Beyond the Borderline

As I arrived at the doorway, I reached up to the light switch on the wall. The snap of the toggle seemed as loud as a gunshot, one that pierced my heart with a wound I felt sure would never heal. I left Mom standing alone in the dark, quietly weeping, as I silently closed the door behind me and began walking towards the street.

I got about halfway to the sidewalk and my legs betrayed me. My next step faltered, the one after that completely failed to materialize and then I found myself rooted in place, staring blankly at the gray, featureless, overcast sky above my head, beached in the middle of the driveway.

Having come this far, so close to cutting things off, my rational self railed and cursed at my emotions, which kept me in place like a perverse anchor. Try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to take that next step towards the street. I heard a small voice in the back of my mind, which sounded curiously like Mom's. It was saying, "The heart wants what it wants, Ricky. You may as well try to hold back the tide or stop an earthquake, because these things don't change."

In agony, I asked back to myself, "But if you simply cannot have your heart's desire, if it is impossible, then what?"

My legs weakened and I gradually collapsed down onto my haunches, ending up sitting Indian style on the ground, staring blankly in front of me. I was an empty shell, all of my conflicting desires, objective thoughts, longings and dreams cancelling each other into a paralytic gray numbness. I had no will, no plan, no objective, no hope, no future and I didn't care anymore.

I have no idea how long I sat hunched on the cool, dew-dampened cement, but after a long while, I could sense the first light of morning in the eastern sky. I found I could barely move, both of my legs having fallen asleep where I had run aground.

Then it was my turn to be pulled to my feet. Mom stood behind me, hooked her arms underneath mine and heaved me up. She put her arm around my waist and led me back into the kitchen on unsteady, numbed legs. Not a word was spoken between us.

I found myself propelled into the breakfast nook and sat heavily in one of the chairs. Tingling painfully, my legs still refused to work properly and I had to move them with my hands into some semblance of a comfortable position. Mom went to the refrigerator and poured two glasses of orange juice. She set one in front of me and sat down on the opposite side of the table, quietly regarding me over the rim of her own glass, taking slow, measured sips of her drink. The silence between us was a living, palpable entity; coiled like a serpent, ready to strike in some unexpected direction at any moment. We sat for some minutes, staring at each other as the suspense between us built, a simmering steam boiler with no relief valve.

We would occasionally make brief eye contact, each of us looking for a response from the other, then quickly glancing away, unable or unwilling to start a conversation.

When Mom finally spoke, the tension shattered like a plate glass window and I visibly jumped in my seat.

"I simply can't let you go like this Ricky. I know how much you're hurting inside, because I feel the same thing," she began, tentatively.

"If you feel the way I do, then why do you fight it so hard, Mom?" I asked resignedly. "I can see how it's tearing you up inside. We really, truly love each other. How can that be bad?" I shot back, pain in every word.

"I'm your mother, for God's sake!" she cried out in frustration. "I'm not supposed to, not allowed, CAN'T have these feelings about my own son, goddammit!"

"Yet, you do. I know it, you know it and there's no sense in pretending otherwise, because that's all bullshit," I countered.

"You're still my own flesh and blood!" she said, voice cracking in despair.

"So what?" I shot back. "All I know is that you're the most beautiful, intelligent and loving woman I've ever known. There's no one in the entire world who could possibly mean as much to me as you do."

"Get this through your head, lady," I continued in exasperation, "I can't change how I feel. It doesn't matter if I turn around and leave, never seeing you again.

"I - will - always - love - you," I said, spitting out each word like a heavy stone. " I can't help myself. And I don't care what anyone thinks. Nobody, nobody in the world has any right to tell two adults who love each other how to live their lives."

"All I can say is, I love you and want to be with you in all possible ways. I want to be your friend, your son, your man, your everything, Mom. Without those things, my life has no meaning. It's my fate, what I was created to do," I said with absolute certainty.

As a closing argument, I added, "You can't fool me, Mom. I know you feel the same things. And don't try and tell me that the idea of making love with your son doesn't get you all wet."

"Ricky! My God, how can you talk like that?" she spluttered shakily, a mortified flush rising rapidly on her cheeks.

"Because it's the truth, Mom! We've been dancing around the edges of this for so long, it's time to be totally honest. You can't possibly expect that we can go back to where things were, or just leave them as they are right now. You can't carve up our relationship up, break it down, control it or parse it like some legal document."

I got up and sat next to her, taking her hand in mine. I kissed her sweetly on her cheek and cupped her chin, turning her head to look her in the eyes.

"You know I worship the ground you walk on, Mom," I said softly, gently. "You also know I'd cut my throat before I'd truly do anything to hurt you."

Pausing, I gulped a huge breath of air, heart pounding painfully. "I need to know, Mom. Now. Not 'in a little while,' not next week or tomorrow, or in an hour. Will you be my lover, mother?"

She brought her hand to my cheek and gently ran her finger over the bruise from last week and sighed heavily.

"Ricky, what happened with Marcia, nearly being discovered, it terrified me. I thought I knew what I needed to do when I got off the plane last night. It was my last chance to try and tame this...this thing between us that was threatening to drive me insane with desire and guilt. I wanted you so very much, but I was so afraid, even as things were changing between us. The feelings were so intense, I felt that if I fully gave in, simply let things happen, it would all spin wildly out of control and it would just burn us up, completely consume and destroy us. It was so strong, so powerful, and so scary that I couldn't handle the emotions. I was afraid that if I gave in, surrendered to my desires, that I would lose myself forever, drowning in love and lust," she exhaled mournfully, her voice trailing to a whisper.

"Nothing would then matter except my need to fuck you," she confessed, voice hoarse with shame. "I thought that once I let you have me, I would lose control of everything in my life, and you already know how much I need to be in control of things," she confessed with a sad sigh. "That's why I tried to make it all go so slowly, why I only let you do...those things... with me on my terms. It was selfish and unfair of me to string you along like that."

"And then, after Marcia came by...you can't imagine what that felt like. I was completely torn in two. I thought I should go mad with the conflict I was feeling. I thought we still had to do what was right and proper, but I think...I think... I think deep down, my heart was beginning to sing. I was not honest with myself up to that point. I just didn't want to acknowledge my deepest, darkest longings -- that I desired you, Ricky. I needed you, of all the men in the world, I wanted you. I was in love with my own boy and wanted to make love to him, never stopping, never wanting anyone or anything else."

As I heard these words, my heart soared and my throat tightened. I felt as though I had died and was only just now resurrected. At that moment, my love for Mom burned as strongly and deeply as anything I had experienced in my entire life. My emotions were so overwhelming I could hardly speak.

"I'll always love you, Mom. There's never been anyone else for me. I couldn't possibly live without you," I whispered.

I watched what seemed to be a tremendous flight of emotions across my mother's face - relief, pleasure, happiness and finally a kind of exaltation. She had never looked so desirable to me. I began to feel that familiar stirring and tightening in my loins and my breath caught in my throat.

"I owe you an apology, my love. I should have had the courage of my convictions," she said, her voice strengthening and a small smile appearing.

"I should have listened to my heart and recognized the truth in yours, how much, how deeply my son loves me," she declared, her eyes glistening.

She leaned over to me and took my face in her hands, giving me a long, tender kiss. Moaning inarticulately, I leaned into her, arms coming around her shoulders as I tried to devour her mouth with mine. Groaning, she pressed herself into me, tongue insistently seeking mine as we desperately pressed against each other, as if to try and merge our bodies and souls together through our kiss.

We continued kissing for many minutes, reclaiming each other, touching, reassuring, wiping away mutual tears. Comfort and simple, overwhelming closeness slowly changed into pleasure as our tongues danced, clashed and twined. Pleasure gradually melted into passion and suddenly, I found my hands on Mom's breasts, lightly rubbing her nipples through the fabric of her nightgown. She arched her back then, thrusting then to meet my tweaking fingertips.

Mom dropped her hand to my thigh, lightly rubbing and questing, slowly trailing her fingers over my surging cock, lightly tugging and grasping. I groaned again as she squeezed me gently.

Breaking our kiss, she sat back and regarded me tenderly, her eyes dancing.

"It looks like you're ready to properly welcome your mother home now."

Mom leaned back towards me, her lips slightly parted, smiling gently. In a husky voice, she said, "My boy gives me such sweet kisses. May I have another, please?"

She brought her hand behind my neck and tenderly drew me to her. The touch was gentle, sensuous and unbearable. Her lips seemed to lightly dance on mine, her tongue lightly probing, retreating and teasing as it sought mine. It was so exquisite that I couldn't stand it. It was all I could do to respond in kind, being as gentle as I could be.

Again, I felt her hand on my thigh, tantalizingly close to my throbbing member, lightly scratching the inside of my thigh with her nails. I felt her hand scrabble over my fly, questing for the zipper and button at the front of my pants. Releasing me from denim captivity, her hand snaked under the waistband of my boxers, seeking my growing steel. I was as hard as I'd ever been in my life.

As she truly touched me for the first time, skin on skin, her fingers delicately explored my length, pulling me towards her. Abruptly, her lips then crushed down on mine, her tongue thrusting to meet mine as she quickly and fully grasped my cock. Her touch was like an electric shock. I immediately began squirting all over her loving fingers, feeling huge contractions and uncontrollable twitching. I must have shot at least a half dozen huge ropes of hot, sticky cum into her warm, waiting palm, painting her fingers with a thick film of my sticky, white goo. The results of my 5 days of abstinence produced perhaps the biggest cum of my life, completely soaking my drawers and covering her hand.

"Ah! Ahhh! Mom, oh God!!" I moaned.

Pulling her hand out from my underwear, Mom regarded her slickened fingers with a smile. "I think my son is glad to see me," she said with a wry chuckle.

"God, Mom, I'm so sorry!" I groaned, embarrassed at my loss of control.

"Don't be silly, darling," she scolded affectionately. "You never need to apologize for something like that -- it's a huge compliment, you silly boy. Besides, I'm sure you'll be raring to go again very soon."

"Thanks," I whispered, as she kissed my lightly, but thoroughly.

She then did something so mind-blowing, I began to harden again immediately. She firmly jerked my jeans down over my hips and lowered her face to my crotch and began sucking my spend through the thin materials of my boxers, taking exquisite care to directly avoid putting her mouth on my cock. She slowly and thoroughly sucked all the cum out of my pants, noisily slurping my sperm and making small, mewling sounds of satisfaction deep in her throat.

When she finished, she looked up from my lap, smiling contentedly. "Wow. That was amazing, sweetheart. I've never seen so much sperm in my life."

"Only for you, Mom, only for you," I gasped, still panting from my release.

"You're my sweet talking boy, aren't you?"

I sighed with pleasure, reaching down to touch her cheek. "Mom, I just love you so much. You turn me on so much, sometimes I think you can make me come just by looking at me sideways."

"Mmmm. All that lovely man juice, just for moi?" she teased

"Should I say you bring out the best in me?"

Mom gave a quick snort of laughter, pulling the waistband of my shorts down below my balls, exposing my gooey, semi-hard state. Wiping the last remains of semen from my cock with her hand, she examined her fingers briefly, with almost clinical detachment and then smiled widely, licking them clean with lip-smacking relish. She then bent down and gave my glans a quick, popping suck and then kissed my tip, pulling my underwear back into place.

"Let's go upstairs and get comfortable, Ricky," she said decisively. "It's time to be what we were meant to be to each other."

She got up from the table, stretching slowly and sinuously. Shrugging her robe off, she revealed a floor length, semi-opaque, pale yellow nightdress. It had a shallow, broadly scooped V-neck which slightly exposed the tops of her breasts, short puffy sleeves and a small ribbon which tied the front of the gown together. I could see the slight outline of her hard nipples under the fabric as her unrestrained breasts wobbled slightly with her movement. The remainder of the gown was just diaphanous enough to hint at the forest of curly, ginger hair at the juncture of her thighs.

Taking my hand, she drew me out of my chair, giggling as I nearly toppled, my jeans still caught around my knees. She helped me step out of them, steadying my shoulders as I pulled each leg free.

Once I was liberated, she quickly reached to the waistband of my underwear and pulled them down to the floor. Smiling gently, she grasped my resurgent cock in her hand and led me forward and upstairs to my destiny.

***

Clambering on to her bed, she gave me an absolutely smoldering look. Reaching her arms out, she said tenderly "Come up here next to me, you bad boy."

I hesitantly crawled up next to her. I could hardly believe my good fortune. She gently took my hand, placing it on her left breast as she pulled my head to its companion. I slowly ran my fingers around the outside of the outline of her nipple, gently flicking it with my fingertip as I explored the springy contours around it. I began to lightly lick her other nipple through the material of the gown. She arched her back to meet my mouth when I locked my lips on her nipple. Moaning, she said "Oh, so nice, Ricky. Please do the other one! That's my baby. Just like when you were little. You loved chewing on me so much."

As I switched my attention to her other breast, I let my right hand stray over her abdomen, lightly touching and caressing wherever I traveled. Tentatively, I gradually moved below her waist, with an even lighter touch. As I moved lower, I could feel the subtle change in texture as I moved over her mons, caused by her luxuriant, slightly wiry pubic hair. Her moaning increased.

"Yessssss, ooohhhh, pleeeaaassssse...."

Gingerly skirting where I thought her clit was, I moved to the sides of her sex, lightly touching and stroking her nether lips. The material over her pussy was absolutely soaked and her intoxicating musk permeated the whole room.

"More there, yes, love, more" she breathed.

I continued to lightly flick her nipple through the material of the gown, now wet and nearly transparent with my saliva. I gradually let the fingers of my right hand find their way to the opening of her vagina, always lightly dancing and probing. She arched her pelvis up to meet my hand. I gradually pushed on the gown, slowly indenting the material over her delta of Venus until I was able to push into her opening an inch or two, gradually increasing the strength of my penetrations and their frequency.

By now, Mom was vigorously thrusting to meet my hand, my palm making a wet, slapping sound as it came in contact with her pussy and the maximal depth of my caresses. She was moaning almost continuously now, barely coherent. Slowly, with great care, I drew up the front of her gown above her waist, gradually sliding my hand from her knee to the junction of her magnificent thighs, caressing slowly as I went.

I cupped her mound, gently pressing and rubbing, slowly drawing my middle finger up her slit, from perineum to her little nub. She shuddered and thrust herself up against my hand. I slowly inserted a finger into her opening, gradually pushing it in as far as I could, then adding a second finger. So tight, so wet, so unbelievably hot, she was.

"Ooohhhh my god Ricky, it feels soooo goood. Do me some more."

Those words absolutely set me off. I redoubled the stimulation of her breast and greatly increased the thrusting of my fingers, pushing as hard as I could. Mom was panting like a long distance runner near the finish line now, barely able to speak. She was moving her pelvis as quickly as she could against my hand, trying to gain maximal stimulation from my digits. She was close now, and I wanted to make sure that she had the best orgasm of her life on my fingers. I removed my other hand from her breast and began to rub over her mound. Her lips were red and swollen, saturated with beads of her dew. Her clit stood at proud attention, peeking from beneath its hood. I took it in my fingers and began to gently squeeze and rub it.

Mom suddenly arched her back, thighs clamping viciously around my hand, her pelvis thrusting upward. A keening moan tore from her throat.

"Oh god! Oh god! My god, Ricky, mygod mygod omigod omigod omigod I'm cumming, I'm cumming, baby, cumming! She continued for nearly a whole minute. I could barely keep my hands on her sex, she was writhing so much. Finally, she collapsed utterly and completely, breathing rapidly with her eyes tightly closed, eyelids fluttering.

God, that felt so good! I gave my mother an amazing climax, just with my hands. I felt 10 feet tall and invincible. There could be no better feeling on the earth than pleasing my Mom that way! I moved up next to her on the bed, cradling her head and neck on my chest. I was filled with tenderness as I stroked her hair and cheeks. "I love you so much, Mom. I love to make you feel good."

She gradually returned to the present, snuggling against me, hands tracing lightly on my chest, teasing my nipples. The sensation was driving me to delirium.

"My god, Ricky. What did you do to me? I can't remember the last time I came like that. I'm shaking like a leaf!"

"Just being the dutiful son," I joked lightly.

"I'm appalled at how hard I made you work while I was gone," she chastised herself. "I'm surprised that you have the strength to lift one finger, let alone do what you just did to me."

I lowered my voice and spoke very softly and seriously. "Mom, everything I did while you were gone, from the pool, to the fence, to the driveway and now to this bed I did because I love you. The reason it's so good with us is because it's real love. We only care about pleasing each other. You're my angel and I'll never put myself ahead of you again."