All Comments on 'Betrayal Ch. 02'

Chapter 3 will be submitted today.

way too long and not very good 1*

chapter 1 and chapter 2 are the same!

Liked the story, one has to suspend disbelief about the weather for them to go from well below freezing to running around in shorts. Was wondering if and how/the wife would survive and would the evidence of his sabotage be evident. Apparently both the trucks and house burned down.

Now, whats left is the confrontation.

Excellent spot on Hill Country Texas story . Weather accurate, strong independent husband Tim capable to take care of himself. Can't wait for Chapter 3 and everyone gets their REWARD.

Anonymous 1, thanks for the feedback. The other chapters are similar so you probably want to skip them.

Anonymous 2, no, the italicized part at the beginning is the end of Chapter 1, but this is the continuation.

Wow! Karen is a disgrace!!! To put it mildly! There is no way to excuse her behavior. If she is a true nymphomaniac then she needs help. But even so, her betrayal goes way too deep.

Oh and thank you for letting Andy leave! I almost had to stop reading!! I mean how much betrayal can one guy handle! Andy needs to tell Tim what happened. This will display Karen's continued bad behavior. She even neglected her kids! Come on! That's horrible.

But beyond her, PLEASE let Tim get extreme revenge on all the guys soon! I can't wait for that!!

Thank you for the update! Be well!

Your protagonists are ugly characters who are not adorable. "Friends" who approach the wives of their "friends" are not friends but the meanest enemies. Even Tim is an ugly character. Why you let your story slide like that is incomprehensible to me!

What a horrible bunch of cheating assholes, not one redeeming character amongst the lot.

But Karen is the worst, a real hyper sexual slut. Her ass is grass, it’s just a matter of time.

Good story about a sick bunch of sex wrecks. Scores 5/5

Please ensure you do not take as long to get the next chapter out. There is so much revenge to read about and I’m looking forward to reading it.

Matt, Tim is in a bad place right now.

once the barn has been robbed the door is not needed. TK U MLJ LV NV

And interesting story so far but not sure how I feel about it. Both main characters feel like pretty bad people even if Matt has the excuse of having his emotions ran through the blender, Karen has no excuse beyond being a garden tool. The fact he was willing to screw the babysitter and play around with his friend's preggo wife doesn't paint him in a good light and is only still the "good guy" because of what Karen did being so much worse. Kinda hoping the husband gets his head on straight as its hard to sympathize with a guy being cheated on when he's doing his own cheating. I tend to like reconciliation stories but hopefully this doesn't end like that even if they do seem like a good couple, both with loose morals. However not a bad story so far, gave both parts 4 and might raise them higher depending on how the story goes from here.

These guys are all pond scum, including Will and Andy. Why are you portraying Texans as men without honor? as Cervantes wrote: " A man without honor is worse than dead." How can you like a story with this cast of characters?

Thank God I don't live nor have any friends in Texas. Really unlikable people.

Not one likable character in this story.

Have to agree with Cardswin2011, there are no good guys in this story; and, the more the story progresses, the more I think that Tim and Karen deserve each other.

Story is interesting, can't wait to see what story Karen concocts to tell Tim. As for the characters in this storyline who is bad and who is good the jury is still out. Also I am waiting to see what Andy tell his best friend and client about Karen trying to seduce him. Karen may have survived the disaster at the JW ranch but will she survive the first conversation with Tim when he want truthful answers. 5 stars

A bit long-winded, and not carefully plotted.

How could Karen be watching TV with the power down? Page 5.

Keep waiting for reality to take hold and everything falls apart. 4 stars

Awesome, everything burned to the ground. Then for fun she seduces hubbys lawyer, just an incredible nympho

Multiple times during the story the names change and later change back. It could be good story however it really needs an editor to clean it up.

She's a disgusting and dirty porn star. She should be made suffer near death and lose her husband and kids. She doesn't deserve them. Though horny, for being a teacher, she's dumber than a box of rocks...

Some attorney ole Tim has...some friend. There is no way he wouldn't have fucked the babysitter and no way he would do anything but scorched earth on his slag cumdump wife. This, "she's the mother of our kids and has been a good mom, so I have to protect her" shit is in so many stories. When you find your wife is gangbanging subhumans, the last thing you want is her in your kids life.

So far there's really no character I particularly like here. Tim doesn't come off as any better than Karen, really. I suppose I could kind of give him a "mostly-asleep" pass with the babysitter, but he doesn't deserve one for messing with his friend's wife.

Juvenile. Barely made two pages into chapter 2 and bailed.

They're are literally no likable characters in this story, no hero, no protagonist. Congrats on writing a story about hateful, terrible characters that no one could relate too.

Not nice. No loyalty, everyone is ruled by lust and the worst is the Bitch slut Karen. Is this going anywhere? Hopefully at least one character will turn out decent. Yet to find him/her. Could have been a great story.

Nice view of her reality

I am getting really bored with this non -story. I checked and there are four more chapters and an epilogue. If chapter 3 doesn’t finally give this directionless writing exercise some direction I’m gone.

Who is Andy and Dan in this chapter? Andy the cop, or Andy the lawyer, or Dan the lawyer, or... what? Tim the cheated-on husband is as bad as his whore-wife: he's trying to get it on with his "best friend's" wife??? Really?

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There aren't any likable characters in this story. None. And you'll have to drive pretty far to find anyone with even a modicum of class. The way all the men in this story talk about women - in front of them - is truly caveman-worthy, but of course the women are flattered. Right. Of course they are - they're all trailer trash.

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3 stars, and that's only because I rounded up.

And he fucks the baby sitter. Yet another cliche, and one too many.

You started out good with the MC being a character with good morals but then took the story into a hornfest where you can't root for anybody. You basically started writing a nice story, ate a boatload of hot curry and then proceeded to take a massive liquified curry dump on the story, smearing diarhea on everything you could see (yourself included).

Mentally ill people are NEVER erotic

Yawn inducing, I skimmed the last few pages, you had way too much time on your hands, did writing this send you to sleep?

Yeah, Andy’s law license is probably in jeopardy if anyone finds out. He needs to withdraw from representing the MC at this point.

What happened to the promise she made to her self that from now on she will be the best possible wife ever, and now she is sleeping withTims best mate and his Lawyer. Andy is nothing but a low life , if I was Tim I would definitely be getting DNA test on the children considering her history of infidelity

On her part or the so called friend and lawyer. Terrible. But neither does the husband have any morals.