All Comments on 'Beware the Roasburies! Pt. 03'

Although the theme of the dragon mother has been done, this is an excellent spin. You have a great storytelling talent. I would ask that you tell us before hand how many chapters are going to be in your stories. I am not a big fan of waiting for chapters.

thanks!

hikeapack the author specified in his intro on chapter 1 that its 7 chapters and they are all finished and he that will post daily. Interesting story

Full of twists and turns.

So far so good,but I think I can see the ending here. He will be back wih Penny and SOMEHOW they will work out things with her mother. She will be the best grandmom on world.

I would really like to see him end with Zena or any other woman just not Penny.

the only one to see that the author has screwed up the 3rd chapter. Time line: Friday 8th Penny lies about being at brother Derek's place, Monday 11th Graham see's Penny and Martin's sleepover, Tuesday 12th Graham photos Penny and Martin making out, Thursday 14th Penny rings and Zena answers early in the morning. So everything in ch 3 that implies that Penny took up with Martin after Zena answered the phone therefore she knew Graham was cheating, is wrong. Before the 14th the only thing Penny had was hearsay from Pattie and we are supposed to believe she was so aggrieved that she took up with Martin but Penny called Graham Wednesday 13th night to arrange a Friday phone call for a 'we need to talk" but she had already cheated multiple times it seems. How many times did Penny put Graham off because she was spending time with Martin? Penny shouldn't be confused or sorry for acting impulsively she simply cheated because she wanted to, the rest is the author screwing with your head. TK

gave it #5 because it is written well and draws the reader into the story. Well done. TK

Yes, oh dear.. . . . Only 4 **** because I note that the dreaded 'typos' are sneakily creepiing back in! But I love the ongoing narrative story format.

Who unfortunately inhabit the bodies of 30 something year olds. Add to this mix the author's typical British non-confrontational approach to problems (stiff upper lip and all that) and we have a long drawn out farce that would have been far more enjoyable to read if the protagonistswere more adult in their actions. Hey, at least you could have made their emotional states at late teenager levels. (US 7th Graders have an average age of being 12 years old)

So far I can surmise that Penny had engaged in coitus with another male prior to the one single time Graham accidentally slipped into her. Since Penny drove that event I suspect she was covering a possible accidental pregnancy by the goy who actually had her virginity. This was before the watch purchase if memory serves. The engagement watch also allows her to continue screwing around on Graham with very few the wiser.

I know this is to be a RAAC story. But it would have been far more convincing if the characters emotional levels were more adult like. At this point Graham would be stupid to take Penny back. He should wait until Penny is at least around 18 years old in maturity.

Good beat. He is always waiting for the lady to take the iniative and life is still smooth.