Blackmailed Bride Ch. 12

"You should really do one of these for your portfolio, Suki," Erin said. "These are great and might get you some more work in faces and figures, expand your work past landscapes and still lifes."

"Would you and Tanner object to doing one for myself to add to my portfolio?" Suki asked.

"I suppose it would be okay if it followed the same guidelines and didn't show my face when I'm nude."

"Wonderful. Why don't you take pictures of these sketches and you and Tanner pick out those I can start work on. I have to finish my commission first, and I'll do Tanner's next."

Shooting the sketches on my phone, I took pictures of each while Erin was holding it up for me.

When I had them all, Suki showed me the three she'd most like to do for her patron. One of them had me lying on the couch. My head was bent back and my arm was flung over my face. My legs were slightly parted, clearly showing my sex and my breasts were both visible. It was a beautiful picture, but one of those which exposed more of me than most of the others.

Another one had me standing and was from behind me. My legs were slightly apart, but all I exposed was my buttocks and back with a hint of the side of a breast. My head was turned down and to the left, but my hair cascaded down masking my face. Since it showed less of me than the many of the others, it was the one I would have picked. In the last one, I was turned more to the side, so my left breast was visible, as were my back and butt. My right hand was on my ass and my head was turned that way so my face was behind my head and hair again. It would have been my second choice of the three.

Suki thanked me for helping her out and I hugged both before heading home. I stopped at a Thai restaurant as I wouldn't have time to cook, remove my plug and shower before Tanner got home and most of our leftovers were used last night.

After eating, I showed Tanner the pictures explaining which three Suki was most interested in using, pointing to the one I liked most. Instead of picking either of those I was most interested, he picked the one of me lying down with my sex exposed. Once again, he surprised me with his willingness to share the intimate details of my body, but I didn't need the Louvre speech again, so I didn't say anything.

For himself, he picked one of me standing, facing the artist. My feet were about a shoulders width apart and I was standing hipshot, my weight on one leg more than the other. My sex and face were both visible and I had a look of defiance or indifference on my face as if I was daring anyone to comment on my nudity. It was a great picture, but showed far too much of me considering you could clearly see it was me.

"Where do you think you're going to hang this, Tanner?"

"In the study, or maybe our bedroom."

"Everyone can tell it's me."

"It's our picture in our house, not hanging in someone else's house or a museum."

"If it's in our study or bedroom, other people will see it. You'll be showing your naked wife to whoever sees it. People go into your study all the time, and don't give me the Louvre explanation. It might have worked on our honeymoon where no one else knew me. People who know me will see it in our house. They will know it's me and what my naked body looks like. Your friend Geoff will see it. It's hard enough keeping his hands off me now without showing him my naked body. I can see him now masturbating to images of that picture stuck in his demented little head."

"He probably masturbates to you in a swimsuit. What difference does it make if it's you in a swimsuit or you naked?"

"You're not making me feel better, Tanner. I don't want him masturbating to me at all, under any circumstances, but seeing me naked will make it seem a whole lot worse. We can't be responsible for what's in his twisted brain, but I don't need to feed it either. You know every one of my girlfriends had to quit dancing with him because he was putting his hands on them. He got handsy with me, putting his hand just above my ass instead of my waist. I don't know why he's your friend."

"Because we've known each other since grade school."

"That's not a very good reason for excusing most of his behavior."

"If he gets fresh with you, tell me. I'll make him stop."

"I shouldn't have to tell you he's getting fresh. He shouldn't do it if he's your friend. If he does it anyway, I don't see how you can keep calling him a friend."

"We'll hang it in our bedroom then. Geoff rarely goes in there."

"Which is not the same as never goes in there. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so clearly me. Can't you pick another one?"

"I like this one the best."

"It's a great picture, Tanner. I like it myself, but I don't want to be showing myself nude to all your friends."

"Are you ignoring the fact you're nude for your friend doing the paintings?"

"No, but she's a woman and she's seen me naked before, in the locker room. It's not the same."

"A woman and a lesbian. Are you so sure she isn't masturbating to images of you right now?"

That shut me up. Would Suki masturbate while picturing me naked? I guess it could be happening. Or Suki and Erin could be making love while they both imagined my naked body. Did it bother me? A little, maybe, but not nearly as much as Geoff's smirking face beating his meat while he imagined me nude. Was it sexist of me? Thinking Suki didn't make as much difference as Geoff did? Then realized it wasn't about gender, it was about Geoff. Stan had seen me naked, had even watched me masturbate and get fucked. If he was thinking about me now and masturbating, it wouldn't bother me nearly as much as if it were Geoff.

"No, it's mostly Geoff. If Stan were masturbating to images of me naked, I wouldn't care as much as if it were Geoff."

We argued about it for several more minutes, but eventually, I acquiesced to his desire to have this one. It was another by-product of my blackmailer. I felt guilty for what was happening, what I was doing outside of my marriage, and as a result, I didn't want to deny Tanner anything if he wanted it bad enough. Knowing my blackmailer was going to fuck my ass meant I wanted to give it to Tanner first. I'd given my oral virginity to my blackmailer before my husband, and I didn't want him to have my anal virginity first. If we couldn't stop him before the time came to give him my ass, I'd let Tanner have me first.

He chose the picture of me from the rear for Suki's portfolio picture, I think as a sop to me for picking the other one for our house. It wasn't enough to make me feel better. If he didn't care enough about me not to show my naked body to anyone who showed up at our house, maybe I should take a job as a nude model and let everyone have my naked body hanging in their house. It felt too much like biting off my nose, so I let the impulse die.

Tanner tried to have sex with me after, but I wasn't in the mood. I wasn't totally enraged, but I wasn't much in a loving frame of mind either.

Before he went to sleep, he told me he was playing racquetball tomorrow afternoon.

"Fine. I'm going over to Tiffany's anyway." I turned over and went to sleep.

******

Tanner worked in his study in the morning. I was still peevish, so I didn't bother trying to coax him from its confines. Before he left, Tanner told me he'd grab a bite with the racquetball buddy, so eat what I wanted at supper. It seemed like the longest extended time we'd been mad at each other. Even the day after the poker game seemed friendlier once I was up then today did. I wasn't even sure it was his fault I detested Geoff so much. If he asked me to give up Tiffany, I'd balk as much as he had, though to my way of thinking, they weren't even in the same league of detestability even if he didn't like her, though he liked her fine. Unless Tiffany was my betrayer, but if she was, I wouldn't cling to her as a friend anymore.

Maybe it was more he didn't seem to respect my feelings about my modesty and not wanting my nude picture in the house. It was one more thing to worry about when guests came over.

I texted Suki about the three pictures we'd chosen and she was happy with all three. I'm glad someone was happy. I had a sandwich before going to Tiffany's. Assuming we'd have some wine, I didn't want go on an empty stomach. Tiffany had let me know Yvonne and Taylor could make it today, Donna was working. Her schedule included working one out of every three weekends. Yvonne was there when I got there and Taylor arrived five minutes later.

As much as I wanted to relax without boundaries with my friends, my doubts about them couldn't help but interfere with my ability to get close. I answered their questions, but there was so much I couldn't tell them, so much I didn't think I could trust them with. All three of them sensed my reserve and finally, Tiffany said something.

"You're not telling us something. What is it?"

"Like what? You want me to spell out all the times we had sex?"

"No, I don't. I mean I'd like to know you're happy, and Tanner is treating you all right, but it's like you're sad. You say everything's hunky dory, but you don't act like it."

"Do you feel the same?" I asked the other two.

"To be honest," Yvonne said, "yeah."

"You're one of the cheeriest people I know," Taylor said. "So chirpy it can be sickening at times. You're not cheery today. It's like you're on another planet and phoning it in."

Crap!. One of the problems with having good friends. It was hard to pull anything over on them; they knew you too well.

"Well, Tanner and I had a kind of fight last night. It wasn't much, but it dragged on through today, so I guess that's it."

"What kind of fight. He isn't hurting you, is he?" Yvonne asked.

"No, the only time he hurts me is if he screws me too hard. This fight was about something else. I'm posing nude for Suki for a commissioned project she got..."

"Wait a minute!" Tiffany said. "You, Brooke Grant, virgin extraordinaire, are posing nude for Suki?"

"Yes, except for the Grant part. It's Mason now."

"Damn, girl!" Yvonne said. "What's the fight about; you posing nude or him not being able to watch."

"Neither, really. Tanner and I got rights of refusal on the picture. I didn't want my face with my naked body, but Suki promised to do a painting which was more generic and my face wouldn't be visible. In return for my help and Tanner's permission, she promised Tanner a painting of his own. Tanner picked one where it's very clear who I am and I'm fully exposed and he wants to hang it in the house where anyone can see it. We fought about it. It's bad enough I'm posing, but to know anyone can see the finished product and know it's me, upset me horribly. He didn't care if I was upset. It's the one he wants."

"Have you got the pictures with you," Taylor said, "so we can weigh in on the subject?"

"These are the three Suki will be painting," I showed them the text I sent to Shizuko with the three identified.

Tiffany said, "These are nice. I wouldn't mind having any one of them hanging in my home. I can see why Tanner likes the one he likes and why you don't. What made you decide to pose nude anyway. It doesn't sound like the Brooke I know at all. Has marriage changed your sense of propriety that much? You never would have posed nude three weeks ago, under any circumstances."

What could I say to them? Mere nudity didn't matter all that much in the current scheme of things. That fucking and sucking strange men was far more concerning to me? That to avoid the one, posing naked for Suki at her house was better than staying at mine to be raped? I couldn't say any of it, particularly if one of them was my betrayer, but if they were, they probably already knew.

"Let me say you're at least partly responsible for my savoir-faire attitude toward nudity, Taylor. Those swimsuits you gave me weren't much better than bare. Tanner liked me to wear them and even encouraged me to go topless on occasion. I didn't die in the process, so I guess I'm a little more relaxed about nudity. It helped nobody knew me on St. Lucia. It's partly why I'm upset now. This painting isn't going to be displayed in Timbuktu where no one knows me from Eve, but in my own apartment where you can look from my face to the painting and know who posed for it."

"We can see your point," Yvonne said. "Out of curiosity, did Suki do any others?"

"Oh, yes, about ten of them. They're in my phone too." I pulled open the photo app and showed them all to them.

"Well, now we've figured why you're so edgy, can we talk a little about the sex thing. You did say Tanner screwed you too hard," Taylor said.

"Sometimes. Not often. He is fairly big and if he's driving, he can leave me a little sore."

"How big is he?" Yvonne asked.

"Do you still have that glass dildo you were demonstrating blow jobs on?" I asked Tiffany.

"Like I would ever give it up. I'll get it." Tiffany got up and disappeared for a couple minutes, returning with the same one we'd practiced on before.

She handed it to me. "Tanner is about this long." I put my finger almost an inch more past the tip of dildo. "And about this big around." I circled my fingers around it but leaving space to show approximately another half inch or so in diameter.

"Be still my beating heart," Yvonne said, fanning her face with her hand. "He's magnifico."

"No wonder you get sore once in awhile," Taylor said. "He's ginormous."

"Most of the time, it's okay," I said. "But if he's had a little too much to drink, or climaxed two or three times already, he can go for a long while."

"He's still going after cumming two or three times," Tiffany said. "Does he have a brother, or a cousin? Please tell me there's a long lost relative who looks like him somewhere in the family tree?"

"You've met the whole family, sorry."

"And for the most part, you get along?" Taylor asked.

"For the most part. I know marriages require compromise and you can't always get what you want, but I wish he had as much respect for my modesty as I do. For someone who claims he'd go berserk if I ever fooled around on him, he certainly doesn't mind people getting an eyeful. The first day of our honeymoon, we made love in the tub."

They looked at each other for a moment. "So," Yvonne said, "big deal."

"You don't understand. The tub was outside the bungalow on the deck. We were seen by four people in a boat who were cheering us on. I was mortified. We went swimming nude, sixty-nined in the hammock outside. Thank God it was dark for both of those. It's like he wanted people to see me naked. It's the way I feel about the picture. That he wants others to see me buck ass bare."

Not to mention playing strip poker with our friends and fucking me in front of them. I'd played because he'd wanted it, not because I wanted to. If not for feeling guilty all the time, I wouldn't be so acquiescent to some of desires. My blackmailer was not only doing what he did, but giving Tanner little pry bars to my psyche which he was using to peel away my normal sense of modesty. I'd admit it would probably be somewhat beneficial to loosen up some from how I had been, but instead of losing any sense of reserve slowly over the course of time, it was being forcibly ripped away with a jackhammer.

"Does he give a reason for his behavior?" Tiffany asked

"He says he's proud of me, my beauty, and he was the one who captured my heart and soul, and he wants people to be envious of him. His line is, 'you don't hide the Mona Lisa in the basement. You give her a prominent display in the Louvre.' I love he thinks I'm beautiful, but I want to be beautiful for him, not every Tom, Dick, and Harry on the street."

"I can see where his attitude would drive you nuts, Brooke," Tiffany said. "You were always the least flamboyant and most conservative person in the group. We could try talking to him for you. Maybe we could convince him to respect your boundaries where you can't."

"I appreciate your offer, but I think it's something I should work out with him. I can't go running to my girlfriends or mother every time we have a dispute. Maybe it won't be as bad as I think. Maybe I'll get used to being nude from posing for Suki. Or maybe he'll change his mind and let me keep it in the closet. I'lll let him pull it out every couple weeks to look at it."

"It probably is best you work things out with him," Taylor said. "You wouldn't like it if his boy posse started trying to change your behavior."

"Ugh, especially Geoff," Yvonne said.

"I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks he's a slimy weasel," I said. "I don't know what Tanner sees in him. I know they've been friends forever, but he is such a pig."

"Tell me about it," Tiffany said. "I had to take his hands off my ass twice while we were dancing before I finally gave up and left him on the dance floor."

"Taylor, I have a favor to ask," I said.

"What? You know I'll try to help any way I can."

"I want to learn how to deep throat like you do," I said. "I'd love to surprise Tanner one day and be able to do it for him." Plus my blackmailer had given me three weeks to learn.

Another example of how my blackmailer was affecting me. I enjoyed fellatio enough with Tanner to realize I might eventually learn how to deep throat him naturally, but I had three weeks to learn. I had to force myself to learn now instead of letting it occur normally over time. The same with anal sex. Though the thought of it didn't appeal to me, I might have eventually succumbed to Tanner''s desire to do it given how much I loved him. But it wouldn't occur as a natural result of my growing love and becoming a more sexual animal over time, it was being forced upon me within a month of the first time I'd ever had sex. I was sitting around with my girlfriends with a butt plug in my ass waiting for my back door to be deflowered within the week and it would be my blackmailer taking it instead of my husband unless I allowed him to take it first. I was being forced past all my natural boundaries and inclinations before I was ready.

"Even after you bitched about him?" Yvonne asked. I jerked myself back to my life.

"I still love the guy. On the whole, he makes me happy. I'd like to make him happy too."

"I wouldn't mind learning either," Yvonne said.

"Or me. Sounds like pizza and wine time," Tiffany added.

"I don't know if I can teach it. I don't think about it, I just do it," Taylor said.

"Maybe we can figure out how you're doing it if we watch you do it enough," I said.

Tiffany ordered the pizza and while we waited for it to arrive, we sipped on an Italian chianti and I talked about some of my other escapades on my honeymoon. None that really mattered and I kept the identity of my new friends from them. I talked about the sunset cruise, snorkeling, water skiing, the dining, the massage, but all as if Tanner and I were alone or in a large group, not with new friends. Somehow, I considered I needed them to be secret if in the future, they could be of help. Its like I couldn't trust my girlfriends with the knowledge they existed. It was Kathy who suggested a private detective, and right now, my girlfriends were being investigated to see if one of them was traitorous.

The pizza arrived and I encouraged them to bring me up to date on their lives as I was running out of things I felt I could discuss with them. Tiffany had a new boyfriend. Yvonne was getting somewhat serious with her lad, and Taylor was still playing the field. Taylor was the gender opposite of Tanner before he met me, a player. I believe her longest relationship to date was a month. The only one with shorter relationship spans was Maria, who seldom went longer than two dates before moving on. As she was an admitted bisexual, it was never terribly hard to find the next one. It was hard to know she even dated as some were so brief.