he telephoned the other members of the syndicate. Eventually we agreed that I would pay the original purchase price plus fourteen per cent plus all the legal fees for the transfer. Those pieces of land were a small and useless part of their large property portfolio and I think the chairman was pleased to have sold it.

As a local Major I had retained a firm of lawyers in the capital even if I hadn't used them for several years. Within an hour the syndicate's lawyers and mine had drawn up a provisional sale. My rank as Major in the country's forces overcame any problems that might have existed for a foreigner. All that would be necessary was for the purchase to be officially registered and the tax paid. I arranged a bank transfer to my lawyers. They would do everything for me and I would own the land outright by the end of the week, but I could take temporary possession now. I hadn't expected things to move that fast but I was pleased. As the helicopter lifted off I was clutching copies of the maps of the land I had bought.

Three hours after I had left the village I was back. The mid gunner handed out a long and very heavy sports bag.

"The General said that as you are in the country again, you are an officer in our army you should wear your uniform and carry arms, sir" the gunner said. "If you need more, just call him."

As soon as the helicopter was out of sight I phoned General Victor to thank him for his prompt help. At the end of the call I turned around. Almost the whole village had assembled to watch the helicopter. Some of them had obviously been frightened by it and were trying hard not to show the fear.

Back in my room I opened the sports bag. It contained my uniform, a holstered Colt 1911 with a box of ammunition, my favourite long arm - a 1950s Lee Enfield with one hundred rounds, and a modern submachine gun with a dozen magazines. There was a familiar field radio with contact details. Did General Victor think I would be starting a war? There was also a sealed envelope addressed to me with my rank and local name. I recognised his writing.

I opened it. General Victor told me that in my absence I had been made substantive in my previous acting rank as Lieutenant Colonel and promoted again to full Colonel. I hadn't noticed that on the envelope, nor on the badges on my uniform. General Victor added that his intelligence service thought that the young men of the next village intended to kidnap the bridesmaids after the wedding. The bridesmaids would be held for ransom. That had been a local tradition on Saint Basilla's Day until about twenty years ago but had stopped because it sometimes led to deaths and blood feuds. I should be careful AFTER the wedding and prepared to defend the bridesmaids. He would be sending Former Captain, now Major, 'Ginger' in command of some of the General's troops.

Major Ginger actually has a long local name beginning with 'G'. When I first fought alongside her I couldn't say her real name. We agreed, since she is a flaming redhead, that I could call her Ginger until I could pronounce her name. But the nickname Ginger stuck. It was much easier to use on command radios.

Major Ginger and her troops would not come to the wedding. They would be in the mountains above the village watching for any intruders.

General Victor wasn't telling me everything. Local lads intending to kidnap bridesmaids would be deterred by the thirty soldiers who would be already obvious in the village. Sending Major Ginger suggested that there was a far more serious threat. She was an expert in mountain warfare particularly in winter. I had learned a lot from her about the use of alpine troops. She had learned coordination with other arms such as artillery and air support from me. We respected each other as professionals, and liked each other. But there was nothing between us as a man and a woman. We were both too fiercely individual for a sexual relationship to be anything but open warfare.

My fiancée Harriet had originally been a Captain in General Victor's army but rose to become another Major. The then Captain Harriet had made it clear to then Captain Ginger that I was Harriet's man. Ginger had accepted that after she had challenged Harriet to a cat fight and had been comprehensively defeated. Ginger had thought Harriet was an effete English noblewoman, and although large, was possibly unfit and unused to unarmed fighting. I could have told Ginger hat was a mistake. Harriet is as tall as me, tough and skilled in unarmed combat, trained by her father who had been a Royal Marine Commando officer. Ginger was outclassed and outfought. It didn't take long for Ginger and Harriet to become friends with mutual respect for each other's abilities once they had defended a critical pass together. Both women were fierce intelligent fighters. I had hoped they wouldn't fight each other over me - again. Harriet would always win, except against me. I'm heavier, stronger and know more dirty tricks than she does.

Our courtship had been a matter of mutual tussles in bed which I usually won unless I let Harriet win. I would have liked her beside me during the bride capture. Harriet could defend me against the bridesmaids if there was a real struggle.

Chapter 4 - Gerald

The helicopter that took Ralph to the capital was a shock for the whole village. No helicopter had ever landed near the village. Most of them had never seen a helicopter. What they could understand was that it wasn't a civilian aircraft but a serious fighting machine.

I'm worried. Ralph was already known here by reputation under his local name. The sudden arrival of the General's helicopter frightened many of the villagers. To them Ralph seems almost a superman from a different dimension. The result of his fencing practice with Andreas had been reported to everyone. Jacob was worried. Because Jacob was worried his intended fiancée Sophia was worried, and that affected her sister Irina.

This evening Ralph came down to dinner in his Colonel's uniform with his medal bars. They showed his local decorations from the civil war and his British ones too. Some of the old soldiers were whispering among themselves. If I knew the local language as well as Ralph does I might have understood what they were saying. Irina gave me a summary later. The men were in awe of Ralph. Some of them had heard from Jacob that Ralph and I held titles and land in the UK. I hadn't told Irina the details. I had thought them unimportant.

When I told her she was marrying a Viscount and would obtain the title of a Lady in England she was stunned. When my father dies she will be a Countess. But Ralph's wife would be a Marchioness when he inherits his father's title. Countess means more to Irina than Marchioness because her country was once ruled by Counts. They never had the title of Marquess. Irina doesn't appreciate that a Marquess outranks a Count.

But before the wedding can take place Ralph has to defeat the Bride's Champion Jacob. The duel is scheduled for midday tomorrow in the village square. Ralph and Jacob will demonstrate swordsmanship on horseback using wooden swords before dismounting to fight with sharp sabres. Ralph has to win without seriously hurting Jacob.

Irina tells me that the opinion in the village is that Ralph will win easily. What worries them, her, and me, is that Jacob could be hurt. We don't want to antagonise the village and Irina's sister Sophia wants to marry Jacob. That wouldn't happen if there is a blood feud between Jacob and Ralph. It could damage the relationship between Sophia and Irina.

Irina's bridesmaids have been sewing frantically. Irina's wedding dress and the bridesmaids' dresses were completed weeks ago but they have to produce the costume for Ralph to wear on the wedding night. I don't know what it is. All I know is that it requires hours of needlework.

Tomorrow morning General Victor's troops will arrive in the village. Ralph has told them to set up on some of the land he has just bought. That's another thing that worries the villagers. Ralph, in one day, has become the largest landowner for miles around. Much of what he has bought is mountainous, but he has five of the best farms even if they have been neglected for years. What will Ralph do with those farms? If I intended to stay in the village with Irina I might consider buying a farm from Ralph. We're going to live on part of my family's ancestral estate in England. I will continue to work in the City, earning more in a week than the income from a local farm for two or three years.

I wish I could speak the language as well as Ralph. I'm sure I would get on better with the villagers if I was fluent in the language. Irina and her family are teaching me but I would need months, not days, before I can converse as easily as Ralph.

Chapter 5 -- Ralph

That evening I used the radio to contact Major Ginger. She explained, using Latin, which she and I knew, that some of the recent rebels had been regrouping and might take the opportunity of the Saint Basilla's Day events to expand their territory. However their plans had been compromised. She and the troops with her would try to deter any attack but if they didn't succeed the soldiers with me should be ready with live ammunition. The 'raid' could be real and dangerous. We arranged a code word 'Julius' if I needed help. What Major Ginger might be able to do could be limited but Major Harriet would be close too.

We hoped that the thirty soldiers I would have would prevent anything getting close to the village but although the rebels' plan was known, the size and composition of their forces was unassessed -- yet.

I didn't tell Gerald.

At ten o'clock the next morning the troops assigned to me arrived with two armoured cars. Those cars covered the only road in and out of the village. They were more for show than use. Any attack would be on foot across the mountains. We dug two machine gun emplacements before most assembled in the village. I was pleased that I knew the NCOs and most of the men. I had fought beside them during the recent war.

At noon I mounted my horse for the combat in the village square. The space was limited and my horse was much smaller than Jacob's. There were some doubts expressed by the watching villagers until we started. My horse, trained as a polo pony, was much more agile. Jacob never got close enough to hit me with his wooden sword. I hit him six times in the five minutes before the village chieftain declared the bout completed and me the obvious winner. After dismounting I shook hands with Jacob before we drank some wine together.

I warned the village chieftain, in private, that we expected a real attack on Saint Basilla's Day. Between us we arranged for some of the older villagers, who had been irregular troops, to be outlying scouts equipped only with radios. They would report any enemy movement.

The sword fight was set for an hour before dusk. Jacob and I had finally agreed how we would act, for it would be an act. I would cut at his left arm, as lightly as possible.

It was difficult to make it realistic. I obviously outclassed Jacob. I could have killed him or seriously injured him several times before the scheduled end. My cut was millimetres deep and about three centimetres long -- enough to draw blood and end the match, but not enough to injure him unnecessarily. I was declared the winner again. Jacob and I shook hands again as the villagers cheered. Afterwards we drank some more wine. Both of us were relieved that our fighting was over.

Chapter 6 -- Gerald

I was worried about Ralph's ability. Irina and I stood side by side watching the horsed combat. Ralph's skill was obvious. If it had been a real fight instead of a display, Jacob would have been killed easily. It was almost embarrassing.

After that, Irina told me the villagers had been talking to some of the soldiers Ralph had brought. A couple of them had seen Ralph in action in a fencing contest in the capital. He had defeated every opponent, even the country's national champion, and was considered of Olympic standard. They had no doubt the Ralph would draw Jacob's blood very easily. They were right. Jacob was obviously outclassed and outfought. I didn't know that Jacob and Ralph had stage-managed the fight but the contrast between them was embarrassing. But now Irina and I were free to marry.

The kidnap of the willing bride would also be a set-up, even without Ralph's thirty troops. Neither Irina nor her bridesmaids would tell me what Ralph had to do on our wedding night. Apparently the date had been set for a lucky day, August 29th, the feast day of a local saint, Saint Basilla, but the traditions weren't particularly saint-like, more a relic of pre-Christian fertility rituals. He didn't seem concerned. Why should he be? He was the most popular man in the village and a national hero.

What did worry me was the amount of time he spent on the military radio. He was obviously in contact with more than the visible men. Why? What risk was there now he had defeated the village champion?

In two days' time, on Saint Basilla's Day, Irina and I would marry. That was what was important to us. I had arranged with Ralph to buy two of the farms he had acquired as somewhere for Irina and I to live when we were in the country. The paperwork would take some time because the formal transfer to Ralph wasn't yet completed.

Until then? Ralph and his troops have to kidnap Irina and the Bridesmaids on the morning of St Basilla's day, and drag them, pretending to be unwilling, to the church.

Chapter 7 -- Ralph

Major Ginger had seen some obvious movement of the rebel troops. At present she didn't think they were a serious threat but she was keeping General Victor informed. We wanted to stop them, preferably without bloodshed, because death or injury could lead to continued resentment. If I could hold the village as a block while other troops surrounded them? We might get them to surrender peaceably.

General Victor informed me on the radio that he was sending my fiancée, Major Harriet, to be closer to the village in case the rebels evaded Major Ginger's troops. They were expecting a sneak attack by about thirty rebel troops but with the thirty soldiers I had in the village and fifty each with Major Ginger and Major Harriet we should be able to deter them.

I wasn't wholly sure it would be that easy. The land around the village is mountainous and the rebels had local knowledge which our troops didn't have. The village irregulars might be a very useful asset -- if they weren't too involved with the wedding.

Early on the morning of Saint Basilla's day and the wedding Gerald dressed himself in one of his Saville Row suits. He almost outshone my Colonel's uniform which is more practical than the British Army's full dress uniform with ornamental sword. I had my holstered Colt 1911 but had left my rifle and submachine gun in my room. I took the combat radio as I set out with ten of my soldiers to kidnap Irina. Before I left I spoke to Majors Ginger and Harriet telling them I was on the way to Irina's house. Neither of them had seen any activity from the rebels -- yet.

At Irina's house there were many more bridesmaids than I had expected. Instead of the four or six there were nearly thirty, all dressed in the formal traditional costume of full skirts puffed out with layers of petticoats over white stockings and embroidered bodices over white cotton blouses. They threw open the front door and welcomed the eleven of us, but we were soon surrounded by women who wanted to hug and kiss us. Kidnapping Irina could be difficult if we were impeded by so many women. But Irina was ready to be kidnapped and left with the soldiers. I was left behind as a hostage, surrounded by the bridesmaids all of whom seemed to want to kiss and cuddle me.

About a quarter of an hour before the due time for the wedding to begin I was dragged outside with four women holding on to me. At the church door they let me go to take my place beside Gerard. Irina, with the ten soldiers escorting her, was waiting outside the church. The bridesmaids turned on the soldiers, smothering them with kisses until Gerald and I heard Irina say "enough" in the local language. The soldiers took their places at the back of the church as Irina's father stood beside her to lead her down the aisle with the bridesmaids following.