All Comments on 'Bizarre Yard Sale'

I was hoping for a good story instead it was just another pike of limp dick nonsense.

... it was still well written. I didn't rate it, because I don't think I can do so in a useful way. It was too far outside my comfort zone, for reasons I don't need to go into. If I like a story, and it is well written, I will praise it in public; if I think it could have been improved, I will offer my criticism privately; and if the story turns me off, I won't rate it. I'd do the same thing if I were in a restaurant and chose a dish that I didn't care for.

Now I'm going to do something I don't usually do: comment on another comment. That anonymous jackass has his head up his ass. I'd be more graphic, but this is a family porn site. Clearly this story wasn't to his taste, but that's no excuse for being insulting.

I had to read the story twice to get all the jumping around figured out. I'm better when the author uses symbols to let you know when there is a time change or something. a typically odd story that I enjoy on the second reading.

i am so picky when it comes to MC stories but i have to say its one of the best i have read so far ! its obvious that you are a skilled writer , the characters are very well done and given life to , even the small details give the story realism which alot of writers lack .. i did believe there was a husband and wife i could imagine them easily and thats what made the mind controlling element so surprising and Erotic ! i almost had a fever :D , for those who complain filth is a very important part of hypnosis and mind control fetish so if you hate that then mind control is not your thing anyway , Please continue this story and / or write more mind control themed erotica , i would love to see Hypnosis in your stories , with that said sorry for any possible grammar mistakes and thank you for the pleasant ride :)

Hi,

I'm the author of this story. It's my first attempt at the Mind Control category, and I like it. The story Does move about in flashbacks, and I could have done it in a more linear style, but I didn't like the way it read so I did the flashback thing, but yes, I could have put in markers for that. Sorry.

I wrote this as a stand alone story, but a sequel isn't out of the question. I had actually thought about a story about "Betty" and how she ended up at the house, as for Annie and Carl, in my mind he somehow manages to either keep her away from the sale, or keeps her from being taken.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who has and will read, vote, and comment. Please feel free to contact me for feedback or critique.

Creative and original. It moved at a perfect pace to keep me excited and interested. Nice work!

I also found this very erotic. That said, and while I know it's a bit atypical for fans of this genre, but I hate stories where the bad guys win. At least with an asshole protagonist you can suspend your more stringent ethics to empathise a little, as a power fantasy: This sort of story is more of a tragedy.

On that note, the sequel I would want out of this is one where the siblings are taken down. Vengeance! Justice! Not that it's my decision, of course. Also, I'm curious as to the exact method they're using. Presumably some form of magic. Would that ruin the mystery too much?

So this "gift", this "sacred essence" bestowed on her helps him how? Does she deepthroat him now? When it gets to the point he can't satisfy her, what next? Another trip to the yard sale...

I think I would stumble on the stairs and fake a sprained ankle. "Sorry I can't make it, honey. Here's the map and the keys. Drive carefully."

Get out and be seen by several people that day. If she doesn't come back, file a missing persons report. If she's never found, It's cheaper than a divorce.

Very nice, i hope he gets involved this time.