Between the Lines

Izzie read the email again. It was truth time. Did she really have the moxie she had professed in her earlier emails to go through with it? She dabbed the cold sweat off the back of her neck with a Kleenex as she continued to stare at the question on the screen.

The battle had been raging in her head ever since he had offered to fulfill her fantasy of being treated like Mouse in his story 'Broken, But Loveable'.

Part of her shouted, "You don't know him. You only know what he tells you in his emails. He could be a serial killer. Be safe; refuse the invitation."

Another part screamed just as loudly, "for god's sake you're thirty and never done an adventuresome act in your life. Stop living through your stories on Lit. For once in your life, take a chance and live on the edge."

Her finger shakily moved and touched reply.

SNG,

Received your email and accept your offer. Will follow your instructions and arrive at ten tonight. Izzie. She quickly backspaced and changed it to her pen name, Bella.

Clicking send, she let out a deep breath. Izzie took a bite of her now cold buttered toast and washed it down with a sip of tea. She scrunched her face as she swallowed the bitter tepid liquid. Glancing at the time on her screen, she saw it was later than she thought and now had to hurry if she was going to make it to work on time.

Izzie sat on the end of the bed and slipped on a pair of knee highs. Donning the soft light green blouse with the floral pattern, she buttoned it up leaving the top one undone. She pulled up the tan slacks and stepped into her brown casual low heels.

Izzie brushed her short, mousy brown hair and put on a soft peach lip-gloss. She carefully applied eyeliner to draw attention to what she considered her best attribute, her emerald green eyes. Making a final check in the mirror, she slipped on her coat, grabbed her purse, and dashed to the car.

The drive was cross town but in a town of twenty-five thousand, that equated to a fifteen minute trip. She turned into the parking lot, noting the number of children impatiently waiting in the cars for the library to open. Her nervousness about tonight's adventure faded to the background as thoughts of today's story time filled her mind. She parked at the end of the lot and entered the employee entrance.

"Mornin' Izzie. Ready to mesmerize your devoted admirers?"

She looked to see Sterling with his teasing grin filling his coffee mug. Izzie smiled. "You watch how you talk about my kids. You're just jealous of all my Valentines. You could have become a children's librarian instead of going into reference."

Sterling shook his head. "No thanks. I enjoy the quiet and have no desire to go home full of Elmer's glue and glitter."

Izzie grinned like the Cheshire Cat. "I wouldn't trade it for the world." She made her cup of tea and retreated to her office in the children's department. She had about ten minutes of solitude before the quiet would be shattered.

Her thoughts drifted to what should have been. She would have had a child or two by now if her boyfriend in college hadn't turned out to be a lying, cheating, asshole who used her to graduate. He told her about the infidelity and falling in love... right after grades were posted. The grades she'd helped him achieve by turning his ho-hum papers into masterpieces. The infidelity hurt, but it was the feeling of being strung along and used that ripped her heart out. She dabbed the corner of her eye with a Kleenex, blaming the tear on the glitter that was on everything in her office. For now, her love life existed in the erotic romances she wrote.

The rush of sneakered feet and exuberant laughter brought a shushing sound from her young teenage assistants. Izzie shook her head and finished her tea. She'd told them before to forget the quiet rule at story time. Teaching kids to love reading was her objective.

She picked up one of the books she'd chosen and walked to the raised, carpeted platform at the far end of the room. The noise faded to silence as she sat on the top step and gazed over her brood. Her eyes scanned the parents along the book stacks, lingering for a moment on the hazel eyes looking back at her. Her dimples appeared. She blinked and looked back at the anxious shiny eyes surrounding her.

"Since it is Valentine's Day tomorrow, I have two of my favorite Valentine stories to read today." She held up the cover and slowly moved it in an arc for all to see. "The first is 'Nate The Great And The Mushy Valentine' by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat."

Every young eye was riveted on her as she read and displayed the colorful illustrations of the story. When she was finished, she nodded her head, signaling for one of her assistants to bring her the other book while the other started filling the paper cups with the punch in the refrigerator.

Izzie talked about the story they'd just heard and then asked questions, causing little hands to frantically wave in the air. She smiled and nodded at their answers, trying not to laugh like the parents when an unexpected answer brought a blush from an embarrassed mother.

She exchanged books with her assistant and held up the new one for all to see. Her dimples reappeared after looking into those hazel eyes again. Izzie prepared herself for the reaction she would hear in a moment.

"This story is called 'Roses Are Pink, Your Feet Really Stink' by Diane DeGroat." The laughter exploded and Izzie waited until it died down to begin. The story had been a hit since the first year she'd read it.

After the story she invited everyone to enjoy the refreshments in back while her staff set out the material to make a special Valentine to bring home.

"This is for you Izzie."

She turned to see a smiling blue-eyed angel holding out a valentine for her.

Izzie read the card and smiled. "Thank you Lindsey, that was very sweet of you. I'll put it up for everyone to see."

The little smile turned into a big grin as she ran back and wrapped her arms around her father's leg.

Izzie smiled at mister hazel eyes and took the Valentine to her office where she taped it on the window with her others.

~*~

Izzie stood as the last parent and child walked out the door. She'd already sent her helpers to lunch after they restored the room to a useable condition. Pushing the vacuum back into its corner of the supply closet, she retrieved her empty cup and headed for the break room and a much needed cup of tea.

Sterling stood as Izzie entered the room. He took her hand and twirled her around inspecting the glue, glitter, and bits of paper attached to her clothing.

"Very fashionable Izzie. I'd guess it either frazzled mom or overzealous librarian."

Izzie chuckled at her gray-haired coworker. "I'll happily do them both."

Sterling nodded his head. "You already have the second job sweetie. Any headway on the first one? How about that secret admirer?"

Izzie shook her head. "None. That's my bashful admirer, and even he's a no show this year. I'm coming to the conclusion I'm cursed to remain a spinster and watch other people's kids grow up."

Sterling heard her sadness. "Be patient. There's a man out there who'll admire your beauty and intelligence. He'll show up when you least expect him."

"I hope your right." Izzie made her tea and returned to her office pondering her solitary future.

She saw it on her desk with a note, 'left at front desk'. Izzie hurriedly cut the strapping tape and opened the foot square box. She removed the smaller square box nestled in the middle of the Styrofoam peanuts. She giggled; her dismal thoughts gone. I was from him, bashful admirer.

Izzie wiped her eyes with a Kleenex; admonishing herself for crying over an unknown admirer. She removed the handwritten note and admired the nine luscious truffles from The Chocolate Garden. She picked out one and took a small bite, letting it melt in her mouth as she savored the raspberry flavor of its creamy chocolate center.

Let's see what you say this year, she thought as she opened the note.

Izzie,

My heart quickens every time I gaze upon your moist, sensuous lips. If only I could speak what my heart desires.

Your Bashful Admirer.

Izzie picked up the phone and called extension ten.

"Front desk."

"It's Izzie, did you see who left the package for me?"

"Sorry Izzie, I didn't. It was busy this morning. I noticed the package setting on the corner of the counter after the crowd left. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, whoever left it forgot to put their name on the card. Thanks anyway."

She reread the note trying to imagine who he was. If only he would speak. She placed it in her purse to take home. It would go in her diary with the other two.

The rest of her day moved smoothly helping children and parents select books to check out or if they had the time to get comfortable in one of the many nooks created in the room for children and parents to read together.

She ran into Sterling emptying the last of the coffee when she came into the break room to wash her cup. She patted him on the shoulder as she walked past.

"My bashful admirer made his appearance."

Sterling arched an eyebrow. "So, who is this mystery man?"

Izzie shrugged. "I'm beginning to think the invisible man. He left the package at the front desk this morning and nobody noticed him." She smiled. "At least he's still interested, so there's hope someday he'll make himself known."

Sterling stroked his chin. "Or you'll find out and approach him."

Izzie chuckled. "If I knew, I definitely would."

~*~

After work, Izzie began her usual routine. She stopped to pick up something for dinner. Tonight's dining experience would be a tossed salad with sliced roasted chicken breast from the grocery store deli and a diet Coke already chilling in the fridge.

She put the salad in the fridge next to the coke and jumped in the shower to remove the remains of today's Valentine's projects from her body before donning sweats and enjoying dinner in front of the TV.

At the commercial break, she tossed the empty containers in the trash and set the silverware in the sink. Grabbing another soda, she started to return to the living room when she noticed the papers in front of the computer. They were the 'Broken' story she'd been reading.

"Oh my god, tonight!" She glanced over at the clock hanging in the kitchen. She'd been so involved at work with the kids and then the admirer's gift that she'd completely forgotten about tonight's meeting.

Izzie turned off the TV and hurried upstairs. She started filling the tub for the bubble bath he'd requested and set her razor and scissors next to the tub. She double checked to make sure her robe was hanging on the hook behind the door before removing her sweats and folding them over the bedroom chair.

Izzie relaxed in the hot fragrant water and let the tension melt away. She let her mind wander to his story, shivering at the thought of being naked and restrained as he tortured her body with a feather and his lips. It had been so long since someone had touched her in an intimate way.

She tried to imagine what he would look like since they'd never disclosed their physical appearance to one another. She kept seeing him as the character 'Nate' he wrote about with strong features covered in scars. The image frightened, but excited her. She remembered reading about his gentleness toward 'Mouse.'

Izzie picked up the razor and shaved her arm pits and then her legs. She washed with the sponge before letting the water start to run out for her next task he required. Taking the scissors, she trimmed her pubic hair to short stubble. She plugged the water when it was below her mound and picked up the razor. After the second swipe, Izzie giggled like a school girl and had to stop. The thought of the mild mannered librarian having a wild side and shaving her pubes so she could be ravaged by a stranger was unfathomable. She shook her head and concentrated on finishing without nicking herself.

Izzie dressed in jeans and a sweat shirt sans underwear. A pair of socks and slip-ons completed the outfit. Brushing out her hair, she looked in the mirror and shrugged. He requested no makeup.

She went downstairs and poured herself a glass of white wine. She picked up his directions along with the story and sat in her favorite reading chair.

Izzie sipped as she reread the pages detailing the bedroom and the feather. The thought made her nipples harden. She started from the beginning with the feather moving up 'Mouse's' side and began memorizing the sequence of what would be happening shortly.

Izzie was about to reread the sequence for the third time when she noticed the time. Placing her glass in the sink, she gathered her stuff and left.

She drove north to County Line Road and took a left. The farther she drove away from Stockwell, the darker it became until her headlights were two narrow bands of light slicing through the black emptiness. His instructions were to turn left at the first lit crossroad and to stop at the first farmhouse on the right.

In the absence of light, time seemed to fly and distance went on forever. A pale spot appeared far ahead. Time raced by as the spot grew larger and brighter until she saw the crossroad sign for Spencer Road. She turned left and saw scarce few lights coming from a two story farm house on the right hand side of the road. As she neared, her lights reflected off the red markers of the driveway entrance.

Izzie felt a twinge of fear as she stopped next to the house. Her hands tightly gripped the steering wheel; the car still running. She stared at her reflection in the rear view mirror. "Okay what's it gonna be? Go inside for the most crazy, erotic thing I've ever done, or turn around and return home and write about another life I wished was mine." Her hand moved to the shift lever and froze... before moving lower to turn off the engine. Izzie hesitantly walked in the darkness toward the light bathing the ground around the front entryway. Climbing the six limestone steps, she entered, as instructed, without knocking.

An old brass chandelier fitted with a dozen bulbs shaped like flickering flames hung in the entryway. The dark green wallpaper with its rows of tiny white flowers gave the illusion you stepped back to an era before automobiles. The hardwood floor had a yellowish luster that looked a foot thick from years of tender treatment. A polished board ran the length of one wall at eye level. Shiny brass hooks with white porcelain knobs were attached every six inches holding a couple of the resident's coats. A blue Pepsi jacket with dirty sleeves hung away from the nicer apparel.

On the refinished oak half moon console sat an open bottle of sparkling wine in a silver ice bucket with two crystal wine glasses beside it. A note written with a bold hand leaned against the glasses.

Welcome Bella. Please hang your coat on the hook behind you. Take a glass of wine and proceed upstairs to the lighted room on your right. Instructions will be on the night stand.

Izzie removed her coat and place it on the hook. She filled a glass and took a sip, nodding her approval. Looking past the entryway, the shiny floor on the ground level led into a dark and forbidding abyss. She slowly climbed the stairs, noticing a creak in almost every step. At the top, a mystical glow came from the room on the right. She slowly moved toward it, stopping to take a large sip before peering inside from the doorway. She spotted the reason and moved quickly inside for a closer inspection.

The two nightstands each had a candle burning inside a square candle holder constructed of a mirror on the back reflecting the light through three pieces of pink pebble glass all held together by a soldered copper frame. She saw the note, but also the bed with its pillows and comforter removed and laid neatly on the cedar chest by the window. Izzie trembled at the sight of the four leather restraints tethered by ropes tied to the thick hickory bedposts. In the middle lay a black sleep mask with white lace around its edges.

Izzie picked up the note and sat on the edge of the bed.

Bella,

Please disrobe and hang your clothes in the armoire. Fasten the cuffs to your ankles and left wrist. Unlike Mouse your vision is excellent, so put on the mask and ring the bell on the nightstand three times. Lay back and wait for my arrival. If your claims of adventure were exaggerated, bring the bell downstairs and ring once before leaving.

Izzie grabbed one of the restraints and pulled to see it was securely fastened. She nervously looked at the strong nylon ropes holding the leather restraints realizing once all four were secured she was at the mercy of whoever was here. She slowly circled the room, noting the old pictures on the turn of the century gray fern pattern wall paper with the sage background. There were no photos of the current resident.

A cold chill ran through her. Izzie picked up the bell and scurried down the steps, almost falling, sending the bell clanging across the floor. Leaning against the wall gasping for breath, she saw the white papers she'd hurriedly stuffed in her coat pocket. The title of his story glared at her.

Izzie poured herself another glass of courage. Wasn't she broken like them; not physically, but on the inside? Other than work, she lived in solitude like him.

She picked up the bell and started upstairs. The walk back to the bedroom was slower, but resolved. She removed her clothes and placed them in the armoire.

She looked closely in the armoire's mirror at her naked rubenesque shape. Her eyes glistened in the candlelight as she turned to the left and then the right, her eyes slowly moving downward appraising her beauty; wondering what her mystery lover will think.

Setting the mask and the bell by her hip, Izzie secured both her ankles. She lay back and attached the strap to her left wrist. Sliding the mask over her eyes, Izzie rang the bell three times and set it back on the night stand. Taking a deep breath, she positioned her right wrist next to the remaining restraint.

The loss of sight brought an eerie feeling to the old house's noises. Every little creak or rattle brought another shiver of uncertainty and placed her senses on alert. Izzie lay there, her hearing straining, nervously waiting to hear the footsteps of his arrival.

Her breath caught in her throat as she heard the distant creak of a door opening, followed by another creak and the metallic click of a latch. Distant footsteps came toward the downstairs entryway... then retreated the way they came.

Izzie heard him coming again. He stopped in the entryway... before proceeding with slow heavy clops up the stairs. She listened carefully as he neared the room...then all was quiet.

She lay still; trying to hear his breathing. She grabbed the loose restraint and shook it like 'Mouse', clearly understanding her frustration.

A deep chuckle froze her movement and made her shiver in fear...and excitement.

She twitched and tried to pull away when a strong hand grasped her arm and fastened the remaining restraint.

"Nice to finally meet you Bella, I've looked forward to this moment." His voice low and gravelly.

Izzie nodded her head. "I didn't hear you enter. Do I call you Nate?"

"You enjoy the sound of my wooden shoes? I removed them at the doorway. You can use Nate if it makes you feel more comfortable. I noticed you started to change your mind. Last chance to back out. What's it to be Bella; unbelievable ecstasy or return to your old existence?"

Quiet hung in the air as Izzie weighed her fear against her desire. "Do it." She whispered.

"You won't regret it Bella", his gravelly voice replied.

He removed his robe and hung it in the armoire before removing a couple of feathers from the bottom right drawer.