Beth Likes It Ch. 04

I was shoving that cob of corn into my poor twat as hard and as fast as I could, pounding the pointy edge of it into the swollen doughnut-hole of my cervix as my whole body quaked and spasmed around it. And as I masturbated violently in front of these two disgusted, angry, and wickedly delighted men, my head exploded with a million horrible and detailed images of what my new life would become. And I realized that this strange series of events, along with my desperately needy cunt and my clearly psychologically sick, insane responsiveness to sexual abuse, had led me into a trap.

And I would never be able to escape from this trap. I was doomed. And as this realization hit me, that I had somehow stumbled or been lured into this irreversible, inescapable situation, and that I was to be permanently stripped of all humanity and turned into some craven cartoon-version of the worst elements of mens' sickest and most misogynistic sexual fantasies, and that my own craven responsiveness to it, my undeniable physical responsiveness to it, was to be documented and made public for all to see, struck me with a profound clarity that took my breath away.

And for a moment, I actually stopped breathing, but I never took my eyes away from the camera lens on the back of Ben's phone. I could see all the men who would witness me, witness my willing commitment to utter subjugation and debasement, witness my enthusiastic embrace of limitless physical torture. I could see them seeing me. And in my breathless moment of clarity, I realized that it was indeed the real me they were seeing. It was the "me" that I had been forced to suppress all my life, and that my own self-hatred was more than a little distraction that I had picked up along the way, it was my true nature.

I hated myself, I hated myself with a fury and wrath that knew no bounds, and that my insane masochism was actually a gleeful sadism, the perfect satisfaction of which could only be realized by directing this pulverizing, rapacious fire towards myself, to make of my own female body the ultimate, dehumanized victim. I smiled at the camera as my orgasm bloomed from within, my whole body shivering as if I were freezing cold. And as I fucked myself mercilessly with the cob of corn, I wished it were a cactus.