Blending Love

Melody and Nelson planned a large housewarming party in the New Year, but confided in Jill, Pat and me that it was also going to be their lowkey wedding. I told them I would be offended if they did not invite Trevor and although they were reluctant, they did. He did not reply, however turned up on the night.

My ego had taken a battering with the lengthy divorce process. I had never felt so self-conscious as I did when leaving Trevor's that night after the young woman arrived. I thought she was everything I was not. Jill tried to remind me of my gorgeous figure and beautiful auburn hair with flashes of natural red highlights and my stunning green eyes, but I could not see it. I saw small saggy breasts and wide hips. I hid myself in clothes a few sizes too big and could not remember the last time I had had sex.

Melody took me shopping for a dress to wear to the party. She convinced me to wear a burgundy silk number. It was much too figure hugging for my tastes, but Melody asked me to trust her. Melody had arranged for Jill, Nelson's mother, Daphne, her and I to have our hair and makeup done in the afternoon whilst Nelson minded the children. Daphne was delightful. Nelson's father had died when Nelson was a boy and she had never remarried. Nelson was also an only child. Daphne lived interstate, but she said she was happy with her life. I thought that my goal was to be as happy as Daphne once my kids were grown.

When I put on the dress Charlotte told me I looked like a princess. I put on my black strappy heels that Melody had also purchased for me and draped the black organza wrap over my shoulders. It was not a cold night, but I was so self-conscious about my appearance. Melody wore a pale pink dress in a similar cut to mine however she was a lot more comfortable with her body.

There was a lovely crowd of people present and they were mostly surprised when the celebrant appeared and they were told that this was not only a housewarming, but also a wedding. I was Melody's witness and I remembered back to my wedding day. Nelson looked devoted to his new wife and they both made a gorgeous couple. Alex and Charlotte were pageboy and flower girl and loved their outfits. The photographer insisted on taking candid photos throughout the evening and we spent five minutes maximum taking family photos and snaps of the bride and groom. Trevor did not arrive until later and missed most of the fun.

After dinner there was dancing. I stood to the side and was surprised when one of the doctors from work, Tom, approached me. "Wow Ruth! You look a million dollars tonight. I, um, well I admit I have spent most of the evening glancing your way. Um, I'm not sure if you dance, but, um..."

I could see Tom was blushing. "Actually Tom, I'd love to dance, thank-you!"

Tom was a great dancer. Trevor never liked to dance. Suddenly the band announced they were playing a song for the newlyweds and started singing the Elvis classic 'Can't help falling in love with you.' I was expecting Tom to thank me and us to break apart, but instead he pulled me closer. Tom was a bit taller than me and I found myself enveloped in his arms. I felt safe and secure. It had been ages since I had been this close to a man. I could smell his aftershave and it smelt like sandalwood, a scent my father used to wear.

As the song ended Tom whispered in my ear how lovely it was to have shared those dances with me and suggested we grab a drink as the band was having a break. I looked around for Alex and Charlotte and could not see them. They had both been dancing near me. I knew they could not go far, but something had me concerned. I was walking towards the drinks stand and I knew Tom was talking to me, but I was not listening.

"Tom, I'm so sorry, I can't see Alex and Charlotte and I'm just concerned," I tried to feebly explain.

"They're over by the sweet stand with a balding man," Tom explained, and I was immediately glad of his height.

I moved away and noticed them standing with their father. My shoulders immediately sunk, and I wished the ground would open me up and swallow me.

"Ruth, are you ok?" Tom asked as his arm reached for my upper arm.

"It's their father," I replied, "I didn't think he was coming."

"So, um, you two aren't together then?" Tom enquired.

"Not exactly," I laughed, "He traded in me in for younger more beautiful models."

"Wow, what a douche canoe!" Tom exclaimed.

It was a term I was not familiar with and it made me laugh.

"Two sparkling wines, please," Tom was decisive in his order. I had not had anything to drink all evening and agreed with is taste.

"Thank-you," I smiled as Tom passed me a glass, "I needed reminding that tonight was about celebrating Melody and Nelson's love."

"That too," Tom almost smirked, "But I'm proud of myself in asking you to dance!"

I laughed and standing next to Tom I wrapped an arm around his waist and drew him in for a hug. I had seen Tom around the clinics, and I knew he smiled at me and was kind to me, but that was not unusual. It was unusual for a guy as good looking and nice as Tom to be single and I never thought to assume anyone was.

"And what about you, Tom," I sipped the wine, "You must have a string of broken hearts behind you. It's so rare to find someone in our age group who is single."

It was Tom's turn to drop his shoulders. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean, Oh Tom, no, please, I'm so not used to talking to men, fuck."

Tom turned to me and smiled again. "It's ok, Ruth. I think the main broken heart was my own."

I did not want to probe, and Tom did not appear comfortable in opening up anymore. Besides, we were interrupted.

"So this is Mummy's boyfriend is it?" I heard the voice I used to swoon over and turned to see confused looks on Alex and Charlotte's faces.

"Hi, I'm Tom and I work with Ruth," Tom held out his hand.

"Mummy, is he your boyfriend?" A puzzled Alex asked.

"Hey mate, I'm Tom and I am a friend of your mum and a boy, but that doesn't make me her boyfriend. I mean, I do like your mum though," Tom was down at Alex's level and Alex looked happy with his response.

"And who is the flower girl who spread those rose petals so beautifully before?" Tom held out his hand to shake Charlotte's.

"I'm Charlotte and you're funny!" Charlotte giggled.

Jill had seen her son head to me and made a beeline, however she had been side-tracked along the way. She finally caught up with us, "Alex, Charlotte, I think Pops has put a movie on in the lounge and I heard there were beanbags and popcorn in there if you wanted to go inside."

I mouthed a thank-you to Jill as she led her grandchildren away. The band was tuning up again and I felt a hand find mine. I gripped it tightly. "If you'll excuse us, mate, I need some more time dancing with this stunning woman."

"What did you call him again?" I asked Tom as we walked towards the dancefloor.

"Douche canoe, but I'm beginning to think he's more of a twat-waffle!"

The way Tom rhymed the two words saw me giggling like a schoolgirl. We danced however it was too hard to carry on any conversation. As the band finished, I saw Tom check his watch.

"Ruth, as lovely as it is dancing with you," I could feel a 'don't call me, I'll call you moment coming on, "I actually have to get home to relieve the babysitter. I'm in clinics Wednesday morning and I hope we can catch up then."

I did not know what to make of him. He had told me he was proud of himself for talking to me and asking me to dance and he was charming in front of Trevor, but he did not divulge a lot. Melody found me and told me that Tom and I looked like a cosy couple on the dancefloor. I explained that it was just a colleague, but I did admit I did not know what to make of him.

Melody told me she had only worked with him briefly and she invited almost everyone she knew to the housewarming. "He keeps to himself at work and doesn't socialise a lot, so I was surprised to see him here, but I'll ask around for you when I get back from the honeymoon!"

I laughed and told Melody that was not necessary. "Besides," I added, "I'm pretty sure your brother scared him off!"

I excused myself and told Melody that I really needed to be getting the kids home to bed. Pat carried Charlotte to the car as she had fallen asleep and Alex complained he wanted to watch the end of the movie, but I explained to him that we had seen 'Toy Story' so many times he already knew the ending.

Getting ready for work on Wednesday morning I did not do anything different. I always wore plain scrubs and never wore any makeup. My hair was always up in a bun so it didn't get in the way. I chuckled remembering it was a long way from the burgundy dress and hairstyle that had been created on Saturday night.

I was finishing up an ECG on a patient helping my colleague Maggie when Tom poked his head through the door. "Um, Ruth, I was going to grab a bite to eat and was wondering if you might be free to join me?"

"She'd love to and she has no need to rush back either," Maggie answered for me to the amusement of Mr Brown who sat with the sticky dots on his chest.

"I'll just grab my bag," I said.

We walked towards the staff canteen.

"So how old are your children, they really were delightful in their roles on Saturday," Tom opened with.

"Well, Alex turns 11 in March and Charlotte just turned 7." I replied.

"Cool, cool. Um, so, Edwin is my eldest and he's 10 too and Georgia, well she's 7 in a couple of months. So, um, do yours spend much time with their Dad?"

I laughed, "He dragged me through court for over 2 years and argued black and blue for so much contact was given every second weekend and some school holiday time and has seen them twice, no three times since then including last Saturday. What about yours?"

I could see Tom take a deep breath. We were passing a little garden area and Tom indicated for me to sit down. I was waiting for him to tell me that she was still there, but she didn't like sex anymore as the last doctor who tried to chat me up had done.

"Ruth, um, Georgina died giving birth to Georgia."

I placed my hand on top of Tom's. "I really am so sorry, Tom." I could not think of anything else to say.

"I wanted to tell you last Saturday, but it's not the sort of thing you bring up. I, um, went to the housewarming because I thought you would be there and, well, my heart has skipped a beat when you're around for months now, but I didn't know how to ask you out or if you really were single or not and, um, well, it's been over 15 years since I asked a woman out and I'm out of practice and I mean..."

"Shh..." I hushed Tom, "I think I kind of understand."

"I've been seeing a therapist and he said I should just ask you out for a coffee or something, but it's hard. I mean, Georgie's been gone for almost 7 years and it's only in the last few months I noticed you, or anyone really, as a desirable woman."

"I don't see myself as desirable!" I replied, "It's hard when you know you've been replaced by younger more beautiful models.

"Well I think that knob jockey needs his head read."

I laughed and again told Tom I loved his way with words. We stood and walked towards the canteen. Tom's phone rang a couple of times on the way. I could see why people called him, he had a calm manner and always responded as if it would be no trouble whatsoever.

We both grabbed the dish of the day and sat at a table. Soon we were joined by some of Tom's colleagues. He tried to introduce me, but they hardly noticed me. Tom tried to engage me in conversation, but his colleagues barely let him get a word in edgewise. Plus, his phone rang several times. I finished and went to stand to walk back to clinics. Tom stood too.

"Ruth, wait, I want to walk with you."

We were walking away and I heard one of his colleagues say to the other that he did not realise we were there together.

"I'm so sorry about that disaster," Tom looked upset and angry as his phone started ringing again.

"No, sorry Damo, you know I have to arrange childcare for my on-calls and I cannot cover for you on Friday. I'm sorry, yes, yes I'm sure it is a hot date, but I need more notice to swap, sorry."

It was the most flustered I had seen Tom.

"I probably shouldn't have taken my anger out on Damo, he's a good mate, but he also seems to score hot dates every weekend!" Tom told me as we walked along.

"I really am sorry about lunch- it did not pan out as I had planned. I, um, do want to ask you out on a date, but my parents are away at the moment and Georgie's Dad hasn't been well, so I don't like asking them. I could see if my babysitter is available so we could catch up this weekend?" Tom looked so anxious.

"Tom, I'd really love to catch up with you this weekend, but Melody and Nelson are away, and I don't like calling on Jill and Pat as they live down in Sydney. How about we swap numbers and we'll see what we can sort out."

I entered my name and number into Tom's phone, and he did the same. I felt comfortable around him and it had been a long time since I had felt this way. As we arrived back at the clinic Tom again looked flustered.

"Tom, I really enjoyed our walks to and from the canteen, even if the middle bit was a little strange and I do hope we can catch up together sometime soon for more grown up time."

Tom smiled and leant in and kissed me on the cheek. It was merely a peck, but it sent shivers all the way to my toes. I blushed and watched him walk away.

"How was your date?" Maggie asked as I walked back in.

"It wasn't a date. We walked to and from the canteen inbetween him taking phone calls, but I do hope we can sort our diaries to have a date sometime soon."

"Thomas Cooper is a delight," Maggie offered, "He's been through so much and handled it so well, I mean, most of his colleagues are consultants now, but he took time off and then demanded part-time work when his children were younger. I'm so glad he's moving on and even happier it's with you!"

I asked Maggie not to put the cart before the horse, but secretly I hoped we would find some more common ground despite having children the same age. As I put my bag away I heard my phone ping alerting me to a message. I looked and smiled 'Next Wednesday I'm going to turn my work phone off over lunch! Sorry again, Tom.' I had no time to reply so I simply went back to work with a smile on my face.

After dinner and wrangling Alex and Charlotte towards bed I finally found a moment to reply to Tom's message. 'Haha! I didn't mind listening to you on the phone, you have such a calm manner and I can see why people would call you. I forgot but dance class starts this weekend for Charlotte and then school is back so I really need to spend time with the kids.'

As soon as I'd sent it I tried to micro-analyse what I had said. I followed it up with 'Oh and how about next Wednesday I pack a lunch for us and we can eat it in the gardens at the hospital?'

It did not take long to get a response, 'Now that's a great idea! Also, Georgia has been bugging me about dance classes and I started looking and there were so many, um, could you recommend any?'

I replied and told Tom about Charlotte's dance school, how it was low key, they did not make children enter Eisteddfod's or competitions if they didn't want to and the emphasis was on having fun. Tom told me that sounded perfect and I sent the teacher's name and number through.

In less than twenty minutes Tom replied that Georgia was booked in to the 9am class on Saturday. "That's great, Tom! That's Charlotte's class too. I usually grab a coffee and a treat for Alex and we walk around to the skate park and watch the older kids for a bit whilst class is on. I'm sure Alex wouldn't mind if Edwin and you want to join us.'

I berated myself as soon as I had sent it telling myself that I was now putting the cart before the horse. I thought back to the parenting courses I had done as part of the court process and one of the big things was keeping new significant others away from your kids until you were certain. When Tom did not reply immediately I thought that I had really stuffed up. 'Um, or not, because I mean, you probably don't want me to meet Edwin yet and I would not usually have introduced anyone to my kids so soon and it was only that they were at the wedding so I'm sorry but I have never done this before and I'm floundering.'

I did not read the message through before sending it as I wanted it gone. I wanted to take back the offer. More minutes passed. I thought of sending another message but convinced myself to stop. After an hour or so my phone rang.

"Ruth, I hope it's not too late, but I was putting Edwin to bed and my phone ran out of battery and I had to charge it and I'm sorry! But yes, coffee on Saturday and a walk sounds great. I told Georgia tonight that a Mum from work had recommended a dance class and she was thrilled." Tom would hardly let me get a word in.

"Phew!" I replied, "I really thought I had fucked this up, oops, sorry, I am trying to stop saying that word."

We chatted for about half an hour. I told Tom that the kids had been going to vacation care at their school. He said that he was paying a babysitter, a nursing student who had answered his ad and the kids loved.

I could feel more jealousy rising, but I stopped myself from saying anything. We soon wished each other goodnight and both said that we were looking forward to coffee on Saturday.

Charlotte was up so early on Saturday morning. Their teacher suggested bike shorts and a top the girls could move in for their classes. Charlotte and I had been shopping, much to Alex's disapproval. Charlotte was dressed by 7am and brought me a bowl of muesli in bed telling me I needed to hurry.

In the car on the way to dancing I told Alex and Charlotte that my friend Tom was bringing his daughter Georgia to dancing classes this morning and I would see if he wanted to join us for our coffee and walk to the skate park. Alex seemed indifferent and Charlotte was excited. She loved making new friends.

Tom was there when we arrived. He was not hard to miss in a lovely new Four-Wheel Drive. I felt decidedly inferior in my old family station wagon that was older than Alex. We still parked next to them and Alex and Charlotte were soon out of the car. They both said hello to Tom who introduced Georgia to them both. The two girls were soon holding hands walking towards dance class together.

"C'mon champ," Tom said into the car, "Time to put the game down and come out, there are people here I'd like you to meet."

Edwin skulked out of the car. He appeared shy and I did not want to inundate him with questions. We walked towards the coffee shop in silence. Alex was the first to break it.

"So Mum, remember when you said that I had to be 11 to have a coke, well I'm 11 in 6.4 weeks precisely and I was wondering if I could have one this morning."

I was trying to work out a diplomatic way to respond when Edwin spoke.

"11? My dad said you have to be 13!"

I knew I was between a rock and a hard place.

"Alex, you are right, I did say 11, but you have forgotten the other part which was not before lunch time and it's still only 9 o'clock so it's milk or juice kiddo or a cookie or muffin if you want."

Tom was smiling. He whispered in my ear, "I sometimes have a coke for breakfast on my way to work and I hope I'm not going to get in trouble."

We arrived at the coffee shop. Alex pretended to browse the menu. I ordered my usual flat white and asked Alex what he wanted. He settled on a chocolate milk from the fridge. Tom offered to buy ours and I insisted that we keep things separate. As we were waiting for our drinks I heard Alex start asking Edwin about his favourite games. I began to breathe more freely as the two boys struck up a conversation.