All Comments on 'Betrayed'

there someone always out there for you.only women everywhere.

Readability was hurt by some overly large paragraphs which should've been several smaller ones. A lot of circumlocution at times hurt your pacing. Good story. The last paragraph is solid gold! Solid 5s.

Also, reasonably well written in the sense of timing and lengths of certain portions, and the amounts of detail — enough to inform, not enough to bore. I cannot comment on grammar as I’m horrible at it. I’m better at my German grammar, which I learned in high school. But mechanics seem good.

Thanks.

5-stars.

Just another wimpy husband, no confrontation, seemingly no emotional feeling at all. Quite a boring story really.

there are winners but a lot of you would rather live with a whore than thrive on your own.

Bull Shit. You won DUDE. The bitch got what she deserved. She is a cheater and will always find a cock to play with. Hat this for you. But over time the pain eases. I know been there done that. Hold your head up and go with your life. Youdid the town a favor.

I liked the story But it lacked in some ways. Timeways, like in most cases, why does it take sooo long to setup and get MORE evidence and details about her infidelity. He knows, got phone vidoes, and even a former member of the 'gym sluts' club. Seems like it takes months instead of a couple of weeks that is all it should take. We never did learn about her side and not enough about "why" she did it besides being seduced by as expert predator. The owner of the gym obviously doesn't work at her own gym as not to notice what was going on, but now should be sued for the gyms lack of morals - STDs could have spread quickly between the 30 members of Mr. Bountys harem of sluts. Our poor hero was right in his assessment in the last paragraph, there are no winners in a divorce, just losers of lost love. 4/5 stars for a nice tale about planning for divorce.

Highly erotic writing. And love making detail excellent. Think the end was a little bit rushed. As if the author was a bit uncertain as to how to end. Still I enjoyed. Thanks

Good story but the sex parts and school parts were extremely verbose and added nothing to the story. It could have been shortened by an entire page and nothing would have been lost. Actually that space could have been added to your epilogue to make it more complete and not so rushed. But still a 4-1/2 star read.

Too many amateur authors do what you've done at the beginning of this story. You've written a real life scenario where a husband comes home to find his wife having sex with another man then you ignore the real life reaction and have the husband walk away without taking any action and without writing a credible reason for the husband to have walked away. The author Tom Clancy once said 'Fiction has to make sense'.

There's is no way a husband is going to witness a scene like this and just walk away from it. He's standing watching someone take away from him something that belonged to him. The husband would react to it. Would you standby and let someone steal from you if you could stop them.

If you are going to write a scene like this then you have to write a credible reason for the husband not to react to it going of to vomit isn't a credible reason and wouldn't happen. For example the husband had paid the other man to seduce his wife so that he could divorce her and just wanted to get the evidence to do it. That makes the scene credible.

Other than that your writing is good but, for me, you killed the story at the beginning.

Why are the husbands in your stories all mentally retarded. I mean, no one could be THAT stupid.

The sex part on the first paragraphs was hot that after the anal sex I skipped all the sex part 'cause I don't usually read the sex part of a cheating wife. But great job author though the middle parts honestly made me sleepy still I read on till I finished.

/

Why did Terri stopped her fun? She should have continued riding big penises now that she is single, alone and living in the outskirts of the town. Who cares about the smirks and spats as long as she got big phallus her buthole, right? It isn't good to be celibate when that whore Terri is single and bodily fit. SMH.

Good, but could be improved. You never stated their ages. All we know was the wife was in her forties. There should have been more involvement with the kids, and maybe other close family members. Life does go on. It may take a couple of years to get over the divorce, but his life has the potential of getting better.

I suppose the hardest thing to do in these stories is to write the confrontation. Regardless of him doing what was right for him the wife was given no character and we never heard her reasons or excuses or pleading for forgiveness. In fact was she bothered at all? It's hard to know.

So what, our intrepid hero doesnt have a phone with camera that he coulda filmed with from the beginning? And u cant pull cash out of Gov employee plans once u hit 10 years ( or so) contributions because youd fuck up all the careful math done by an actuary …. And even if u could the tax hit would be enormous and likely the employercontribution likely stays there as forfeit.

Decent plot and characters but … the middle didn’t fit. Like others I felt as if the mid was dragging. Gave you a 4. Thx.

no, you are wrong.

living well is the best revenge. if a cheated woman/man moves on...and is happy....then they win. full stop.

it's not that complex.

the trauma they suffer isn't their fault. the depression they feel isn't their fault. but they can choose to not mope around forever about it. a lot of betrayed men/women put on their adult pants....and pursue a happy and fulfilling life.

even dead-beat shitty cheaters can find happiness through growth and effort. no one is immune to happiness. if a cheater spouse wants to live single and sad, that is by choice. a prison of their own making.

I lost interest when it became clear the cuck just stood there and watched another dude bang his wife.

I assume the author is British attempting to write in American English. Why do so? Write what and how you know. The jarring contrast between the British phrases and the Americanisms, such as funds stated in dollars, brought me out of the story.

Not bad but a couple constructive criticisms. First, the wife, I would have loved some explanation on her actions. Goes from frigid with her husband to full on garden instrument. I'd have liked some more smut that isn't the cheating kind, its erotica so there needs to be some erotic but its always helpful to balance the story rather then having all the nooky being from the cheaters. Some love that but those of us into the revenge side of cucking prefer the erotica to be done by the "hero" of the story if possible. Overall a pretty decent story though, I gave it 4 stars. Hopefully the rest of your work is of high quality too.

Thank God for Pietro we finally got some decent stories today..

He should have hunted up Mary, she was divorced and did not cheat.

He wants female companionship there it is.

4/5

Ok, but if married 31 years--so at least mid-50's. Yet still has a child less than 12 or so. math?

Wow. That was tedious.

youve got a real talent for building a tory up and then dumping the end into a teeny tiny paragraph

If you want to court the revenge crowd spend more time expounding on the sluts hardships AFTER the trap is triggered, not the endless preparations the cheated spouse takes BEFORE

Liked your story. Maybe the commenters should just stop reading yours. Hope their comments don't discourage you.

Nice

Excellent revenge tale. No reason to stay lonely. There are many women out there who would love a faithful, loving husband.

Yeah I know it's fiction, but still. No need for everyone to lose. The husband can emerge and find love again.Great tale. Keep writing.

Five Stars

One your better stories in the big story dump. Still not enough retribution on the cheating wife for a BTB, but at least it’s not a willing cuck story.

Good story, go and pick up a gym junkie! AAAA++++

The last paragraph says it all.

Too much build up and not a very creative revenge

Why did he not sue the gym owner instead of posting the gym as a pick up area.?

Nobody wins but I liked the revenge but I am a sick puppy.

When you find some huge cock guy fucking your wife just cut his cock down to a length shorter than yours! Bobbotts wife cut his cock off and she was found not guilty due to temporary insanity!

There is no honour and glory; there is no Burning the Bitches (or is Witches) on the stake for their actions. There is only Consequences and Fallout and the painful task of putting back together one's own life and move on.

He should hold his head high as did nothing wrong. Let the cheating whore rot in hell! 4 stars.

Yes and no.

The revenge and split was good.

The bad was too much focus on the sex

and nothing on his recovery from the betrayal.

3 out of 5 from me.

why spend the rest of your life trying to get over a whore.

3 stars - no comment

Thankfully the story ended with the loser husband getting revenge...he took so fucking long getting to it....pathetic end....he should be feeling positive....not like a loser

In an ideal world, this wouldn’t happen. In a fair world, the cheater would lose everything. However, life is not fair and decent people are hurt everyday by cheating spouses. At least he came out the other side although damaged and lonely.

According to report after report, a significantly higher percentage of women have affairs than men.

Women only care if they are caught, however with no fault divorce laws, they don’t even care about that much anymore. There is very little social stigma attached to divorce anymore and of course she can always say he was useless in bed and was a pervert & it’s almost a badge of (dis)honour amongst the sisterhood.

Instead of a gym membership, get the whore a friggin' job where she has to work, then come home and do housework, instead of whoring around. When she fainted, too bad something very heavy didn' land on her and crush her...

Not bad but you really glossed over resolution details just like you did not have energy to finish the story properly.

Could this wimp feel more sorry for himself? Boo Hoo! Poor little me. That mean, bad lady hurt my feeling! Boo Hoo! I'm going to tell my mommy.

Grow a pair and get a life. Or, he could spend the rest of his life miserable.

" I needed to calm down, but I also needed to find out more." - He's caught her TWICE, once on video. What else does he need? Confront her, she either stops or they divorce, maybe they divorce anyway,

\

"Maybe next Thursday ... next Thursday" - I thought it was Tuesday? Ah, the "Tuesday" was the mistake, since Thursday was used everywhere else.

/

"That bastard has to pay!" - LOL, she's got a lot of nerve! She may not be married, but she knew damn well what he was doing, and didn't give a shit as long as she got hers!

\

"just to satisfy some sexual prowess" - You don't "satisfy" sexual prowess, you HAVE sexual prowess, you have sexual urges.

/

Who in the hell leaves their keys under the doormat? Years ago, MAYBE a spare key, even then not the regular key, these days not even a spare key.

\

"Her panties were soaked through and it was lucky she had worn an extra padding under her leotards. Strangely, she seemed quite loose during her gym class that day." - The MC is telling the story, he can't know these things.

/

He already knows about Terri, why should he have a special reaction to her name being on the list?

\

Way too much filler.

3 Stars...and that is just being charitable.

The wimp is to pathetic to even slightly care about. Grow a pair, get over your self pity party and move on. Hello! Remember the two kids you have? They get to watch dear old dad spend the rest of his "life" doing the Boo-Hoo, Poor little Me song and dance?

They deserved each other, instead of spoiling another two couples. Awful story, what's the point of divorce if you're going to live a life of misery

I really don't understand when a husband witnesses infidelity and goes through a series of purchasing tools to prove a spouses betrayal. I guess this is a way of filling in verbiage to prolong a story. I guess without this artistic license, it would be an awfully short story>

Could be true. Often our worst enemy is ourselves. I wouldn't have handled as the cuckolded husband did. I am very much more liberal-minded. Still it was a good well written, heartache tale.

The wife fainting trope just needs to die.

what kind of wimp is this? how can anybody just not do shit for days or weeks, all the while he's being cuckolded? wtf.

and such weak ass revenge?

At any time did he think about confronting her like any normal person would do?

Then once the papers were served did he not ask her why?

For me all these stories hinge on the confrontation. In so many the husband runs away and refuses to take calls or read texts. I just don't ever see a husband not wanting to confront the wife or hear why she did what she did.i think that lets the story down.

Pitiful effort. Reads like a juvenile wrote it. Are all your male MCs pussies???

It’s a decent story. My issue is that it lacks emotional impact. From the last paragraph, it’s clear that an emotional impact was a goal. Somehow, you would do well to find ways to show/present more of what the various characters are feeling. Terri wound up institutionalized, yet none of her pre-divorce perspective was presented, and the story ended without demonstrating the contrast in her.

He was a wimp like so many men in Lit stories. It irritates me when a husband observes his wife cheating and he slinks on into the night with confronting the two cheaters. I say get the photo evidence and get your revenge big time, no mercy. This story in the end was hollow no reason, no nothing. 3 stars.

A good BTB.

good story but feels unfinished and not really worth the effort. It really is just a slow turn into loneliness with to little restitution and taking the easy way out. Terri should have had more loss and pain. He just gave up after the divorce and wasted the rest of his life. I would call this a BTB lite story.

Another excellent report

This was a great story right up until the last paragraph where you turned him into a simpering whiney-assed wimp, Oh whoa is me WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

No one would actually react this way!

As soon as I read about him watching his wife and Bonte for a half hour when first he found them together I understood that he was pathetic and deserved what he got. For me, this was a 1 star story.

Pussy wimp husband, should have confronted the bitch. Took the cowards way out.

Yeah, just move on.

And, as a man, if you can't get more pussy, you ain't much of a man. It's out there for you but you have to work for it beyond hoping and reading about it.

The end is how lots of husbands of cheating wives end up, not the like in the usual cheating wife stories were they meet miss world and ride off into the sunset.

YOU CLOSING THOUGHT CONTAINED MORE TRUTH THAN MOST OF US EVEN SERIOUSLY CONTEMPLATE. NOT ALL GOOD STORIES ARE HAPPY ONES...FIVE STARS!

What has happened to women, in the last 20 years? I remember it being said, that guys “ think with their little head” . Now, it appears women do as well, if you believe Literotica. Sorry... I don’t understand it. But I gave the story, 5 stars!

Actually it's silly to end up alone if you don't want to be. Heal up and There are millions of potential quality partners.

My gods. 2 pages of meaningless garbage. It's a 4? Really. Why? The endless supposed stroke scene wasn't even arousing. Jesus Christ. You all get pissed at kink and 1 bomb to oblivion but celebrate this shit? Why? This is horribly written.

No, no! Starts off alright, but a little stilted. Doesn't quite gel, in my book, at any rate. Was that Punjabi for "whore" when the neighbour came to her assistance? The last page was somewhat disjointed, may I suggest you use an impartial editor from a different cultural background, as we all find it difficult to spot our own "relapse" errors. I'm sure there are plenty of volunteers on Literotica who would be only too pleased to proof-read for you, F.O.C. Worth trying, I'm sure! Good Luck!

Dick.

For those commenters who don't know: puta = derogatory term for prostitute in Spanish. Also a woman of many casual infidelities. The character Terry would have been known in that community as a person "puta locura" - that is, effing madness. Seems a bit implausible though, as a spouse of 31 years wouldn't generally go off like that without some indicator of marital difficulty. At least not to a spouse paying attention. Story was a bit too simple.

I could have done without the last two paragraphs. Aside from that, it is a great story.

Talk about wimp writing. You never even let him get revenge against the slut or the asshole. What is it -- a nose bleed to violent for you.

I like usually this author's stories, but this was a huge disappointment. This one started as a stroker detailing to the nth degree the mechanics of her cheating with the scumbag and didn't get much better.

It would have been better if the author would have used two hands to type a decent, more thought out burn instead of what seems like he wiped himself out wanking during the first part.

Usually, I give 5s for this effort. This one got a generous 3. Sorry..

Okay story, but he made a mistake buying another house before the divorce and having ANY money in another account. At the time of divorce ALL assets are shared so he would have had to give her half his new home and half of any account that had money in it. Why turn things into cash then put that cash where it can be found? Dumb.

totally irrational...

All build up, almost no aftermath. Pages and pages of outrage, hurt and electronic spying all leading to no real confrontation. All of that gets summarized in a couple very short, perfunctory paragraphs. The readers are cheated out of any dramatic climax, just a few nondescript sentences, and there is no adequate denouement. What could easily have been a 5-star story is reduced to a 2-star because the author got lazy.

They spit in her direction? Where does this happen? In 1650's Boston?

No, in 2022 UK. Probably in the USA today too. Point taken on the cash movement and the house purchase. You need to have a good proofreader to catch this kind of error. If this is your first attempt, then you are forgiven. Make sure you have your facts straight, or you'll get a bad rep from your readers. Keep writing.

XYZ

Took far too long to resolve his situation... he had all the info he needed the first week... no reason to procrastinate and tolerate his wife's presence for more than that except to drag the story out to an incredulous finality.

A 1 page story padded out with crap into 4 and I use the term story losely

Like he said, "Loneliness and emptiness", but what else can you do. Her decision ruined 2 lives - hers and his.

Not bad but surprisingly limp ending. I understand that he tried to financially protect himself but he put up with her cheating for an awfully long time. Why didn't he sue the gym owner? She had to be aware of what was going on. Parts were at least average quality writing but other parts were turgid, overly long, and needed to be trimmed and focused. The "payback" against her was weak and against the asshole was non-existent, at least by the Main Character. I could not give it better than a 3***.

Too long

He put up with his cheating wife too long, then wimped out with a letter. Should've verbally attacked her once he had some proof. The reporting to the newspapers was classic. It's good that he set up to get his proof of infideltiy, but to wait so long....

Story took too long to reach the conclusion. 3 stars

The last paragraph says it all. Still, I can't see any reason for him to wait so long to pull the plug.

That was a weird story. I was beginning to think he got off on her cheating since he watched her cheat, recorded it on his phone, watched it again and then went back later to watch more. Then he sneaks away seemingly afraid to confront her. But, hey, he did leave that anonymous review.

I could then go into the large walk-in robe which then connected to our bedroom."""""" That is quite a LARGE robe.

Okay!

4

Sad, but true: There are no winners when all that is left is loneliness and sadness at the betrayal of a cheating spouse.

5

Better effort here and the ending merited the rating. The inconsistency is for someone supposedly so Palled by what is happening he recited every detail to the pornographic encounters

Over wordy. If you cut out all the excess words, which ae just filling space, not adding anything to the situation, this would only need to be 2 pages.

Perhaps a decent story but 4 pages was not needed. Editing some of it would've cut down the pages & perhaps even better told the story. I rated this 3 stars in recognition to the effort. Many times, less is more, unless the "less" leaves out too much. Bob

Mostly focused on voyeurism.

Author make a powerful statement -

"There are no winners when all that is left is loneliness and sadness at the betrayal of a cheating spouse."

...and yet fools jump into the cesspool.

Are no winners. A shame she apparently didn't care about him or her marriage it would nice to know why.

This seemed more like a cuck story with the author getting off with the mc's humiliation.

Sorry didn't do it for me.

No winners???

Bullshit!!! You won, trust me, you won. If you don’t understand that, heaven help you.

Still 5/5

A really stupidly written piece. What kind of guy stands and watches this insanity? Yeah, film it for a minute or two, but he almost made a hobby of it! Then, OP wrote these long, lurid descriptions. No, it sounds like a stealth cuck story. The long, rambling blocks of text were hard to read, and the plot rambled all over the place. Terrible.

Well told but sad tale. From the 4.1 rating many others agree.