Better than We Were

"Dad, come home please."

I stressed myself out further all the way home. The unknown -- would she be pissed, exasperated, frustrated?

I entered the front door and there sat Leah. She had opted to put her hands on her face, her knees up in a sort of protective position. I felt like shit.

"Come on in, Dad," she quietly said.

I sat down across from her. Her hands remained on her face.

"Dad, I am sorry I freaked out on you."

"Leah, I am the one who violated your privacy... I am the only one who should apologize"

"But it was your room! Not mine!"

"Still, I... I didn't leave as soon as I saw you."

Silence.

Her hands were still on her face, which if I wasn't so stressed out would have been a little adorable. She seemed to crack her fingers so she could barely see me.

"How long did you stand there?"

Oh boy.

"Maybe a minute?" I... I am really so sorry."

She paused. "Doesn't matter," she continued to look at me through the tiny gap between her fingers. "Look Dad, I am the embarrassed one here. I am the one who climbed into your bed and like ... did stuff on your bed with your pillow."

She wasn't angry. She thinks she was in the wrong. But I still was in the wrong. She just wasn't thinking it.

"Yeah, but... sweetheart, why are you covering your face?"

"Embarrassed."

"No reason to be."

"Dad, you caught me jilling off in your bed. Pretty good reason to be embarrassed."

"Pretty sure you aren't the only one to do that. To be cliché, everyone does it." I then added, "plus you are going to have to take your hands away from your face eventually. Lots of things you cannot do with hands up like that."

She sighed and then lowered her hands. Her face was beat red.

"You aren't mad at me?" she asked.

"Déjà vu, I thought you were mad at me."

"You didn't do anything wrong! You just walked into your room to find me splayed out naked on your bed doing unmentionable things!"

"I assumed you had had sexual urges like the rest of humanity. This is normal. And I apologize for my part. I am going to hug you now."

She nodded.

We wrapped our arms around each other, her face resting on my shoulder. I held her for a long time.

Finally, she was the one who broke the silence. "When do you do it?" she almost whispered into my neck.

"Do what?"

"You said everyone does it. So when do you do it? Like what you saw me doing."

She kept hugging me tight. Maybe asking me this required her to not see my face. Since I got her to take her hands down, maybe this was her other means.

"I... " I wasn't sure how to answer. I mean, I used to, and definitely felt the need to, but I hadn't recently. Well except when I started to a few days before, and then stopped.

"I mean, I sleep with you now, so you haven't like done that at night or in the morning," she apparently had thought this through a bit. "And I know the equipment works... and stuff... so it isn't like you are not, um, like able to or anything."

Holy shit.

NOT the conversation I thought would happen. Ever.

"I... haven't recently."

She kept holding me tight. Suddenly I became hyper aware of her breasts pressed against me, her hands on my upper back, mine on her lower.

"Wouldn't that cause... like... what do they call it? Blue balls?"

The conversation was shifting into the unimaginable. It was one thing to have some generic sex talk with your daughter -- where babies come from, this is what birth control does, etc. It's quite another to have a discussion centering on your masturbation habits with your daughter, a very personal and vulnerable thing.

But then I walked in on her. And this was an adult conversation, I suppose.

"I feel urges yes, but I don't want to do that with you around, obviously. And you would definitely not want that either. I am fine. Do not worry."

She got quiet, but held me tight, which told me she wanted to talk more about this.

"What if I like left earlier in the morning so you could have time to take care of stuff?"

"Leah, baby, I am happy. I don't need to do that. I just need you... Oh. That came out wrong. I mean you make me happy so... "

I mumbled off into oblivion. She giggled, her breath tickling my neck.

"Well, I don't really believe you. And I thought we were being open." She continued her analysis with face against the nape of my neck, her lips occasionally brushing against my skin as she spoke, "I mean it seems to me if you are getting those sorts of reactions all the time, then it must mean you need some 'alone' time to deal with it."

"Leah, I am fine. I am being honest."

"But it's been awhile since you have been with a woman, right?"

"Yes, but I am happy now."

"Whatever. I will work on it." And with that she finally pulled her face back from my neck and faced me.

Her face still looked a little flushed, probably from all the blushing and sex talk and grilling me on my masturbatory habits. She smiled at me.

"Sorry again for my part in all of that," I said as I held her face. "I love you."

"Me too. On both things," she replied.

We somehow shifted into a normal night again, and then bedtime arrived.

As I was climbing into bed, she walked in wearing panties and her cut-off tee. She stripped it off quickly and climbed into bed, backing up to me per usual.

She pulled my arm around her, my hand ending up on her breast again. She sighed.

For a time, I went through the craziness of these last few days, the shifts in relationship, the uncontrollable urges. My mind raced, until it couldn't race anymore and I drifted off.

When I woke, Leah was still in my arms, my hand still holding her breast, my body pressed up against hers. I guess I don't ever turn over anymore. I honestly cannot blame my body for subconsciously wanting to stay in this position.

I laid there for a time, enjoying the feel of her soft body in my arms.

And then I heard her breathing shift. She was waking up. But she remained still, in my arms too.

For a time, we both laid awake. Like both of us were thinking.

Then I felt her shift her bottom back, pressing a little more firmly against me. While this didn't cause an immediate reaction from me, when she began rolling her hips, well that did.

The rhythmic moving of her hips caused her butt cheeks to massage my dick. Since I had not made any adjustment initially, me growing hard meant that I was poking her at a ninety degree angle, the tip of my dick pressing between the cheeks of her bottom. Her continuing movement caused such pleasure.

I didn't want to stop her. It felt like she knew exactly what she was doing. As I got harder and harder, the pressure between her butt and my cock increased.

I noticed her nipple hardening against the palm of my hand. Good lord, could this be happening?

As my cock fully extended, I moved my hips up, bringing the tip to the small of her back, and then pressing back down to set my cock more comfortably against her bottom. She didn't slow down. With the underside of my dick nestled between her cheeks, she shifted her hips around again.

My breathing changed, as did hers. I began moving my hips to slide my dick up and down. I didn't think I would last long. I was essentially humping my daughter's barely covered ass.

I squeezed her breast, causing her to let out a small moan. Closer. Closer. Feeling the build-up in my balls. Maybe she was right, I felt like I definitely needed a release. Blue balls, indeed.

Her breathing changed -- shallow, excited. Mine matched hers. Was she really enjoying this? Or did she just want to give me pleasure?

Getting much closer, I felt I could cum at any moment. I squeezed her breast as I felt my body tighten. She moaned in response. No time to think, I felt the rush as I came in my boxers, moaning in her ear, pulsing, breathing heavily, my heart pounding.

In the midst of it all, I did what I had normally done with my wife in such a position, especially when I was fucking her from behind, I kissed her cheek, her neck, her bare shoulder, back to her neck. She sighed.

I would normally kiss her lips, turning her chin to face me as I held her, but with Leah... For whatever reason, humping her from behind did not feel as intimate as a deep kiss.

She continued to squirm, pressing herself against my throbbing, but still covered, cock. My cum had to be seeping through my boxers and the back of her panties.

I should get up, make sure she is ok, change out of my boxers, matter as-well shower. I should do all of that but all I wanted to do was hold her and stay right where I was.

She turned her face to me and smiled, her very pretty sweet smile.

"Morning Daddy. Feeling ok?"

I nodded, "very good baby. We should... "

She interrupted me and nodded, "we should talk later. But right now, I am very happy that you feel good." She leaned forward and kissed my cheek.

And as realization came back to me, I laid there in a silent and dumbfounded state, cum coating my still somewhat hard cock, as I watched my mostly naked daughter leave the room. What the fuck was happening to me?

I shouldn't think it, but all I could focus on was kissing her deeply, my tongue pressing between her lips, my hands massaging her breasts, fingers pulling at her skin as I pull her body into mine.

I also shouldn't think this either, but then I thought about stripping her panties down, laying her on the bed, and fucking her. Deeply and frantically.

And in my post-orgasmic state, I began to get hard again.

She acted as if nothing was different as we ate breakfast and went our separate ways. I could do nothing but think about her all day at work. Daughter verses sexual being. The constant struggle.

I didn't do much work that afternoon. My mind obviously focused on other things, more attractive things. I actually found myself looking forward to bedtime.

I got home and discovered she wasn't there. That was only slightly unusual. I struggled over sending her a text for twenty minutes, finally giving in.

"All ok?"

I dreaded the answer. Maybe she had decided that this morning was a big mistake. Maybe she had decided her orgasming father should be avoided. Maybe she had booked a flight to escape to... well anywhere but here.

My phone dinged. "Yup! With Alana! Home soon!" Comforting.

Later, I had just finished putting together dinner when she walked in.

"Hey Dad!" she smiled at me as she came over and hugged me. "How are you feeling?"

"Well, thanks. You?" I asked carefully.

She grabbed my hand and squeezed, "just great! Alana and I had fun."

She started heading to her room, "Oh she says hi."

So, all was fine. Or not. Or maybe on the surface it was fine. No idea.

She came back in, we ate dinner, we did our thing, she came in wearing her panties and shirt combo and snuggled up to me on the couch as we played some mind-numbingly boring whatever on TV, and we kept on going.

I wanted to bring up the morning's activities, but how does one start it all? She seemed to be satisfied without talking about it yet. Maybe her "later" meant in a few days.

She showed up to sleep with me again, something to celebrate. And we nestled into our spoon position, her barely clad bottom against my slightly clad cock.

As I began to wake up, but before I had opened my eyes, I felt her skin beneath my fingers. Smooth. Soft. Inviting.

My body pressed against hers, my hardening dick nestled between her butt cheeks again. Amazingly, I could sleep in this position all night long, likely because it just felt so perfect. I had anticipated this. Hoped for it, really.

I moved my fingers from being pressed against her breast to her stomach and back again. I loved the feeling of the swells and slopes of her perfect body.

As I opened my eyes, my fingers continued to explore her exposed skin, across her navel, around and down to her hip, her thigh, back up to her stomach.

I could do it forever. Leah was just perfect in every way.

"That feels really good, Daddy," she whispered.

I stopped for a moment, not realizing her being awake. Maybe that makes me sicker that I enjoyed this when I thought she was not aware.

But then, she just told me she likes me doing that.

So, I began moving my fingers again. And I could hear her breathing shift.

She kept her hands away, giving me access to her. To all of her. Well maybe not all.

As my fingers moved along her stomach again, she let out a small moan. So fucking sexy. A few more moans like that and I would be making another mess in my boxers.

I rotated my hips against her, and she responded in kind. It felt so good against my hardening dick. Was I doing this again?

My fingers moved up to her breast again, this time brushing my finger tips across her very hard nipple. She took in a breath, and then let it out as a moan again. Yes, I could definitely cum just from listening to her moan.

I moved down again, circling her navel again, the warm smooth skin so soft to my touch. I ended my journey at the waistband of her panties.

I could hear her hold her breath. Time stood still. Did she want this? Did I?

I sure as hell wanted this. She felt like she was anticipating.

I mean, logically, she helped me, so... Oh and I interrupted her the other day so there is that.

But then how wretched would a father have to be to do this to his daughter?

Maybe not. Maybe it was because I loved her so much. Maybe.

My fingers shifted a little. Under the waist band. She still held her breath, but did not stop me.

Further.

Further.

The soft warm smooth skin, hairless, inviting me to explore further yet.

Further.

Finally, my finger touched the top of her labia. I heard Leah make a sound. A moan. Or something.

I slid my finger down her lips, feeling the soft give and take beneath my fingertip, tracing the slit down and back up. Then back down.

I then carefully pressed my finger in, feeling her lips part, and a warm wetness welcoming me. Another long moan from her, the type where it was the result of a build of anticipation.

I slid my finger back up, the wetness engulfing the tip of my finger. My slow journey between her lips ended at the hardness of her small clit, with her letting out a pleasure laced sigh of relief at my touch.

I began to circle it with my finger, and her hips responded in kind, rotating. The motion of my finger against her clit, her hips rolling her butt against my hard dick, it felt like neither of us would last long.

I used my free hand to move her hair from her shoulder, kissing her skin, her neck. Her mouth fell open in a silent moan.

I felt the urgency, the need rising. I wanted her. I wanted her to feel such pleasure, such happiness. I wanted to be a part of that. This beautiful wonderful perfect girl, my girl.

I slid my finger deeper into the warm wetness, sliding back out and spreading her juices across her hardening clit.

"Oh God," she moaned out.

So that was pleasurable. Noted. I continued to explore her -- the wetness, her lips, her clit. And all the while, my very hard dick rubbed between her cheeks against her panties.

I could barely stand it.

I noticed her panties had shifted a little with my hand pushing down, entering her, massaging her. I moved my fingers from her clit to slide her panties easily to her knees, and then quickly returned massaging the most intimate of places. Her moaning never missed a beat.

In response, she moved her one hand back and held onto the waistband of my boxers. It felt like she wanted to pull them down, or at least she was considering it.

For me? I so absolutely desperately wanted to fucking pull them down. I wanted to feel her against me.

Quickly, I decided for her, mine shifted down, and my now naked hard dick settled against her warm, soft butt cheeks.

I had to pause to keep from cumming, it felt so amazing.

My fingers moved in time with my dick.

"Are you close, Daddy?"

With that, I got even closer. I grunted an affirmation.

"With me?"

"Yes baby, with you."

Moans from both of us. Holy shit, I felt this aching pressure. Her beautiful body writhing, her moans pulling me along to oblivion, I felt myself teetering at the edge, and then I felt her body suddenly jolt as she cried out.

Cum shot up her back, our breathing ragged and in sync, me squeezing her tightly as my throbbing cock pushed pulse after pulse of warm cum into her skin.

She held my fingers inside of her pussy, her thighs squeezing my hand into place, her own throbbing walls continuing to set up the aftershocks of her own orgasm.

"Wow," she whispered to no one, the throbbing becoming less frequent.

"Yes, wow," I responded, my half hard cock shifting against her bottom and her lower back, still caked in cum.

I held her naked body, my fingers eventually sliding out of her soaking wet pussy. I rested my wet fingers against her warm stomach, feeling the sweat glistening there.

I hadn't had an orgasm like that in a very very long time. Our bodies trapped my cum between the two of us, yet neither of us seemed to care. I just wanted to remain in this state of heavenly bliss.

But all things eventually come to an end, and as my mind came out of the state of an orgasmic haze, I started actually thinking again.

Thinking about what had just happened. And with who. And what it might mean.

"Daddy, I know you are stressing over this, but there is nothing to stress over," she whispered, as if she could read my mind, cutting off the potential regret and stress at the pass.

"That was so beautiful," she turned her head and smiled at me, unquestionable joy etched across her face.

As cheesy as it sounded, I never have seen someone more beautiful in my life.

On instinct, in the moment, staring at her beautiful face, compelled by her lovely eyes and alluring lips, I reached over and held her chin as I kissed her.

I don't know if this was the biggest most fucked up mistake of my life, but at that moment I just felt happiness. That was all.

Her body turned a little, as did mine. I slid on top of her, my somewhat softening dick now pressed against her hip, my hand still holding her chin, her hands reaching around and pulling my back towards her. Our lips never separated. Deeply we kissed, running our tongues against each other. My fingers on her cheek, guiding her. I felt the urgency build.

Her naked breasts mash against my chest. My thigh moved between her legs and pressed up against her wet pussy.

More and more body moved into hers. We melted, merged.

And then I grew harder again.

A man my age should not need only a few minutes, and yet here I was.

I moved my body completely between her thighs. Her eyes watched me, hazed in lust.

I left her lips and kissed down to her neck, her upper chest, her cute breasts, her lovely very hard nipples. I kissed to her navel. Her body was so perfect. Her hips, her thighs. I looked up, locking eyes with her watching everything I did.

No stress. Only desire.

And so, I kissed her lower lips briefly and made my way back up to her face.

I watched her eyes for a moment, my body between her thighs, my very hard dick poised below her pussy lips. I put both hands on her cheeks and stared into her eyes -- looking for something. Stress or pleasure. Disgust or desire. Fear or love.

Eventually, as if sensing the cause of my hesitation, she silently nodded, the excitement on her face.

I moved my cock up a bit, resting my tip against her lower lips.

It took every ounce of will power I had to not push up and enter her. My body shook in anticipation, as I returned to her eyes. She seemed to be on the edge too.

But she also seemed to be something else. Frustrated, maybe. I felt her fingers dig into my ass cheeks. Yep, definitely frustration.

"Please Daddy. Fuck me. Please," she whispered.