Beware the Orgasmatron

Credit to Woody Allen for the name and concept of the Orgasmatron

Proceedings of the 211^th World Management Council

Mexico City, North America

August 12, 465

The Honorable Heinrich Palo

Chairperson, Human Morals Committee, World Management Council

Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for assembling for this conference and hearing my message today. I believe this is a historic moment for us and for all mankind. In the 465 years since Jose Hernandez organized this World Management Council, our society has encountered many threats and many challenges. And we have overcome all of them through intelligent and forceful effort. At the same time we have created a solid social system which emphasizes personal responsibility to individuals and our civilization. Our marriage laws ensure that children are only conceived in two partner marriages and casual sexual contact is minimized, thus ensuring a stable and productive society.

But despite those accomplishments, I believe we now face a potentially existential threat from humanity's past. We have benefited in many ways from the technology left behind by The Old Ones. But one device from that technology has recently been understood for the first time.

Before I present my own recommendations for managing this crisis, I would like to read the Orgasmatron Report created two years ago by doctors Henderson and Migamy. I think it is vital that we are all reminded of the important lessons in that report.

***************************************

Report on Historical Effects of the Orgasmatron

University of Africa

January 15, 463

Dr. Lawrence Henderson PhD. and Dr. Mitsuko Migamy PhD.

The progress of mankind in the last 400 years has been incredible. 400 years ago there were only small tribal societies spread over the planet. Most people struggled to live. Much of the improvement since that time came from finding artifacts of a previous civilization which gave ideas to current-day inventors. Inventions like steam engines, airplanes, electricity, etc. were all based on remaining artifacts of similar machines from 500 years earlier. Until now, we never knew exactly where that earlier civilization came from, and why it had died out. Hopefully, our society will not make the same mistakes.

For decades now, archeologists have been mining the wealth of artifacts and records from that earlier civilization (we will call then The Old Ones for this report). We have learned their multiple languages and been able to understand many of the rituals and conventions of their society. The study of this history has enabled our society to advance quickly in science and technology -- much more quickly than The Old Ones did.

The Old Ones' civilization, covering the whole world, developed in the much longer time of about 10,000 years. They had developed advanced technology, enlightened governing and material comfort that made life for most people safe and enjoyable. The worldwide population at their peak is estimated at almost 8 billion people. Then their entire civilization collapsed in about ten years. Their calendar system counted years from the birth of a religious figure in Palestine. The decline and fall happened in roughly the years 2022-2032 of their calendar.

Mankind seemed to be ever-rising until the 2020's and then all societies collapsed. No reason was known. Advanced technologies had expanded human capabilities to improve their lives, but also expanded their ability to destroy those lives.

The clearest example of that was their communications technology. They had been able to remotely speak to each other through wire networks for over 100 years. After their year 2000, a new electronic network of wires and radio waves allowed individuals to speak to thousands or millions of others simultaneously and anonymously. Instead of spreading information and good wishes however, many people began to broadcast hateful, deceptive and humiliating messages and to incite others to violence. This led to a breakdown of civilized behavior and organization of competing political groups into virtual armies.

A world-wide pandemic starting in 2020 was suspected of causing the collapse, but all evidence says they were able to adapt and overcome that threat. But, during 2022-2032, all governments, all religions, all social organizations collapsed. Apparently there was no longer any desire to work and improve. Millions died of violence, starvation and disease. For about 100 years of darkness there was only survival for small groups of individuals in remote locations. Then societies began to expand and rebuild. 465 years after that we are now back to the level of wealth and safety of the prior civilization in their year 2020.

Now, after years of study of the historical records, we have found out the primary reason for the collapse. Amidst the incredible benefits of mechanical and electronic technology, one product accelerated the end of their world -- the Orgasmatron. Although historians have been aware of the device for some time, we had no idea of its function and its catastrophic effects.

There were about 192 "countries" on the planet, most in conflict with each other. Fortunately, the concept of countries is now extinct. The Orgasmatron was invented in the United States of America, part of what is now North America. The exact location is unknown, but evidence points to a region called "silicon valley".

The Orgasmatron was a mechanical/electrical device. The remaining examples of the device are quite small and extremely complex. Millions of the devices have been recovered, almost all of them around the necks of human bodies. For that reason, they were long considered some type of religious artifact or ritual burial ornament. Until now, no one knew its purpose or function.

But, after years of study, we have learned that the device was designed to trigger long and intense sexual orgasms in humans. Early user reviews included terms such as: "Oh my God! I've never... I've never felt like that", "That was fantastic! I'll never go back to messy physical sex again", "Wow! I need to do that again right now." We speculate that the name Orgasmatron has been corrupted through the centuries and is the basis for our word "Ormaton", meaning evil spirit.

We know that orgasms are triggered by physical stimulation of the many erogenous zones on the human body combined with mental thoughts and images related to sexual intercourse. In our society, such arousal is strictly limited to committed couples in permanent relationships. Our severe legal and social restrictions on sexual behavior may actually be rooted in the history of mankind and the curse of the Orgasmatron.

About two years ago we discovered a cache of paper documents which describe the invention, production and social history of the Orgasmatron. We were fortunate to find this treasure in paper form as most records of the time were stored on electronic media, now unreadable. We were able to translate most of the records, although there were many colloquial terms that had no definition. Terms like "Fuck me" and "fine piece of ass" seem to have no corresponding words in our language.

The records show that the Orgasmatron was first developed in the early 2020's by a man known as Jack Mehoff. But there are no biographical records of anyone by that name. Complete diagrams and description of the device were included and are now being studied at the University of Africa with hopes to recreate the machine.

The records show that the first few models were very expensive and therefore had a very limited market. It required a dedicated room, was not very reliable and was extremely expensive. Evidently the existence of the device was kept secret from the general population for several years. Only an elite group called the "Billionaires" had access to it.

New models around 2026 brought the price down markedly (about 95%), increased reliability and reduced the size to that of a small suitcase. The public announcement of the device's capabilities was enthusiastically celebrated around the world. Demand for the devices exploded far beyond the manufacturing capacities. The inventor was applauded from all quarters.

But, bad effects from addiction started to show up quickly. People could now have fantastic orgasms any time and any place. It didn't require a partner, so it was effectively a masturbation machine. All of the power of the human sex drive was pushing millions of people to use their device often -- in some cases, continuously.

Many governments and religious organizations proposed regulations to limit the power and frequency of the Orgasmatron's function, but they all failed. Everyone who had experienced an Orgasmatron resisted all attempts to limit their use.

Production was licensed to many more companies, so by 2029, new models were cheaper (about one week's wages) and could be used by millions. They were built into slim collars worn around the neck. To ensure continued sales through planned obsolescence, software code limited the function of each device to 3 years. New features were added to each new model. For example, orgasms could be focused in one part of the body, or images of famous celebrities could be projected in the mind to enhance arousal. That feature was called "InnerPorn". Automatic timers were added to enforce a minimum time between orgasms between one hour and one month. But a later hack of that system allowed a user to select "continuous".

Addiction problems skyrocketed and productivity of most organizations plummeted. Birth rates fell because no one was having sexual intercourse. People began dying from giving themselves constant orgasms, resulting in heart attacks, dehydration, starvation, etc.

Due to limited supply or high prices, many people in the world did not have access to the Orgasmatron. Enterprising businesses began to offer orgasm services by buying a few devices and then charging poor people to use them for short periods to achieve orgasm. That gave those people a taste of the experience and led to political demands for everyone to have the "right" to an orgasmatron -- not just rich people. Many labor unions demanded Orgasmatrons for their workers instead of higher wages.

Because of the frustration of those who didn't own an Orgasmatron, by 2030, most advanced countries were riven by political violence. Governments struggled when mobs attack Orgasmatron factories and distribution facilities. Police didn't respond because officers had been given the device as part of their latest labor contract and were no longer willing to work.

To quell the disturbances, many governments bought millions of devices and gave them to mobs to quiet them -- permanently. Dissent ended when everyone was content sitting at home orgasming. Seeing the result of that action, some large countries dropped thousands of devices into the headquarters and barracks of the armies of competing countries -- rendering their military forces impotent -- for fighting wars anyway.

After billions of devices had been distributed all over the world, one technical accident sealed the fate of the entire planet's population. A coding error in the base software used by all Orgasmatrons caused all units to cease functioning on Dec 31, 2032. Billions of people, addicted to having dozens of orgasms every day, went through total withdrawal on the same day. The world was torn by riots of frustrated mobs. Crime rates leaped within days - especially sexual assaults and murders. Some con artists claimed to have functioning Orgasmatrons and charged exorbitant prices for them, only to be dismembered when angry buyers learned the truth.

Historical records are very limited after that. A few individuals had survived the violence and created small villages of non-addicted people. One benefit of the end of their civilization was that the production of greenhouse gases creating global climate change was reduced to near zero. But the vast experience and knowledge of humanity was mostly lost and a new dark age had begun. Fortunately, the non-addicted survivors still practiced normal sexual relations so the human species was able to continue.

End of Report

*************************************

So, ladies and gentlemen, that report presents a sobering description of the effect that the Orgasmatron had on The Old Ones. Surely, we are all smart enough to realize the danger that that device posed -- both to The Old Ones and to ourselves.

I bring your attention to one line in that report: "Complete diagrams and description of the device were included and are now being studied at the University of Africa with hopes to recreate the machine." I have called this conference because the university researchers have announced the completion of their work and the construction of a working Orgasmatron. This is a moment of extreme danger, comparable to the development of atomic weapons.

I propose that now, before this device is again loosed on humanity, we prohibit the manufacture of the Orgasmatron as originally built. It can only lead to the same fate as The Old Ones.

Instead, I propose that the researchers be directed to return to their work and design a modification to the device that will actually improve our society. That modification would require that two Orgasmatrons must be used in close proximity together to achieve orgasm. The two devices must be worn by TWO people simultaneously in order to function. The controlling circuitry of the devices can be fixed to allow it to only work with one other specific Orgasmatron.

Therefore, married couples can purchase a pair of matched devices. This modification will ensure that only those in permanent, stable relationships can enjoy the benefits of enhanced orgasms. They must also cooperate with each other in scheduling and energy level to experience joint orgasms. But they must be married. If they get divorced, their Orgasmatrons will be unlinked and become useless until each person marries again. These incentives should reduce the divorce rate and ensure happier, or at least more durable, marriages.

Single people then, cannot become addicted to solo orgasms and temporary "one night stands" where they cannot take advantage of the artificial climaxes. Thus, young people are more motivated to marry and stay in permanent relationships. Since single people can still get some reduced satisfaction from physical intercourse, they might still be tempted to engage in short term sexual adventures. But I feel that this can be minimized by requiring that all single people experience an enhanced orgasm from an Orgasmatron once each calendar year. That will remind them of what they are missing by not being married.

Therefore, we have a great opportunity to take advantage of this historic device and convert it from an evil to a worthwhile purpose. We can use the strong human sex drive to improve the stable functioning of our society. Our ongoing efforts to manage the behavior of our citizens can be greatly enhanced to ensure a more stable civilization.

All those in favor say Aye!

************************************

May 2, 474

They should have known. I remember reading those reports and considering Mr. Palo's attempt to direct human nature by using the sex drive and thinking "That won't work for me." But then, bureaucrats aren't known for being realistic. Since I'm all alone here, I'm going to take some time to write down the history of the past 6 years in case some future archeologist eventually digs into this cave. There's no one left here to punish me for my sin. Therefore, I can now state my true identity. My name is Walter Vance.

I started my career as a software developer at the beginning of the Orgasmatron project in the year 465. At first I was just given simple testing and debugging assignments, but when they realized how fast I was, they promoted me pretty quickly. Of course, my advancement was also aided by the number of staff working on Orgasmatron that would quit suddenly and disappear.

Eventually the bosses figured out that someone on the hardware side was building unauthorized, hacked Orgasmatrons in his basement. His model bypassed the pairing requirements, so a person could use it by themselves. He sold them to buddies who either resold them for huge profit or just took them in their bedrooms and never came out. I never learned his name, but I did see his rotting carcass hung over the main entrance to our building as an example. Nobody ever tried that again.

When we released version 1.0 there was plenty of interest in the device. It was sold as a "Marital Enhancement Device (MED)". The term "Orgasmatron" was officially hidden, but lingered on in slang. Couples would try it once and announce that they definitely would never get divorced because the orgasms were just too good to give up -- regardless of how awful their partner treated them.

Those of us on the inside knew that the controlling software was buggy and could be penetrated by a skilled hacker. My own contribution was the pairing function that ensured that a unit could only operate if the partner unit was within three feet. To prevent people from loaning pairs of devices to their unmarried friends, a fingerprint reader was included. People registered their fingerprints when the units were assigned to them and the unit only operated when their finger was applied.

I should mention that I was, and am, a non-conformist. I have always resented authority and only went along with the system when it benefited me. Of course, in our society I had to hide my inclinations since the courts are really tough on "trouble-makers". My values made me rebel at the attitude of the governors who thought they should dictate how people should act, dress, think and fuck. I had come of age before the MED units were released and had never been married, so I had officially never used a MED. Of course, the test labs always needed volunteers to test new features -- and I was an enthusiastic volunteer.

But, through several relationships I had enjoyed an active and varied sex life. I guess I'm a little bi, but I do prefer women most of the time. So I knew exactly what a good orgasm felt like and from the testing I learned how much greater it could be. After some extended test sessions, I was almost ready to go marry anyone just to get an Orgasmatron (MED). Fortunately, I was moved off the volunteer list and was able to somewhat forget the pull of that machine.

My frustration with not being able to use a MED regularly and my resentment of those who had dictated that rule grew for a few years. It boiled over when it was revealed that members of the Morals Council had been issued stand-alone MEDs for "evaluation". So common folk are horribly restricted while the big guys jack-off every day. Since I was on the inside I knew how MEDs worked and where the controls were in the software. I'm a creative fellow so I came up with the perfect solution to the injustice -- or so I thought.

What if I added a backdoor in the code that could fool the device into thinking it was close to its matched partner and that the proper fingerprint had been applied? Of course it wouldn't do me any good since I wasn't married and, therefore, couldn't buy one. But, assuming I would marry someday, I could put it in now and it would be included in all future versions of the product. It was my personal hack of the Orgasmatron.

My modification was included in version 1.4 and later. Over the years, millions of MEDs were sold around the world that had my backdoor hidden in the code. I had used the option selector buttons on the device as the method to trigger my code. The standard options for orgasm intensity were: Off, Low, Medium, High and Mind-Blowing. Most people always used Mind-Blowing. People with cardiac problems used High.