All Comments on 'Betrayal Ch. 04'

The suspense is killing me, cannot wait to see what happens next!

Great story, I'm ready for more!

Thanks for this update! However, it was super frustrating! I can't believe that Tim gets shot and Karen gets the boys!!! REALLY?!! After her neglect, perjury and insanely immoral actions, I could not see HOW that would happen!

The boys have two sets of grandparents and probably others who could be temporary guardians. I've seen many cases where children don't have to go into the system if a non-parental figure is willing to take them.

I also was really hoping Tim would get his full revenge in this chapter. Though it almost seems impossible given all that's been done to him. Still I hope.

Regarding Karen, I normally prefer reconciliations but don't see what she could possibly do or say to fix this. Truth be told, love her or not, I'd never be able to trust her again.

I believe she loves Tim, but the fact that she continued sleeping with men who repeatedly disrespected her husband right in front of her astounds me!! The fact she gave them things sexually she didn't give him is revolting!!

I also value intelligence in a partner and she seems highly untelligent! And not just because of her affairs!! Even after being caught she continued to work with her loser lovers against Tim! She lied in court to get their sons! (I can't say enough how much it angers me that she has them!!) Then her idiots basically outright tell her they are planning to hurt Tim and she DOESN'T report it! They threaten him again in the hospital and she BELIEVES them when they say they'll stop!! How STUPID can you be! That's not just naive. It's flat out stupid and she endangered Tim's life!!

However, despite all of this, this author is amazing and may be able to find a way to redeem her and make reconciliation possible. I don't know, if she truly is a sex addict, maybe that can be part of her defense.

All I know is if they DON'T make it, I don't want to see her going on to have a great life. Karma needs to kick in big-time! If they DO make it, she still needs to suffer the consequences of her actions.

Like I said, I prefer reconciliations but only if warranted. I hope that can happen here but am doubtful. Still the romantic in me hopes!

Crossing my fingers the next chapter is published soon! :)

Great story, and a great job staying consistent with the technology and practices of the pre-pc/pre-cellular era. There’s nothing pretentious, or ridiculously improbable happening. That said, I’m hoping Tim doesn’t reconcile- some of his interactions with Karen seem like he might consider it.

Having a great time reading this story. Well written. The only scene I did not car for was Tim offering the nurse sex. He went way beyond teasing and she was the one to call it off. It was out of character for him to be a jerk like that. gave you a solid 5 stars. keep the story rolling.

I'm disappointed with Tim too.

he doesn't seem to have a lot of morality either.

the scene with the nurse is bad.

Darn!, i should have waited till the writer finished the story. Hate waiting for next chapter !!!

The story is great, loving it. However Tim has the morals of an alley cat and is not far off being a skank himself. He is quite happy to cheat on the new love of his life. But happily points the finger at Karen. His double standards are somewhat breathtaking. If Karen was forced by blackmail into doing what she did, then Tim in some ways is just as bad as she is. Maybe even worse.

Still, l give the story a solid 5/5.

RE The scene with Tim and Nurse Phillips was supposed to be Tim retalitating by teasing her as she had been teasing him. Had she succombed, Tim would have declined...I think.

Great story can hardly wait for the next chapter.

I agree with Franceman that the scene with the nurse was unnecessary. i might also add the fact that Tim seems to be letting his wife off the proverbial hook a little too easy, especially when she refused to help.him when. She knew he was going to be attacked and probably killed. He needs to go nuclear btb and I never given that opinion before. Overall it is a well written work that far

Can’t wait for the next chapter

It is well known the Williamson County is corrupt from the judges to the Sheriffs department. BTW, we are east of Manor and know most of the area you are describing in this story.

Waiting for chapter five. The long wait lessons the desire to wait. I know this is a labor of love I.e. FREE, but still, faster is better

Lord this is awful. No flow. Too wordy. Suspending belief is one thing, but this is too m7ch.

The Haussmann's home is attacked in Chapter 5, and the decision is made to move the battleground to Tim's home county in south Texas. It will be submitted as soon as Chapter 4 is published.

Chapter 4 was published on 8/2/2021. I don't understand the delay. Please advise. Thank you.

Ch 5 was sent back for revision. Revised it and submitted 6 with request to hold until 5 is published.

Ever heard of RSV? Outbreak in Texas and it made my wife really sick.

Working on a western romance now.

the sex pages ruined the whole chapter

3 star

This is better than a movie!

This is a great story but if you look careful at tennis behavior he has no yet in his behavior he has no loyalty to any woman and he fucks every girl that he gets his hands on including his best friend's wife.

Really how is he any better than his own wife?

He's a sexual opportunist and she's a flat out whore and insatiaflat out horror in the stational sex drive.

At the end of the day there's really no moral difference between the 2 of them.

If you'd live less on pages and pages and pages of Cornell's corner just a carnal's pornography you had the makings of an extremely good story with a great paw outline. While you wrote the story I'm obliged to remind you of something that I once read by an author and that was this. " Remember this is not your story is the story that the readers want to read if you don't get them that they won't read you and your writing is not worth Much.

Great storyline with lots of drama. Well done 5++ stars

Over the top but great fun

Hi is right that he’s a man whore but even with that, it’s fun

Hey, your no in a committed relation ship and neither are the woman, go for it. The bad guys are not very smart either. Funny thing is we hav had stuff like this happening in real life the past few years. Good writing an d lots of action!

You need to review how to write in past tense. The following just doesn’t make sense:

“Tim replied that all three are healing well, and his physical therapy is going so well he expects to be released today or tomorrow.”

Try this: “Tim replied that all three were healing well and his physical therapy was going so well he expected to be released that day or the next.”

See? Everything in past tense and consistently so.

At first I was intrigued, but with this "chapter" I started skimming. I have concluded that the author of this thing is about 12 years old, or at least has the maturity of such an age. He has allowed his juvenile imagination grab ahold of him and just keeps on writing. Well, I'm not going to keep on reading. I'm done! 2*

The last few paragraphs were a letdown to a great story. It's sooooo hard to believe that with the information law enforcement had prior to the attack, they would be "5 minutes out" when the shit hit the fan. I know it's a story, but come on....

Why wait for the bad guys to fire a single shot. Just arrest them...they're not looking for more evidence. Also, how can these guys avoid arrest when they don't seem to be hiding. Are the cops that dumb?

The legal/law enforcement apathy in this story is hilarious. The using multiple people as bait is pretty much illegal let alone immoral. The were 5 mins away was like WTF but hey that's Texas for you and BBQ comes first.

To all the Anonies dissing how this is being played out.

Get over yourselves.

This is a fun story, IT IS fiction y'all.

I bet y'all are just bummers to be near while watching a shoot'em up or super hero movie.

Is everyone in this story a freaking ass, or just the ones you give dialog? Seriously, I wouldn't trust any of these dicks aside from the kids. Everyone ready to cheat of soliciting someone else to do so at the drop of a hat. There's no sympathy for any one of them, not even the M.C. after the first half of the first chapter...

Don't care about fidelity only sex.

Is anyone in Texas not sex driven And has morals

This story starts to drone on and on, not to mention there are loose ends that have been hanging out there longer than they probably should (Sharon). We also see the names of characters mysteriously change here and there' The last one is something an editor should be able to catch.

acepten que es una comedia y rianse un poco, para que tan serios!

relájense un poco y disfruten el viaje ... ríanse, no sean amargados

Se acepten que es una fantasia y rianse un poco….

It's just a flesh wound...

Crazy people. Nurse Sharon scene was totally unneeded.