Bittersweet Irish Cream Ch. 15

Jack laughed as Ethan smiled. "We didn't learn last names or ages until the morning. I had just turned 20 and he was 32. I think I needed a break from Hutch anyway, needed something different. We agreed to keep it casual and it was mostly. But I made the mistake of introducing him to Carlos at a dinner we had for one of our friends. And Carlos did what he does best, made all these dumb ass comments and at one point grabbed my crotch and told Justin it belonged to him."

Jack scoffed. "He's a fucking asshole, Ethan."

"Yea, I know." He sighed. "Anyway, that night we had a serious talk about having a relationship. He never wanted to put pressure on me because I was young but he knew what he wanted, and what he wanted was me. He gave me a choice right then and there: to end it with Hutch, leave Carlos behind, and commit to him, or he'd have to walk away completely to save his heart. And I chose wrong. Or right, I guess." Ethan smiled slyly.

Jack laughed. "Yea? It's never too late to go back."

Ethan laughed back. "I'm just saying, a few years later Hutch and I crashed and burned, Trish happened and my life was going head first off a cliff in a burning car, and all I kept thinking was, Why the fuck didn't I tell Justin yes?"

He let a moment pass. "Anyway, I obviously don't think like that anymore, I love my life with you and our family. So everything happens for a reason and I have no regrets. But he's still my Totga. The 'what if I had chosen differently' of my past."

Jack pulled into the parking space in front of the Inn. Ethan moved his hand to the doorknob and Jack started talking while staring out the front window.

"I broke up with him in high school because I was tired of hiding. I had made this big announcement coming out to my friends and family and then I couldn't even tell anyone who I was with, and it was killing me inside. And we were so toxic to each other, we'd have these explosive breakups and falling back in bed together without addressing anything. And obviously he was cheating on me, so... but I loved him. I really did. I just never knew if he actually loved me.

"After a year and half it just got to be too much so I ended it, permanently. But I didn't realize back then how bad it was for him at home, why he couldn't come out. Why he couldn't love me back. Maybe if I understood...I don't know. When he came home from the Marines I thought maybe we would try again but he was heartbroken over his secret boyfriend dying in his arms during the war."

"Holy shit," Ethan said, shocked.

"Right. So I gave him the space he needed to heal. And in that time we just grew apart, especially since he went back to fucking everything that moved, but this time it was men instead of females. A year later I met you and I fell in love with you. And I have no regrets about falling in love with you.

"So is he my totga?" Jack shrugged. "I don't know. I've never really thought about it like that. The truth is, I try not to think about it at all. The 'what ifs' are too great, because there would have been a lot of hurdles to cross for us to really have been happy together. So I'm glad we maintained our friendship and I'm so happy for him, that he's out and in love with a man that understands him more than I ever did."

He looked over at his husband. "So there you have it. Connor and I were more like a Shakespeare love tragedy than a totga situation. I loved him, he loved me, he lost me, then I lost him. Now we love other people. And we're both more than okay with that."

Ethan reached his hand over and pulled Jack by his neck toward him, pressing his lips onto his husband. Jack hummed and grabbed his neck back. They kissed passionately, massaging their tongues together, running their hands through each other's hair. After a few minutes of kissing, Ethan slowed down first, giving Jack lighter, softer taps on his lips.

"Thank you for telling me," he said softly. "I'm so glad you chose wrong. Or right." He kissed him one more time on the lips, then opened the car door to bring their children inside.

~~~~~

Jack had been distracted for a few weeks and Ethan noticed. A week after their two year anniversary in September, they were laying on their backs that night looking at the ceiling, and Jack reached over and took his hand. Ethan wanted to start the conversation and didn't know how, but then Jack started talking first.

"Ethan I need to tell you something and I don't want you to freak out."

Ethan turned to him. "I'm listening."

Jack stayed on his back and would not look at him. "I asked Jamel to let me know when the next time he is going into Massachusetts for the day to do housing inspections and he's going tomorrow. I'm going to take the ride up with him but I'm not coming back down with him. I will be back in two days."

"Ok," Ethan said, curious about the conversation. "What are you going to Massachusetts for?" he asked, but as soon as he said it, somewhere deep down inside he knew.

Jack sighed. Then he said, "I have a real problem with people who hurt people, especially children. People who intentionally put their selfish desires before the needs of others, especially the smallest and most vulnerable among us. Those who think they can get away with harming other people with no consequences. It gives them free range to do it again and again and more people just get hurt. They need to be stopped. There needs to be consequences. Someone needs to make sure that they pay for what they have done."

Ethan was quiet for a moment before he asked, "And that someone has to be you?"

"When they have hurt someone I love, yes. It has to be me."

"Claire," Ethan said her name out loud. Jack didn't affirm it but he didn't need to.

Ethan stayed quiet, letting Jack continue. "I know what you're going to say, E. You're going to say, I need to let someone else handle it. The police. God. Karma. Anyone else. I don't need to put myself and my life in danger. I have a family. It's not worth it. Find another way, a non-violent way. I need to let this part of me die. I know what you're going to say, Ethan."

Ethan caressed Jack's thumb and said, "And you're going tell me, it's who you are. It's in your blood. That it's been hurting you since Claire told you what happened to her. That you love her like she was your own daughter or little sister, and that you couldn't protect her but you need to avenge the hurt and pain that was done to her."

"And you're going to tell me not to," Jack said, still looking up at the ceiling, afraid to look into Ethan's eyes.

Ethan did not say anything at first. For some reason Ciaran's words came back to him, about how falling in love with your best friend meant accepting the parts of them that aren't the greatest, and yet you love and accept them anyway. About giving them the freedom to be who they are, within reason. Ethan realized that this will always be a part of Jack, and he knew it when he married him.

So even though it scared him tremendously to do so, he gave Jack what he needed to hear: permission.

"Actually, I'm going to tell you two things," Ethan said.

"First. Our daughter at some point is going to have questions about who her parents are. There is tragedy already in her story and with the age of Google and social media, she will easily find out who they are and what happened to them. I wouldn't want her to Google that her birth father, no matter how evil he is, ended up in a gruesome death. A clean one, maybe. An accident more likely. But I have a feeling what you're planning will not be an accident, but a message."

Jack smiled at the ceiling. "Fuck, Ethan," he said softly, surprised at how well Ethan knows the way he thinks. But not really surprised, as the closer they have gotten over the years, the more Ethan knew how to read him.

"I'm just giving you something to think about. I won't tell you what to do, because you don't listen anyway. But we will have the honor of telling her her story about her remarkable, strong and beautiful mother, and who her father was and how he died. So you know, think about what you want that story to be. Because we'll never lie to her."

Jack nodded. "And the second thing?"

Ethan let go of his hand and laid his head on Jack's chest. Jack instinctively started running his hands through his hair. Ethan closed his eyes and let a few heartbeats pass. Then he said, "Just come back to me, Jackie Bear. I need you. We need you."

Jack said softly, "I will. 48 hours tops. I will be back in your arms."

"When do you leave?" Ethan asked.

"In the morning. Before you wake up."

They again laid quietly in the dark. Then Ethan said, "Thanks for telling me, Jack. For not having any secrets between us. For being being honest and open with me. For trusting me with all the parts of you, even the parts the scare me. For not just disappearing on me."

"I'll never do that," Jack said. "I'll never leave you like that again. And I swear on my life, I'll come back to you."

"Well that's not really fair, is it? To swear on your life that you'll come back. Because if you don't come back it will only be because you'll be dead so I can't kill you myself." They both hesitated, then started laughing. "God, we are so fucked up," Ethan said.

When their laughter died down, Jack said again, "48 hours. I'll come back to you. I promise."

Ethan didn't respond, just let the sound of Jack's heartbeat lull him to sleep.

~~~~~

Jack was quiet and deep in thought on the ride up to Worcester, which Jamel did not seem to mind at all. Unlike the last time when he had tried to shut out all thoughts of Ethan during his time in Ireland, instead he allowed his thoughts and love for him to consume him. Never in a million years did he think Ethan was going to respond the way he did. He thought it was going to end up in a nasty fight. But Ethan surprised him with his understanding and acceptance, making him love him all the more.

He remembered his Uncle Nate's words to him when discussing his own father's temper, who they use to call Red Jamie, and how his mother Betsy changed him. "That's what the love of a good woman can do, change you for the better. Or in your case, a good man." Jack didn't know if Ethan would ever quell all of Red Jackie, but his love was certainly changing him for the better. So he decided to heed Ethan's words and change his mind about what he had intended to do.

His plan was to indeed send a message. It was to be bloody and brilliant, and possibly make national news. But considering how Claire would feel reading it now, or how JC would feel reading it 15 years from now, he realized it did not need to be a public message, but a private one. As they got closer, Jack closed his mind off from thoughts of Ethan and went over the new plan in his head repeatedly.

Jack asked Jamel to drop him off at the state university, under the guise of attending a free psychology lecture. As Jamel pulled over to the front entrance, he turned to his friend. "Hey, Jack?"

"Yea?"

"You know I was a Sergeant in the Army for over seven years. I trained soldiers and led units into battle. So I know the look on a man's face when he is ready to go war. I know the look of a trained killer." Jamel looked at Jack knowingly. Jack held his gaze and did not respond.

He continued. "You got a lot of people that love you, starting with one, your husband and my friend, and two, my partner and your friend. I don't know what you're about to get yourself into but just be smart and safe. And you call me if you need a hand or an out. You get me?"

Jamel held up a small piece of paper and put it in Jack's hands. Jack didn't respond at first, then said, "Don't mention this trip to anyone, not even Connor."

Jamel said casually, "Mention what? I drove by myself to Grafton Hill today, did two home inspections and went home."

He smiled a bit. "Thanks, Mel." Jack grabbed his bag and left Jamel's truck.

Jamel called after him, "Don't hesitate if you need me, Jack. I mean that."

"I know," Jack said. "Thanks again."

~~~

David Vitalis enjoyed a good massage that came with a happy ending, and more. He settled into his room in the back of the massage parlor, far away from the regular guest and room. He paid handsomely for privacy and that was what he was going to get.

And everyone at Chai Khop Khun Day and Night Spa knows that no matter what they heard, he was not to be disturbed for the full three hours. Hell, he became a stakeholder at the spa for this very reason. It was a thriving gym and spa by day, a bathhouse for men like him with a certain proclivity for young women and men at night.

They were smuggled from southeast Asia, Africa or South America, all who had a debt to pay off, and he was happy to help them do it. And nothing was better than a sweet and tight ass to be at his beck and call. The younger the better, because the older they are the more they resist. He learned that lesson more than a few times.

David hopped onto the massage table ready for his masseuse to service him, excited about his new prize. Rose, was the new girl, just "transferred" from Thailand. His regular girl Emerald was getting too old so he asked them to send him a different girl. Rose, the 18-year-old girl had been massaging him for the last eight months, and she'd been getting better at it.

Of course he had to break her in first, make her understand who was the boss and that saying no was not an option. Now he belonged to her. Her trip was expensive so she had a lot of years to work off before she would be considered for anything but the back rooms. He had a hard time breaking down her will but suddenly last month she stopped fighting him.

She had grown despondent, like he was with a dead body, but it was better than the snarling, biting, kicking and scratching that she did for the first seven months. At first he wondered what changed but then he just resolved that his dominating tactics worked. She learned that she was his to do what she wanted, and there was no use fighting. He smiled at that thought.

The attendant came in to set up the room. "Hello, Mr. Vitalis. I'm Jamie, yer attending." He busied himself with preparing the oils and loading up fresh towels.

David had never seen this one before but it didn't matter. They were always finding new boys to help out. This one was clean shaven, platinum blond hair, brown eyes, and tight white pants that showed off his round bottom. He could see how this one would be selected. He also wore latex gloves, which in itself was unusual. David has been known to break in a boy or two as well, he just preferred girls. But he certainly wouldn't mind a piece of this one, with his sexy Irish accent.

"Thank you, Jamie. Make sure Rose doesn't keep me waiting long."

"My pleasure, Mr. Vitalis. We are here to serve. Yer all set. Rose will be in within the next two minutes. Enjoy ya time, sir."

Cute kid, David thought as the young man smiled a delicious sideways smile that showed off his dimples. As he walked past David couldn't help himself. He reached out and grabbed a handful of his ass. The young man stopped and gasped, but did not turn around.

David continued to massage his ass, then said, "Maybe when I'm done with Rose I can give you spin, yeah?"

Jamie took a moment then said with his face still turned away, "Like I said, we're here to serve. I'll go get Rose for ya."

David let him go and Jamie let himself out of the room. He smiled to himself. It was going to be a great night.

After he stripped to nothing and wrapped a towel around his waist for pretenses only, he waited. There was a soft knock, then a petite Thai girl came into the room. looking stoic. She hated him for what he had done to her.

She did not talk, she got right to work, getting the massage oil and rubbing it on her hands, then gently massaging the old man's back. After she worked his entire backside of his body from his shoulders to his legs, she said quietly, "Please turn around."

David did and removed the towel as he did so. His erection was hard and stiff. He positioned his head on the small pillow extension on the massage table that exposed his neck and smiled at her.

"I missed you, Rose. Now do what you did last time, and remember, I like it rough."

She resisted the urge to snarl at him and instead said, "I will get more oil."

Rose walked back over to the table and as she passed the door she turned the knob, then grabbed a hand towel and gently draped it over his eyes. "Like this?" she said sweetly. The sweetest she had ever been with him.

David was pleased. By now he would have had to tell her about her tone, teach her about being gracious and grateful to the clients. He assumed his training was working on her.

"Yes, like that. Now get to work," he ordered her.

"Yes, Mr. David."

David was so engrossed in the anticipation of getting a handjob, he did not notice the sound of the door opening and closing with a soft click. When he felt hands touch him and begin to stroke him he sighed. His wife couldn't give a handjob to save her life, and a blow job was way out of the question. This was heaven on earth.

It was only a minute into the handjob that he realized that the hands he was feeling were not soft hands but stronger. Manlier. He was just about to say something when the next thing he felt was a prick at the top of his spine, like someone stuck a needle in him.

"What the fuck!" He sat up and the towel fell off his eyes.

It took him a minute to survey the scene. In front of him was the young man Jamie, giving him a handjob, albeit a good one, but still, not Rose. He looked over and Rose was in the corner by the door, with a smug look on her face, holding a syringe.

David was confused. He looked at Jamie who had an unreadable expression on his face, then back at Rose. He touched the back of his neck.

"What the fuuuuu...."

Suddenly David felt lightheaded and it was like all the limbs on his body gave out at the same time. He fell backwards against the bed. The sensation continued to spread, from his face to his back, down his shoulders, to his legs and his feet. He couldn't even feel the handjob anymore.

Rose came over and adjusted the pillow section of the massage table upward so that David would be able to see what was going to happen. David could barely move his mouth muscles, but he managed to get out a few words. "What did you do to me?"

"It's a sufentanil and fentanyl mix," the boy named Jamie told him in his Irish accent. "The strongest dose that I coulda put together that would paralyze ya, make ya immobile.

"I thought about adding Ketamine but I didn't wanta knock yer out completely. I wanted yer to be able to see every single thing I'm gonna do to yer and not be able ta do anything about it. Because that's how yer like it, right? When someone just lays there and takes it for as long as yer wanta keep them there? Well David, yer gonna lay there and take it, because I'm in charge now."

Jack stopped rubbing on his penis and pulled out a sharp knife instead, that was hidden in the towels. He started carving into his chest, deep enough for lines of blood to form. Rose continued to watch with fascination. Jack talked calmly as he wrote.

"How many lassies, David? How many have yer raped, molested, assaulted in your 43 years on this earth? I know about at least 10 of them. Anastacia. Katelin. Priscilla. Danielle."

He swallowed. "Claire. Maya. Bethann. Jade. Maria. Isabel. And that's just the ones I found on social media. That's not counting the ones here that yer never bothered to learn their names, like Hyun, Chitra and Ka'eo. That's her name by the way, the one yer call Rose. Her name is Ka'eo. Her name means victorious, strong. Her father back in Thailand named her."

Ka'eo smiled at him as he said, "Yer would never break a lass with a name like that."