All Comments on 'Bill and Karen Ch. 02'

Very good story. I like the characters and their closeness. I hope you let them continue to explore each other and for them to see the love that lays in wait. Thanks for your time and imagination. 5 stars for the story line.

You're doing an excellent job with the story. Sure, like most I'd prefer to get more than a page at a time but I can't knock you for my impatience. I would like a little more background on why Bill has no one in his life, apparently for quite some time. There are hints as he reminisces he had "forgotten" his closeness with Karen, so that no woman matched her might not be the issue...or is it?

I'm really liking this story and the pace it is moving just keeps me in suspense.

Sigh.

You'll probably delete this comment, too, just like the one I made on part 1, but oh well.

The writing is OK, mechanically. So far, there isn't a plot. There are other stories, several, with the same kind of intro: a storm, a dash to save the sister/daughter/mother, back to his place, innuendos, rememberings, teasing, touching, glimpses of her body.

We've read 2 'chapters' of introduction, under 5k words, and you insist on not starting the story, going so far as to end the second introduction with a paragraph that should be a conclusion.

What you've given us would be fine as an introduction, had it come out as one submission, and continued with a plot until you reached a good stopping point in the plot before you asked us to wait on an additional chapter.

As far as I'm concerned, you're about half-way through the first chapter here. Maybe less.

You need another chapter sooooooooooon

1/5 because it is unfinished

Nice story. Good pacing for a slow burner. Keen to read more.

Two very short chapters in 12 months? 😢 You should have completed a lot more than this before submitting anything at all. As a writer, you do have a commitment to your audience. It's not written in stone, but it is understood by general consensus. I started writing a story of my own about 8 weeks ago. I've got more than you have completed in these two short chapters. But I'm not publishing it half finished like you did. I'm not leaving my readers hanging.

2/5 for this one.

Just now read the comment by Cageysea9725. It reinforced my same thoughts. I hope that you are listening to our constructive criticism. It's not hate mail.

please continue this story.