Big Bang Theory Season 09 Ep. 15-17

The following day, the group of nerds was gathered in the university cafeteria and Sheldon brought up the discussion about Valentine's Day. He was streaming live an episode of "Fun with Flags. No one was impressed.

Leonard had dinner reservations with Penny. Howard and Bernie were going to break in their new hot tub, while Raj was having a date with Emily, which he wasn't too excited about. He still had Claire on his mind and thinking of spending an evening with Emily again just freaked him out.

Leonard caught his indifference, "Doesn't sound like you're very excited about it."

He shrugged, "I am, I am, I guess I'm still wondering if Emily and I are right for each other."

Howard looked to him, "Does this have to do with that girl you had coffee with?"

"You mean the strong, sexy angel I can't stop thinking about? Who can say?"

Howard rolled his eyes, "You've been talking about breaking up with Emily forever, why don't you just do it already?"

Leonard agreed, "Just get it over with."

Raj sat back and in a high voice replied, "Well, you say it like it's easy. Have any one of you ever broken up with anyone?"

The three of them all had blank stares on their faces and Howard replied, "NO" Leonard added, "Not really."

Sheldon thought about it, "You know, once I ordered an Uber by accident. I just got in and went somewhere."

Raj decided to ask Penny for guidance and as she poured them both a glass of wine she took a sip, "So, you're really gonna break up with her?"

"Yeah, I think so. Do you have any advice?"

"Well, I have broken up with my fair share of guys. I mean, how many times did I break up with Leonard? My advice to you is to do it at her place so you can leave when you need to. Tell her the truth, make it quick, and be prepared for tears."

He went over to Emily's apartment before he lost his nerve and told her he was ending it.

She took it badly, "You're seriously breaking up with me?"

He sat there, "Yeah."

She stood over him, bitter then hell, "You thought right before Valentine's Day was a good time to do it?"

He thought it over, "You're right, let's talk again in a few days."

She threw him out and he immediately rushed home and called Claire. He sat in his living room, "Hey, Claire, hi, it's Rajesh. I was wondering if you're free for Valentine's Day?"

"Sorry, I just got back with my boyfriend."

"But I just broke up with my girlfriend."

"Right before Valentine's Day?" She scoffed, "What an ass!"

He hurried back to Emily's apartment and knocked on the door. She opened it and found a crying Rajesh there, "Please take me back! Our love was meant to be--"She cut him off by slamming the door in his face.

Sheldon and Amy had their live streaming of "Fun with Flags" and during it Raj called crying and was followed up by Barry calling too. They were both alone on Valentine's Day.

Over at Howard's house, both Howard and Bernadette were in their robes, naked under them and waiting to strip them off and climb into the hot tub for some heated lovemaking on Valentine's Day.

He went over to the tub, "I'm gonna check the temp on the tub."

She giggled, "Don't make to too hot."

He scoffed, "Sorry, but too hot is the only temperature I come in." He untied his robe and flashed her his naked body."

She giggled, "Look at that, you shaved it all." She had her hair pulled back in a low ponytail. She expected a lot of splaying to occur in the tub tonight. She came up behind him and drew off his robe and slipping hers off too, she pressed her naked body against his. She pulled away and tried to climb in, but was stopped when Howard grabbed her by the hips and pulled her tight ass to his mouth. She melted there and pressed back against his active tongue.

Howard released her and allowed her to enter the tub. He followed and they were soon all over each other. He had her face away from him and grabbing her by the hips, he guided her to his lap.

Bernadette found his stiff cock and lowering her body, she felt his thick, stiff cock easily enter her pussy. She began riding him, sending waves of hot water over the sides and over the two of them and before long, she felt him filling her with his spunk. She collapsed against him. She turned to tell him some exciting news, when they were suddenly joined by a furry critter.

They both jumped from the tub and gathering their robes, slipped them on. Howard went and got the strainer from the kitchen and they managed to get the furry rabbit out. While they inspected it, it nipped at Howard and drew blood. He panicked and ran into the house to dress. He was going to go to the emergency room to have it check out.

Bernadette was disappointed and gently petted the scared rabbit, "I guess I'll have to wait to tell Howard that I'm pregnant. I just hope it comes out pasty white like Howard and not mocha brown like Rajesh."

At the restaurant Leonard and Penny were waiting for their table and Penny was upset that even with reservations, their wait-time was nearly an hour. She went over to the host and tried to flirt and get an earlier seating but she was pissed when she was called "Ma'am" by the host. She grabbed Leonard and left too upset to eat there.

They ended up with fast food and were eating in their car. He tried to soften the blow, "It's not what we had planned, but this isn't so bad, right?"

Her mouth was stuffed with a burger, "It is freakin' amazing."

He took a sip of his soda, "Well, I'm glad you're feeling better."

"I was just hungry and cranky. And I've never been called ma'am before."

He shrugged, "Is that a big deal?"

She nodded, "Kind of, when was the first time someone's called you sir?"

"Sixth grade; I was wearing a sport coat and ci was carrying a brief case so..."

She rolled her eyes, "Can you believe when I met you I was 22? I mean, it's crazy. Where did all that time go?"

"Hmm, you watched "The Bachelor" a lot."

"Yeah, go ahead and make jokes, but your 30's are almost over"

He chuckled, "No their not!"

"You're closer to 40 than you are to 30."

He laughed out loud, "You married an old man. Tell you what, let's do something fun tonight."

She was down, "It won't make us any younger."

"Well, maybe not, but someday we actually will be old and we'll look back on this night and remember what a good time we had."

She was in, "Oaky, like what?

He shrugged, "I don't know, let me think. We could go dancing."

She looked at him, "Are you actually gonna dance?"

"Well, of course."

She scoffed, "Yeah, no one wants to see that. How about skinny-dipping at the beach?"

He shook his head, "No, I don't need any fish nibbling at my business."

She scanned her phone, "Oh, there's a screening of "Moulin Rouge." I heard the crowd sings along and stuff."

"That sounds like fun, when's it start?"

"Midnight."

He shrugged, "Midnight, really? You know what? Let's do it."

She grinned at him, "Okay, great!" She looked back to her phone to get tickets, "Oh, wait, uh, it's sold out."

He looked to the sky, "Oh, thank God!"

She threw up her hands, "YES!"

Amy and Sheldon were finishing up their live streaming of "Fun with Flags." Sheldon was distraught because Raj was still complaining about his love life when suddenly Leonard and Penny came bursting in through the doorway. Penny was dressed in a skimpy top and shorts dotted with red hearts. Leonard had a matching vest and boxers on and they ran through the living room blowing horns and throwing red confetti hearts. They circled Amy and Sheldon and continued to throw their confetti, ending up out of breath in the bedroom.

Penny instantly dropped to her knees and tugged off Leonard's boxers.

He tore off his vest and made short work of her skimpy top. He ran his hands through her short blonde hair and watched as she gobbled up his stiffening cock.

Leonard wanted to take control and tugged at her arms until she came off her knees. His hand dipped down into the matching shorts of her Valentine's Day outfit and listened to her soft moans. He nibbled at her ear, "Are already wet for me Penny?"

She nodded vigorously and gasped out, "Oh Yes Leonard!"

He chuckled; knowing he had her exactly where he wanted her, "Good, I like the thought of me turning you on." He felt her shiver and saw her biting on her lower lip. He turned and made her sit on the edge of the bed and he lightly pushed her legs apart.

She clutched at his head and threw her head back, "Please Leonard, don't make me wait, show me how great you can eat my pussy."

He swept his hands up and down her quivering legs and his knuckles brushed against the gusset of her shorts, He chuckled again, "You like that, don't you?"

She let out another tiny gasp, "Please, keep going, stop teasing me."

He smiled wickedly at her and turned his mouth to the spot between her legs. He tugged at her shorts and licked his lips as he saw her fat, thick lips coated in her creamy juices. He tossed her shorts aside and inhaled her humid scent. Her moans grew louder when his mouth closed on those fat, thick lips. His hands were on each of her thighs keeping her still and pressed harder against the mattress.

Penny raked her fingers through his hair as she watched his tongue dart out and began teasing her aching clit

Leonard teased her more as his tongue circled her clit slowly before closing his lips upon that stiff bud. He pushed harder on her thighs as she tried to wiggle her hips harder. He lapped at her clit and chuckled, "Needy are we?"

She fell back flat on the bed and cupped her tits and began pulling at her nipples, "Please, stop teasing me and suck it! Yes, yes, just like that, don't stop!"

He grinned up at her and slid two fingers into her. His smile grew larger when he heard her let out a stifled groan when he moved his fingers in time to his rapidly increased licks. He held her still as her thighs trembled and he knew she was close to cumming. He stopped licking, but continued his steady flicking of her pussy with his fingers, "That's what I wanted to see, come for me, Penny!"

She threw her hand over her eyes as she came with a loud scream. Her other hand was clutching at his hair and tried to get his mouth back on her pussy.

Leonard slowed his finger-fucking of her sopping pussy and stood up and leaning over her sprawled out body, he kissed her, allowing her to taste the cream that was coating his lips. He kissed her harder, driving his tongue deep into her mouth.

Penny ripped her mouth from his and let out a gasp, "Please Leonard, I need to feel you in me. She let out a moan as she felt his lips peppering her neck and shoulder. She felt his hands on her hips and she arched her back as she felt his cock enter her. She released an even louder shriek as she accepted his entire length in one swift movement. She reveled in the felling of his cock sinking on her. She wanted more friction, more pressure, more of everything she knew he had.

He nibbled at her straining fat nipple and looked up into her dark green eyes, "Oh Lord Penny, I'll never, ever get enough of you, you feel so fucking good!" He began moving quicker, thrusting into her harder and faster. He started slow, just enjoying the wetness and the way she squeezed at his shaft. He picked up the pace and sped up to a punishing, but welcomed pace. He could hear Amy and Sheldon fucking in his room, it was in their relationship agreement to fuck on Valentine's Day, but Penny's moans and groans drowned out Amy's urgent grunts. He knew hearing Penny would spur Sheldon on as he tried to make Amy scream like she was.

Penny clawed at the bedspread as she felt herself growing tighter; she was on the cusp of another orgasm. She shivered as she heard Leonard whisper out, I want you to cum for me Penny, call it a Valentine's Day present!"

She arched her back, "Oh, God, yes!" She moaned into the back of her hand as she released yet another scream.

He chuckled, "Don't hold back, let it out and let Amy and Sheldon know how great we are together!" He fisted her hair in his hands and forced her mouth to his. He kissed her and stifled her screams with his mouth. He tore his mouth from hers and it was his turn to release a loud grunt as Penny's mouth dropped to the crook in his neck and bit down.

She screamed out as she came and came hard. She wrapped her legs around his body and bore down, squeezing her cunt muscles as hard as she could. She was rewarded and soon afterwards, she felt Leonard slam into her hard and began bathing her steamy cunt with his hot creamy cum.

They were both moaning and groaning, blocking out the tiny moans coming from the bedroom next to them. He peppered her face, neck and chest with several wet kisses and he chuckled, "Who said we're old, let a youngster try and match that. That was better any other Valentine's day event we ever had."

She giggled, "Yeah that was something and we outdid Amy and Sheldon, hands down."

He swept a stray lock of hair from her face and smiled down at her, "Don't you go to sleep on me Penny; I want to taste you again."

Penny smiled down at him as she fluffed up his hair. She allowed it and before the night was over, she came a couple more times and fell asleep with most of her muscles sore, but with a pleasant ache.

She woke in the morning to the sun streaming through their bedroom winder. The sheets were a mess and their sexy outfits were strewn everywhere. She felt the ache in places she wished ached more often and made it a point to urge him to do it more often. She threw on a robe and came out to see Leonard on his hands and knees sweeping up the confetti they threw all over the living room. She helped him with the rest of the mess and taking him by the wrist, she tugged him back to the bedroom to have a post Valentine's Day lovefest.

Over at the Wolowitz household, Bernadette was sitting in the kitchen waiting for Howard to come in for his breakfast. It was a very disappointing Valentine's Day, even though she had one orgasm before the rabbit attack. She had to tell Howard about the baby and set the kitchen up for the unveiling.

He walked in while she was eating a bowl of fruit, "Morning." She nodded and replied with the same. He stopped before his coffee cup that had a sticky note on it. He looked at it, "We? What is this?"

She picked at her fruit, "I don't know, maybe it says something on the back."

He turned it over, "Continued on milk." He moved to the fridge and turned to her, "If you're tricking me into making my own breakfast, it didn't work for my mom and it won't work for you. He opened the door and saw another sticky note on the milk. He pulled it off and read, "Are. We are..."He turned it over, "See spoons for more." He let out a dry chuckle.

She mocked him, "What could it be? "We are Groot?" "We are the champions? "We are family I got all my sisters with me?"

He picked up the spoon and it had another note attached to it and it said "Pregnant!" He turned towards her, "Are you serious?"

She smiled at him and nodded, "Yeah!"

He stopped, "Are you sure?"

She stood up and walked over to him with a pregnancy test in hand, "Yeah, pretty positive! That's a joke, because the pregnancy test says that—"

He pulled her into his arms, "Oh, my God!" He kissed her, "This is incredible. We're gonna be parents. We're gonna get to board planes first. Finally gonna get to see what's in that 'family' bathroom at the mall."

She was smiling from ear to ear, "I know, it's crazy."

He stood back "IT IS CRAZY!" He turned, "Oh! I mean, how do you prepare for something like this? I'm not even sure I've ever held a baby before."

"Oh, it's okay, you'll figure it out"

"But how's this gonna work? Do we get a nanny? Can we afford a nanny? If we can, we can't get a pretty one, 'cause it'll wreck our marriage. We can't get an ugly one. 'cause it'll scare the kid."

She shook her head, "I don't know, Howie."

"Are we in a good school district? You're Catholic, I'm Jewish! What religion do we raise it? And if it's a boy, do we get him circumcised? People say it's barbaric, but if we don't it looks like a pig in a blanket."

She moved over to him, "Calm down, it's gonna be okay"

"How's it gonna be okay? Look at me, I'm a mess. And that means this baby's gonna be half a mess and that's even before we screw it up with our cut-rate, moderately attractive nanny."

Later that evening Raj was visiting Leonard and Sheldon when Howard came in, "Hey."

Leonard sat forward, "Ready to play when you are."

Howard stood over them, "Yeah, in a minute. I actually need to tell you guys something."

Leonard looked to him, "What's going on?"

"Uh, um, I'm gonna be a father."

Raj jumped up, "What? Congratulations, that's amazing."

Over at the Wolowitz house Penny and Amy were in the backyard drinking wine and Bernie stood over them, "So, I'm glad you guys are here. There's something I want to share with you."

Penny's cell phone chimes and Penny looked down at it.

Bernie chuckled, "Howie and I are going to--"

Penny let out a gasp, "Leonard says you're pregnant!"

Amy looked to her, "What?"

Penny read on, "Don't say anything, act surprised when she tells you." She looked up at Bernie, "All right, how you wanna do this?"

She grinned back at her, "I'm pregnant."

Amy hugged her, "Oh my god, I'm so happy for you."

Penny added, "This is so exciting."

Bernie nodded, "Yeah, yeah, real exciting."

Penny looked at her with concern, "What, are you not happy about this?"

"I am, of course I am. I'm sure it's just the hormones. But it's weird. Howie's the one who's been talking about having kids for years and I was all excited to tell him because I thought he'd be thrilled, but then he started to flip out and now this feels like a bad idea, and I'm gonna get fat." She started crying.

Penny tried to soften the blow, "No! No, come on, come on, you're not gonna get fat, you're gonna be beautiful and glowing, and have the cutest little baby bump ever."

Bernadette put her head down, "Easy for you to say, skinny bitch!" She threw up her hands, "Sorry, hormones!"

Penny giggled, "Oh, that's all right. All I heard was skinny."

Amy leaned over the table, "I wouldn't make too much out of Howard not reacting the way you expected him to."

Penny added, "Yeah, I'm sure it was just the initial shock of it all."

Bernie felt better, "You're probably right. After we talked about it he started to calm down.

Amy tried cheering her up, "Hey, let's go do something to get your mind off this."

Penny liked that idea, "Yeah, yeah, we should go out."

Bernie looked at her, "Where?"

"Uh, I don't know, a bar?"

She shrugged, "Can't drink!"

Penny mumbled, "We can, but all right."

Amy tried, "Are you hungry? How about that new sushi place you love?"

"Doctor said I can't have sushi."

Penny tried again, "Okay, look, we don't have to go anywhere. We can just, you know, stay here and hang out in the hot tub."

Bernie was getting upset more and more they suggested things, "Doctor said I can't go in the hot tub."

Amy scoffed, "Maybe you should get a new doctor."

Amy saw the dirty stare Bernie gave her, "What, he said you can't laugh either?"

Penny sat forward, "I have a question and I'm sorta afraid to ask it."

Bernie stared at her, "Okay, out with it, I think I know what it is."

"Uh, I know you and Howard have been having several threesomes with Raj. I was wondering if by some chance, the baby is his."

Bernie looked down at her hands, "I was wondering the same thing, I know one thing, if the baby comes out all pasty white, it has to be Howard's, but if it comes out mocha brown, well you know."

Back at Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, they decided to take Howard out and celebrate. At the bar Raj stood, "I'd like to propose a toast to our friend Howard. His big heart, his beautiful soul--"