All Comments on 'Bill and Karen'

A great start to a story. You are developing the characters and story line. I like that you are putting the story first. This will make the relationship between the brother and sister better. I look forward to reading more and thanks for your time and imagination.

Put it back in. This one’s not done.

Looking out for a younger sibling is relatable to most families. I hope you're going to ontinue their story.

Great start! Good character development. This story could go in many directions. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Liked it so far. At one point when Karen stripped off I thought you were going straight to sex. Glad it didn't the story has developed nicely. Looking forward to next chapter.

very good start, but there has GOT to be more...please don't stop now....!

needs a good finish or at least another chapter

I was scrolling through the new stories and saw Bill and Karen Pt 2 with a score of 4.75. I thought, "High marks indeed." and didn't recall Pt 1 being as enthusiastically received. I scrolled down and found it had been given a 4.15. "Curious." I thought. Normally 4.15 is near the lower limits of the scoring that I venture down to read. I knew I wanted to read Pt 2, and don't much care to start part way in to a series. So, here I am at the end of part 1, and I've got to say other than the obvious lack of any actual incest, or any sex for that matter, this was very well written. I found it compelling, interesting, smart, and believable. It drew me in. I gave you a 5. Which I seldom do. Fortunately, I get to now see how you apply your talents to these other important elements of the story, as the highly rated Pt 2 is awaiting.

Hopefully, I'm not assuming too much in expecting topical content soon.

This is a good set up for a longer story. But you didn't write in a hook at the end to entice the reader into returning. 🤔 Since this was only a single page in length, there wasn't a valid reason to not continue further into the story before cutting it off. I hope that this isn't indicative of what I can expect from future installments. 3/5

Reread it a second time and found fault with this dialog too:

"Sorry to be so crude, Billy. You've seen all of this before, brother."

Real siblings might occasionally use 'bro' or 'sis' as a pronoun for addressing each other. But most likely they will be more intimate and use a favorite nickname. These two are certainly not estranged from each other and wouldn't speak this way. It's far too formal and downright awkward. My earlier 3/5 vote stands.