All Comments on 'Big People'

Very nicely written I hope there will be more aboutt this couple.

This is a wonderfully written story with a wonderful story line. This is as good as any story I have read on Literotica.

nice piece, a little improvement needed on the dialog though

Wonderful story. Tender and erotic at the same time.

bassbelly, you've done a nice job and produced a fine romantic story. Thank You. Ronnie W.

When it comes to "type casting", the best of them prove to be those which make you forget that the story is about big/small/white/black/east/west, but just about two people who love and desire each other. By the time things got heated (and it happened pretty early) I have been reading mostly about two people finding what they were looking for. Period.

big girls are the best, make her bigger to improve the story. men are not scared of a 195 pounder. put her at 285 she is now real.

dialogue needs some work i.e., knock off this "she thought he thought" crap in quotes. quotes are for dialogue only. read about it in the skunk and white--i got an extra if you need one.

typo--"add" to "ad"---delete "anyway" and "here"--wordy serves no purpose. delete quote on "she thought" or develop for the reader what she was thinking. "she was a mental wreck" bullshit, don't tell this to your reader --write it--or delete it --"he thought-- she thought" is bad writing.

you need to develope a writers voice. you are a natural storeteller. tell your story to the reader as if you were overlooking a river in the P.I. eating 17 chickens and drinking San miguel (PI) only. it's your turn to bullshit your ass off. meanwhile your buddy thinks he is getting some virgin pussy 50 feet away. that should make for good reading.--keep up the good work.

great story, could use some expansion and depth