by RobAnthony53
Geez, you mention the length of Rob's cock SIX OR SEVEN TIMES in the course of only two pages, sometimes more than once in a single paragraph! It got old and annoying after the second time or so.
but found the description of sex with Bridget tedious. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why you needed a long description of sex with Denise. Actually I don't know why Denise is even in the story.
Interesting plot with the bikes, a neighbor with benefits, and a new lady with money. I thought the internal and external dialogue was in keeping with the story. The scenes were well set in nature and indoors. The massage and sex scenes were realistic and held my attention. Well written and well done.
It's sight, not site, when you look at someone.
I'm not sure why you mentioned the gal from the adult store. She never appeared again so including her in the story is pointless.
Italicizing the woman's dialog make this look as if you're telling us about your dream. Perhaps you are.
GG? Riiiggghhhttt. Don't overdo yourself. Others are correct about mentioning size, Three times is enough.
I agree with the others. Good story with some flaws. Who's Lynette? GG boobs? Really. The average in C for women. 7 inch cock? Uh huh. On AOL maybe. Why mention Denise at all? That was part 1. Was Bridget wearing a bra when she lifted her shirt? With DDs I hope so. 3 stars.