Between a Party and a Ritual

***

Three days after our bad news from the court, I turned twenty. No longer a teenager, I felt very grown up. Since I was a grownup, I had responsibilities and one of them was earning a living, so I couldn't exactly skip work for my birthday.

"Happy Birthday Sandra," our supervisor, Karen.

"Welcome to the world of adults," Pam said as she brought in a fairy cake with a lit candle sticking out. She placed it on the pile of cards I had yet to open. In those days, larger employers, like insurance companies, had their own staff canteens. Fewer than a hundred, there may have been, but they still provided a refectory with a good range of food available at subsidised prices.

"Ah, thanks girls." I blew out the candle and made a wish.

"What's your wish?" someone asked.

"That would be telling." I actually wished that Saturday hadn't happened and that I could resist smoking dope in the future.

"I'd wish for this snow to stop," said Pam. "And it's blowing a gale out there."

"Think yourselves lucky we don't live down south," said Karen. "Blizzards and snow drifts down there. People having to dig their cars out."

"Jesus!"

"You dong anything for your birthday?" Pam was hoping she could drag me out for the night.

"Nah. Had enough of that on Saturday."

"What do you mean?"

"We had a bit of an impromptu party."

"You had a party? Without me!"

"It wasn't supposed to be a party. Inviting a couple of people back from the pub got a bit out of hand. I made a right embarrassment of myself."

"Tell me! Tell me!"

"Later." I leaned in closer to her. "Later, when we don't have an audience."

So I did. We had about ten minutes after everyone else had dispersed. I'd already told everyone about the tribunal verdict, so I told Pam about Friday's escapades. I left out the exhibitionism, of which I was becoming more embarrassed each time I remembered. But then I had to tell her about Larry, and Lisa, and Jay, and Benny. Again, I omitted the extremes of exhibitionism that I was now remembering in full technicolour.

"Fucking Nora! Sandra! You are pushing the boundaries. And Jay is okay with it?" 

"No! Jay has no idea." I lied. Well, I really did not want Pam getting any ideas about Jay as a conquest. We might have had an agreement, but lines had to be drawn somewhere.

***

"Come home to ours after work," I suggested to Pam. She jumped at the chance. 

"Only if I can stop over. I've got clean knickers with me."

"D'you always come prepared?"

"Well, I was going to persuade you to go out for a drink."

"And you just assumed..."

"You are my best mate!"

"We'll get something on the way home. And you can only stay if you promise to stay on the couch."

"Oh, okay."

So, we arrived back at the bedsit at 5.30pm with vodka, orange juice, some cans of lager, and some cans of bitter. Jay arrived not long after.

"Jesus!" Jay said as he saw the stack on the table. "Are you planning on getting pissed again?"

"No. I plan on having a couple of drinks along with Pam, you, Ted and Denis, if they want to pop in."

"Why?"

"Because it's my birthday."

"It's you birthday? Really? I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Piss off, Jay."

"You might want these then." Jay walked back through the door and came back in with two wrapped LP-shaped presents and an enormous bunch of flowers.

"Wow! They are beautiful!"

"I wish I had a man that bought me flowers like that," Pam said. "Flowers should be growing, not stuck in a vase, he tells me."

"Just tell him they'll die on the plant anyway," Jay suggested.

"Jay! That's the album I've been waiting weeks for," I said as I ripped the paper off Kate Bush's 'Kick Inside' album. "It only came out last week!" I threw my arms around him and kissed him. 

"You want me to leave?" Pam said.

"Don't be daft." I opened the other album; it was 'Rumours', by Fleetwood Mac. 

"Well done, Jay." Pam's sarcasm cut through. "You bought her presents you can both enjoy."

"Nah. Not that fond of flowers."

"Which one to play first? Ooh! Dilemma."

"You don't have to play either. You can wait and enjoy them alone," Jay offered.

I chose Kate Bush.

"Shall we all chip in for a takeaway?" Jay suggested. "I fancy trying the Indian on Bridge Road."

"I've never had Indian Food," Pam admitted. "Whats it like?"

"No idea. Never had it either. I'll go get it, then we can see what your mum and dad and mine bought you."

"Shit! Forgot about them."

"I'll get a vase sorted for the flowers."

So, Jay went out and half an hour later, returned with a bag full of food.

***

"Come on then," insisted Pam. "Open your pressies." We'd all finished eating by seven-thirty.

The first one was from my mum and dad. "It's one of them digital watches," observed Pam.

"One of our tutors got one of them about five years ago. Cost him over a hundred quid. Last year he got a newer one for under a tenner!" Jay told us.

"Can't wait to have a play with that," I said, putting the box aside to open the other one. "Is that..?" I started and pulled out the chain with little figures dangling from it. "Fucking hell it is. It's a gold charm bracelet. It's got," I counted, "six charms on it. A little fish for my birth sign, a dog. What's that for?"

"That'll be your Chinese birth sign, year of the dog." Jay explained. "I don't think it's any reflexion on your beauty, my love. And a little house to wish us luck in our home search."

"There's a twin heart," said Pam.

"I crucifix. Better not take that to the coven. That's his mother, bloody Catholics!"

"San!" Jay shouted. "Don't be..."

"I know. I'm only kidding. It goes with the shamrock. And lastly, a rabbit."

"I wonder if she realised they shag like... well, rabbits."

"Don't think so. But this must have cost a bomb!"

"That's my mam for you. Only the best."

"Best get this mess cleared up, in case our neighbours call in," I suggested. We all mucked in and cleared up. I took the dirty plates down to the kitchen to wash, crossing paths with the landlady at the bottom of the stairs. "Evening Mrs Mallory." I beamed a smile at her. She just grunted and walked into her flat..

Ted was just drying his dishes when I entered the kitchen. "Hello, young lady," he greeted. "I heard you being pleasant to the battle axe. Traitor."

"What can I say, Ted? I need to keep on her good side."

"Of course!"

"Pop in for a drink, if you want."

"Oh, yes. It's your birthday. Happy birthday. Twenty are you?"

"Yes. I'm an old woman now." He guffawed at this.

By the timed I walked back into our room, Dennis had joined the little group and had sat on the settee. He was trying to look up Pam's work skirt. I couldn't figure out why, since he'd already seen everything there is to see of her.

I'd just poured Jay, Pam and myself drinks and passed a can to Denis, when Ted knocked. He settled for a can of lager and we all settled down to listen to some Kate Bush and chat about the world and how unfair courts were to the proletariats. Around nine o'clock, our musings were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Jesus, Mallory! The music's not loud," I muttered. 

"That's too timid for Mallory," Ted observed.

I still expected a tirade from Mallory, and I pulled open the door and stood, stunned, staring at a fully-dressed Lisa. "Hi, Sandra." Her words were barely audible. "I've just come to say sorry." She swallowed. "About Saturday and the erm, you know, trying it on with your boyfriend."

"Fiance!" 

"Your fiance, I mean. I... I need to stop drinking and taking stuff."

"I know what you mean, kid." Well, I was twenty, so I could call her kid. "Did Julie make you do this?"

"No!" She seemed insulted. "Well, she said I should, but she didn't make me. She told me everything I'd done and," she hesitated. "Well, I'm a bit... I think I'm a bit ashamed."

"Don't be. Embarrassed, yes. Don't be ashamed. Come in and chat." I hadn't really thought that through and, on reflection, inviting her in was a bit cruel.

"Oh! Fucking shit!" The first eyes she met were Jay's.

"Hi Lisa. Nice to see you, too."

She turned to see Dennis. "Oh! You too. Hi." To say she was embarrassed would be an understatement.

Ted looked puzzled. "Am I missing something?"

"Well, you certainly missed something on Saturday."

"Denis! Behave!" I admonished. "Take a seat, girl, or a cushion on the floor." I pulled down the bed and sat on the edge. "The old guy is Ted, by the way." Ted demonstrably cleared his throat. "He lives down stairs. And the attractive blonde is my workmate, Pam."

"Hi. I'm Lisa. I... I suppose I should apologise to everyone." She took a chair by the table.

"No need to apologise, love. Most of us enjoyed the show."

"Denis!" I turned to Lisa. "Take no notice. You were drunk and made a fool of yourself. We all do it."

"Well, you..." she hesitated.

"Yes. I did as well, but I had an excuse."

"What was your excuse, babe?" Jay was grinning like Lewis Carrol's cat.

"I was drunk, stoned and felt I needed to make a point."

"What did I miss?" Ted seemed desperate to know.

"Just me flashing my naked body to a room full of bikers."

Lisa shot me a looked that betrayed her shock.

"What? I'm embarrassed, but not as much as I was when I realised that I'd done it. As I said, we all make fools of ourselves."

"I didn't actually see you flashing," said Dennis. "Any chance of you..."

"Shut up, perv!" I interrupted him. "If you want another drink in this room, no more comments."

"What is it that this girl did, then?" Ted, still wanting a blow by blow account.

"Well apparently..."

"Dennis! Second warning. It's not our story to tell. If Lisa wants to, that's up to her. If she doesn't, that's fine."

"No. I'll tell him." Lisa's timid voice floated across the room. Everyone was silenced. "I flaunted myself at Jay. In front of everyone. Naked."

"Oh!" Ted looked embarrassed. 

"I missed most of it because I was..." Dennis stopped himself.

"You were in your room giving Julie one!" I exposed his 'secret.'

"What?" Lisa, Jay and Ray called like a Greek chorus.

"Well, yes."

"Sorry, Lise. Do you want a vodka?" I offered.

"God no! I need to try to stop drinking."

"Good for you."

"It makes me do stupid things."

"No need to feel embarrassed," Jay said. "Women are always throwing themselves at me." Pam, who hadn't said a word since Lisa arrived, looked across at Jay and back at me.

"It's true. You should hear some of his stories. He drives a cab and the things these women offer him is eye opening. Sometimes he takes them up on it."

Everyone's eyes seemed to double in size, apart from Jay.

"It's true," piped up Dennis. "Woman will offer all sorts if they can save a few bob on the fare. I have a black Hack and I wish they'd offer before I start the meter."

"And you're alright with that?" Lisa asked me.

"Who does he come home to and sleep with every night? You probably don't remember, but I told you on Saturday, we have an arrangement."

"They have a signed..."

"Dennis! Not your story to tell!"

"Sorry." He had the good grace to look down at his knees.

"Another drink, anyone?" Everyone nodded, bar Lisa. "Your turn, Jay. Pour the drinks, pass the cans. Give Lisa an orange juice." I looked to Lisa. "Are you okay with us drinking while you're not?"

"I'll manage, I think. I can leave."

"No. Please stay. You look like you need some good mates."

"Why are you being so nice to me? I've been a total cunt!"

"Because she is the kindest, most understanding woman in the world." I beamed my love across the room at Jay. "Don't question it, just take it."

"You're such a sweetie." I said. "You've been quiet, Pam."

"I just wish you'd have invited me."

"There weren't any invitations. People just sort of drifted here after the pub."

"Sounds like you had fun."

"Yes. Well, some of us did." Jay winked at me.

"Well, I did. Apparently. I was too pissed to notice."

"And stoned. And horny."

"Jay."

"What? It's what you said."

"Okay! So I realised that Blow makes me horny and aggressive."

"Really?" Dennis grinned.

"Don't get any ideas. I'm very choosey."

"Are you?" Jay was being mischievous.

"Shall we change the subject? What did everyone think of Kate Bush?"

"Just love that voice," Pam admitted.

"Me too. Thanks darling." I said to Jay.

"My pleasure."

So, the rest of the night was spent having a few drinks, while getting more than a little tipsy, having a laugh about Mallory and listening to advice from Ted about finding somewhere to live. Oh, and listening to Kate Bush and Fleetwood Mac. I quite enjoyed watching Dennis and Ted getting steadily drunk. More so, Dennis's pathetic attempt at flirting with Lisa, who was far too young for him. I mean, he was at least ten years older than she was.

True to her word, Lisa only drank orange and lemonade, and a cup of coffee that I offered everyone at around ten, so she took Dennis's advances with a quiet humour. Pam drank more than I did, and I was tipsy enough, unlike Jay, who seemed relatively sober, though it was always difficult to tell with him.

***

After making sure everyone's cups were empty, I made a collection and took them to the kitchen. I washed up and dried, tidying the kitchen before I left. Well, I didn't want to upset Mallory. I was walking out as Suzie closed the front door.

"Hi, Sandra. Happy birthday."

"Oh, thanks Sue."

"Suzanne or Suzie, please." She was very polite about it. Not a hint of ire. We met at the bottom of the stair and stood.

"You're like me. I prefer San."

"Oh, you should have told me!"

"It's fine. I don't mind, Sandra, it is my name. But never, ever Sandy."

"Well, San, did you have a good birthday?"

"Same as most days, really. I still had to go to work."

"But you had a few drinks to celebrate."

"Oh, can you tell?"

"There's a hint."

"If you'd been earlier, you could have come in for one." I said as I signalled for her to go up ahead of me.

"I'd have liked that. Another time maybe."

"You can pop in and say hello. Ted's here, Dennis, too. My mate Pam, from work, is stopping over." We stopped on the landing. "And Lisa, the stripper called in."

"Nooo!"

"She came to apologise."

"Well, good for her. That takes courage."

"I thought that. That's why I asked her to stay. She deserves a bit of friendship if she's prepared to do that."

"That's probably a bit more understanding than I would be, I think."

"Life's short. People deserve a second chance. I gouge her fucking ovaries out if she tries it on with Jay again, though."

"That's more like it."

Speaking of the devil, as we were, the door opened and Lisa came out. "Oh, sorry. Just going to the toilet."

"One up there," Suzie said.

"And one down there." I added.

"Yes, I remember. Thanks."

Lisa walked down to the mezzanine below.

"Anyway, I'll take you up on the offer another time. Too knackered right now. Goodnight San." 

"Okay. Goodnight." I walked back in and put the cups in a cupboard.

"Was that Suzie?" Jay asked.

"Yes. She was just coming home."

"Should have invited her in."

"I did. She said she was too tired. I'm just off to the loo."

I pulled the door open just as Lisa was about to turn the doorknob. 

The hint was taken when I walked back in wearing my un-sexy nighty and carrying my clothes. I left my knickers on. I didn't want any accidental flashing this time.

"Well, children," said Ted. "It's probably time for me to off myself to bed." He said his goodnights to us all and left.

"I should piss off as well," said Lisa, grabbing her duffel coat from the back of the chair.

"I'll walk you down to the door," Dennis offered. He was such a trier. "Do you want me to call you a cab?"

"I can't afford a cab," she replied. "Anyway, I don't live that far."

"You sure? It's a chilly night."

"I'm dressed for it." She turned to me. "Thanks again, for the... you know."

"Understanding."

"Yes. Understanding. I don't deserve it."

"No. You don't. But everyone deserves a second chance at a first impression."

 "You are so lovely. Thank you. See you in the pub."

"Yes. You will."

Dennis and Lisa walked out together, leaving Jay, Pam, and me. Well, l that was a pleasant evening." I said.

"It was," said Pam.

"Wow! Look at that moon!" Jay exclaimed as he was about to close the curtains. Pam and I joined him at the window.

"That's beautiful." I said.

"What? It's just a full moon." Pam was not as spiritual as we were.

"Fucking Philistine!" I said. "Leave the curtains open. Let it shine in when we switch the lights off." Jay did. Pam left to use the bathroom, and I pulled out the bedding to make up the settee for her, then I turned off the lights. "That is beautiful," I said. "It makes everything look so positive. Makes me feel optimistic." I put my arms around Jay and pulled him in for a kiss. "I love you, Jay Parkinson."

"You'd better. Why else would I put up with your quirks and outrageous behaviour?" I punched him on the arm just as Pam walked in. "Right! Off for my last piss of the night."

"Can I..."

"No!" He walked out.

Pam didn't bother with the refineries of nightwear, nor did she bother with modesty. As we chatted small talk about Ted and Dennis, she disrobed, first revealing her petite tits; their overall size gave the impression of very large areolae with already erect nipples.

She sat to remove her jeans and panties and, as she stood, the full moon through the window illuminated the shape of her vulva, with the curves of its full outer lips, slightly parted by her inner labia as if awaiting fingers to part them. Unlike mine, the hood of her clitoris was clearly visible. A girl doesn't get to see that many yonis in real life and though Jay had told me they were all quite different, it surprised me at how different hers was from mine. It also surprised me at how aroused the sight of my naked friend making me feel.

"When you've finished staring!" Pam's voice pulled me away from the danger of fantasy. "Not seen a naked woman before?" She slid under the bedding.

"Sorry, Pam. I was just wishing I had a figure like yours."

"Go on a crash diet and you might get one." Her words stung.

"Diet or not, I'd never have tits like that."

"Would you want them? I'd kill to have them double overnight." She plumped up her pillows and lay down. "Anyway, that vodka has wiped me out. I was already falling asleep during the conversation before." She gaped a wide yawn, shivered and closed her eyes.

"Yes. Goodnight. Remember, stay on the couch tonight."

"Of course I will. Goodnight, my friend." She took a deep breath. "You are, you know."

"I am what?" I said.

"A friend. A good one. The best I've known."

Her words almost compensated for the diet comment. I just assumed it was the alcohol talking.

"Thanks Pam."

"Welcome."

Now that pam's eyes were closed, I slipped off my clothes and slipped into bed just before Jay walked in. He slipped into bed as I rolled onto my side, taking up most of his domain. We hugged and kissed. Already I could feel him stiffening against me.

"Don't you ever dry that thing off when you've been for a piss?" I whispered.

"I shake."

"Shush," I said. "I mean use toilet paper. Dry properly."

"No need." He whispered this time.

"My wet thighs say otherwise."

"Sorry." He slid his hand between us and dragged his wet tip across my pubes. "That better?"

"Slob."

He kissed me again, and I could sense my previous arousal intensifying Jay's hand wandered to my damp entrance. 

"Mmm. That's quick," he said, feeling my escaping lubrication."

"I could say the same." I rolled his glans between my thumb and forefinger.