All Comments on 'Birthdays Suck'

I like the premise of him automatically thinking she was just being mean to him, teasing him, and then her surprising him by being intelligent, beautiful and strong. My only suggestion is take your descriptions into the sex scene. You started off well describing the rain, and his mood up until the sex scene. How did it feel to him? What was going through his mind? Nice story just wanted to be more in his head during his first time.

Great story as usual from one of the best writers on here.I am also a DnD nut and also a virgin,But..... Ah enough of that.You rule,my man! and thank you for your service!

Great story as usual from one of the best writers on here.I am also a DnD nut and also a virgin,But..... Ah enough of that.You rule,my man! and thank you for your service!

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You are a good writer, why then didn't you take your time to develop this story? You had a great start and rushed the ending. Keep at it, you are a good storyteller