by Todd172
Very holy yes, but very good. Boy meets girl boy lose girl, boy finds girl again and rides off into the sunset with a bag of jewels of course!Keep going!
Be nice if you were Still here Todd. But like others; guests your now * retired* .At least from this site. Be nice for a come back. Maybe ANDHOPanother shack story. Or a totally new one.. if not. Then as I've heard said be4 THANKS FOR THE MEMERIES... AND YOUR STORYS.. HAPPY RETIREMENT.. hope you and yours are well.. thks. 👋👋🤷👍👍🤷💯💯🏆🏆🏆🏆🏅
Hey, plot holes are cool (so long as they don't lead to contradictions). Just think how much better "Casablanca" would be without that flashback to Paris, "Psycho" without the Phoenix stuff at the beginning, or the final scene. Trust your readers to fill in those holes for themselves.
Further Chapters are needwed regarding the Questions at the end, plus it needs some sex. The story was well written with the Paragraphs were about the right length.
Can't add or say anything more than you did in the Post Production Notes.
Yes, indeed! More, please - the quest to hunt down and exact vengeance against the Pasha, including a bit of back story to close a few of the loopholes in this tale would be entertaining. Then, too, there is the rotten scoundrel of the father to reckon with, with the inclusion of the equally rotten brothers to furnish some physical challenge for Val. The list goes on! I have repeatedly enjoyed all of your stories. In fact, I think I will go back and reread "the girls of Hollywood", especially the convoy scene, for the umptieth time. Can't get it out of my head; don't want to.
Jem also has a bone to pick with her father for valuing her so little, something she never thought of but with some with her Val.....
Fun. Two grateful harem girls who would happily enthusiastically worship him as their lord and master and a basket of gems ... NIce. Thanks,
A fun story where the hero rescues the Damsel in distress and he is generously rewarded. Not bad for a quickie!
It's been a while since I read much Howard but this is good and in his spirit. He was good at putting in the necessary exposition in just a short paragraph or two. Just enough to fill in the backstory. This is good as a little more modern take on his tales. It was always the spirit or feel of his work that made it worth reading.
For those who want to throw their money at todd here is a comment that he put in a place where very few would read it.
We have novelized the first three Needles and Delaney stories into an ebook on Amazon, titled, originally enough as "Needles and Delaney." We did that partly because so many have asked us to, partly because it was just something new to do, and partly as to protect the work - there are people who skim sites for stories then publish them as ebooks under false names. Some of the real heavy hitters here have had that happen to them.
You've a real knack for writing pulp. Good pulp, if that's not an oxymoron, lol.
Not one of your great ones, but well worth reading and worth 5*. A follow up would be great.
Never read Howard, so I can't compare, but it's pretty standard fluff stuff, fun to read, and Val is a great character. Yep, if you can scare one up, another would be great, or you could use this sketch as a chapter in a wider work, or as an outline for a novel. However, you might be better served to use your time expanding the Shack stuff, or maybe TJ.
Brings back memories of Howard, Lin Carter, Fritz Leiber's Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser. And a host of others.
This is a classic fluff story. It's fun and doesn't stress the brain.
Definitely a story that could be rewritten into a long book or continued for more fun.
Please continue... I liked the fact that I could imagine the missing parts in my own mind. I assume you writer types want to spark the imagination of your readers!
TK
I’ve read all of your stories now, hope you keep writing, really enjoy the shack series, I like how the stories intertwine, but don’t necessarily rely on each other. They could all stand alone if need be. Really enjoyed the latest story of needles and Delaney, hope you decide to write about those two again, it feels like their story is just getting started. You could have a lot of fun writing Delaneys character, she has endless possibilities.
Keep it up you have lots of fans out here.
5* of course. You are a very talented writer. Thank you for continuing to offer your work to this site, I really appreciate it!!
This was AWESOME! more please :)
P.s. Have you written a book yet? I love your writing style, and would totally buy it :)
Loved this! Jem deserves some happiness with a good guy after being stuck in a harem. Glad her friend & friend's guard made it out, too. Pretty please continue?
Maybe 25 pleas for continuation will be the trigger for more Jem, Val & Asha ink! Hope so!
I like that. Jem vs. 'The Pasha'. if you have nothing else to do......
Thanks for sharing...................
A nice departure from grittier tales, I hope you do more with this setting. Thanks for the ride!
This has the potential for a series. Please do more with these four characters. By the way, I have read all of your stories with Pogo, Emma, Grease, and the others. Great stories. Keep writing.
Although having recently re-read the Tarzan books, Jane became quite skilled at jungle lore and survival, and was always a strong personality.
Yes, I'll add my voice to those asking more of these characters; and being that Val is a little sweeter/more heroic/more honorable than the "barbarian army" norm, it would be nice to get some backstory.
She thinks it might be her father's house?
Maybe it is and he's hiding in the cellar?
The Pasha fled by sea?
Aren't the Westernor a sea power?
Yeah, there were gaping plot holes. Shit, that never happens on Lit! We expect tightly written plots with ... ah, shut the fuck up. Great stuff. Write more. It's always a good day when there's a fresh Todd story to read.
Didn't expect to like it much, not my kind of genre, but I trust your writing ability and was pleasantly surprised. Growing up poor, I never knew anyone that read pulp mags (so I couldn't borrow them) so I'm more familiar with O.Henry, Aesop Fables, Tolkien, that kind of stuff. This was good though, I enjoyed it.
Bring us more. I'd like to see her father and brothers pay for betraying her, and maybe find out more about her mother, sisters? And of course, continue the story line about Val and Jem, we need to see what happens in further exploits.
Good story as usual, 5 stars as usual.
I grew up on Robert E. Howard, L. Sprague deCamp, and Fritz Lieber. This was a wonderful tribute, and I look forward to more. I agree with another commentor that these characters have more of their story to tell.
...this one wasn't bad. There wasn't enough dripping ichor, though that's really a stylistic thing, and I don't think you EVER used the word "squamous."
Yeah, I liked it. Nice entertaining read.
...who traded her for probably worthless trading rights now, in the Pasha s absence. And brothers and a mother...
So far, no matter what direction you go the story is always good.
Jem and Val definitely seem to have more stories to tell, but you need to tell us more about Asha too. She just seems way too cool to leave in the background.
Again 5 stars and looking forward to your next story.
Took me back to my early teen years when I found a box of old weird tales that belonged to my grandfather.
Conan, is that you? No, well, you'll do! We need some more of this story. Thanks!
The feedback tells me what is working and what isn't, so it is really important. I m sure these characters will be back, they're hell of a lot of fun to write. I plan to read Howard's Red Nails again before the next installment just to pump up the volume.
Green - chose tendrils on purpose. I thought of tentacles, but discounted them because, well.... tentacles... naked harem girl.... we've all seen enough Hentai to know where THAT goes. So it's a giant, city destroying, Lovecraftian extra dimensional man eating plant. I can live with that.
I remember buying Canan & Kull comics and loving them. This reminded me of those stories. Keep up the good work!
Tentacles...
Easter eggs if you read the entire collection?
who knows?
Green-something
Freaking awesome!!
Loved it. Perfect escape fantasy.
"she would be accept" - "she would accept"
This was a lot of fun!
It has real potential for novelizing into a "Game of Thrones" type epic.
Is what I grew up on.
I would hear more tales about these four.
Bring them back soon.
This was a fun story, I do wish there was a bit more of a buildup to the climax, a switch of perspective from Jem to Val or something to add a bit more tension, but this was a fun short story
As a fantasy writing Texan.. Great story. Plot holes only matter if suspension of disbelief fails. You didn't fail. Please continue this. The characters are good and vivid.
an homage to a master done well.
Holes? Big enough to write a story in. Unfinished? I hope so.