All Comments on 'Blackhawk Hall Ch. 01'

and this was good, but you should read it over a little better, some things didn't make much sense. In the last page you wrote, she bent over and put her hand on the table behind her, looking over her shoulder at him. Huh?

This is wonderful! I can't wait to read more about Arilee and her life.

A whole different angle on the rough stuff from Danica, I love it.

Jason

As A Story Line, with expectations of more stories to come, I have nothing but a desire to read the rest of the Story.

About the only thing that struck me as a bit strange, was the way the Story opened. I was a bit confused for the begining paragraphs, referring to her having been somewhere else. Likely that was just my perception, as you quickly told parts of that tale in order to let us know how she got there.

Perhaps, if I had read the other story line first, I may not have felt a bit lost at the begining of this story. Even though I did read the prefice to the story, all was not clear from the beginning as to what was Happening. Hopefully you can see some constructive comment in this.

that they find themselves physically, at least, attracted to each other.

A really well thought out and out together story. Really enjoyed it.

I like this story. A great start, can't wait to read more.

Characters already well developed

Hints of deeper plot in place iTdHz

Loving it.

I also really like how you have Christi going slow on the girl-girl thing with Arilee, rather than just jumping in to give your readers a cheap thrill.

Looking forward to reading the other chapters.