All Comments on 'Bird With a Broken Wing'

Please let there be a part two, this has the basics for a beautiful story. Thank you.

Overall a good story, well written with interesting characters, but the ending is quite confusing and abrupt. I'm not sure how Matt could go so quickly from friendly attraction and intimate interest in Tricia to feeling he had escaped a 'honey trap'. It's not like the poor girl crashed on purpose as part of a set-up. I felt a bit bad over the way he acted towards her at the end, he had been giving indications he was interested in her, and considering her impaired physical abilities and the quite lonely, isolated personal life we glimpse from her rather sad stories, she must have found that appealing. He changes so abruptly and seems to just blank her at the end - she must have felt quite crushed.

Also, that line "I couldn't help but wonder if sex with a cripple could be good." kind of sprang out as I was reading, and made me think Matt was was a bit of a jerk, when up until then he had been a pretty good guy.

I don't know if this is just a one-off tale, but I would definitely be interested in a chapter two.

I was enjoying getting into the story when you ended the story... I liked the story line and the charecters. I gave it 4 stars but I felt it ended on a sour note with the honeytrap line.... I think it perhaps should have had the storm last a little longer and then took another day or several days? to resolve the problems and interact more together... Or maybe have her come back into his life at a future date... There was a good foundation for another chapter or develop more chapters... Thanks!

Such a scared, abrupt ending....from "shorts and a t-shirt with no bra" ( a step forward from refusing to take the bra off) to "obviously relief that I had escaped a honey trap." You did all the (great) prep work for a consensual "first time" (which this WASN'T BTW!) feast and then threw the whole thing in the 'garburator' in 3 paragraphs!! Why would she ever go back? How could there be a second chapter to this (dead end) mini-vignette?? There were SO many opportunities for small-but-important steps toward intimacy, but you either squashed them or squandered them!! HOW could your advisor let you stop there?????

You started well and seemed to be building up to something but then, as it has already been said, such an abrupt and odd ending. Well less of an ending rather an emergency stop!

I would suggest a rewrite but this time let the story flow on in the direction it first started. Could be a thing of beauty if handled with care and empathy.

Please do try again

Tom D

This has the potential to be a good multi-story. The ending here was too abrupt. Please consider a sequel.

being disabled, you may want to use the current term, I haven't herd 'crippled' in years. Sex works fine.

It feels like the first chapter to an ongoing story, so please continue, would love to read more.

Others want sex ...

Sex with a cripple, especially a virgin, takes an especially different turn. It isn't a typical see em, hump em, forget em pathway that most of the crap on this site is. I am always on the look out for stories with real potential ... even chapter two may want to simply build toward (but neither to, nor complete) with a climax. That could, with appropriate tension, build into something special. The erotic, as this man with a legless wife can attest, may take a number of steps.

I want to join those encouraging you to continue this. This has the makings of a classic on Lit...please keep this alive.